Sorry about the cliffhanger! But it felt so right…anyways, listening to my personalized radio station which you get for signing up for the yahoo messenger service. This is the only reason I downloaded it, heh. Okay, I bet you guys are ready to find out what happened to Ryuuen now. Hell, you probably aren't even reading this, you probably just skipped right to the good stuff. Not that I blame you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi.
Warnings: Angst. Genrou cusses. Shock!
Somewhere Out There
Chapter Fourteen
Strangely in the darkness that I felt was gently carrying me away, I heard someone yell my name. The voice was trying to call me back but I was there, I was with Kourin. Who would want to take me away from that? Who wouldn't want me to be with my little sister?
Someone was yelling Kourin. Maybe they were excited to see her too.
Wait…am I…in Konan?
It all felt so very far away that the thought sort of jolted me. Konan. That meant they were yelling for me. Yelling for me because they thought I was Kourin.
More shouting, splashing. Why was there splashing? The water wasn't that deep.
"Ryuuen…" Kourin spoke to me softly. "Don't leave me here…"
"I won't." I smiled and held her close to me. "I won't leave you here by yourself."
Arms went around my waist and tugged at me. Kourin looked horrified and angry. I clenched my teeth, angry at this person, angry for trying to take me away. They tugged again and grabbed them, using my strength to shove them away and go straight back to Kourin.
Her open arms were waiting for me. I was about to grab them when the person, this interferer hit my head. I blinked hard, seeing not Kourin but watery darkness. I was in the water. I was under the water.
"Kourin!" I tried to yell for her but water was in my mouth and in my lungs and I realized that I had been tricked by the demon. I had fallen right into the trap. I was going to die here, in this horrible lake.
Kourin was there, looking cruelly at me. Even though I knew she was an illusion and that she was a demon, I couldn't help it. I wanted it so badly.
"Kourin…" My eyes started to close. What was the point? What was the point of fighting it when I could be with Kourin? When I died, I'd be with Kourin again and she would be smiling. There wouldn't be this lake or drowning or anything bad…
It would be so beautiful…
Just the two of us…
I thought of Kourin's face, the face I saw as she died in my memory. I wanted to see that face so badly that it didn't matter if I was looking into a demon's eyes or not. Died…when she did…that's the first time I had come here…
A little boy…with amber eyes…
The most amazing amber eyes…
Saihitei…
I heard the strangest noise and felt the strangest sensation going through my whole body. It felt like electricity, flowing through me but different. And not only that but…I wasn't drowning anymore.
I was alive.
There was air in me…but how was that possible. My eyes started to lift and I saw that Saihitei's mouth was covering my own as he attempted to breathe air into my lungs. Just a brief moment where our eyes met and I knew…
I love you, no matter what.
Then the water came up into my mouth and Saihitei pulled away so I could cough it out. I was gulping the air in and also noticing that I was soaking wet. My hair and clothes were dripping.
"…Don't know what the fuck she was thinking." Genrou's voice commented to someone.
"Shhh, give her a moment." Kishuku quieted him.
"Kourin?" Miaka asked tentatively. I opened my eyes wide to see that I was sitting up, right next to Saihitei, who was kneeling on both his knees next to me. The other three were standing there. Saihitei was soaking wet as well so I knew who else had gone in the water. Kishuku was also wet and I wondered if it was him who had hit me on the head. Miaka was drying tears away from her eyes hastily, probably not wanting me to know she had been crying. Genrou was perfectly dry and standing there, trying not to look like he had been worried. I smiled.
"Heeeeey." I waved cheerfully at them.
"That's all you can say?!" Genrou roared in disbelief. "'Hey'?! You scared the shit out of us with that fucking suicide attempt you just pulled!"
"Genrou." Saihitei's voice hushed him. "Please."
"Was it the demon?" Kishuku asked curiously.
"Yeah…yeah it was." I admitted, shivering and not looking at the lake. Why did it have to appear as Kourin? Why did I have to be reminded how much I missed her? How much I wanted to see her again?
"Oh Kourin, how awful." Miaka put a comforting hand on my arm.
"It's okay, really. I-I'm fine." I was completely shaken. I was not fine. I had almost died and part of me wouldn't have minded at all. I was just going to leave them. I was so selfish!
"Fucking scared us." Genrou shook his head.
"Yeah, so scared that Genrou here didn't jump in to help." Kishuku gave Genrou a sideways challenging look.
"I'm a fucking mountain man, I don't swim!" Genrou turned red at his own announcement. The two proceeded to get into a rather harmless wrestling match. I tried to laugh at it. They were just trying to cheer me up and take my mind off the lake. I glanced back towards it but saw nothing but water.
"You two!" Miaka got up to make sure they didn't actually injure each other and I was left sitting there with Saihitei next to me.
I wasn't sure what to say and the pressure to say something was beginning to mount as the moments passed. He had saved my life and had given me mouth to mouth which sent a strange mixture of thrills and shivers down my spine. It was of course to save me but there was something strangely exciting about the idea that it was practically kissing.
And then of course I had been thinking of drifting away and I was being pulled in so many directions. What could I possibly do? And had everyone purposely left me and Saihitei alone so that we could talk?
To confuse matters more, it was at that moment that Saihitei wrapped his arms around me, pulling me backwards into him.
"Kourin…" His whisper was so fierce that I wondered how frightened and worried he had become when I went into that lake. "I won't ask what you saw…I just…I thought you were just going to disappear. I thought you were dead when Kishuku and I pulled you out of that lake."
"I'm…I'm sorry." I apologized and that's when I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I wasn't strong enough to resist the demon. I wasn't strong enough to fight. I wasn't strong enough to be a seishi.
So why am I Nuriko?
I was so close to just giving up…
"I'm sorry I was so weak." I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I'm sorry that I thought I could just leave and I didn't think about anyone but me…I'm sorry…"
"Kourin…" Saihitei was surprised by my words. I turned and hugged my face against his chest and his arms wrapped around me more tightly.
"I…I love you." I murmured as my eyes closed. It was so comfortable and warm to just sit there like this. It felt like I didn't have to worry about anything. That everything would turn out alright.
"I love you." Saihitei echoed as his hand went to my cheek and he tilted my head up towards him. Our lips pressed together for a long sweet moment.
I love you…so don't hate me when you find out the truth…
Don't hate me one day…
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Something was wrong. We were ready to leave the forest a little later and I thought it was odd I hadn't woken up yet. I didn't really question it, the longer I could stay was good.
Miaka awed over the two of us but when she did I had a horrible guilty feeling in my stomach. She wasn't allowed to even touch Kishuku. I could see the pained smile on Kishuku's face. I wished I could just come out and say it but I was so afraid that Saihitei would hate me if I did.
Genrou made teasing remarks but was obviously happy for us. He seemed to notice Kishuku's mood. I felt like I should at least go talk to Kishuku and so I excused myself away from the others to find him. He was just a little bit away, sitting on a log and looking at the ground.
"You shouldn't wander off wander off. Remember what happened last time." I gave him a small forced smile, trying to fake that I was okay with the earlier events.
"Hey Kourin." Kishuku greeted me. "I just wanted to think for a moment."
"Look…um…" I sat down on the log next to him. "If you need to talk about something…you can go ahead and talk about it with me."
"It's obvious isn't it?" Kishuku turned towards me. "I…I told Miaka that I…I'm in love with her."
"Alright." I didn't want to tell him I had been eavesdropping.
"And I know that it's stupid because she can't touch a man or she'll be defiled. She can't even…just hold my hand or anything…its torture…" Kishuku confess. "She loves me too. It's just not fair! It's not like I'm not happy for you and Saihitei. You're both good people…I'm just mad because…I can't be with her the way I want to be. The way she wants to be with me."
"Maybe…it isn't hopeless." I bit my lip. "If you're in love with her…then you fell in love knowing that you couldn't even touch her. Which means you really do love her. Miaka…she needs people to love her. If you're always there to love her…she'll always be there to love you."
"Kishuku? Kourin?" Miaka came up from behind us.
"We're probably worrying the others." I hit Kishuku on the back and he flew forward and hit the ground, the same way Genrou had when I had hit him on the back. "Oh, whoops, forgot about that whole super strength thing." I put a hand up to my mouth and giggled.
"Yeah, whoops." Kishuku gave me a humorless look.
"What were you two talking about?" Miaka questioned curiously.
"Nothing." I smiled pleasantly at her. Miaka was wearing her priestess robes as usual, though less ornate. She had many ribbons tied around her waist in addition to her sash. I guess she had to keep some stuff around just because she was used to it. Then I got an idea. "Here, Miaka, give me one of your ribbons for a second."
"Okay." Miaka untied one of the ribbons, which really had no use anyways, and handed it to me.
"Here." I held out one end to her. She looked confused but took it from me. I took the other end over to Kishuku. "Here." Kishuku stared for a few moments and looked from the ribbon in my hand, to me, to Miaka. He took hold of it. "You said you wanted to at least be able to hold her hand…so this is close, right?"
Kishuku smiled gratefully and Miaka's face lit up.
"Let's go back to camp." I suggested, walking in front of them. I glanced back to see Kishuku and Miaka looking at each other with what can only be described as love as they walked along, each holding onto an end of the ribbon.
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We decided to stay in the forest. Our thinking was that if the demon showed up again, this time we would try to destroy it. I wasn't sure what our real plan for this was but we all knew the demon should be taken care of so that no one else fell under its spell.
But as the day left, I still hadn't woken up from this world. I wondered if something was wrong. Or maybe I had been really tired and my body was trying to catch up on sleep.
Something felt wrong though. I couldn't tell what it was.
"You still haven't woken up." Saihitei pointed out as we made camp for the night. It was like he had read my mind.
"Yeah, I'm sure it's okay." I shrugged. "Maybe I was more tired than I thought I was."
Saihitei didn't say anything else on the matter. We ate dinner and then decided we would take turns being on watch. We also decided to do it in pairs and Kishuku and Genrou took the first shift.
I began to feel drowsy and went to sleep almost right away. I thought I would wake up in my own bedroom but I didn't. I just slept and had dreams.
I woke up for a few moments after sleeping for awhile and didn't know why. Then I heard a voice.
"I know you're hiding you devil." A voice that I thought I had heard before was saying. "I'm going to drive you out, no da."
I went to open my eyes and that's when something slapped rather hard against my forehead.
"He--!" I only barely got out before the pain hit me. A horrible pain that wracked my whole body. It felt like something was being ripped from my body but it kept trying to hold on.
I heard other voices, possibly the others having woken up or noticing what was happening. An image of Kourin was in my head and it kept slipping away and I kept trying to bring it back and hold onto it.
"Let it go!" The voice ordered.
I didn't understand why this voice wanted me to let go of Kourin. I couldn't though, I just couldn't…she…
Kourin's dead.
Kourin's dead…so why are you trying to hold onto her?
It made sense in my head all of a sudden. I was trying to hold onto something that I could never have back. It hurt but I suddenly relaxed and let the image of Kourin float away.
Good-bye…Kourin…
I yelled in pain as something tore free from me. I opened my eyes to see Houjun, the strange monk we had seen before standing right next to me. His face wasn't looking at me but at something next to me. I turned to see a disgusting monster screeching and wriggling with discomfort.
"It's the demon!" Miaka's voice came from behind me, confirming that the others were awake. An arm went around my shoulder.
"Are you alright Kourin?" Saihitei asked me.
"Yes, I'm alright." I stood up rather shakily with him.
"You aren't the first person tricked by this demon no da." Houjun looked very serious for his strangely happy face. "It's not always in one place no da so it's very hard to hunt and kill."
The demon roared in anger and suddenly fired tiny but very painful looking sparks of light at us. Houjun jumped in front of us and twirled his staff in a circle very quickly, over and over again, deflecting all the little sparks.
Except one.
It hit him on the knee and ripped his clothes. A red sign glowed there where the clothing was torn.
Another seishi. Houjun jumped up and struck the demon on the head with his staff. The demon seemed to be hurt by this but Houjun jumped back.
"It's a water demon, if it gets back into the lake, it's hopeless." Houjun told us.
"Water demon eh?" Genrou stepped forward, taking out his tessen. "Rekka SHINEN!" He swept it and the fire engulfed the demon.
It made a horrible wailing noise and Houjun pelted it with little ofuda that amazingly enough did not burn up in the fire. The demon exploded into tiny light particles that quickly dissipated.
"You're Chichiri!" Miaka had finally gotten a good look at the character on Houjun's knee. "You're one of the Suzaku no Shichiseishi."
"Um…" On close inspection, I saw part of Houjun's face was peeling away. "Um your face…" Houjun touched the loose part tentatively.
"Oh, there goes that one no da." Houjun grabbed his face with one hand and pulled the whole thing away, causing me and Miaka to fall over backwards together. He turned towards Genrou. "Thanks for the help no da. That's a pretty handy fan."
"No big deal." Genrou muttered and looked a little embarrassed.
"He's…wearing a mask…" Miaka and I were still a little dazed. I felt the familiar sensation that meant I was going to fade away.
"Bye guys, see you in awhile." I waved at them. "Nice to meet you Houjun."
"And you." Houjun shook my hand just as I was about to leave.
All's in a good day's work.
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