Well, I'm sitting down to work on this next chapter while I wait for something else. Got nothing else to do to pass the time and really, I promised to try and get this story done. Is Pink Floyd helping? Not really. But that's Launchcast Radio for you. Not always helpful.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi.

Warnings: Swearing.

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Somewhere Out There

Chapter Twenty-Two

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We were all standing there, perfectly still, except for the wind blowing through our hair. I thought I had heard him wrong. I just couldn't believe it. Maybe we were all standing there, waiting for him to go on because none of us could believe it.

But Koutoku did not start laughing and announce it was just an elaborate joke. He stood that with that hard expression on his face.

"But…but…" Miaka was at a lost for words. "But you were one of us…"

"We trusted you…" Kishuku was shaking with anger. "And the whole time you were from Kutou…"

"How can you say anything to me about lying? After you just comforted Ryuuen, who lied to you all." Koutoku asked us and I felt like someone had slapped me.

Can I really say it's different?

I almost ruined everything…

Just like he wanted to do it…

But then, he put his flute to his lips and began to play. It was a harsh, screeching song that instantly made my head began to pound with pain.

I cried out and found I wasn't alone; everyone had their hands to their heads, trying to block the music out by covering their ears. It was impossible to. It was pounding through my whole body; it had gotten into my brain, into my blood.

I heard Miaka try to yell to Koutoku over the music, trying to appeal to his mercy or something. I twisted around, to try and look at Saihitei but as I turned to see that behind Koutoku, past the edge of the bridge, a young man was standing there, who had just dropped a large pile of scrolls and papers because of the music.

Scrolls…papers…

I know him…

Why do I know him?

"I'm Oo Doukun."

I was supposed to meet him after the Ceremony to pick the next Suzaku no Miko…

But I forgot about it! Many he can get away…get help…or something…

I sank down to my knees; the throbbing pain was getting so intense. But I noticed that this Doukun wasn't getting away, he was on the ground too, but he looked as though he were doing something. I couldn't figure out what and my head felt like it was going to explode.

And just when I knew that it was all over, that I was going to die from the pain, I heard a different sound.

A strange, high-pitched sound that made the screeching song of Koutoku's flute seem less and my head started to feel less and less pain. The high-pitched song was taken over completely and I felt that I would be able to stand if I tried so I did. The others were all recovering too.

Koutoku looked horrified that his plan hadn't worked and turned and ran for it. Genrou and Kishuku had to take a moment to recover and then they were after him. I wondered if they would catch him. Genrou's seishi attribute was speed after all. But then our eyes fell to Doukun, who lifted something small and green from his lips.

But maybe that's not quite where our eyes fell. They fell to the reddish glow that was coming from his foot.

"Is he…?" Miaka started towards him and we all followed her. He was looking at us with a slightly stunned expression, as though we were the ones who had just done something shocking.

"What happened?" Doukun asked us.

"What do you mean; you're the one who saved us!" I said in a mock-accusing voice. Maybe now was not the best time to joke around. "Stick out your foot." He lifted his garment and stuck his foot out. A symbol glowed on it.

"Chiriko!" Miaka cheered. "But…the right one?"

"We had a falling out with our last Chiriko." I explained to him. "He wasn't actually Chiriko."

"I must say that I was truly not expecting this at all today." Doukun was looking at his foot with a slightly troubled look, as though he had just committed a crime. "I confess…I'm at a loss…"

"What was that thing you were playing?" Houjun inquired curiously.

"Well," Doukun brightened up a bit. "When I was walking by, that horrible song started to fill my ears and it was making my head hurt so I thought to myself, that if there was a way to disrupt the sound, then I could break the effect of the flute's song. So I made a leaf whistle." He held up a leaf. "I was taught how to make them when I was very young."

"You are the young scholar I've heard so much about, aren't you?" Saihitei asked in his regal manner. I was glad that the conversation had picked up because although it might not have shown, the whole thing with Koutoku had really shaken me up. After all, we hadn't really given any thought to the whole idea that there could have very well been fake Suzaku seishi running around.

And I felt like I should have noticed. After all, we were all here to protect Miaka, right? And here I was, all wrapped up in myself, being totally selfish. All because I was too scared and now I found out that it wasn't all that scary. In fact, it was the best thing I could have done.

But Koutoku had seemed to be offended by the fact that everyone could accept my lies and not his. I kept telling myself it was two completely different situations but still…

I noticed Genrou and Kishuku coming back, looking rather dismayed, which could only mean one thing: They hadn't caught up with Koutoku. Who knew what was going to happen now.

"He got away." Kishuku told us, his eyes shadowed by his bangs. I wondered what he was thinking right then. I mean, we weren't going to shun him for a mistake, so why did he have such a strange expression on his face? Genrou took up cursing and calling Koutoku a variety names until Miaka told him to stop it.

"It's not helping." She poked Genrou in the chest with her index finger. "We almost died! If the real Chiriko hadn't shown up…"

"How do we know he is the real fucking Chiriko?" Genrou narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Doukun.

"Because I can tell." Miaka insisted.

"I think Doukun is too." I said slowly. The others looked at me. "Don't ask me why. Call it a feeling…but you know, we all met by fate, right? I mean, we've run into each other by pure coincidence, but that's how Doukun saved us too. And I ran into Doukun awhile ago, back before I even knew I was a seishi. I promised to tell him about my world and I forgot…" I gave him an apologetic look.

"Ryuuen makes a wonderful point." Saihitei put a hand on my shoulder and I smiled at him gratefully.

"I was just fucking asking." Genrou muttered as he kicked a pebble on the ground.

"Should we try the ceremony again?" Miaka asked us. I was about to say something else when I realized I was fading away. That pretty much decided it. They couldn't do the ceremony without me.

I woke up in my bed and sat up. I thought of all the things that had happened. A fake Chiriko, telling the others the truth. Things had been a certain way for so long that I didn't consider what it would be like if it was all turned around.

Going down the stairs, I found smiling. I was no longer Kourin to them. I was Ryuuen. I was me. I had to put aside my sister, or maybe that wasn't the way to phrase it. I had to be me.

"Kourin's dead." I said out loud to myself. It was the first time I had done so. "Kourin's gone now…"

The world felt different somehow, I can't really explain it. I wondered what Kourin would think if she saw me now. But then I thought of something.

Who says she couldn't?

-

When I got back the next night, there was an air of busyness and seriousness to the whole place that I could feel as soon as I appeared in my room there. Houki had been a bit stunned by my re-appearance, and then of course wanted to know if it was true that I was really a man. I assured her it was. After a few moments of fumbling, she seemed to take control of herself.

"I thought you should know." Houki looked around before leaning in towards me. "Everybody's talking about it. Kutou's forces are on the move."

"Where are the others?" I asked, standing very alertly. Houki informed me that Miaka was in the Shrine and that the other seishi were around the palace so I went out looking for them.

I found one right away.

It was raining heavily and I saw someone standing out in the rain. Well, not in plain sight, they were sitting hunched over with their back to a tree. I was surprised that I had even spotted them since it was so dark outside. Judging from the hair at that distance, I decided it was Kishuku.

Although I didn't really want to run out into the rain, I was curious to know why he was sitting out there by himself and so I quickly made my way towards him. When I was a few feet away, my shoes thoroughly soaked with water, he turned and saw me.

"Oh, Kourin." Kishuku looked up at me, his face unusually glum. Rain was pouring down on us in sheets but I sat down next to him. The guy was completely drenched, his clothes were soaking wet, and his hair bangs dripped. "Sorry, I mean, Ryuuen."

"It's okay." I tried not to chatter my teeth. I let myself shiver instead. "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking." Kishuku was sitting cross-legged, with his hands resting in his lap. His eyes dropped down to his hands.

"What about?" I inquired; wondering why on Earth Kishuku would be sitting out here in the rain.

There was nothing but silence between the two of us for a few minutes. All that I could hear was the constant hammering of the rain and the faraway yells of the people in the palace.

He didn't speak at all, his blue eyes were focused intently on his hands but I could tell that he was thinking about something very faraway. But what was it?

"I did something…" Kishuku confessed, trailing off, his eyes coming up to meet mine for a moment. Then he looked away again. "I did something really bad."

"How bad?" I questioned hesitantly.

"Did you hear about Kutou's forces?" Kishuku looked back up at me and watched him through the steady drip-drip of water from my own bangs.

"Yes." I suddenly had a horrible feeling. "What…what happened? What did you do?"

"It's all my fault." Kishuku's right hand closed into a fist. "I told Genrou we should split up, that he'd be easier to find…"

"Who, Koutoku?" I interrupted.

"Yeah." Kishuku nodded grimly. "I found him, I had him cornered. I was going to call for Genrou but he stopped me. I should have done something. I should have killed him for betraying our country and…and Miaka…but I couldn't. He told me that he hated all of this, that he had only done it because he wanted to live a peaceful life with his brother…I thought about my family. Chuuei and all the others and how I'd like them to have a peaceful life. He asked if he could go and I let him." He looked up at me with large blue eyes, full of some inner pain that I could only begin to fathom. "I let him go."

"But…" I trailed off. "But I don't understand."

"He asked me if…if we would summon Suzaku, to stop the war." Kishuku gave me a pleading look. "He really sounded like he wanted it to end but the first thing he did was run off to Kutou and told them to rally the forces…"

"You don't know that." I interjected sharply. "You don't know what Koutoku did when he went back."

"My name is Bu Koutoku, pleased to meet you all."

He really did seem like a good person…I don't think we were wrong back then. But things have changed now.

"This is all my fault." Kishuku hung his head. "I'm a traitor to my country."

"Everyone knows that Kutou and Konan were near open war as it was!" I frowned at him. "You can't blame this on yourself. And how do you know that none of us would have done the same if we were in your position? Koutoku lied to us but…but maybe he had his reasons. I'm not going let you sit here in the rain and pity yourself."

"I'm not pitying myself!" Kishuku looked angrily at me.

"Well then prove it!" I stood up. "Believe in Koutoku, even if that does sound strange! Maybe he really did want Suzaku to be summoned otherwise…"

Otherwise he would have waited…

Why didn't I see it before?

"How do you do that Ryuuen?" Kishuku asked me, a strange look on his face.

"How do I do what?" I was shivering cold and wanted to get inside soon, before I caught a chill.

"Everyone knows you're the strongest of us." Kishuku stood up next to me. He extended his arm forward so he could put a hand on my shoulder as he passed by me. "But I don't think just physically. Do you…" He paused and I saw that he really did look like needed some sort of approval. "Do you really think I did the right thing?"

"I can't say." I shook my head. "I don't really know. But if you did it, then you must have really felt like you should have. If you felt like it was the right thing to do, I wouldn't doubt you. Now let's get out of the rain before we both catch hypothermia or something."

"Good idea." Kishuku gave me a half smile. "Thanks Ryuuen."

"Er, you're welcome." I didn't quite understand what I had done that merited thanks. I had only talked to him about what happened. But war for Konan would have been a heavy weight to bear.

What would happen to us all now? It was time to find the others and find out.

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Er, not a horribly long chapter. Unfortunately. But there will be a long chapter next time! Heh. This was kind of a weird chapter to write, I'm not sure I did a good job, but I gave it my best! I really need to get some sleep too! Even though it's three hours late, it's still kind of Sunday. Please review!