Title: I Have to Say I Love You in a Spell
Author: Along Came the Spider
Summary: Remus has something to say
Part Five: It is Hard to Hear When Everyone's Screaming

Sirius groaned when he saw who his partner at supper was. Did Impetua truly believe that he wanted to talk to his mother, or was she punishing him for some slight that he was unaware of? He only hoped, for Impetua's sake, that neither of them managed to kill each other. Though with this crowd you never knew if that would truly put a damper on things.

"Mr. Black," His mother said as he took his seat.

He looked at her in surprise. "Mrs. Black, you look well this evening."

His mother inclined her head at the compliment. "As do you, I think that your time in the world has done you some good."

Sirius raised an eyebrow but said nothing. It was safer to play it mute than to step out of line in a verbal sparing match with his mother.

"Ignoring me?" Mrs. Black raised an amused eyebrow. "Shall we see how long you can keep it up?"

"Mrs. Black," Sirius pretended confusion. "Have I offended you in some way?"

"By your very existence, my dear Mr. Black." Mrs. Black smiled. "I should have left you on a hillside at birth."

"Knowing our family I would have been discovered and raised by wolves or some such nonsense." Sirius countered. "Then I would have returned to put you in your place, below the Earth."

"Associating with Mudbloods has not lost you your wits," Mrs. Black observed. "Though I am not sure about Impetua."

Sirius raised an inquiring eyebrow, unsure of his mother's meaning.

"Since she got engaged to one of those awful foreign Wizards she has been an entirely different witch." Mrs. Black murmured. "After all, what hostess worth her salt would put you and I at the same table? Much less as partners."

"I had wondered that my self." Sirius agreed. "Especially since my stated goal of rejoining society was to meet a witch, and produce an heir for the title."

"I was surprised by this attitude." Mrs. Black inclined her head at him. "I wouldn't have thought you would give another thought to your title. I guess I always figured that you would be a bachelor forever."

"I am not doing this out of any true sentiments or love of anything." Sirius informed her. "I'm doing it for a truly Black sentiment."

"And what would that be?" Mrs. Black asked.

"Spite," Sirius smirked.

Mrs. Black laughed.

Sirius smiled and gave the table a once over. He caught Dolohov's gaze, the man gave him a small smile and inclined his head. Sirius returned the nod then turned back to his mother. "Maybe you can answer a question or two for me," Sirius said.

"Ask away," Mrs. Black replied indulgently. Sirius reflected on how odd it was that when he was openly seeking hostilities with her, his mother was almost human.

"You mentioned that there were a large number of foreign wizards in our midst," Sirius indicated the room at large with a flick of his wrist. "Do you know why they are all choosing now to descend upon England?"

"I am not sure that anyone knows." Mrs. Black admitted. "Personally I think that most of them are pretenders. Just like during the French Revolution, most of them are pretending to be Eastern Royalty."

"I can't see the Malfoys being taken in by someone like that," Sirius shrugged.

"Everyone can be taken in," Mrs. Black picked at her skirt. "Not even the Malfoys are above that little affliction. However," Mrs. Black didn't seem happy. "Dolohov appears to be on the up and up."

Sirius blinked at that little bit, his mother wasn't one of those who fell prey to a compliment or two. Voldemort himself had failed to make her smile, or so it was said. She was a proud women, and no half-breed would romance her.

'But where does that leave Dolohov.' Sirius wondered. 'I need to catch him alone.'

Sirius had half expected Remus to be gone when he returned to his apartment. After a month of living with his former roommate, he was unsure of why. Remus was beginning to perk up. He no longer had such a ragged look about him. He was, however, still skittish. There was a feral quality about him, as if he expected that it would become necessary to leave civilization again. He still didn't talk about the months since Hogwarts.

Remus was sitting at his desk, which Sirius had purchased for him so that the kitchen table wouldn't get crowded, writing. Sirius wasn't yet allowed to see what the manuscript was, but Remus often laughed to himself. It wasn't the self depreciating laugh that his friends had come to expect out of the man. It was instead a laugh free of bitterness, and Sirius's heart leapt to hear it. He hadn't realized until the first he'd heard it how rare it was for Remus to be free with himself. He was always holding something back, as if afraid that his other self would come out and play a little too hard a little too long.

Sirius crossed to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He made a face as he saw what his guest was stocking. "Must we have so much meat?" He called out.

"I get these cravings," Remus returned absently. "If it bothers you so much I'll move out, but you said to get whatever I wanted."

"I meant it," Sirius protested moving back into the living room. "It just takes getting used too."

Remus smiled up at him. "I know."

Sirius found his attention being taken up by the thoughts that suddenly flooded his mind. He didn't question them, he had always suspected their existence. He moved closer to Remus and began to lift his hand toward the other man. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Lily's floated through his mind. 'Remus said he'd already found his life mate, and I wasn't it.' Obviously Sirius wasn't it either, Remus would have told him if he was.

"Sirius?" Remus asked curiously.

Sirius blinked, then shook himself all over like he did in his Animagus form. "Sorry," he smiled. "Just woolgathering. I guess the party tired me out more than I thought."

"You should rest then," Remus suggested. "Go to sleep and you'll feel better in the morning."

Sirius grinned at the other man. "I'm sure I will." Sirius moved away before he gave into impulse and hurt himself more than he already was.

Remus watched his friend leave the living room. He smelled the hurt and confusion permeating from him, and he didn't like it. He knew that he was the cause of Sirius's troubles, and as such he should leave the Animagus alone. He'd tried to do that, after he had left Hogwarts he had gone out into the world and tried to cut himself off from his friend. Thoughts of Sirius had brought him back though, that and a letter from Lily.

Lily hadn't come out and said anything directly, but she had sure suggested quite a bit. Her letter had been full of gossip, and the gossip about Sirius had left his blood running cold.

Sirius has been acting somewhat strangely, she had written, James found him actually being friendly with Severus in Diagon Alley the other day. Of course I then had to rush to his side to see if he was still in his right mind. Though that makes one wonder what is the right mind for Sirius Black? Anyway, a bunch of us took him out to lunch, Dumbledore is up to something with him though. He had this look about him. I truly fear for Sirius's sanity though, he has decided to go back into the land of his forefathers and find himself a bride. His first fore into this melee is to take place this upcoming Wednesday, at the Parkinson's annual Christmas Ball.

The thought of Sirius married had Remus packed up and out the door before he really thought about it. He still couldn't bring himself to tie Sirius down himself, but he couldn't bear the thought of another taking what was his.

He sighed and rolled up the current parchment he was working on. He looked at the door to Sirius's room. He was up and on his feet nearly before he knew what was going on in his head. He stopped himself just short of knocking on Sirius's door. He wouldn't know where to begin.

He backed out of the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. He needed to get out of this place, he needed to get away from Sirius. He needed to clear his mind, it always seemed too full when he was around Sirius.

He grabbed his coat from the hook by the door as he exited the apartment. He made it to the door of the apartment building before he decided where he wanted to go, he apparted to his destination and sighed in relief to see that no one else was around. Not that many people went into the Forbidden Forest regularly, but he'd been known to trip over one or two other's while attempting contemplation in the heart of the forest.

He gazed at the calm waters of the lake, the spring underneath it was bubbling. The stream that ran out of it created a soothing sound that always put his mind to rest. He could hear the creatures native to the forest moving around him. He knew them, they knew him. Neither would bother the other, it was a matter of respect.

'Respect' He thought mockingly. 'It is only the beasties that grant me that. Humans fear what they can not control, and you can not control a werewolf.'

It was one of the big things, humans were always claiming that they had respect for him. They all went on and on about how he was dealing with his affliction. Yet for all that none of them would give him a job, they looked at him oddly when he asked for a room. They made sure that he couldn't get anywhere near their children, as if he was contagious at times other than the full moon.

That was one purpose of the books he was writing, making human's face their fear of his kind. It was ridiculous really. A human was as likely to rampage as a werewolf, possibly more so as the werewolves tended to keep their human sides tightly controlled. It was very disconcerting to lose ones self for a day or so.

The thought behind the book was to bring another side of the werewolf story to the populace. He had solicited stories from a few of the other werewolves he knew and was compiling them in a children's book. They would still contain the usual cautionary advice, but would hopefully make the werewolves a little more human.

Remus lay back against a conveniently placed tree. Sirius would be wondering about him soon. Severus would want him to come in and test out that new potion in a little while as well.

He didn't move though, he just stared at the water and let his obligations flow away.

Sirius tiptoed out of his bedroom. The apartment was too quite, which meant that Remus had probably fallen asleep at his desk again. Sirius had no desire to wake the other man. Remus often looked like he didn't get enough sleep, and Sirius was loath to steal what little he could grab.

Entering the living room Sirius was surprised to find it empty and disorganized. A quick glance over at the door proved that Remus had taken his coat with him when he left. Sirius mentally shrugged as he walked over to the desk. The top was normally closed against his prying eyes, but Remus had left it open this time.

His name leapt out at him from one of the papers, his hand automatically moved aside some other papers so he could get a closer look. He laughed as he remembered the time recounted in the story, though he hoped that Remus would change the names around before actually showing anyone. He was fairly certain he didn't want to pay the fine for being an unregistered Animagus, even if they fudged the dates it was still a lot of Galleons per year.

Sirius finished reading the story of their exploits and picked up another page, this story wasn't from Remus's at all. The werewolf who had written this story had been born into the Muggle world. At first the story was scary, boy gets bitten during a hiking trip. Yet as the story drew to it's conclusion it brought out some good things being a werewolf had done for the Muggle.

A pop in the fireplace alerted Sirius to the fact that he had a caller.

"Black?" Severus Snape's voice sneered. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that you're still attracted to the werewolf."

"Must you?" Sirius asked as he put down the page, "anyway, Remus isn't here if that's who you are looking for."

"Then where is he?" Snape demanded. "He knows how important this research is, and he is jeopardizing it by remaining away."

Sirius shrugged, but refused to turn around. "He went out, I'm not his keeper you know."

"Could have fooled me," Snape laughed brittely. "And how is your campaign going in the marriage department?"

"Very well," Sirius shook his head. "Thank you."

There was no reply from the fireplace, but Sirius knew it was too much to hope that Snape was gone. "And what about your campaign Snape?"

"What do you mean?" Snape shot back.

"I mean that you are also in the same predicament," Sirius turned around. "You also need an heir, especially in this uncertain time."

"I wouldn't worry about me," Snape sniffed. "There are a lot more witches willing to marry into the Snape family, than there are willing to marry the disinherited Black."

"We'll see," Sirius sighed.

Snape gave him a sneer as another head popped into the fire. "Sirius!" James cried.

"Potter!" Snape snarled. "Do control yourself when you're sharing a fire. After all, we're not all deaf like Black." With that he disappeared.

"What was the slimy git talking to you about?" James asked.

"He and Remus are doing some research together," Sirius explained. "He called here looking for him."

"And where is Remus?" James said looking around the room.

"He left," Sirius sighed. "Just took his coat and left."

"Aren't you a little worried?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Remus is a big werewolf," Sirius shrugged. "He can take care of himself."

"That's a big switch from all the worry and trauma," James mentioned. "Until he moved in with you, you were worried about him all the time."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Do you have a point you want to make Prongs?"

"Not really," James snorted. "Just thinking out loud."

"I'm not the one who's there for you to think aloud too," Sirius said a little more sharply then he'd planned. "You have a wife now."

James looked a little taken aback, "I think you need sleep, or something."

"I can't very well get it while you're occupying my fireplace, now can I?" Sirius gave him a pointed look. James gave him another look than disappeared from the fire.

Sirius sighed, he did need more sleep. He was used to getting up early, but recently he'd had to stay up late thanks to the parties. He shook his head and decided that bed was indeed just the thing for him. He glanced at the fire, uncertain of whether to put it out or not. On the one hand he wanted Remus to be able to firecall him if necessary, on the other he didn't want anyone to take a look at his apartment while he was out. He finally decided to leave it as it was, and trust Remus to put it out when he got home.

'Whenever that is.'

End Notes:

You may, or may not, have noticed that all the chapter titles changed. That would be thanks to the sites new song policy. Shrug.