A/N: I got the idea for this chapter after watching Lady Heather's Box last night. That has to be one of my favorite episodes because it does a good job in portraying Grissom as vulnerable and sexy. I kind of wanted to make Grissom vulnerable in this story. I guess I was trying to make him more human. Let me know what you think (I promise I'll have more about the forensics and more snickers in the next chapters). -Jac

Grissom's POV:

I've been awake for forty-eight hours. Ecklie asked me nicely to go home for a nap; four hours later, he kicked me out of the lab 'for my own good.' I didn't know where to go. I didn't know if I was any safer than Catherine or Sara. I went to the only place that made me feel remotely safe in the last three years.

"Mr. Grissom," Lady Heather said as she opened the door to her dominion. She didn't look surprised. She didn't look as fiercely angry as the last time I saw her. She ushered me in. I followed her silently to her private quarters. I was surprised to see her use a key to open the door. Things must have changed since our last encounter.

"Lady Heather, I've lost my balance. This time . . . I can't make things better," I said quietly as I followed her to a sofa.

"Mr. Grissom, sometimes it isn't about making things better, but about letting them cure with time," Lady Heather said with a raised eyebrow. I knew that she was talking about our relationship. I suddenly felt selfish for coming to her with my problems. She was a dominatrix, not a shrink.

"One of my CSIs was almost murdered yesterday. Since then, two innocent people have been murdered by the same man," I said as I focused my line of sight on the floor. I felt ashamed for telling her my problems, but I needed the comfort of her wisdom. I needed for her not to judge me as harshly as I judged myself.

"Gil, I'm sorry. I'm sure that you haven't lost your balance. I'm sure the answers will come with time," she replied as she gently rested a hand on my knee.

"I've lost my balance. I want to kill this guy. I don't ever feel like this about suspects. I want him to suffer at my hands," I replied with coldness in my voice that made me shiver.

"It's human nature, Gil," Lady Heather replied, "You just don't let yourself be human often enough to know that."

"He's taken away my power, and I don't know how to get it back," I said. This was the first time in a long time that I felt inadequate as a CSI . . . as a man.

"What can I do to help you?" she asked as she kneeled in front of me forcing me to look into her eyes.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do next," I replied. There were few times in my life that I wanted to cry. There were few times in my life that I remember crying. This afternoon I wanted to cry for the Morgan widow because she had everything that I always wanted. She lost it all too quickly. She lost it all at the hands of a human that didn't have any right to take it away from her. I wanted to cry for her. The fact that it had touched me so deeply scared me. This is how I always imagined Sara feeling at rape scenes. Now, I knew that I was wrong for judging her so harshly. This hurt. This hurt worse than any other hurt I had ever felt.

"Do you want me to show you what you need?" she asked me. She rested a hand against my cheek like I did to her so many years ago. Despite my inadequacies as a man, there was still something there. There was still something that made me want to get lost in Lady Heather's eyes . . . get lost in her body. From the look in her eyes, I think there was something that made her want the same.

"Please, Lady Heather," I replied. The reply edged on being a panicked plea. I wanted things to get better. In my exhausted stated, I was ready to hold on to whoever would throw me a lifeline.

"You need to sleep, Gil. In the morning, your mind will be clear again. In the morning, we can have tea on the veranda and pretend that power isn't an issue," Lady Heather said as she took my hand and guided me to her bed. She slowly stripped me of my jacket. She began to unbutton my collar.

"You scare me when you're like this," Lady Heather said as she stripped me of my shirt. She talked me as if my mistakes were washed clean. Lady Heather was good at pretending that I hadn't royally screwed up so many years ago. She was good at pretending that I didn't haul her off to an interrogation room just to prove that I had the power to.

"How so?" I asked.

"Because you are human. It was easy for me to take comfort in the fact that you kept all your emotions at bay. It was easy for me to pretend that you came here for banter rather than a search for equilibrium," she replied as she slowly pulled my shoes and socks off my feet.

"Lady Heather, I think of you when I feel this crazy," I replied.

"Why do you think of me, Gil?" she asked.

"Because last time I felt crazy, you gave me the equilibrium that I needed," I replied. She smiled obviously pleased with the fact that she had that power over me. I cursed myself for thinking that way. There was a part of me that hoped it made her happy that I still cared about her . . . that I still needed her.

"I'll give you equilibrium, but you have to promise not to interrogate me," she replied.

"I promise to be better behaved this time," I replied.

"Good because in sustaining your equilibrium, I get thrown off balance," Lady Heather replied as she helped me into bed. I could feel her hands gently rubbing my back. She would occasionally whisper in my ear. I didn't hear the words, but the tone of her voice comforted me. It made me feel balanced again. I drifted into sleep with a new found sense of equilibrium even if this guy had the power to kill more people. I was determined to get him and make him pay.