Sin

I suppose now we can assume that I can and will finish just about everything I try to. This is the last chapter of Sin, after running through and re-writing the whole damn thing. For those of you who have been waiting for this chapter since the first draft, I beg you to go back and read it over again. I fixed... just about anything I could see wrong, added detail, fixed characterization, added stuff, etc... The entire thing is much, much better now. And when I'm done, I'm gonna go post it in the FMA LJ community and become POPULAR! XD

I hope everyone is satisfied with the ending!

Chapter 10 (Final)

Could you live on, forgetting that you really aren't a part of this family?

Sin contemplated in the silence of the night as he ran his hand slowly along the back of the couch where he had spent the past few weeks sleeping. He was already familiar with the spots that creaked, and the most comfortable positions to lay. He had grown used to this place.

He stared behind it at the pictures that hung on the blank white wall, seeming lonely somehow. They held the image of a man who no longer existed - a man that people wanted him to be.

He was tired of debating so hard about the situation. He wanted the conflict to be over, the decision chosen and over with, so he wouldn't have to split himself over it anymore... but he doubted he could do it on his own.

If he stayed, he could be happy. Gracia and Alicia would be happy. He could help with cooking and other chores. He could get a job and help pay for Alicia's education. He would have to learn how to read and write himself, but who knows if Roy would ever be able to drag himself from his empty house if he stayed? Edward would never let him rest in peace.

If he left, Roy and Ed would be happy. And maybe Hughes...

No matter where his thoughts chose to go, it always ended up boiling down to the opinion of a man who was dead.

Sin sighed quietly, leaning up against the back of the couch. He streched his legs out in front of him and folded his hands on his lap as he continued to speculate.

The more time he spent in that house, with those girls... the less he wanted to actually leave.

"Are you still awake?" Sin turned to see Gracia standing in the doorway, dressed in a housecoat and looking at him with sincere concern. "It's late, you know..."

"I know..." Sin replied, returning his gaze to the pictures. "I couldn't sleep."

"Oh..." she said quietly, moving to stand beside him. "Maybe you should try sleeping in the bed tonight? I imagine it's much more comfortable than the couch."

Sin shook his head slowly. "It isn't uncomfortable, I just have too much to think about."

"I understand," Gracia said, closing her eyes solemnly as she nodded. "I can only imagine what must be going through your head after what's happened these past few days. They've been stressful enough for me - I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through."

"Yeah," was all he said, sighing and staring at Hughes.

Gracia followed his eyes. "I refuse to believe what Edward-kun says..." she practically whispered, inspiring Sin to turn to look at her. "...that you have no soul. I could never imagine something like that being as kind and sweet to us as you have these past few weeks. I can't believe that... I won't."

"But it is true," Sin said, glancing back up at the picture. "There's a hole inside of me. You make me as happy as I think I could be, but there's something missing. Those feelings roll over that hole, which makes me feel it..." Sin paused to cross his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good with words, but... If what that boy said was true, that hole is where Hughes and his memories should be. It's where his joy would be. It's a place I can never go."

"...But you're happy here..." Gracia asked, tilting her head slightly to look up at him. "...aren't you?"

Sin nodded hesitantly, not looking at her. "I am."

"Then... stay here with us," she said. She moved forward, intruding on more than his perpheral vision as she placed a hand on his arm. "Even if you left... what would you do with yourself?"

"...I haven't really thought much about that."

"Stay here, and I'll take care of you," she said, shuffling closer to him, making Sin feel embarassed.

Gracia was beautiful in a way that a lot of people couldn't notice. Her face was round, making her smile more charming, and helping her eyes to glow when they squinted like they did. Her hair was short, but soft. She was a wonderful woman, the perfect wife and mother; but most of those walking past her on the street wouldn't think her worth a second glance. However, when you were given a chance like Sin had to sit and admire her for weeks at a time, she makes a little hole in your heart that she curls into, that can't be filled by anyone else, leaving you feeling warm, welcome... and needed. She was compassionate and kind. Loyal.

Which was why she could only possibly find her heart beating over another Maes Hughes.

She had barely pressed her lips to Sin's when a million thoughts flooded through his brain, leaving a striking impact on his mind.

He was not Alicia's father.

He was not Gracia's husband.

He never could be, because he was not Hughes.

It hit them both at the same moment, and he held her shoulders and pushed her away. He could see it in the wideness of her eyes before she averted her gaze; she finally realized the truth as well.

"I can't stay with you," he said quietly - but clearly.

She nodded slowly, not looking up to him - denying the resemblance to herself. She knew it down to her core that he was not Hughes, but she had let herself... forget... After all, the only physical differences were the eyes, and the small tattoo she had spotted on the small of his back. "I know..." she whispered, looking as if she was about to cry over her guilt.

And that was all there was to it. He embraced her, hugging as tightly as he dared. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back, her fingers trembling. When they released, she stood in place as he stepped carefully around her, making his way to the front door.

He stared down at Hughes' shoes for a long moment before resolving that he had taken enough from the man. It was bad enough that he was wearing his clothes and kissing his wife - he could go without his shoes. Disgusted with himself, he tore his eyes away from the home he had almost begun to think of as his own before opening the door and escaping out into the cool night, onto the front step in his sock feet.

Roy had been waiting for him on the street, staring away from the house, but standing at the end of the walkway. When Sin came out, the Brigandier-General was no less shocked than the former was, and he bristled tensely in his blue uniform. "...I... need to talk to you..." he said, his words very slow, but clear and smooth nonetheless.

Sin acknowledged with a nod, not saying a word as he walked out to meet Roy, and he let the Brigandier-General lead the way.

He had almost been expecting to hear less than silence out of the one-eyed Brigandier-General; and he was actually flattered that he was being permitted in the man's prescence. Sin was completely unaware of where they were going, but he instead chose not to care. He was furious with himself - or at least as furious as a soulless being could possibly be. He had been less than a second away from taking over a dead man's life - taking away his daughter and his wife and claiming them for his own. How could he have come so close to doing such a thing? He didn't even have a real name for god's sake! He would never be half the man that Hughes had been; that man had created himself a paradise of a home, and had barely been given the time to actually enjoy it. Sin would never be able to love as much, or hate as much or care as much. He would never be able to be human. He never could have lived like Hughes.

By the time Sin was finished walking with Roy, he was going to leave this place and never look back. He would look for Wrath and find a good family for the boy - maybe even leaving him there with Gracia...

"Hughes was my best friend," Roy spoke suddenly and softly, startling Sin out of his whirling thoughts.

"I saw your pictures," Sin said quietly.

Roy was silent for a while, "...that doesn't help me much."

The Brigandier-General was a little awkward speaking to him, but it was in a slow way, his voice never wavered or shook. They finally strayed from the street and walked up a hill through the damp grass - moistened with the rain that had been coming and going since the sun went down that evening. His socked feet were freezing, but he said nothing.

"We met the same day I became a Nationally Certified Alchemist. He simply came up to me in particular after watching my exam and complained about how I had managed to become a Major right away, surpassing all the hard work he had put into the military. I just told him to work harder." Roy hesitated, sighing softly. "In Lior, I was forced to kill hundreds of people - because I was an Alchemist working for the military. With the snap of my fingers, people would die. Innocent human beings would be gone forever because that was what I was ordered to do. It was my job: I had to. That was what I tried to tell myself, at least." Sin could almost hear as Roy swallowed. It was hard for Roy to talk to Sin at all, and the homunculus felt somewhat guilty about it. The Alchemist would probably appreciate hearing about the conclusion he had come to. It was only now that Sin finally noticed they had been strolling through a graveyard in the dark.

"I couldn't handle it," Roy continued at length. "I wanted to bring them all back.

'Human transmutation' was becoming the key phrase of Sin's entire life. A stiff chill was crawling up through his body from his cold, damp feet, but he continued to follow Roy silently.

"It was Hughes who stopped me. He convinced me that it was a stupid idea, and told me to fix the problem in another way. So instead, I strived to become the Fuhrer in order to get into the government and fix it from the inside out. Hughes was the one working under me to drive me forward from that moment on... But he was shot when he discovered dangerous information, and he was buried several ranks higher than I was." Roy slowed to a stop, refusing to look back at Sin. "It was ironic, really... He probably wouldn't have allowed it, himself."

Sin discovered then he couldn't move any more if he wanted to. They had reached the resting place of Brigandier-General Maes Hughes, and the stiff chill Sin had blamed on the cold had clutched his entire body into a trembling mass, caused by the body of his predecessor that lay six feet below.

And he couldn't move.

"I apologize," Roy said softly, hanging his head and still facing the other direction.

"Contrary to popular belief, alchemy is not based on equivalent trade," Sin could hear Ed's voice come from behind him. He hadn't seen the blonde when they had come up there, and he couldn't get his body to move to turn to see where he had come from. His sight was frozen on Hughes' name.

"Your 'ressurection' caused many people their lives, and questioned the meaning of Hughes' death. I can't exactly blame you for your own existance..." Ed trailed off for a moment as he finally appeared within Sin's field of vision, turning to face him. Ed was standing next to the headstone, a gun hanging akwardly in his hand. "...but just because I can't blame you, doesn't mean I can let you go on existing. I can't even blame Alicia for what she did to those people across the gate - I did the exact same thing she did. I was lucky to find her when I came back through the gate. That's where you belong." Ed closed his eyes and took a breath, steeling his features before looking back up at Sin. "I had to kill the mother I tried to bring back to me. I know what it's like for a child to lose a parent, but she won't kill you. I have to do it for her. I can't let you replace Hughes. It's a miracle you got this far to begin with."

"I..." Sin shuddered, grunting words through clenched teeth as he struggled to will himself to move. "I had... been... leaving..." Somehow, he managed to relax himself long enough to bend his knees, falling forward into the grass. Roy had long since walked away, but Ed watched the homunculus solemnly.

"I wanted... to... but I know... I can't... replace Hughes even... if... Gracia and Alicia... managed to accept me..." He placed his hands into the damp grass, tremblings to release his own locked limbs as he accepted his fate. "But that's... because... I just couldn't... accept... myself..."

As he kneeled there, folded over with his head down, on his hands and knees, the sky opened up and brought the rain again. Off to his right, Sin almost thought he heard Roy stifle a bitter laugh.

"Rest assured, I have nothing against you," Ed said. Sin could hear his arm shift as he raised the barrel of the gun. He could feel his hair move around it as he pressed it to his head. "It's only what you are. I'm sorry it had to be this way." He hesitated for a long, painful moment. "What could I call you?"

"Call me... what I am..." Sin said, sucking in air rather violently between his teeth, his jaw still clenched in his paralysis. "I have... no... name..."

"...Farewell, then."

In his condition, there was no way Sin could protect himself from the gunshot. But the sound managed to drown out the one thing he could have called his name.

"Mama," Alicia asked, peering around the house as she came into the kitchen, where Gracia was making breakfast. "Where's Papa?"

"Oh, Alicia..." Gracia sighed sadly. "He died, remember? Six years ago."

"Mama!" She whimpered a bit, pouting. "I mean... my new Papa."

Gracia still hadn't turned to face her daughter, and she just chose to give up the verbal fight that might have gone on for quite a while. "He's gone, sweetie."

Alicia stared in silence for a while. Gracia couldn't stand the thought of turning and seeing her face, so she just focused completely on mixing the eggs she was cooking for breakfast, although she knew neither of them would have the stomach to eat anything.

At length, the ten-year-old finally spoke. "...Where did he go?"

"I'm not sure, honey." Gracia's heart was pounding. What in the world was she supposed to say...?

"...When will he be back?"

"I don't know."

Alicia was smart for her age. She knew alchemy. She had even performed human transmutation. But she couldn't think of a single thing to say before she managed to lose her will and spin on her heel, running through the house and out the front door.

Gracia sighed and wiped a tear with the back of her hand... But at least she knew her daughter would be coming home.

Alicia ran for as long as her young limbs could take her, and even then she walked until she could run again, tears streaming down her face. It had worked! She had brought him back to her! Somehow she knew all along she wouldn't be able to reap her own rewards. Now he was gone, and she was sure he was dead - she could feel it.

Now both her Papas were gone, and she knew she wouldn't be able to go through it all again - she had died, after all.

So she ran to the only place she knew where to go. Off the street, up the hill... through the graveyard... And she collapsed against his headstone, wrapping her arms around her father's name as she finally unleashed her emotions, trembling with sobs as a sea of multi-coloured butterflies surrounded her. She wailed out all of her despair as she choked on her own tears for her father. She couldn't quite remember the person he had been when she was four, but she was now crying for them both.

Behind her, curled in the branches of a tree, a pair of violet eyes observed her with weary concern; auto-mail gleaming as the sun emerged from the clouds.

Did you like it? Did you? Really? Truly? Tell the truth! This last chapter took sooooooo much out of me. So yeah, that's it! That's the end! And actually, I had been plotting that little Wrath bit at the end from the beginning. There are a few things that were never wrapped up that I might tie in later if I can figure out how to do it well.

Ed and Al forgive each other just fine, and the two make up for lost time, never mentioning this incident ever again.
Roy takes another week or so off to sulk, but manages to get back to work, dragging the rest of the military-people with them.
Armstrong still doesn't know exactly what happened, because nobody wanted to talk about it anymore.
Sheizka and Winry go home and have hot lesbian smex, because I didn't have any pairings in this fic!
Gracia and Alicia just go on with their lives, until about 10 years down the road when Alicia and Wrath get married and have a thousand kids! Alicia has an inkling that Ed had something to do with Sin's disappearance, and never really forgives him for it.

...I LOVE YOU GUYS!