Sherkoni - Curse ye long updates! I WILL conquer you! . ; Yeah, anyway, I'm sorry for the long update. And I'm not even working on my other stories. o.O;

Anyhow, plez enjoi.

Chapter 6

Because Of You

Gravity tugged mercilessly as Hiei's feet finally began to slow against the grass until he finally came to a stop on his knees. With a sharp inhale of breath, he pushed his hands through the roots of his hair. He stayed frozen with his hands on his head and his body bent over until his breathing regulated to it's normal pace.

With each shaky breath, his emotions began to sink farther and farther away from the surface, where they belonged. Finally, he straightened his back and moved a hand over his mouth as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

He kept his hand over his mouth and breathed through his fingers. He hadn't lied to Botan when he told her he'd kissed people before. But never had a kiss affected him like that. Through the years, he had made sure of it. But why had all of his hard years of emotionless blocks crumbled in no longer than four days?

It scared him. He sighed kicked a leg out in front of him, using the other as a prop for his arm to rest on. He leaned back onto a tree, tilting his head back in thought. Had he really gone so long without intimate contact that one kiss would send him reeling emotionally and passionately? No, he had felt desire before. Or he had thought he had, but nothing had ever compared to what had just happened to him.

Was it Botan? He let out a bitter laugh. He didn't like Botan. She was weak and for all the millenias she had been alive, amazingly naive and oblivious. But the more he contemplated it, the more he realized that was why he.....liked her. She had been there for so long and still hadn't been corrupted by the horrors and misery of the world. For living right next to hell, she could still maintain hope and optimism.

He suddenly bolted to his feet as the familiar feelings rushed up from his confined box to hit him right between the eyes. His breath quickened again and he felt the urge to run again; very fast. He forcefully swallowed the lump in his throat, as if it would somehow get rid of the fear and tangible fluttering in his stomach.

He had no sooner crouched to sprint, when an idea passed through his head so vividly he almost thought there was someone else there with him. It IS Botan. You have feelings for her...

"No!" he shouted into the forest air. His eyes widened as he began to shake his head in defiance to the small voice. He took a few stumbling steps backwards until his back hit a tree. He spun around and clutched the trunk with one hand, pressing his forehead into the rough bark. "No!" he repeated, but considerably quieter. With a frustrated groan, he pounded a fist into the tree.

And again, and again. When the tree's entire right side was in ruins, he turned around and pushed his back against the massacred trunk. He bit his knuckles to keep from screaming again. He swallowed a shaky hiss of breath and sunk to the ground in hopelessness, his back running down the rough bark.

With a defeated groan, he buried his head in his arms. It was just so damn stupid! He wanted to just permanently remove Botan from his life; it would be his pleasure to run his sword right through that pretty little neck. When he tried to play the scenario through in his head and realized he would never be able to really do it, the truth settled in full force.

He felt confused and frustrated, but in the midst of it all, happy and relieved. Feeling emotion take over him again, he felt surprised to hear a soft chuckle escape him. He continued to chuckle, until he started laughing. And laughing. He laughed in loud, clear bursts until his sides hurt and he was sure he would've put to shame even a fool like Kuwabara.

Botan was starting to feel anxious. She had fixed up the room, washed her kimono, fixed her hair and ate a 'room service breakfast' and Hiei still wasn't back. She tried to convince herself that her fear was being alone in the Makai, but truth of the matter was, she was worried about Hiei's safety.

She was really starting to wish she hadn't broken her oar when she heard the soft click of a door opening. She rushed towards the door and nearly let out a squeal of joy when she saw Hiei slowly shutting the door behind him. "Hiei!" she breathed, surprising even herself with the relief in her voice.

His eyes snapped upwards at the sound of her voice. For a moment, he just stared at her, a distant glazed look in his eyes. She blushed slightly, feeling uncomfortable. "Are you alright?" she asked softly, still staring at the floor. When she didn't get an answer, she looked back up to find a distinct sadness had entered his eyes.

"I'm fine," he said in a flat tone, before turning to walk past her. Botan watched him go to the side of the bed and pick up his sword, securing it to his waist. She bit her lip nervously. Her talk with Keiko and Shizuru had made her comfortable with the kiss. Comfortable enough that she could simply look at it as a sweet, little memory and now they were better friends. But now she felt stupid for assuming that Hiei would be thinking along the same lines; as obvious as it should have been.

Did he think she was some type of ditzy schoolgirl? Her stomach did a backflip just thinking about it. Perhaps if she acted like it was nothing, he'd do the same thing. Forcing a small smile, she bounced onto the side of the bed. To her dismay, Hiei didn't even seem to notice. Determined not to let it deter her, she continued. "So....I haven't asked you a personality question for awhile." When she got no response, she continued anyway. "What's your biggest fear?"

His eyes hardened so quickly, she almost regretted asking it. She was about to correct herself, when he answered, "Spiders."

Botan's jaw dropped. "But...." She stopped, realizing the bitter sarcasm of his confession. She doubted he had ever even given two seconds of thought to the eight-legged bugs. As annoyed as she was, she had to admit his cleverness. It was an exagerrated enough answer that she knew he was lying, but he had given an answer and she no way of proving it wasn't true. She forced her voice to calm. "Okay, spiders it is."

Again, he made no response as he moved towards the door. "Aren't you going to ask me what my biggest fear is?" Botan suddenly asked, unable to hide the slight edge of annoyance.

"Why would I?" he asked boredly.

"Because," she said as if it were obvious. "You're finding me a boyfriend, too .....remember?"

His icy expression said it all. Botan suddenly felt like a mouse next to a dinosaur. "O-Oh..."

He then surprised her when his eyes softened and his mouth tilted slightly. "Maybe I'll keep looking somewhere else. You're too good for Makai."

Botan felt warmed by his statement and couldn't stop shy smile that appeared on her lips. But then she remembered, and it oddly made her feel sad inside. "You're from Makai, though, Hiei."

His eyes got that sadness in them again and he quickly looked away. "Yeah."

Botan frowned. Then she got an urge to do something she had never felt the desire to do before, although she'd had plenty of opportunities. She wanted to comfort him. Before she could question her motives, she rose to her feet and walked over to him.

His eyebrow raised, but before he could say anything, she placed a hand on his cheek comfortingly. His eyes widened in surprise, and for a fleeting moment she thought he would run. But he didn't and Botan smiled. As before, her eyes glanced briefly to his lips. She felt a fluttering sensation in her stomach, but this time, deciding to follow Shizuru's advice, she purposely leaned towards him.

She watched as his dark lashes fluttered a few times before finally settling closed, his hand coming up to wrap around her's on his cheek. Her lips were only inches away from his expectant ones when a muffled beeping noise came from inside her kimono.

Botan snapped her gaze down to her pocket. Hiei instantly released her hand and took a step back. His face grew hot and he brought fingers to squeeze his eyes shut, as if he had a headache.

Botan couldn't help feel disappointed as she snapped open her communicator. Koenma's digital face appeard. "Koenma, sir?"

"Yes, hi, Botan." The toddler folded his hands together. "Sorry to interrupt your, er...test, but there is a woman here named Gizelle. She says she's sorry, but she came early and she requested to see you. Is this important, or shoul--"

"Oh no!" Botan groaned, placing a hand to her forehead. She ignored Hiei's questioning glance. "I have to talk to her Koenma! But my oar is broken!"

"Don't worry," Koenma said. "I can have one placed in the proper dimension. Give it a minute and then all you'll have to do is summon it."

Botan grinned. "Thanks, Koenma! You're one in a million." She closed her communicator and looked at Hiei. "We have to leave early."

"What a shame." Hiei rolled his eyes and she was reminded of his old, cynical self. He walked over to one of the plush armchairs and sat down. Botan followed his example and sat on the bed.

"It'll be minute though, for Koenma to place the oar there..." she murmured to break the uneasy silence.

"Hn."

Botan sighed and placed her chin in her hands. She couldn't help but feeling a little dismayed at having to leave 3 days early. But if she missed Gizelle, the whole thing would be for nothing. The thought of seeing her, brightened Botan's mood a little. She would have accomplished her goal, Hiei would have.....a soulmate. Her heart fell to her stomach and the small good mood fell with it.

"What's wrong?"

She jumped. Was she that readable? "Nothing," she lied quietly. "I'm fine."

Hiei didn't question her answer, but for continued to frown and stare at her with scrutinized eyes. "You want to stay longer," he guessed. It wasn't a question.

Botan blushed embarrassedly. She chose to stand and summon her oar instead of answering. She hopped on and avoided Hiei's demanding glare. "Come on, get on."

Hiei stood slowly and walked to the oar and Botan could feel his hard stare on her the whole time. She continued to stare at her hands. When she felt his weight on the end of the oar, she created a portal right in the hotel room and flew through it.

They broke into Spiritworld Realm and she quickened her pace. As they flew upward toward the palace, she felt it only fair to warn him. "Hold on."

She gasped as she felt two hands grip her waist; hard. She grit her teeth and tried to ignore it. Why was he so angry? He seemed to be mad she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, as if her pain made him angry.... But that was stupid.

She flew into the palace gates. She entered into the hall and hovered above the ground, trying to make it obvious she wanted to be released. Instead, Hiei hopped off the oar - taking Botan with him. She tried to hide her surprise as she felt herself being lifted and pulled to the ground. Hiei placed her in front of him and Botan tried not to blush when she felt his hard chest against her back. It was pretty clear he wanted her to state her distress....

But how could she tell him she didn't want him to get a soulmate because......well, she didn't even know! "Hiei, will you please let me go?" She was amazed at how calm her voice sounded.

Hiei released her without hesitation. She expected some type of harsh retort, but the last thing she heard was a soft swish of wind as he zipped through the halls. She gave a loud sigh of relief and turned to jog to Koenma's office. She knocked dutifully and was answered with Koenma's, "Come in."

She stepped in and grinned when she saw Gizelle perched in perfect poise by Koenma's desk. "Botan, love," she greeted with a smooth smile.

Botan grinned. "Hello, Gizelle..." She wondered what to say next, but she didn't have to.

Gizelle stood gracefully to her feet. "I suggest we go have a little talk. How about in your room?"

Botan nodded, grateful that Gizelle took a hold of the situation so she wouldn't have to explain things to Koenma. After they were in her room, more like a tiny apartment, she moved to the fridge and glanced in it hungrily. "Do you want something to eat, Gizelle?"

"No, dear. I am only hear to here about this young man you wish to find a soulmate for."

Botan swallowed the sick feeling she got and smiled. "Okay...."

"So which one is it?" Gizelle questioned. "I know Kurama and Yusuke, but what's this Hiei of yours like?"

Geta stood over the kitchen sink, arranging long-stemmed roses in a large crystal vase. She tried not to look surprised at Gizelle's words. Finally, she sighed determinedly and turned, smiling lightly.

"A walking contradiction."

Gizelle took a seat at the counter and gave Botan a playful smile. "My, isn't that descriptive."

"Well . . ." Botan tilted her head to the side, eyes dancing with amusement. "Tell me what you'd like to know."

"Is he nice?"

The diety suppressed a smirk. Catching sight of Gizelle's puzzled expression, she replied, "Yes, at least in my opinion—though I doubt he'd want 'niceness' to be one of his better-known qualities."

"I suppose it does sound rather ordinary," Gizelle said thoughtfully.

"Hiei is anything but that."

Gizelle took Botan's arm, leading her away from the flowers. "What do you think of him, then?"

Botan considered this quietly. "Like I said, Hiei is different," she replied slowly. Her eyes grew gentle as she spoke, their vivid pink color fading to a softer, warmer hue. "He's very proud, very bitter . . . he seems a simple person to understand, and yet he manages to surprise me time and time again."

Gizelle peered inquisitively at the ferry girl's distant, almost nostalgic expression. "A complicated young man, I take it."

"Only in some respects," Botan murmured. "I am certain of his strength and his honor. I think those things are what he values above all else. Along with his pride, that is."

"I would respect someone like that," Gizelle said. She thought it sounded as though Botan were forcing herself to speak objectively.

Botan closed her eyes. "I do respect him—I would trust him with my life, and more. I don't deserve such loyalty.....from him."

Gizelle reached up, smoothing Botan's hair with gentle hands. "Oh, don't look so sad, love. I shouldn't have asked, it was obvious from the start."

The diety stared at her, startled. "What do you mean?"

Gizelle walked past her to bend over the sink full of roses, murmuring, "These do smell lovely."

Botan's gaze followed her. After a few moments, she seemed to relax. A rueful smile crept over her face. "You truly are a love Guru..."

"Hey! Hiei, I didn't think you'd be here...." Yusuke retracted his steps and turned into the room the fire demon was seated in. The fire demon hardly lifted his eyes to acknowledge him.

"I thought you were--"

"I was," Hiei interrupted before Yusuke could even say it.

Yusuke fell silent, at a loss of what to say next. "Why the early return?" he questioned casually.

Hiei snorted. "Don't ask me."

Yusuke's lips curved mischievously. "Wanted to stay longer with Botan?"

The glare Hiei shot at him was enough to drive him to silence and take a step backward. "Um....I think, I'll leave you with your thoughts," he muttered apologetically before retreating out of the room.

Hiei sighed and stood to his feet. "Why am I still here..." he grumbled to himself. He ran a hand through his hair and walked slowly out of the room, preparing to go..... He froze in realization.

In a flash, he changed directions towards Koenma's office. He threw open the doors, growling to himself, half in confusion and have in anger. As the toddler prince raised his head to look at him, Hiei pointed a demanding finger at him. "Why haven't you left, Hiei?"

Hiei dropped his hand and folded his arms across his chest. "Why else would I be here?"

Koenma look confused. "Come again?"

"Don't you remember?" Hiei feigned innocence.

Koenma was starting to look nervous. He coughed uncomfortably and attempted to straighten some stray papers. "Eh....well...."

What had been a definite suspicion before was starting to become more and more obvious. "What did Botan say?" Hiei narrowed his eyes.

Koenma stared at him, obviously trying to find some kind of clue to what he was talking about. Finally, he slapped his hands down on the desk in exasperation. "Hiei, what in Kami's name are you talking about?"

Hiei quirked an accusing eyebrow. "Well since we left so early, I suppose we'll have to go back for another three days."

Koenma chewed thoughtfully on his pacifier, glancing at the floor and then back at Hiei, apparently trying to choose his words carefully as it was becoming clearer Hiei knew something he didn't. "Why would you?"

Hiei stared at him for a few moments before his face hardened angrily. "Damn," he muttered, running a hand over his face. Koenma opened his mouth to question his actions, but Hiei interrupted. "What the hell is going on?!"

Koenma paled. Now he knew he had blown it somehow. Suddenly, Botan and Gizelle came in through the door. "Botan," Koenma hissed. "What is Hiei talking about....?" Botan's looked over to Hiei, as bewildered as Koenma was about his anger.

Hiei ground his teeth together. "I'm guessing I passed then."

Botan and Koenma continued to stare at him blankly. Suddenly, Botan clasped a hand to her mouth. "I forgot," she muttered before she could stop herself.

Koenma still looked confused. "What test?" Botan groaned helplessly.

Hiei growled. "That's what I'd like to know."

Everyone, including Gizelle, looked expectantly at Botan. The ferry girl swallowed and wrung her hands together. "The test to see if he could live in Makai on his own now, without us watching him..."

"Oh!" Koenma suddenly remembered, his eyes going wide. He coughed. "Um...well, clearly you passed Hiei."

Hiei glared at him irritably. "There was no test."

Gizelle's eyes widened as she glanced in understanding between Botan and Hiei. Botan looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Hiei...."

Hiei's eyes widened as if he was surprised she was apologizing at all. "What?" He smirked dangerously. "I don't care. It makes no difference to me, onna. I've said enough." He turned to leave. When she tried to speak again, he interrupted her, "And so have you."

After the door slammed, leaving Botan to only stare after him, Gizelle chose to speak. "I'm guessing that was Hiei."

Sherkoni - Not much to say, except please review. n.n;;