Just Too Tempting
By Avadne
Interlude 1: Comfort
(A/N: Interlude 1: Comfort is here! Basically, a series of 260 word thought process pieces, all connected and in specific POV. It's pretty clear which piece belongs to who)
Her green eyes haunt me throughout the day, like almond shaped jewels piercing through me and my soul, seeing everything I try to hide. She doesn't even realize it, but her eyes will haunt me for ever. I can't even begin to describe them, their perfect colour, shape and depth. Their dazzling sparkle is so full of life, and it shows me a life that I have never known and probably never will.
Her dark red hair is like a deep garnet, curled elegantly at the tips. How I wish I could hold her small frame, running my hands through her elegant curls. She is a jewel in every way; her eyes are like emeralds. Her hair is a garnet. Her skin is a pearl. She is definitely a jewel, and a precious one at that.
I know I could never have Lily; it's just not right. And I can accept that it will never happen. Such a magnificent beauty like her doesn't belong with me. So I can deal with her not being mine. But if someone else was to have her… I don't know what I may be forced to do.
One look from her, one smile, even if it isn't aimed at me, can soothe all of my fears. The sound of her voice can mesmerize me into a complete comfort zone, where I have nothing to worry about. Where I can fantasize about the impossible actually happening. Where I can see myself leading a happier life, a life full of love from the one I want.
Trying so hard to keep it in check, my life is and will be forever a nightmare. I am cursed, but I don't know why. Why was it me that had to receive that fateful bite, the bite that changed my entire life before it had really begun? Why wasn't it someone else's child?
While I am this way, forever, I will always fear it. Fear that I can pass this on, that I can lose control. I no longer care for rejection; if people don't accept me, it's their problem. But I will always fear the killing of a human being. Because that's what it is; dying. A calm mask hiding the terror, silently standing while I scream inside.
I used to sit outside our house under the moon and just watch it. At my young age, I was too small to truly understand what it was, but I could still appreciate the beauty. Once, I loved it; such a beautiful sight. The night was cool yet clear, with stars sprinkled across the midnight sky. And there it was; a large, glowing orb that used to be the source of comfort.
A source of comfort; it hasn't been that for me since I was 5. And it never will be again, because even if the impossible happens and I am one day cured, I will never forget everything I endured on those nights. My comfort will have to come from something else, something more hauntingly beautiful and soothing, yet deadly to those with a curse, a curse like me.
On one hand, she's there; the one that I've 'loved' since 5th year. The one that I always wanted, but never got and the one I had to try and change for. I know her; I can read her like an open book now, this classical beauty, with her emerald eyes and elegant hair. She's my opposite, the strict one that would love me if the rule of 'opposites attract' was entirely reliable. But it may not be, so I don't know.
But then, in a different light, there's someone else. And for her, it's different. I didn't change to fall for her, to get her to fall for me. She's a mystery to me, because I know she's hiding something that's begging to be brought to the surface. But it has to stay hidden, for now. She intrigues me with her natural beauty, uptight maturity and easy grace.
Fabulous; ever since Mi came here, my heart is now torn. Being pulled into two different directions isn't easy, I assure you. Who do you pick? The one you've liked forever, strict and obedient, but you could surely loosen her up. Or do you go for the new girl, the one that just arrived and is still a mystery.
Where's my comfort in all of this? What's going to help me decide what my heart really wants? My heart already knows, actually. But my brain cannot figure it out and let me know, so I am lost. I'm lost and my comfort will only come in waiting and understanding them better.
It feels a bit odd, with her and even odder with him, when both are new to our group. Especially since he's a Slytherin, while we are all Gryffindor, because we have always been a tight group, and to let in someone new is a pretty big thing. The whole school knows it; we are famous, after all. But I am still scared, scared that in our final year, everything will fall apart.
I always knew that if something was too good to be true, than it was either not true or not going to last. So I'm ready in that way, but if it happens, I will still feel a pain that is going to be more than anything else; more than hating Mother, more than running away, more than being disowned.
In some strange way, I am sacred. I am scared that she will rip us apart. He, not so much, but she; Hermione could break us. And that's my greatest fear, because the Marauders are my only family now. So if I lose them, I won't have anyone or anything else to live for.
My fears are somewhat comforted because I suppose that they aren't a part of us in the way that we are Marauders, we are animgai. And by the fact that no girl has ever ripped us apart, not even the redhead bombshell my best friend liked for so long. That's where I'm thankful; because from day one, I knew she was all wrong for him. I saw what he was too blind to.
I cannot believe this; we're in the future. What possessed that idiot to pull him and me through the 'Pensive'? Model Head Boy behavior, I'm sure. If he hadn't done such a foolish, immature deed, we would be back, I would be with my friends and family and everything would be normal. But he did do it, so it's not all normal and it will never again be normal.
I know I'm not as mad as I make out to be. Actually, it's fascinating here. He is in a different house, but we see each other plenty. We've both been introduced to the Marauders, which is absolutely amazing. They are everything I expected, but so different to what I imagined.
Yes, I'll admit it. While I have my pride, this is something I can say. I am very glad that Draco is here with me. I'm so thankful that I'm not here alone… I wouldn't know what to do, where to go. But he helps me without even realizing, when I'm forced to keep him in check. When I have to restrain him, he does the same with me, too. He helps me stay in control.
I'll take a very small bit of comfort in knowing that here, I'm not alone. Although he is not my first choice, or even my second, he is much better than nothing. Maybe I'll tell him one day; if we ever get back to the future, I'll tell him then, on that day. And if we don't, a scary thought, I'll tell him anyway.
The consequences of these actions are dire. It's a cause and effect that I am not eager to face, one that I will never want. Whichever way I pick, I'm screwed. She knows, Hermione does; she will know what is going on, before I even speak a word. I have a bigger problem with thegroup. At the moment, I need all the friends I can get.
Why was it me? Why was I the one born into a rich, Pureblood family full of idealistic rules? Why couldn't I have been the muggle-born that was clueless, but still got to grow into my magic? But no, it had to be me, growing up with a childhood I do not care to remember, a father I do not want to think about. And now it is me that is in the dark house, engaged in a battle of belief.
While Snape gave me some useful advice, he is still a current enemy and probably an even bigger threat than Lestrange. Lestrange doesn't think. Well, he thinks, but not to such a deep extent that I know Snape is capable of. Lestrange will try to scare me with empty threats. Snape, on the other hand, will scare me with not-so-empty ones.
The only thing that I can take a slight bit of comfort in is that I'm not completely alone. She is here with me and hell, she wasn't exactly on the top 5 list, but I know she will help me if I need it. And I'll need it very soon.
End Interlude 1
There's going to be Interludes like this once every while. I think I have about 4 planned, or so. They just show random facts and feelings of the main characters. Yes, there will be major plot points here, reasons behind reasons, cause and effect, so they are pretty important
I know these are shorter than normal chapters, but it's designed that way. And no, I won't tell which thoughts are who's. You'll have to guess; choose out of Hermione, Draco and MWPP, but it's pretty easy to know anyway.
There will be a few Interludes like this in the story… each time featuring Hermione's, Draco's and MWPP's thoughts. This one was based around comfort, while the next could be anything…
Thanks to spychick989 (don't worry, Draco will also be having fun!) & s.s.harry (big thanks to you, my faithful reviewer).
Avadne