Chapter 8: Insomnia
"Phase two has begun. I've noticed that subject A has been showing signs of insomnia, and subject B has been showing signs of paranoia. It's all working out well, but there's just… something missing."
"Something missing? What do you mean?"
"I just always thought that revenge would feel… well, sweeter than it does now."
"Yuki, we do not have time for this. The Plan was not created only for your sake. No matter how you feel, you must go along with the Plan."
"And what if I refuse?"
"Then you shall suffer the consequences."
I cannot sleep. Kyo cannot sleep. Yuki cannot sleep. We have not had food for two days now. It is dreadful. I cannot sleep because of that… darn… machine. Always watching me. Mocking me. I hate the Machine, and what it's turned me into. But I also love it. It is my joy, my pleasure, my one distraction from the cruel, biting reality.
I used to be such the optimist, believing that we'd escape this room unharmed. I was so wrong. So naïve. Although I do not have the physical scars, like Yuki and Kyo will have, I have mental scars that may not heal- I may never be like I once was.
Kyo cannot sleep because he's afraid, afraid that Yuki will attempt to murder him. I know he is wrong. I yearn to tell him, to clear my own mind, to clean my filthy hands, but no. I am simply not strong enough. This is another reason why I am unable to sleep.
I don't know why Yuki doesn't sleep. He's the only one of us with no worries, nothing to keep him awake at night. He's never killed anybody, betrayed anyone, never. The only thing he ever did was defend himself, nothing more. The bastard. So carefree. I can't believe how much I've changed from the person that I used to be. I sound insane. I think that I might be insane. I've gone off the deep end. Lost my marbles. I'm off my rocker. I laugh at how completely crazy I sound. I guess I've cracked, I'm off the edge; but I just… don't… care anymore. I laugh again, as hard as I can, but it comes out in tears, wet, glassy tears. They stream down my face, while I am sitting here laughing. My face turns red, but I can't stop… laughing. I feel like crying, I feel like killing myself. But all I can do is laugh. I am such an idiot.
I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see Kyo. It makes me cry more. He's so trusting of me, but I'm just a wretched, horrible person.
"Tohru, don't cry…" he says, "don't cry or I'll… oh, I don't know. Just don't cry." I want to kill him. But I also want to hug him. He's so trusting of me, but he has no idea. He has no idea what a horrible person I've become, what a horrible person I am…
"Kyo… what if we… what if we all end up dying here?" I say, trying to give him a reason why I'd be crying and upset. Actually, I don't mind if I die. I deserve to die.
"Tohru, you're not going to die," replied Kyo. His hand tightens its grip on my shoulder, "but I'm not so sure about me…" I go cold. Does he know? Do I want him to figure me out? Or do I still want to keep it a secret?
"That damn rat tried to kill me again," he said, "he purposefully left his water bottle out. Right where he knew I'd kick it over. He thought he could make me slip and fall. Well, he was wrong. So wrong. I will get him back. Damn, I will get him back! Ha!" A burning look resides in his eyes. I don't like this…
"Kyo, you're blowing this out of proportion," I say, avoiding his eyes, "Yuki couldn't have done something like that on purpose!"
"Oh yeah? Well, he has a good reason. For one thing, he hates my guts. We both already knew that. But there's something else, Tohru…" his voice trails off eerily.
"What is it, Kyo?" I ask anxiously.
"Tohru… I think… I think he knows…"
"No, he couldn't. He couldn't possibly know. Hatori erased his memory, remember?" I am now beginning to get a bit worried…
"Then he must have figured it out or something,"
"But how?"
"I don't know… but, Tohru… he wants revenge. So he's gonna murder me for it."
"Kyo, I'm sorry, but you have to be more quiet- he's awake, you know…"
"He hasn't been sleeping?"
"No, he's got insomnia, just like the rest of us,"
"I wonder why?"
"I don't know… he's got no worries… unless you're right, and he has figured us out…"
"I hope not…"
"Shh!" I think he's coming over here…"
"Hello, Tohru, Kyo," Yuki said, oddly cheerfully. Kyo gave Yuki a puzzled look.
"Oh, hello Yuki," I say in a falsely sweet tone, tying to conceal my worries.
"So, I see you two haven't been sleeping," Yuki said, "Why's that?" I look at him strangely. Since when is Yuki so inquisitive?
"Why do you care anyway?" Growls Kyo.
"Nothing important," replies Yuki.
"Whatever," Kyo snarls back. He stands up and starts to walk towards the opposite wall. Then, he spots something on the ground- from here it looks like a small, rectangular object.
"What's this?" Says Kyo. Yuki looks at him and sees what he has picked up. Yuki, for some odd reason, looks shocked, and terrified, and rushes to Kyo.
"This looks like…" Kyo says, examining the object. I join the two, studying it.
"Don't touch that," Yuki says, oddly sternly.
"Why not?" says Kyo.
"You might get hurt… or maybe it'll kill you," Yuki says in a strange sounding way.
"What?" Kyo says darkly and glares at Yuki.
"Give it to me." says Yuki.
"No way!" replies Kyo, "Why should I let you have it?"
"Just give it to me," says Yuki, "it's for your own good."
"You know what, I don't care about this dumb thing anyway!" And with that, Kyo throws the object at the wall. Yuki looks pained and cringes as it hits the wall, smashing into tiny pieces.
"You idiot!" Yuki shrieks at Kyo, "look what you did! You destroyed my only way of…" Yuki stops mid sentence, looking wide eyed at Kyo.
"What?" Kyo inquires, looking suspiciously at him." Yuki does not reply, and Kyo doesn't ask again. But Yuki's strange behavior makes me feel a little strange. He's been so secretive this whole time that we've been here. It's like… he wasn't quite in the same boat as Kyo and I, like he was hiding something…
I look at the smashed object again. I am not positive- my assumptions are not always right… but that object looked a whole lot like a phone.
"Hello? Hello? Yuki? Yuki!"
"Hatori, what's wrong?"
"I cannot reach Yuki. The communication device is malfunctioning."
"Well, you'd better fix it quickly. Is the visual device still working?"
"Yes. Thank God something is functioning properly."
"Yuki needs to fix that phone as soon as possible, or the operation may not progress as planned."
"Our little rat will fix it. Hopefully he's bright as well as beautiful…"
"You'd better be right, Akito."