Just Too Tempting
By Avadne
Interlude 3: Loyal
Some things are meant to be. Others are meant to be accepted. Like the fact that will never have my flower. It just wasn't going to happen. Ever. Why should it? Why should she love me? There is no logic behind it, and there is no sense. So why? Although I understand why I shouldn't have her, it still hurts me everyday that I see her. But I will move on, even if it kills me.
Getting over this is hard. Moving on from such a jewel shouldn't be easy. I think the worst part is, she never knew. Never knew that apart from him, there was another man that loved her. Another man that wouldn't have gotten a chance. She won't ever know the depth of my feelings towards her.
Yes, I love her. Loved her. I don't anymore. Ok, that's not entirely true; I will love her forever. She's something unforgettable, something you can't stop loving. But I've moved on, moved on from my infatuation with her, my obsession. I must stop this thing before it goes too far.
Though I will forever be loyal to Lily, I must move on because I can't spend the rest of my life like this. I can't spend my life mourning the fact that she is not with me. I have to move on, live my life without her. I must devote myself to something else, and for now, that something else is just me and my friends. Just me and living my life the best I can, with my friends.
-
I always knew I was lucky to have such friends. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Our bond was something else, something I'm eternally thankful for. Not everyone is blessed with such people in their lives. We are friends forever, never alone. We do everything together and help each other out without even asking. It's amazingly beautiful.
While my amazing friendship with them had obvious upsides, it also had a downside. With them, I didn't get out much to other people. We were a closed clique, friends to one another, but not much association or close friendship with others. Sure, I had a few other very casual friends, but one or two just didn't count.
Although I love my friends and I would die without them, it's wonderful to get out there and meet new people that I have such a bond with. It's different with the pair, because they are new here and don't know it all. They had no one but each other, and they were in different houses, so they didn't see each other that much anyway, apart from meals and the occasional shared lesson. Even then, it was awkward, with the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry.
While they are the ones I will be forever loyal too, I can't help but feel the same with Mi. Maybe Hunter too, but especially Mi. Because she came here not knowing anyone but Hunter. And she broke out closed clique open so easily, became such a comfortable member in so little time, that I can't help but remember her forever too.
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Why is it always the new ones? Why is it always them that steal away something? In this case, she stole away my heart. No, not really. I gave it willingly, knowing I may get hurt. For her, it was worth it. Every second of being near her was worth every second of pain it might have caused.
I was always cautious about love. Never fully gave my heart, until I was sure. I spent quite a while pondering about Lily before making a move. And even then, it was all in a laugh. I knew she would never accept my offers, as long as I was me. As long as I acted like myself.
With her, it was different. I had a chance, in my eyes. But it was a chance that I was wary of. There was a mystery about the newness of her, one that held me back. A secret, it was. And it still is. And I still wonder what it may be, I await the day where she tells me.
Now I know that she is the one that I was mean to give me heart to anyway. Lily won't matter, because I have her. I have the one that I want, and she wants me back. No matter what, I'll stay true and loyal to her, like I know she will to me. Because even though I know there is a secret here in this equation, it won't tear me away from her. No matter what it is, my feelings are too strong now.
-
I was the first to know their 'secret identity'. It was more than shocking, much more. How many people find out that their best friend and his wife dies because they were betrayed by one of your closet friends? That you're framed for the handiwork and rot in Azkaban for countless years? That you godson grew up in a family that hated him, away from the magical community and his won kind?
It hurt so much, knowing there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say. Because if I did, they would be saved, but millions of others would die a slow, painful death. The wizarding world would be over the edge of disaster. It had to happen; they had to die to save others.
Loyalty is the trait of a Hufflepuff. They might have the reputation as the lower house, but they're a loyal bunch. And I would have done ok there; apart from bravery, I guess loyalty is my thing. Loyalty to the ones I love, because I never got it when I was a child. I learn it all from my friends, and not at all from my family.
Now that I know what would have happened, I will stay loyal to them while I can. Because while their story is so shocking and hard to believe, it's true. No one could make up such anguish, bitterness and raw emotion on the spot, or even practiced. It's something that cannot be faked. So from what I learn, I will stay loyal to them also and forever.
-
This always happens. I have to lie, lie to the ones I love the most. Now is no exception. I have my secret, the secret of how I got here, what I really am. But I can't reveal it yet, it's much too dangerous. Even though I would like nothing more than just to yell it out, I keep my suffering silence.
Even telling that one person was huge. Getting it off my shoulders felt incredible, but it wasn't the smartest thing to do in such a situation. It's good that he knows, but I wish it was someone else. Someone that I have even deeper feelings for. I wish that he knew.
I wait for the day I can tell him. I know it could be the breaking point of everything, of my happiness and his, but I don't care. I need to tell him in order to feel real. To feel whole, to feel like a person. Because right now I feel like a monster. A lying, cheating monster that harms everyone with even one word or one look. A monster that doesn't deserve life, let alone anything else that I have.
Until I tell him, I'll do what I can. I'll be loyal to him, and to them in every way. Except that one way, the one that could ruin everything. But I don't care, because I need him, and I'ill stay true. My loyalty won't disappear for him, ever. Even if we break, my loyalty for him will stay as whole and true as ever before.
-
She is one that intrigues me, intrigued me from the start. Her beauty is undeniable, a strange collection of odd ingredients that created something amazing, something out of a dream. And then it doubled. But even her twin won't match up; for some strange reason, no one can compare to her. No one ever will.
Ever since I first heard her captivating voice, so soft and slow, seductive yet lacking any emotion, I was mesmerized. And I knew how deep in I was, how I would never get out until the end of my life. And if hers was to come before mine, I would willingly follow, just to stay and listen.
The chemistry between us is clear and we both know it. It can't be denied. I won't contradict that she's beautiful. I won't deny that she's loyal to me. That she's an incredibly mysterious person. And I'll tell her that, as soon as I get the chance. She already knows how powerful she is, and how beautiful, but not how magnetic or effortlessly charming in her own, unique way.
She came to me. She has the respect in the Dark House, for no apparent reason to her. But she is so mesmerizing that she doesn't need a reason; her money, the purity of her blood is just an excuse. And it always was. And she stayed loyal to the house, and more importantly, to me. Never to the cause, or Them, but to me and me alone. No other person in the Dark House got such willing loyalty.
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End 18
Apologies for the lateness. Ya'll know my reasons. School is being a bitch, as usual.
Massive shout out to ShadowOnTheMoon for being my 100th review. I NEVER EVER thought I would actually reach so many reviews. Very proud!
I'm still contemplating; this may be the last Interlude… but there's a possibility there will be one more. Either way, the journey is coming to a close end. Just in case this is the last Interlude, the thought order is as follows:
1; Peter
2; Remus
3; James
4; Sirius
5; Hermione
6; Draco
Don't forget to press that shiny review button… which isn't really very shiny, as Annie just pointed out, reading over my shoulder. I guess those must be my hallucinations again. The point is, review!
Krstna, I'm yet to get to your updates, but things are a bit hectic, as always. Yeah, Sirius rocks… haha, I can't wait for your reaction of the very end. Fun
Monkeystarz, sorry about the lack of emails/reviews/general contact. Grammatically incorrect does indeed rock. Buh-bye
DarkKestrelArwenSilkeQueen, it would be quite amusing if Malfoy killed her, wouldn't it? No, but close. Just kidding. Hope you like
Surrounded By Idiots, I can handle the money… just means I'm broke for like the next 2 months. Lol. Fat guy looking at porn was creepy indeed. Thanks for the review
megafreak, also am still yet to get to your updates, which kind of sucks as I miss reading your great work. I hope Pettigrew dies slowly painfully too… oh, wait, I can make that happen! Hahaha thanks
Tween Idol, love the name, firstly. Yeah, I've apologized about the Weasley age thing, but then again, it is an AU, so I think I'm ok.
Orange Em, thank you, your comments were really flattering and nice to read. loved them, and I hope you keep liking this story.
ShadowOnTheMoon, aha, lucky reviewer number 100. Thanks very, very much. You made my day.
Avadne