Just a little kiss
Estellio
Rating: Pg-13 (T)
Summary: T'pol thinks she's in love with Trip but after seeing a kiss she shouldn't have, maybe she's wrong. I mean, how can she tell what love feels like, she's never felt it before…right?
A/N: This chappy is a little strange, that's all I'm saying. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.
Archangemon: The kiss in the first chapter, T'pol didn't see. That was just to throw you and to show you how Archer feels about T'pol (The whole, I love her, she loves Trip kinda vibe) well, that's what he thinks is going on. The kiss she sees is of this girl from the planet kissing a Vulcan and as we know, the girl is very emotional. T'pol sees them kiss and finds out that they're married therefore, meaning that the non-emotional Vulcan and the highly emotionally girl found a way to make it work meaning she's a chance with Archer for it to work. Her usual defence is (He's human, this wont work) but she's beginning to see it will work. Hope this Chapter helps.
Dennisud: Are you sure you're reading the right fic? Alternate Reality? No, no alternate Reality here. Maybe a little AU considering A/T is not cannon but…no, the visitors are not from an alternate reality. I'll give you a digital cupcake if you can figure out from this chapter where they're from, though. I hope this moves the story along a little quicker. There'll only be one, maybe two chapters. Three at a push so I think it's moving on quite nicely. There was only 4 Chapters, you didn't expect the story to be finished, did you?
Myxale: Yeah! Someone recognised it. I love that song so much, Scot Bakula has such a wonderful voice, he should sing on the show sometime
TERRY - cRaZy ItALian: (Hiss, seethe, glare.). Not at you, at paramount. Just saw Bound (Hiss….snarl, clawing motions) I'm not saying a word but I shall hiss some more and proclaim my complete and utter HATE of Rick Berman. He did this on Voyager to…evil son of a female dog… And would you believe. I own that episode about Hoshi and the alien but I've never watched it. I think I'll watch it tonight. Looks interesting.
Now that's done. Onto the fic.
IOIOIO
"Hey Trip, what's up?" Archer sat across from his Chief Engineer and friend, staring at a Padd in front of him. "Do you know the difference between Kerr pink and spuds?"
"No, what?" Trip asked, poking at his catfish with a disgruntled look on his face.
"I don't know but Chef is complaining that he was given Kerr Pink when he ordered spud. Apparently the pink ones aren't good for making chips. I don't know what to tell him."
"Tell him ta make mash." Trip said, getting up and throwing out the remnants of his half eaten fish. Archer put down the Padd and looked over at Trip who was stalking out the door. Immediately he was after him.
"Trip, hey, Commander!" Trip stopped and turned with a sigh.
"Yes, Cap'n?"
"What's up with you?" Trip heaved another sigh, levelling a mildly bored stare at Archer.
"Nothin'. Why?"
"You just look, put off. That's all."
"Well, can't a guy be put off every once and a while?" Trip snapped and stormed towards the turbolift. Archer was after him in a shot and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
"Trip, what's wrong? I'm not asking as a Captain, but as a friend. What's up?"
"God damn it…She wont even look at me anymore, Jon."
"Who?"
"I mean, one minute we're getting' along fine. Everything's goin' okay. Ya know? I'd even called her a pal. Now she can't even stand to be in the same room as me?"
"Who Trip? Hoshi?"
"Nah, don't be silly. Why, she been actin' weird too?"
"Who is it then, someone on your staff?"
"Jon, just drop it, I'll deal with it myself."
"Trip, I'm the Captain. If there is something bothering my crew then there's something bothering me!"
"Wow, those power conduits over Crewman Henley's quarters must be driving you mad then. Trip entered the turbolift and gave him a curt nod before the doors slid shut.
"What the hell was that about?" Archer entered the mess and returned to his seat. The Spaghetti which he had been looking forward to suddenly didn't seem so appealing and he pushed it aside.
"Loss of appetite, Captain?" He looked up to see the smiling face of Doctor Phlox. "Is this seat taken?"
"Not anymore." Archer sighed and immediately Phlox' ears perked.
"Do I sense a little disgruntlement?"
"Yes."
"Anything you want to talk about."
"…How can I talk about something I don't know anything about?"
"Explain." The Denoblian urged. Archer just shook his head.
"Go ask Trip, not me…Doc…You seen T'pol around?" Phlox shook his head as he picked up his fork and assumed what Archer would call a 'pouncing stance' over the plate.
"No…why?"
"Oh…she just kinda…ran off the bridge today. She was a little bit fidgety all through her shift too. She's been acting really out of character. She called Malcolm, Lt. Garren today. When I pointed it out, only joking, she nearly died of mortification. I've never seen her like this. Edgy, confused…quite frankly emotional!"
"Like Trip?" Archer paused at Phlox' observation…he was right.
"Yeah…"
"Ever think the two are connected?" Archer sat back down.
"You know what…I'll have a word with T'pol. If that fails, I'll talk with Trip and if that fails. I'll get Hoshi to talk to them. You know, the woman's touch."
"Just so you know. Remember our guests in sickbay? The ones who wouldn't let me at their Commander?" Archer nodded. "They've taken her off life support…she's still alive but there's something troubling me…she's not…well…it's hard to explain it but she just isn't there. The body is fine. It's healed at a rate I've never seen before but the mind is just elsewhere. They said she'll come back to it in time but the Andorian seems very…disturbed. Keeps muttering something about Savock…" Archer stiffened.
"What did you just say?"
"Savock." Phlox looked up. "You know the name?"
"T'pol called me that too. Several times. It's almost as if she thinks she's somewhere else." Phlox relaxed from his hunting like pose over his dinner.
"Perhaps." He said cautiously. "She is…in a way. Vulcans are telepathic. Not strong ones but the woman in my sickbay is, I can feel it whenever I go near her. Now, Denoblians are as psi-blind as humans but there is no denying it…what if she and T'pol are somehow communicating? That's where the woman's mind is with T'pol's?"
"I'll go talk to her. If I notice anything more amiss then I'll come find you."
"There really isn't anything I can do. It's up to T'pol and the Commander." Archer got back up and nodded to Phlox before taking his leave. Phlox looked at his food thoughtfully before devouring it as fast as Denoblianly possible.
IOIOIO
T'pol sat in front of her mediation candle and focused on the flame again. She had been trying to meditate for the last three hours without success. She wasn't going to stop, not now. Not that she was so close. The answers were there, she knew they were but they were just out of reach. She just had to try a little harder…
"Okay, that's it. What are you doing in my head?" The voice startled her and she looked up to see a young woman standing by her door.
"What?"
"For the last three hours you been battering no my shields like a bloody invasion fleet. Well, what do you want?" The girl walked forwards and plopped down in front of the candle gracelessly. T'pol studied her for a moment and realised it was the girl from sickbay…she just looked a lot less weary and beaten up.
"I…it's just…I seek to understand." The girl stared at her blankly.
"Understand what? You're going to have to narrow down things there for me, love."
"That's what I seek to understand."
"What? You seek to understand what you seek to understand? That's cryptic even for a Vulcan! Plus, it makes very little if any sense."
"No…love." At this the girls brows shot up.
"What? Why? I mean…why me?"
"You know what love feels like." The girl smiled and T'pol saw the image in her mind of the male Vulcan sitting at his console, looking at her, one eyebrow raised and the barest hint of a smile.
"Yeah…I guess I do. But I can't tell you about love. Like all emotion it's difficult to understand, impossible to explain and something you have to experience for yourself." T'pol paused a moment, considering how to press on.
"I believe…" She said slowly. "That I am…" She trailed off."
"In love?" The girl asked.
"I believe so."
"With who?"
"Commander Trip Tucker but I am not sure. There is so much doubt and…you are emotional and yet, you are in love with a Vulcan, yes?" The girl smiled.
"Yes, I am in love with a Vulcan, and no matter what he may tell you, he loves me too. It's hard going, the two of us attract more trouble than you could imagine. We nearly unstabilised the whole quadrant with our exploits and we've gone through hell and back for each other so many times. He's defied direct orders and I've done the insane but that's what you do when you're in love. You'll do anything for them. Hell, I'd spend a thousand years in torment just to spend a day with him, rather than never see him again. No matter what, I know he'll always be there for me and I'll be there for him. Short of a full intergalactic scandal like last time…I still haven't gotten the muffin basket Praetor Koval promised, ah well…Where were we?" She looked back over at T'pol and realised the woman was deep in her won thought. "Eh…Miss Vulcan?"
"My name is T'pol. T'pol Cha'T'less a Soval." The girl nodded.
"V'lena, V'lena Fox though if we want to get Vulcan I'm V'lena ida'Savock cha'T'val a Gabriel. Oh, that's a mouthful." T'pol and the girl nodded to one another and then T'pol asked the question she had been dieing to know the answer to,
"How does he put up with you?" The girl laughed.
"He doesn't! We're always fighting! He says I'm too emotional, I say he's not emotional enough…basically it leads to really great sex…oh god did I say that out loud?" T'pol's eyebrows climbed up to her hair line and the girl darkened in complexion. "You want to know how a Vulcan, like yourself, can put up with an emotional being like this Tucker person?" T'pol nodded. "Well…when you look at him. What do you see?" T'pol thought about this she tried to find a deeper meaning or some philosophical factor but there was only one answer.
"Trip."
"And who is he to you?"
"…He's the chief Engineer, the Commander, third in Command, The Captains Best Friends…my friend."
"I can't help but notice the pause before my friend and the fact you put it last…tell me. Who is this Captain?"
"Captain Archer?" The girl nodded.
"What do you see when you look at him? Just for comparison." T'pol nodded and spoke before she had even realised she had thought it through.
"I see a great leader, fair but firm. He's a never ending curiosity and compassion for all things and amazes me with his capacity to forgive and to forget. The Xindi killed millions of his people and yet he went out of his way to make peace with them. He's made peace with the Andorians and the Vulcans and kept it. He's saved my people from near annihilation, even though he hates us, and has excepted me into his confidence. He's a good, honest, trustworthy man who goes out of his way for others no matter what the cost. He has the complete devotion and loyalty of his crew and while he stays true to his feelings, he amazes me by embracing logic. A natural born explorer and leader and a fine Captain." When she had finished she noticed the big grin on V'lena's face.
"So…Not just Archer then?" T'pol paled. "That's what your really here for, isn't it. You think your in love with Trip but your not sure. You can't get Archer out of your head, can you?" T'pol shook her head. "This happened to me. I was head over heels in love with this man called Talen, hell, I was going to marry him. Then…on our wedding day of all days, I finally realised just how much Savock meant to me. I was going to cancel the wedding when he walks in, lirpa in hand, ahn-woon around his waist, demanding Kun-ut-kalifee. I think I burst my liver laughing and I ran to him, telling him that under the rite of Kun-ut-Kalifee, I could choose my mate to be him. Talen understood, I think he always knew but I broke his heart. When you look at Archer, you see all these things you said. When you look at Trip you just see him. Think about this…when you look at Archer, do you see a lover? Could you spend years with this man? Live with him, nurse him when he was sick, let him nurse you. Cook for him, share a house with him…share a bed with him?" T'pol looked towards the flame and for some odd reason, fought the urge to toss a lock of hair over her shoulder that didn't exist. "No one can answers your questions except yourself, look not to your mind, but to your heart. When Trip touches you…do you feel alive? When Archer touches you…do you want to touch him back. Let me tell you something…"
The woman took a deep breath.
"I met a Romulan named Shavohk when I was young, head strong and feeling like I could take over the Universe if I tried. He was pretty much the same, but a little bit wiser. He was the bodyguard of the Prince and I was the bodyguards of Governor Lavinia, the Princes intended. He crept into her rooms one night to warn me that there would be an attempt on hers and the Praetors life. I mistook him for an intruder and we fought, he pinned me to the floor, told me I was beautiful when I was angry...and kissed me." She smiled at the memory. T'pol, not quite getting what this had to do with anything, urged her on to see if there was more to the story.
"What did you do?"
"I head butted him and said thanks. That was the first time someone had kissed me in years. I was floating in heaven. He told me his piece and left and I couldn't sleep that night. I kept thinking about it. It drove me crazy. The next day, the attempt was made and the attempt was foiled. He got hurt and I felt a fear I hadn't felt in a long time. A few days later, at the opera, while we stood behind our charges, he took his hand in mind and just held it for the whole show. When we said goodbye, he kissed my cheek and thanked me. I don't know what for but once again I was in heaven. For the Six Months that the operation lasted we spent all our time together with our courting charges. Ever day I spent with him, pretending not to care, while our wards walked together, dined together, went to political meetings and all that malarkey and each night I dreamt of him. Everything they did, we had to do and we got close…he was all I had while I was there. When I had to leave because the Operation was over, I was offered a chance to stay by Lavinia, he begged me to stay with him but I had my orders and there was no way I could get out of them. I had to report back…no matter how much I wanted to take their offers" She sighed. "For months I pined for him, I couldn't get him out of my mind. We only kissed a few times but every night all I could think of was him. At the first opportunity I accepted a job on Romulus but I didn't see him. Four years later on a random mission, well within our territory, I found him and the first thing he did was try and cut out my tongue!" She laughed as if she found something funny." He had his orders too, the moment we got away he kissed me and told me how much he missed me and that's when I realised something." She stopped and looked at T'pol.
"You loved him?"
"Yes. For six months we courted, in a very odd way. I learned so much about him. He told me about how his father died when he was young, about how he suffered severe head trauma as a teen and couldn't remember anything before that, not even his father, about how his sister was getting married, about how much he hated his half brother, about how much he enjoyed sketching and dancing but rarely got to indulge. We learnt every conceivable thing about each other and it took me till that kiss to figure out I loved him and I still love him."
"But…I thought you married another? Savock? A Vulcan?" She nodded.
"I did." A small smiled played on her lips. "The mission I was on went sour, Hunter, my fellow operative, and I ran to our ship with men in pursuit, shooting at us…but the walkway collapsed and I was submerged in raw sewage. I was drowning. Shavohk risked his own life to get me out and brought met to the ship…the gangway was hit again and collapsed, sending him into the sludge. I tried to go after him but Hunter and Sumner grabbed me and pulled me into the ship. I was forced to leave him behind…"
"He died?" T'pol said, feeling her loss as acutely as V'lena did.
"I thought he did, but the truth was worse than that, so much worse." V'lena looked up at T'pol and smiled.
"I was stationed on board a Starship a year later. First Officer. At my age, you can imagine my surprise, I was way to young but…" She shrugged. "One day, when I came out of the Captains office, who did I find sitting at the science Station. Bold as Brass and gleaming in his uniform. Her sharp cut hair, clean shaven face, smooth forehead and chin, not a tattoo or piercing in sight but I knew it was him. I could have died, he was alive! I was so happy to see him and when he saw me there was no denying the elation but then reality hit. He had lied. His name wasn't Shavohk, it was Savock, he wasn't Romulan he was Vulcan, he wasn't born on Kilyar II, he was born in Shi-Kahr, he wasn't hit with a rifle in the head, he was cracked across the skull by a le-matya, he hadn't joined the Tal Shiar to get away from his step-father, he joined Starfleet Special Ops. I hated him, I wouldn't speak to him for days, I resigned my commission and refused to even look at him." T'pol raised an eyebrow.
"Is Savock not your bond mate?" The girl smiled again.
"He is. There was no denying the fact that I still did love him, even though I hated him. We worked out our differences and became uneasy friends…then we finally figured out we still did love each other and everything he had told me was true. He was a fantastic dancer and he had books upon books of sketches…He really did dislike his brother and his sister did bond that year."
"That's not logical."
"It's love, love isn't logical T'pol. That's lesson number one."
"There is more than one?"
"Number Two. Love knows no bounds. It will go beyond everything you've ever known before. It'll make you do crazy things." T'pol shook her head, an emotion would not and could not control her. "Rule Number Three, you don't choose love, it chooses you and it chooses indiscriminately. It doesn't know race, religion, age nor circumstance. You could fall in love with anyone. Anytime. Even the human captain of a Starship or an human engineer." T'pol considered this a moment.
"I am more confused than before. Which one do I love?" V'lena shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you who, I can only tell you what you need to know about figuring out for yourself…Archer's at your door. You might want to wake up."
"What?"
T'pol found herself lying on her back, the candle burnt down low, getting to her feet she answered the door chime.
"Captain." She said, placidly as she could. There was a war of emotions going on within her that she couldn't beat down. So many new and unfamiliar emotions.
"T'pol, you okay? You seem flushed."
"I was mediating. Please, come in." She stepped back to allow him in and he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"I'm here to talk to you about Trip…"
"I've taken care of everything, Captain. I have found the answers I've sought and will have resolved the matter by tomorrow. Was that all?" Archer stared at her as if she had grown a second head.
"Uh…wow. That was fast. Alright then…you sure?"
"Positive."
"You know, if you want to talk I'm here for you. In the strictest of confidences."
"I will have no need to speak with you further on this matter till tomorrow when I have reached my decision." Archer nodded once slowly.
"Decision?"
"Yes." T'pol stared at him blankly, trying to figure out if she was feeling any different that she felt around Trip, Malcolm or Travis.
"Alright then…keep me updated…that's all." She opened the door for him. "Well…good night T'pol."
"Good night Jonathan." He seemed surprised she used his first name but what floored him was, as he walked by, she said, in barely audible tone. "Sweet dreams." The door slid shut before he could say anything. He ran into Phlox shortly, down the corridor.
"Sort everything out with Commander T'pol?" He asked cheerily and Archer wondered briefly what he was doing in this part of the ship.
"…She had everything taken care of…she'd inform me of her decision tomorrow."
"What decision?"
"I've no idea?"
IOIOIO
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