Hello again! Here's the next chapter, for those of you who read my story! A special thanks to PussinBoots, my first reviewer! Thank you so much!
Oh, and be forewarned: this is rated M for a reason! It will begin to get veeeery mature in the coming chapters, so... don't say I didn't warn you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter yada yada yada yada... blegh, I'm done.
So, here it is... happy reading!
She said quietly, more to herself than Astril, "We all have our secrets."
Astril was about to open her mouth to say something when the compartment door slid open.
"Well, well, what a pleasant surprise," a familiar voice drawled. Without even looking, Astril knew who it was. Pansy, on the other hand, looked up, and her entire demeanor loosened, her mask dropping to reveal tormented eyes. In a split second, the emotion was gone, replaced by the comfortable happiness she embodied whenever the two boys were around.
The redhead would have sworn that something had inhabited Pansy's body and replaced her usual self, because she had never seen the girl relaxed like that.
"Didn't think you knew Perindon," Draco said agreeably as he sat down next to Pansy. Astril purposefully ignored him, and turned back to her own corner to be met with a pair of deep blue eyes.
"Hello," Blaise greeted, grinning at the redhead's obvious discomfort.
"Blaise, be nice," Pansy called wanly. "Or you'll be deprived for the first week." Astril had a pretty good guess as to what Blaise would be deprived of.
"You couldn't hold out on that, love, I know you too well."
Pansy listlessly allowed him pull her onto his lap.
Astril tried not to stare. They were being civil in a non-Slytherin's presence. They had to be on something. Yes, that was it. They were on something. Maybe pot… no, that was a muggle drug… moonflower? Hmm. Or maybe dragon fang-
"Got something to say?" Draco said, looking at her purposefully and breaking her out of her thoughts. "Or do you enjoy staring at me?"
Astril made sure her most disgusted face was hurriedly put on before replying, "Stare at you? Maybe you are on something." Grabbing her robes out of her trunk, she said, "Pansy, I'm changing. You can come with me if you want; it's going to be hard to clear out more than one compartment." She still couldn't forget the look on the girl's face when her mask had first disappeared.
The dark-haired girl looked up from snogging Blaise. "I usually just change here. They don't seem to mind."
"Yes, Perindon, we don't mind," Draco added. "By all means, the compartment's yours. Feel free to disrobe at any time."
Astril used the most sarcastic tone she could manage. "Right. While you perverts stand here staring at me."
"Oh no, I can assure you, Blaise is quite busy for the moment. So, you have no need to worry."
Astril rolled her eyes and walked out, uniform robes in hand.
"You might want to stop messing with it, mate. You'll only make it worse." Blaise watched as Draco rubbed his neck again.
"There's nothing to make worse, you twit," Draco said irritably. "It's like bloody electric shocks keep poking me."
"Well, maybe she needs to talk to you," Blaise said, spearing a piece of chicken with his fork and observing it thoughtfully. "When was the last time she came in your dream?"
"I don't know," the seventeen-year old said, running his fingers through his soft hair. "Not recently. Why the bloody woman doesn't talk to me normally I don't –ow! Gods damn it, I'm sorry!" Draco clapped a hand to his neck.
"Well, that's settled, then," the dark-haired boy said pleasantly. "Just toddle on down to the dormitories and go to sleep."
"Easy for you to say," Draco grumbled. "You don't have to deal with her in all her queenly glory."
Getting up from the table, he started down to the dungeons in a slow walk. What could she possibly want to talk to him about?
Yawning, Astril stumbled out of the Great Hall and down the corridor towards the bathrooms. Never again would she let herself be dared into drinking five goblets of pumpkin juice… nasty stuff, she had always thought.
Walking past a rather inappropriate portrait of a troll and a giantess, the redhead made her way into the girls' toilets, pushing open the door.
A sound rather like a sniff met her ears, followed by a somewhat weak "get out". Astril's face softened as she realized someone was crying, and padded gently over to the stall.
"Pansy?"
The girl looked up, her eyes puffy and red. Her lips were swollen with the kiss of tears, and her eyes were glassy.
"Didn't you hear me? I said get out," she whispered angrily, her voice hitching.
"What's wrong?" Astril asked quietly.
"It's none of your fucking business, Perindon!" Pansy hiccupped, burying her face in her hands. "What is it, you think just because you butted yourself into my compartment on the train, we're all buddy-buddy? Think again. No one can understand, least of all you."
"And what makes you so sure of that?" Astril challenged softly. "You're not the only one with problems."
"Oh? I don't think anyone h-has to worry about whether th-their friends will b-be k-k-"At this, Pansy started sobbing again, heaving uncontrollably. Feeling a bit timid, in case the girl lashed out again, Astril hugged her, rubbing Pansy's back and letting her cry on her shoulder. The girl didn't even try to resist, and let flow what Astril guessed was a long-hidden torrent of worry and tears.
"Shh, shh, it's alright," Astril whispered. She could feel her back and shoulder getting soaked; it didn't really matter.
They stayed like that for a long time, until with a rather watery chuckle Pansy said, "If anyone comes in here and sees this, you, Perindon, were calling me a slut, and I was knocking you to the ground."
"That sounds more like you," Astril replied kindly. Sniffing, Pansy drew back, wiping her eyes with one hand and attempting to smile.
"Sorry I got you all wet."
"It's all right," Astril pardoned. "Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to, but it can help."
"I don't know," Pansy said, rubbing her face. "It's j-just so hard. You have no idea what it's like, having death eaters for parents. There's so m-much pressure; sometimes it feels like I can barely breath. And Draco and Blaise… they don't have that, b-but it's so much worse. The dark lord wants them to fill the roles left by their fathers… he needs their power. And they, b-being the wonderfully stubborn things they are, keep refusing him, and it just makes him madder. I know they're strong, but there's only so much you can do if you've g-got an en-entire a-army against y-y-you!"
Pansy began to cry again.
Murmuring comfort in her ear, Astril gave the dark-haired girl another hug and went over to the sink to soak her handkerchief in cold water. When she came back, Pansy seemed to be attempting to regain her composure; she breathed in deeply through her nostrils, attempting to stop the bouts of hysteric hiccups bubbling from her throat.
"You think I'm a bumbling idiot, don't you?" Pansy said, accepting the wet kerchief and throwing it over her face.
"Of course not," Astril said. "You probably haven't had a good cry in a long time; I certainly wouldn't be able to hold it all in. I'd either explode, or I'd be a walking, sniveling human faucet." She rubbed Pansy's shoulder. "Everyone needs to cry sometimes."
"Tell that to Blaise and Draco," she muttered darkly. "Oh no, too manly to tell me what's wrong, too manly to let me give them a shoulder to cry on. They just keep it all to themselves, that's what they do." She blew her nose. "Selfish little prats," Pansy added affectionately.
"I think I hear everyone coming out of dinner now," Astril said suddenly. Looking at Pansy, she added, "Do you want me to walk with you?"
"I'm not that helpless, thank-you very much," she retorted, giving a watery smile.
"Good. Because I just remembered that I had to pee very bad when I came in here, so if you'll excuse me?"
Astril entered into one of the other stalls, Pansy's laugh ringing in her ears as the Slytherin exited the bathroom.
Another side of Pansy unveiled. And who is the woman that Draco and Blaise are going on about? All shall be revealed in time...