It's ok to find that cute CitrusPeach; it was a trying to help type of blackmail rather than a being mean type of blackmail :) Yay! I like you! I'm vegetarian too! Copying CDs is fun. Hope your toe is better soon.

Glad you like it EsScaper. I'll try make the chapters longer Iisjah. There's only one more in this part though.

If I knew when they were right or wrong Rose Black I'd do that :) I can speak Irish – just not well cause it's not my first language. To prove it to you here's a poem I wrote last weak. The grammer and spelling are probably crap but see if you can figure out what it's about:

Suí amach san stoirm
Mar tá brón orm.
Gearr.
Dearg ar an urlár.
Scíobh sé san 'Tarabh'
Go fuair mé marabh.

By the way sorry this update took so long. I've been busy with studying and stuff.

They were by the lake. The sun was pouring down its golden light all over the school grounds. Everything seemed bright and lively. The surface of the water sparkled like some enormous diamond. One tentacle of the giant squid appeared and waved, as though in greeting, before submerging again. Even the Forbidden Forest seemed less dark and oppressive than usual. It was a glorious day. And Severus hated it.

He was squinting as his eyes had stubbornly refused to adjust. And he could already feel his skin starting to tingle from the unaccustomed exposure to the sun's rays. The thick black robes that covered everything apart from his face felt heavy and overly warm. But even if had been observing the scene from a shady room inside he would have still experienced the same sense of loathing that he felt at that moment. Or was it envy?

The cheerfulness, the joy and tranquility made him want to scream. This summer day belonged to something he could never be a part of. He might have been a spy for the light but everyone knew - spies were not to be trusted. He had always belonged in the darkness. He'd been born into it. There had never been a choice.

'But I made a choice.'

'Too late. Not when it really counted.'

In children's stories the heroes were always strong and handsome, with wavy blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. The villains were thin and ugly, with big hooked noses - did they know how many times it had been broken? - and greasy black hair. In children's stories appearance told you all you needed to know about a person.

And after the old had sitting on his head had called out "Slitherine" no one had given him a chance. A chance to prove that in real life such judgments held little value.

A gentle breeze carried the scent of cherry blossoms.

Madam Pomphrey had brought Sirius out in an odd looking muggle contraption she called a wheelchair. It would be some time yet before he had recovered enough strength to walk around on his own.

"Well, I'll be leaving you boys to it."

'What! Where was she going?'

"I have plenty of work to attend to back in the infirmary."

'Did I say that out loud?'

"I'll be back to get you in a couple of hours. OK Sirius?"

No response, but she hadn't really been expecting one. With a last glance at the two younger men she headed back to the castle.

Black stared out across the water. He looked sick and tired, with a gaunt face and shadows under his eyes. He craned his neck to look at the blue sky.

"Nice. Warm. "

Severus gave a non-committal, unimpressed grunt.

"I remember here. Seems the same. Was it really fifteen years?"

"Yes."

These were the most words Sirius had spoken at one time since he'd been taken out of Azkaban and Snape knew he should try to keep him talking. However conversation had never been one of his strong points.

"Sometimes it seemed much longer. But now, it's starting to feel like it was only hours or days."

A pretty butterfly fluttered -past, seemingly completely at harmony with the world.

"I still can't believe they're dead."

"They are."

He didn't say anything after that. They sat in silence waiting for Poppy to return. Severus silently cursed himself for ruining everything. Then he felt confused and wondered what could possibly be going on in his brain. What the fuck was he supposed to have ruined? It wasn't like they were going to be friends. It wasn't like he had even the slightest desire to be friends with anyone, never mind Sirius Black!

'Stop lying to yourself! You want it. But now he'll probably never even look at you again because you've gone and screwed things up, just like you always do!'

Sirius lay quietly, looking up at the ceiling. His mind however was anything but quiet. Pomphrey had given him several potions, then tucked the blankets around him saying he needed rest. His gaze fell to the bottle dreamless sleep standing on the table beside his bed. 'Rest.' There must be at least twenty doses left in there. He still couldn't believe that James and Lilly were dead, that Peter had betrayed them all. Remus was still alive, or so he'd been informed. Apparently Mooney had even been teaching at the school a few years ago. But currently he was uncontactable. The last anyone knew he'd had business in Siberia. It would be weeks before any owl would reach him. 'Prongs wasn't meant to die!' To Sirius' eyes James Potter had been perfect, had been everything he'd wished he could be. He wasn't supposed to die. 'How am I meant to get through this without them? It hurts too much.' All the old pain had come flooding back. 'Stop touching me! Stop touching me!' Phantom hands trailed down his chest. 'You helped me forget once before. Now I need to again. But now I'm all alone. I can't do this on my own.' If he just stretched out his hand he'd have the bottle of potion. They said he'd been lucky. Because he hadn't completely lost his mind. 'If I'm lucky then why doesn't anything make sense anymore? Why does everything hurt so fucking much? Just reach out and take it! Dreamless... No.' He'd wait till the medi-witch had gone to bed. He couldn't risk her noticing. He'd wait. And then, while she was asleep, he'd take it.

To sleep. To sleep and never dream. To sleep and never wake up.