Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. You think I'd be writing this if I did?
Oh, and BTW: italics means thought. Now! On with the story!
Should've Stayed in Bed.
It was your typical afternoon in the Outer Senshi household:
Kaioh Michiru sat in her studio, painting a beautiful lake scene onto a piece of canvas.
Tenoh Haruka had her head underneath the hood of her Porsche, flushingthe car's engine coolant.
Meioh Setsuna typed quietly on her laptop, finishing some documents for the observatory she worked at.
And Tomoe Hotaru sat in her chair, banging her head against her desk…repeatedly.
As if my life wasn't full of enough angst. She thought bitterly, between her repeated attempts at giving herself a minor concussion. You see, life hasn't all been peaches and sunshine for the now 22 year old Senshi of Death and Destruction. Having been nearly blown to pieces by her crazy, but lovable, mad scientist biological father, along with said father getting her possessed by some crazy, psychotic alien bitch with cool hair left one with little faith in humanity. Add that to the fact that she possessed the ability to turn the Earth into ground-zero for the next Big Bang with a single drop of her Silence Glaive (and her being a notorious butter-fingers…) made her quite afraid to even go outside some days. And today would have been one of those days. She concluded her thought process with a final thump.
What god did I piss off today? She asked to no one in particular. Her day had started out well enough. She woke up, took a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast, and stole her Haruka-papa's Ferrari to drive to her 11am Advanced Biology class at Tokyo University. Just like she did every Monday morning. She even scored a seat next to the cute Spanish exchange student. It wasn't until about halfway through the class that her day began to go sour. She leaned back in her chair lazily as she recalled the events that led to her trying to inflict minor brain trauma on herself…
Earlier that day
Oh god, I hope this is the last page. Stupid biology test is killing my hand. She thought, scribbling furiously on her paper. (Buzz Buzz Ring) Her backpack, seated on the floor beside her chair began to vibrate and play Moonlight Densetsu. The sound made her jump and bang her knee on the underside of her desk. Shit shit shit! Why now of all the damn times! She looked around for her professor, hoping Mr. Wantabe didn't notice her Jansport's little song and dance routine.
"Having a friend page you with answers, Ms. Tomoe? I never expected this type of academic dishonesty out of you." He said accusingly. Hotaru watched in horror as he plucked her test paper out of her hand, and tore it in two with an agonizing (Riiiiiiiiiiip)
"But Mr. Wantabe! I wasn't…"
"I don't want any excuses from you, Hotaru, now leave this classroom and report to the Dean's office immediately." He interrupted her and pointed toward the door. Realizing the futility of the situation, she nodded numbly, grabbed her traitorous bag, and trudged toward the door with all the excitement of a prisoner headed for the electric chair.
Hotaru shut the door and leaned against it, releasing a breath. Her mortification at being accused of cheating on her test in front of the whole class was replaced by pure, unbridled rage at the sorry fool who caused this mess. She tore open her bag and pulled out her Senshi communicator, still ringing, taking a moment to bang it against the wall a few times out of spite. She flipped it open and greeted her fellow Senshi with a venomous, "What the FUCK do you want?"
Pure silence on the other end…
(Smack!) Although she couldn't see it, Hotaru knew exactly what was going on at the other end of the line. "See what you taught her? It's bad enough I hear you saying things like that! You've been a terrible influence on her!" Hotaru groaned as she heard her Michiru-mama repeatedly slap her Haruka-papa upside the head. Her Setsuna-mama's face came into view on the tiny screen, complete with a sweatdrop no doubt induced by the scene her parents were undoubtedly making.
"Hime-chan, please, watch your language, it's very unbecoming of you. I know we haven't been the perfect family, but I'd like to think that we've raised you better than that." Her Setsuna-mama said.
"Gomen, mama, I'm just a little stressed out right now. Was there a reason you called?" Hotaru never liked her Setsuna-mama's ability to put on a guilt trip.
"Ummm, yes there was, give me a moment…" She said, sheepishly. Hotaru slapped her forehead. She forgot? You're freaking kidding me. This happens all the damn time! Take some Ginkgo Biloba for god's sake mama! Hotaru could hear tiny explosions in the background. She guessed there was a youma on the loose somewhere (she could see it behind her mama's face.) She also wondered how long it would take her Setsuna-mama to remember it was there. There was an awkward silence.
Hotaru decided to get it over with. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she replied, "Youma at the park, right?"
"Yes! That's it! How did you know?" Her mama's face beamed back at her, a faint light bulb going off over her head.
"Senshi intuition, I guess. I'm on my way, Saturn out." She said.
"Okay, hurry up!" Setsuna replied. Hotaru was about to end the transmission when she heard a faint cry of "Deep Submerge!" followed by a "Michi! No more! I'm sorry! Ahhh!"
Ducking into a nearby bathroom, superman-style, Hotaru henshined, transforming into her alter-ego: Sailor Saturn, the Senshi of Death, Destruction, and Rebirth. Not to mention Senshi of the most badass weapon on the planet. She though with a smirk. She quickly headed for the roof, and soon found herself leaping tall buildings in a single bound, on her way to Juuban park.
The scene that greeted her upon arrival was nothing short of chaos. Mercury had her visor up, and was typing furiously at her mini-computer, completely oblivious to the proximity of the battle. Venus was currently hanging, ass in the air, from a high tree branch, wailing for someone to get her down. Jupiter and Mars were in each other's face, Jupiter with several burn marks on her arm, Mars with her hair standing on end, yelling something about watching were the other is aiming. Tuxedo Kamen ran around in circles, a bawling Sailor Moon in his arms, being chased by the youma. Uranus was soaking wet, and running for all she was worth, an absolutely livid Neptune hot on her heels. Finally, Pluto stood a few feet away, stiff as a statue, and white as a sheet. Hotaru then turned to the youma, getting a good look at it for the first time since she arrived.
It was about eight feet tall, and had six legs, with a hard black beetle-like exoskeleton. It had red compound eyes, and a set of rather nasty looking fangs coming out of it's mouth. It looked sort of like a giant, bipedal cockroach (which would explain her Setsuna-mama's current condition.) Seriously, these people have saved the world how many times? She asked herself. With a deep sigh, Saturn marched over to where the youma was currently closing in on the caped crusader and his superhero wife, and in her most menacing voice (not that she needed to try hard) called out to it.
"How dare you interrupt my chance at an 'A' in my Advanced Biology class! Tests are wonderful opportunities to share your knowledge with your instructor, and for you to interfere with my 4 point is inexcusable…" She trailed off, then slapped her forehead. Shit, I'm sounding like freaking Tuxedo Kamen here. "Okay, never mind all that bullshit." She pointed her Glaive at the youma, who watched her curiously. Her eyes narrowed into deadly slits. "Run." The youma blinked it's large red eyes. Then it took off as if the Grim Reaper itself was after it, (which it very well was.) What the hell? It's actually running! Wait a minute, that son of a… "Get back here goddamn it! I haven't even done anything to you yet!" And with that, she hauled ass after it, waving her Glaive menacingly. The rest of the Senshi stood watching the scene with curious interest, until the two figures were mere shadows in the distance.
Tuxedo Kamen was the first to recover. "Sheesh, talk about PMS, remind me to stay…away…from…her..." He trailed off, noticing eight sets of eyes glaring at him with murderous intent. He should have known better than to use those three letters in front of any woman. Boy was he sorry for that little slip up.
After disposing of the bug, Saturn made her way back to the park, hoping that she'd catch her parents (hopefully having conveniently forgotten her little tantrum on the communicator,) for a ride. She found her fellow comrades all gathered around a large tree, yelling various obscenities into it's foliage, and several holding pieces of what looked like black silk. Neptune noticed her daughter, and walked over to her, dehenshining on the way. "Mama, could you give me a ride back to school? I left Haruka-papa's Ferrari there." She said, noting with relief that her mother didn't look like she remembered about the communicator incident.
"Sorry, Hime-chan, but I'm afraid your papa's other car is out of commission at the moment, gomen." Michiru explained.
"But isn't that the Porsche?" Hotaru said, pointing to her papa's other car, sitting in the parking lot outside the park.
"Yes, well…the Porsche is experiencing some engine…flooding…at the moment…" Hotaru noted that her mama's gaze turned almost sinister…if only for a second. "Gomen, but we'll all have to walk home, I managed to get Mamoru's pocket, but the keys to his car must've fallen out when he jumped up into the tree." Michiru explained prettily, holding up a piece of black, silky fabric.
Hotaru slapped her forehead, and said her farewells. After a long walk back to Tokyo U. (She was too tired from running after the youma to jump rooftops.) she hopped into the car, gave the finger to the Science building, and sped off for home.
That was approximately seven hours ago. Hotaru had spent the rest of the day in her room screaming into her pillow, stopping only occasionally for oxygen. Not even her parents had dared approach her door to check up on her, (Well, Haruka tried, but the subsequent attack of flying shoes changed her mind.) Her tirade finished, she decided that the sooner she went to bed, the sooner a glorious Tuesday would arrive. She liked Tuesdays. Tuesdays were good days. Hotaru slipped under her blankets, and fell into a well deserved sleep.
17 minutes and 41 seconds later
(Buzz Buzz Ring)…Purple eyes blinked once, twice, "SON OF A BITCH!" She shouted.
Silence…
(Smack!) "You see what you taught her? I don't know how many times I had to tell you to watch your language around her! You never listen to me!" (Smack!)
"Michi! Please! I said I was sorry…NO! Don't throw that at me!" (Crash!)
END
I would've got this out sooner, but I'm hyped up on drugs for my cold, so I figured I'd be better off finishing this story when I'm sane. Anywho, thanks for reading, and if you'd be so kind as to hit the little 'review' button down there, I'd appreciate it. Thanks in advance! Peace!