Title: The Seduction of Sirius Black
Summary: Harry needs advice. Topic? "How to go about telling some one just how crazy you are for them". He goes to Sirius, who doesn't know that his oh-so-expert advice is about to be used on him...
Pairings: Harry/Sirius, Remus/Sirius (past), Remus/OC
Disclaimer: characters aren't mine, just borrowing them for a bit. Never fear, I promise to bring them back safe, if not mildly corrupted. Hehehe....
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Authors Note: Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers. I didn't really think I would get much of a response, but I'm glad to know that people actually LIKE this crap I call writing, so, yeah. If it takes me a while to update in the future, its only cause I want to make sure that the story is the best quality (IE: I cant spell to save my life and plot bunnies are evil). Thanks to the yahoo groups CanisMajor and HarryPotterSlash also! (God, I sound like I just won an academy award or smthin!) Luvs- you all! (Kisses)
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Chapter Two: Music, Movies, and Misunderstandings
(This chapter starts out in a different tone than the 1st one, but it gets better. I promise.)
That night, I took dinner in my room. I needed the time to think, and I doubted that id really be able to eat in all of the excitement I was feeling.
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"Hope you feel better tomorrow." Said Remus as he sat at the table with a plate of pasta in front of him. Sirius was bustling around the kitchen, looking for tuper-ware to put my food in so that I could bring it up to my room. I 'tutted' in Remus's direction.
"No really, I was worried about you." I hitched a brow. "Really...Fine, don't believe me. Just remember that I'm not the one who poisoned you." He looked pointedly at Sirius, who had just turned to glare at him, a big metal strainer in his hand.
"I didn't poison him." He shot back, and then turned to me. "Which reminds me, I was thinking that maybe it was the basil that you didn't agree with? Maybe I should alter the recipe the next time..."
"Or just let me cook."
Sirius shot him a dark look. "Where did you put the plastic bowls?" His teeth were clinched and I could see the veins in his right hand, due to him squeezing the strainer. He doesn't look like he's in too good of a mood
If Rem had noticed Siri's change in moods since this afternoon, he didn't say anything, although he seemed to be aware of it. In fact, it seemed as if he was almost...challenging him, egging him on. Raising a defiant brow as if to say 'You don't scare me', he raised a forkful of pasta to his mouth and said "In the cupboard" before he put it in his mouth.
Siri turned back to the cabinet. "The ones with the lids."
"The bottom cupboard." Rem smiled again, and continued eating.
Sirius titled his head and smiled tensely back at him, before ducking down to open the cabinet under the sink, emerging with a large clear bowl and a blue lid. "Did you want garlic bread?" He said in my direction, not quite meeting my eyes. I noticed for the first time that his looked a little red and puffy. He had been sniffling when he came into the kitchen, I realized.
"Um, yeah." I mumbled, twisting the bottom of my shirt around my middle finger. He doesn't seem to want to be around me /He probably just feels guilty about earlier, not to mention that huge zit on your chin. I wouldn't want to look at you either/ But how am I supposed to seduce him if he won't even look at me? And it is NOT that big! /If you follow his advice exactly, and try not to screw it up this time, then surly nothing can go to horribly wrong/ I didn't try to screw it up the LAST time, it just happened. It's not MY fault he has such a sexy head /...For the sake of both our sanity, I'm going to pretend that you were referencing to a different head. I'm also going to suggest that you get your self some help with this...and maybe some liquid cover up. / But who would I get to- DRACO!
A tap on the nose brought me back to earth for the second time that day. "Maybe we should look into getting him some ADD medication," Remus was saying. Sirius was holding out a wicker basket to me. I took it slowly. "What's all this?"
A slight flush was creeping into his cheeks. "I thought you might get hungry, if not now then later, since, you know, you didn't really eat a lot at lunch, and I didn't want you to have to come down to the kitchen late at night, since, you know, the last time you went walking around at night in the dark you fell down the stairs, and um...there's a warming charm on it, and a flask of pumpkin juice, and I put in extra napkins just in case. So...Yeah." He broke off, looking to the ground. Boy, he's really going through a lot of trouble to make sure that I'm not mad at him, when it's not even really his fault! /I say it's just as much his fault as it is yours. If he would just find some bloody shoes that didn't come untied so much, we wouldn't be in this predicament, now would we? /
I looked up at him, his emotions flickering across his face. Nervousness...annoyance...then he settled back into the sad agitated look that he'd had not five minutes ago. God, he can't be THAT upset about it! /I'm telling you, it's your face/ No, something else is bothering him...and SHUT UP!
I smiled at him when he looked up at me and I reached for a hug, which he returned strongly.
"Awwww. You two should so get married." Said Remmy, carrying his plate over to the sink. Siri reached back and gave him a swift smack to his backside, causing him to jump about three feet into the air, and yelp as suds from the sink splashed him. Siri gave me a soft peck to the forehead, then ran off just in time as Rem tried to swat him with a dripping spatula.
"COME BACK HARE YOU DIRTY LITTLE MONGREL!"
"You're just peeved 'cause you don't have a boyfriend!" I looked up, as I could hear them thudding over my head, Siri's muffled cackling rivaling Remy's angry shouts. They stopped above, a little to my left.
"IF I HAVE A HAND PRINT ON MY ASS, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOURS!"
"But I couldn't resist, its just so nice and plump!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The running resumed. I chuckled, taking the back staircase to avoid getting mixed up in the chaos. Nothing was worse than Remus on a tangent. It was nice to see them so happy, so carefree. Remus and Sirius would have been the perfect couple, that is, if they could be in the same room together for more than 20 minutes with out something like the previous stunt happening. It was easy to see how they had once been involved; they were both extremely attractive. Remus with the regal look, loose curls that were dying to have fingers ran through them, molten eyes that seemed to pierce right through you when ever his gaze settled on you. It was no wonder why no one seemed to be able to keep a steady eye connection with him during conversation.
But Sirius, he was beauty itself. Long, thick, shiny black hair that caught the light and reflected it blue. Eyes, such a deep sapphire, looking into them was like drowning in the deepest ocean, your only preserver was the thought that he would turn his gaze onto you, survey you with the same intensity, the same passion, with such love that you felt that you were drowning again. But it would be worth it, to have him look at me like that. Maybe Rem is right; maybe all he needs is someone to tame him, someone to love him. What if I was that person? /And you very well could be, but you have to get him to notice you first/
Stopping at my door, I switched the basket to my other hand so that I could turn the handle. It was time to call Draco...
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I had picked through one of the three bowls of pasta that was in the basket while trying to remember where I had put Draco's number. I flopped down onto my bead. (Where in the hell could it be?) I thought to myself. /Maybe its pinned to the corkboard with all of your other friends numbers. Unless you happen to have a separate board for extremely fuckable Slytherins/
I glanced to the wall at my right, and sure enough there was a post-it-note with the name "MALFOY" and a number on it tacked to the corkboard next to my vanity. I smirked and ran over to it and pulled it off, tearing a hole in the paper. I frowned when I realized that it was his cell number. I sighed and went over to the phone. Hopefully his cell was on. I hated it when people gave me the numbers to the phones that were never on or that they were never near. /...I'm not going to tell you what the obvious reason for that is.../ shut up, my friends do like talking to me
I had dialed the number and was growing increasingly more agitated with each ring, until finally he picked up.
"Hello?" He said brightly. He sounded a little breathless.
"What took you so long to answer?" I said, a little more harshly than I intended to.
"Well sorry that my life doesn't revolve around sitting next to the phone waiting for you call! Besides, it took me a minute to realize why my pants were vibrating around the floor."
"Why don't you have your pants on?"
"...So how have you been?"
I explained my situation, and what Sirius had told me about getting crushes to notice me. He was near hysterics when I finished.
"You told him you had Diarrhea?" Through his laughing I caught something that sounded like 'moron'.
"Well what was I supposed to say?" I snapped.
"The truth would have been better!" He seemed to pull himself together. "Wow, I didn't realize you liked him so much." I didn't say anything. Nether did I
At my silence, he responded, "Alright alright, I'm sorry. Now, develop an interest in some of the things he likes. This should be fairly simple, what sort of stuff is he into?" I blushed. Through all of my staring and fantasizing, I had completely bypassed really getting to know him, and of course I had picked right now to notice this. Draco seemed to since my blush through the phone.
"You mean to tell me that you wouldn't be able to pick out his yahoo profile from a stack of complete strangers'?"
"Well I wouldn't go so far as to say that)" I could hear his eyebrow raise. "I just, hadn't gotten a chance to really ask him stuff."
"Right, and how long have you been living with him again?"
"You're supposed to be helping me."
"Right, well. You DO know what you're going to have to do, right?"
"What's that?"
"Sneak into his room, of course."
"What? I couldn't do that! It would be totally invading his privacy!"
"Well genius, it looks like your going to have to invade his privacy in order to eventually invade his bed. Now, what time does he usually head to sleep?"
"Pretty late, but he spends a lot of time in there. If he's not with me or Moony, that is."
"Well, you might have to lure him out. Where is he now?"
"I don't know, lets see if Moony's done killing him yet."
"What?"
"Nothing." I walked to my door and opened it silently. Creeping down the hall way on tiptoe, I made it to Remmy's room, where I heard the sound of laughter. Peaking through the door, I found them curled up on Rem's couch, in the middle of watching a movie.
"Hello? Still with me here?" I startled violently, almost toppling over as I hasted to close the door.
"Yeah, they're in Moony's room watching a movie."
"Perfect! This is your chance!" he seemed to since my reluctance, and added, "Of course, if you don't want to do it, you could always just ask him a couple of questions your self. 'Hey Sirius, I was just wondering, boxers or briefs?' "
"Why would I need to know that?" I asked as I turned to walk the five feet across the hall to Siri's room.
"Future reference. Are you there?"
"Yeah, I'm going in." I said as I pushed open the door. The room was a deep purple, with a shaggy black rug. It was clean, for the most part. But not organized clean, it was like an 'I haven't been in here for a while so I haven't had a chance to mess it up' type of clean.
"No, need to sound as if you're entering enemy territory. You're just going to rummage around in his drawers a bit."
"What? That was not part of the plan!"
"We never established a plan. And I know for a fact that the good stuff is always hidden. So, dig. Top drawer first."
I did as I was told, pulling open his top drawer first. I moved various garments around. "What exactly and I looking for?"
"I dunno, stuff."
"Thanks Drake, your real helpful." I kept moving stuff around, pausing to pick up a little black box. I pulled off the top to find condoms in various different colours and styles and textures. They all seemed to be one size though. And what a size it was.
"Finding anything?"
"Condoms...Big, condoms."
He chuckled. "That's never bad."
"No, no. Not bad at all." I put the box back where I had found it and covered it back up. After a little more rummaging, I decided to move on. I pulled out my hand to find a skimpy little black g-string hanging from my pinky. "I think I just found the answer to the boxers or briefs question. All right, so he likes condoms. Moving on now."
I closed the drawer and went over to a huge multi-compartment stand that held his alarm clock, his books, a couple of pictures (of me/him/Remmy, and some of his friends from the order), and various other little knick-knacks. I squatted down to the level of the books, and began to shift through them.
"Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, wonder why he still has that, A Basic Guide to Dark Curses, What Ever Auror Should Know - and Then Some. Hmmm, these are all work books."
I moved on to the next shelf. "Oh, look at this Drake. The Power of Love, The Life of Curt Kobain, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Wow, and he has a lot of poetry. John Ashbery, Mark Akenside, Bruce Andrews..."
"See, you probably never would've known that if you didn't go in there."
"Hmmm." I mumbled, still distracted by the books. I looked up and saw a CD tower in the other corner. "Music!" I all but ran over to the tower and sat before it. "Wow." He liked a lot of different stuff. "Guns 'N Roses, Steriophonics, David Bowie, Placebo, Queen, Korn, Black Flag, The Germs, The Distillers, Garbage, T-Rex, Sound Garden, and every Red Hot Chili Peppers CD ever recorded."
"Good taste."
"Yeah, but how am I going to work any of this into a conversation?"
"Ask him to borrow you one of his CD's. 'I didn't know you were into the Chili Peppers' he'll say, and you'll reply with 'yeah, Anthony Kiedas is REALLY hot. Maybe we could go to one of their concerts later this summer'."
"...Who's Anthony Kiedas?"
"You're hopeless Potter. How 'bout we take a look at his clothes?"
"Good idea." I stood and walked over to his closet, pushing aside the sliding door. "He has a lot of black...Belly bearing sweaters, fishnet tops, spaghetti straps, lots of tee-shirts with band names on them, ultra low-cut jeans, red thigh-high stiletto's, black knee-high boots, pink pleated mini skirt..." the last one was said very slowly.
"Hm, sounds a lot like my closet." Draco mused.
"That's comforting." I slid the door closed and made to walk around the bed, when I heard movement in the hallway. Someone was heading towards the door! "How long have I been in here?"
"Umm...maybe about 20mins? I'm not sure. Why?"
"I thought I heard someone in the hallway. I didn't think they would be done with the movie so fast." A door in the hallway opened.
"SIRIUS! WE'RE OUT OF TISSUE!" Remus yelled. He began to walk towards his room. I breathed a sigh of relief, which hitched to panic when he yelled, "AND WHY'S YOUR LIGHT ON?!?"
"oh shit" I breathed, then threw myself to the floor beside the bed just a second before Rem opened the door to flick off the light.
"I DON'T KNOW, BUT HURRY UP! I WANT TO FINISH THIS SOMETIME BEFORE TOMMORROW MORNING!" Sirius yelled back.
"I'M COMING, I'M COMING!" The door closed.
I peaked up. "Whew." I crossed the room to turn the light back on. "That was close."
"Your family is loud." Draco yawned. I looked over to the clock; it was almost 11:30. "You think you're done?"
"I guess, but I think I knocked something over when I hit the ground. I crossed the room again, and fond the journal that Rem had given Siri for his last birthday face open on the floor.
"What was it?"
"Siri's Journal fell open." I said bending over to pick it up.
Draco guhawfed. "Are you kidding me? Things like that never happen in real life! Now you have to read it."
"No, I can't. It was bad enough that I even came in here, and went through his condoms, but I am NOT going to read his journal...damn you Draco."
I looked down at the page that it was open to. It was an entry about the movie that we went to see last week. Funny, I had written about that to, although it seemed to be reviewing the movie more than talking about fighting the urge to kiss me. I flipped forward a few pages.
"...And I feel so alive when I'm with him, like nothing else matters. He is so...amazing. With his glasses off, it seems like I can just drown in his eyes. And his smile is so beautiful. I love talking to him. I wish I could tell him how I felt, but I know I can't. He probably only sees me as the dirty slut who can't keep his pants up for more than five seconds, never with the same person for more than a week. It had been the same at school, it was a wonder than I even got Remmy to go out with me back then..."
I shut the book, not being able to read anymore. So Siri was in love with Remus. Well that explained all of the looks that he had been giving him lately, the knowing glances that Remus tossed in his direction, the flirting and the play fighting. And they had looked so comfortable together on the couch earlier...Tears sprang to my eyes. What if he really didn't want me?
"Hare, are you alright?" Draco asked softly. I hastily wiped my face.
"Yeah, just a little tired."
"Alright, you should get some sleep. I'll call you back tomorrow, 'k?"
"Yeah, bye."
"Bye."
I hung up the Phone, and placed the journal back where it had been. Maybe I should just give this up, keep my feelings to myself. It's obvious that he's more interested in Remus than me. /And it's also obvious that Remus doesn't want him; he likes that Dave guy that he's always talking about. And you can't give this up! If you can make Sirius see how perfect of a match you guys could be, he's bound to come around/ yeah, you're right. I have to keep trying. This just means that I have to hurry and put the "plan" into action before its too late /It also means that you cant let them be alone together for extended periods of time. It's better if he sees more of you than him right now/ Right.
I ran my hands over my face again, and picked up the phone before I headed to my own room, flicking the light switch as I went.
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Draco sighed as he hung up the phone. It had been obvious by the abrupt halt in reading: Harry thought Sirius was in love with Remus. He himself knew the truth. Remus had called to give him the heads up on Siri and Harry's little bathroom chat (knowing that Draco would be the one Harry would go to), and he also filled him in on his suspicions about Sirius being interested in Harry (which had just been proved). Sirius, being the oblivious person that he was, still thought of Harry as his little baby, which means that he would more than likely brush off any of Harry's advances as him just being playful, which would result in him unknowingly breaking Harry's heart. That is, unless Remus stepped in to open Sirius' eyes.
So they had come up with a plan of their own. Draco assists Harry (so nothing else like the 'stew incident' occurred), while Sirius would be left to Remus(and apparently Remus wasn't giving him an easy time of it-He had told him to ask Harry out ages ago). It would be hard, but it was absolutely necessary: every one was sick of hearing Harry and Sirius moan about the other when the other wasn't in the room.
Honestly, is was a wonder that they weren't together by now Draco thought. I just hope Harry isn't ready to give up, cause something tells me this is going to take awhile
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END CHAPTER 2! Hehehe. How'd you guys like it? I hope I didn't make Sirius sound like a total slut (by the clothes), but for some reason I just thought it would suit him if his clothes looked like something of a "Hot Topic" catalogue! I guess you could say that Remus and Draco are playing matchmaker, in a way. Well, off to work on chapter THREE! Luvs-yas!