Disclaimer: Don't own!
Chapter Quote: I'll add one later (after I get fired)
…
Vvoom… vroom, vroom…
A brown eye slowly winked open, dazed.
VVOOM!
Ron rolled onto his back and swatted at his eyes, blinking at the ceiling.
Vroom… vroom…
He felt Kim shift beside him and glanced at the alarm clock. 5:03. "What the hell…?"
Vrooree, wee!
Kim sat up, blinking away the last wisps of sleep. "Bob?"
Ron sighed, grinding his teeth together. "Bob." Kim nodded and pulled off the comforter, but Ron stopped her hand. "I've got it."
"You sure?"
Vvoom!
He nodded, letting out a yawn. "Yeah, I'm sure." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Get some sleep." Ron tossed his blankets back and swung his feet off the side of the bed. He slipped on his slippers and tucked the comforter around his wife, kissing her forehead, before heading out of the room.
Squeeeee!
His hand dragged along the hallway wall as he rubbed his eyes.
Vroom… VROOM!
He unlocked the door and stepped outside, the crisp air making him break out into goose bumps. He marched across the lawn, the morning breeze ruffling his disheveled hair. "Bob."
Bob sat in his new sports convertible, Ron did not have the patience to figure out what kind, gripping the steering wheel.
Vvoom!
"Bob!"
The engine roared again.
Ron reached the passenger side of the car and leaned over, tapping Bob's shoulder. "BOB!"
Bob jumped and turned to look at Ron, removing his sunglasses. "Oh, hey kiddo! Come to check out my new toy?" Bob grinned and raised his eyebrows, pressing the gas again, his mustache wiggling excitedly.
Ron sighed, ignoring the nickname. "Bob, it's five in the morning." He eyed the sunglasses. "The sun isn't even up."
"5:10, kiddo." Bob pointed at his radio/CD/MP3 player/thermometer/clock.
Ron rubbed his face. "Whatever, I have to leave for work at seven and Kim has an 8 o'clock lab."
Bob nodded, "well I'm leaving for work now, Ron, and my baby needs to be warmed up." He tapped the steering wheel affectionately. "Nice boxers, kiddo."
Ron looked down at his Garfield boxers, a light blush rising to his cheeks. "Couldn't you just turn it on and let it sit?"
Bob frowned. "Then no one would hear it."
"Exactly. And more importantly, Bob, I wouldn't hear it."
Bob sighed and nodded with false empathy. "You know, when I was your age I went crazy for new cars, if my older neighbor had a new car I'd ask him to take me around the block before going to work. You've gotta lighten up, kiddo."
Ron grinned, if Kim could have heard that. "I'm not into cars much, Bob."
Bob pointed to Ron's neon. "Well believe me, boy, I can see that."
"What in the devil is goin' on out here?"
Ron and Bob flinched. "Nothing, Mrs. Peters."
Mrs. Peters walked around the car once, her frown growing with each step, before stopping next to Ron. "Why the noise? Eh?" She looked at Bob, who shrank back into his seat. "He trying to convince you to join his squirrel killing cult, Bob?"
Ron sighed. "Mrs. Peters, I'm not poisoning the squirrels."
"Covering up your secret conversation with this thing, eh?" She kicked the front tire. Bob's mustache flinched, his face turning red, but said nothing.
"I'm not part of a secret cult, Mrs. Peters." Ron motioned to the car. "I'm trying to get him to turn it off!"
Mrs. Peters' five foot frame shook, her face turning red. She raised her right foot as high as she could and swung it back, kicking Ron in the shin.
"Ow!" Ron grabbed his foot.
"Don't lie, boy! And don't you raise your voice!" She wagged her bony finger in front of his nose. "Only worshipers of Satan lie!" She kicked him in the other shin. "You devil worshiping, squirrel poisoning, cult member!"
"Ow!"
Bob shifted into reverse, "well this has been…" his mustache twitched, "fun. But I'm running late, you have a nice day Mrs. Peters, kiddo." He floored the convertible, a Honda, Ron noticed, and peeled out, flying down the road. He sighed in defeat.
"I'm watching you, Ronald." Mrs. Peters' wagging finger returned.
Ron headed across his yard, waving her off. "Yeah, yeah."
"Bob's a family man, you stop your evil preaching ways!"
"Ok, Mrs. Peters."
"Oh, and say hello to your little wife, Kim, for me." Ron gave a last wave and shut his front door. He shuffled down the hallway, his feet dragging, and paused next to his side of the bed to kick off his slippers. He let out a yawn and stretched, glancing at the clock, 5:18, before leaning a knee on the mattress, a hand lifting the welcoming covers. His pillow shifted, purring. "Morning, General Tormento." He pet the kitten's back before lifting it up and setting it down on the other side of Kim.
"Harmony."
Ron frowned, crawling into the warm bed and pulling the covers up to his chin, "that's no way to greet your husband." He pulled Kim against his chest.
She let out a small squeal, "you're cold!"
Ron buried his icy nose in her neck. "But you're warm." The arm wrapped loosely around her stomach reached out and pet the kitten, who purred happily.
"The kitten's name is Harmony, not General Tormento."
His hand held hers as his head dropped back onto his pillow. "Nonsense, what emperor of the world has a name like 'Harmony?'" He let out a yawn.
"I don't think our kitten is going to take over the world, no offence."
Ron clicked his tongue. "Crushing the General's dreams, Kim." The kitten in question stood up and stretched before wandering to the space on top of the blanket between Ron and Kim and laying down. Ron glanced down at her. "She'll win over the masses with those pretty eyes."
"Pretty eyes, pretty name." Kim's voice was laced with sleep. Ron let the argument drop, he would win this one, just later… after sleep.
…
fanjimmy: He is not! …entirely… …100 percent… …heh…
Craz obsessed: Aw! Thanks! I'm glad you like it so much, sorry about review problems, I hate those.
Imperial Navy Officer: There is no escaping the kitty eyes!
Eternal Sidekick: Me too, they have the whole family under their hypnotic control.
Captainkodak1: Thanks! To say Ron and Kim have different tastes in cat names is like saying all generalizations are false. Loved your 'naptime' piece, by the way.
Mist: Rufus will be in, I swears!
crazyfreak-o-manic: I thought about it when I started writing that chapter, but the kitty needed a rank