Losing my Grip

3rd Person

Torn's POV

Torn fondled Janovah's seal, his mind still shifting over previous night. His mind had gone haywire. But he had to break it off, he didn't want to hurt her. Of course, he'd done an excellent job at that already. It seemed like his purpose in life was to hurt people. His first intention was to hurt her. His first intention was take her virginity and run off with her easy little friend, Kat. But after Rin came along, he felt whenever looked at her, he flet closeness. He realized that this girl should not be hurt, but loved. He instantly sick and ashamed of himself. Janovah had affected him more deeply than anything in the world. He'd thought about it for months-He had to set her free, because he going to hurt her anyway. It was inevitable. This way it was quicker and easier. His plan had gone well until Rin. Even Dash was blind to the truth. Hell, she turned professional eighteen years ago. She had fooled around with Jak, while he was promised to Ashlein. And she never told Janovah. Everybody was hiding things from her. Janovah still hadn't figured out who her mother was. She was too accpeting. Just look at who she loved. A man twice her age, who dumped her and treated her like a disobedient dog in the process.

He couldn't stand the pain he was putting on her. She was going to commit suicide. He'd stopped her, but why? Why didn't he stop at the kiss? What he'd done only added to her confusion. The remorse was killing him. He was drowning in it. It was a curse...

1st Person

Janovah's POV

I had never felt more alone in my life. I was so confused. Torn wasn't telling the truth about why he had left me. First he acted virulent, like he hated me, then goes back has intercourse with me. It was intimate and spiteful at the same time. A mixture of loving pleasure and malevolent mental agony. Outside I was amiable, but the inside I was crying. It felt like a horrible nightmare. Something so perfect and flawless, so delicate but aweless had gone terribly, terribly wrong. I was still in my room, my stomach hurt, my lower abdomen in particular.

A thought stirred in the back of mind. The only way to relieve my mental disarray was to talk to him. Yet I was so afraid to. I got up anyway, and stretched. I walked out of the room, and to the command room...

3rd Person

Torn's POV

Torn closed his eyes. This had been the week from hell. He suddenly heard footsteps and looked up. Janovah was standing in the doorway, her large blue eyes fixed to the floor. Even though she was really beautiful, her apperance then was really sorry. He stared at her. She looked different somehow. They were in the command room from the day before. Her eyes met his. His heart nearly stopped when he saw the pain that consumed them.

Janovah: We need to talk...really talk.

He had no idea what to do or say. He half wanted to send her away, the other half wanted to kiss her, hold her, protect her. However he made up his mind without realizing it.

Torn: Got nothing to say.

There. He just finished his job.

Janovah: What? What about all we did together? What about...last night? Or this?

She pulled out the ring...it was around her neck, as always. He had to tell her. And he did. At first, she did not seem fazed in the slightest. But then afterwards...It seemed to hit, and it showed. Tears swelled in her blue-orb eyes like a tsunami.

Janovah: How could you?
Torn: Janovah...

He tried to put a hand to her cheek, but she pushed him away.

Janovah: Keep your hands off of me!
Torn: Please...I only left you because I wanted to protect you. I don't deserve you. I love you, and I was stupid. You are my true love.
Janovah: I was. You didn't want me to find out about...your lies.

She drew off the ring and held it close to his face. Then she dropped it...it landed with a deafening clink. Then she turned and ran. He bent down picked it up gently. The largest one was cracked...just like his heart. He'd only felt such agony once before...when Jak took his Ashlein away. He started to cry...he had not cried since he was a baby. Whenever he cried he got beaten or made fun of. But he hurt someone...very badly. And now he was paying the price.

1st Person

Janovah's POV

I felt utterly crushed to peices. Why did this happen to me...the person who thought we would last forever? My life was in peices. Little peices. But I had to carry on. I had to activate the weapon and save us all. The weapon, the........................