Title: The Seduction of Sirius Black
Summary: Harry needs advice. Topic? "How to go about telling some one just how crazy you are for them". He goes to Sirius, who doesn't know that his oh-so-expert advice is about to be used on him...
Pairings: Harry/Sirius, Remus/Sirius (past), Remus/OC
Disclaimer: characters aren't mine, just borrowing them for a bit. Never fear, I promise to bring them back safe, if not mildly corrupted. Hehehe....
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I love you guys SO much, really. It's so much more fun doing this when you know that not EVERYONE thinks your crazy. I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in such a while. I've been trying to juggle random ficlets and finish this chapter, all while enduring loads of homework for the last forever. I haven't had ANY time to write. But don't worry; I would never leave a fic unfinished (one of my biggest pet-peeves is when I fall head over heels in love with a story, only to realize that it hasn't been updated in 3 years). I think I'm back on track now, so I can establish a regular updating schedule, even if it takes me a bit. So, at long last, on to chapter FOUR!
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AUTHORS NOTE/CHAPTER SUMMARY: Since I'm slow and couldn't find a way to incorporate this into the first 2 chapters, I'll put it here: Harry is obsessed with Manga, mostly Fruits Basket. Almost as obsessed as Sirius is with the Chili Peppers. Almost. So, with this new information, what will happen when Sirius tries to take some of his own advice?
Chapter 4 (ch3 pt-2): Shopping, Surprises and Major Mess-Ups pt-2
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After a semi awkward brunch was over, Sirius found himself in the living room sitting Indian style on a pillow in front of his laptop, his hair loose and hanging to the floor as he stared intently at the screen.
This is going to be perfect
/I'm going to have to see it to believe it/
No, really! How could I POSSIBLY screw this up?
/I'll leave that up to you to decide/
...Shut up
At that moment, Remus walked into the room with a cup of cocoa, a furniture catalogue and a highlighter. Catching sight of Sirius, he pulled up a pillow and sat beside him.
"What are you on?" Remus asked. He sat his cup on the floor and opened his catalogue to a page that he had already started highlighting.
"Google." Sirius answered. He clicked an arrow that brought him to a different page.
Remus placed his chin on Sirius' right shoulder. "What are those pictures of?"
"Fruits Basket." Sirius answered, frowning at a picture of a man with long white hair named Ayame Sohma. (1)
Why does he remind me of Lucius?
/Could it be that he looks on awful lot LIKE Lucius?/
Maybe....
Remus lifted his head. "Isn't this that comic that Harry was reading earlier?"
"It's not a comic, it's authentic manga." Sirius answered absently.
"Oh." Said Remus. Sirius missed his smirk. "So, what exactly are you looking for?" He was full out smiling now, but Sirius was still oblivious.
"Nothing much, just a picture of this guy." Sirius clicked to another page.
"This guy huh?" Remus asked, now fighting back laughter. "Have any idea what this guy looks like?"
/You are having TOO much fun with this Remus/
I know, but its just SO fun to watch him do stupid stuff. I could tell that he was getting pissed off this morning when Harry was "watching" me, he is SO transparent, not to mention territorial. I'm really surprised it's gotten to the point where they have to do THIS to get the other to pay attention to them
XXXXX20 minutes earlierXXXXX
KNOCK KNOCK"Come in!" Harry shouted from his desk.
Remus stepped through the door, shutting it behind him.
"Hey," Harry said, glancing up from his computer.
Remus kneeled next to his chair, bracing his elbows on the desk and setting his chin on his arms. "Hey. I was just about to make some hot chocolate, just wanted to see if you wanted any."
"No thanks, I'm still really full from breakfast." Harry clicked am arrow that brought him to a different page.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothin' much. Just looking for pictures of some bands."
Remus glanced to the top of the page. GOOGLE IMAGE RESULT FOR: Audioslave
"Isn't that one of Sirius' favorites?" Remus scanned the page. Girls in flares and "I-heart-Chris-Cornell" painted of their cheeks and shirtless guys that were covered in mud adorned the pixel frames.
Harry blushed. "Is it? I didn't notice. D-Draco was telling me about them...I thought I'd check them out." He said this all very fast while staring at the keyboard.
"Mmmhmm." Remus clicked his tongue. "What is it that you and Draco were planning on doing today?"
"Shopping." Harry looked at Remus and cocked his head. "Why?"
"Just wondering," Remus said, standing slowly. He isn't planning on doing what I think he is...
"Take a jacket." And with that he turned and left the room.
That was close Harry thought as he turned back to his computer.
XXXXXPresentXXXXX
/Love is blind.../
...And it'll take over your mind.
/Hehehehe/
Hehehehe
Remus snapped out of his trance and looked up to see Sirius walking back from the printer that was across the room, a folded paper in his left hand and a scary smile on his face. As soon as he got close enough, Remus snatched the paper from his hands.
"Who is this?" he asked.
Sirius kneeled down and started to turn of his computer. "Haru Sohma." He was still smiling.
"Right. So when are we leaving to go on this sacred shopping trip?"
"In a half hour maybe? I want to look for something else."
"So I'm guessing you figured out what the plan was?"
"Yep!" Sirius answered serenely. He is so off in his own little world. I wonder if he even notices he's answering me? Lets just see how much I can get him to tell me...
"So," Remus said slyly. "What's with your sudden interest in manga?"
"Harry likes it." Sirius said quickly.
"Uh-huh. So, what does that have to do with you?"
"If Harry likes it, then I have to like it." Sirius said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I'm still not getting what all of this has to do with you." I'm so evil
"It's all part of the plan, you'll see."
Here's what I was getting at "And what plan is this?"
Sirius rolled his eyes." The plan to get Harry to like me." His eyes widened to the size of saucers as he turned to a self-satisfied smirking Remus.
Rem hitched a brow. "And why would you want Harry to like you?" He grabbed his book and his mug and headed off towards the kitchen.
"Rem, please-"
"Could it be because you've been madly in love with him for the past, oh, I dunno, (FOREVER)?"
"Listen - wait, how long have you known?"
"We've all know for about 2 years now." Remus said walking over to the sink to rinse his cup.
A look of dread passed over his face. "You, all? Who exactly are you all?"
"Me, Tonks, Dave, Bill, Draco-"
"WHAT? Harry's little (riends are in on this?"
"In on what?"
"What ever plan I'm sure you've come up with." Sirius huffily threw himself into a chair and put his arms around his head.
Remus walked over and sat in the chair next to him. He leaned over until his mouth was level with Siri's left ear. "What are you so afraid of?" He whispered.
Sirius lifted his head and Remus was startled to see his hair sticking to the tears that were trickling down his face. He ran his hand over one red blotchy cheek.
"Harry rejecting me. Everyone else rejecting me."
"Oh sweetheart. I know for a fact that won't ever be that case. Harry loves you, I love you, and so do the others."
Sirius looked up. "You mean you don't mind?" He asked with wide eyes.
"Of course not. And I don't think Harry would either if you tried talking to him." He coaxed.
Sirius shook his head violently. "No. No I can't do that. I like my plan better, I'm safer with my plan."
"You're going to have to talk to him eventually." Remus said, laying a hand on his arm.
"I know, I at least try this first?" He pleaded.
He looks terrified "Fine," Remus sighed. "But couldn't you at least come up with a better plan? I mean come on. Manga?"
Sirius smiled. "Harry likes manga." He said simply.
Remus shook his head.
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Harry got out of the car on shaky knees, shoving the door closed so hard that the frame rattled.
He tossed a glare at Draco, who set the alarm on the car door with the push of a button a 'Beep Beep' before he threw the keys into his bag.
"You drive like a mad man." He said as they set off toward the mall.
"I honestly don't see what the problem was, the truck stopped." Draco said as he rooted around in his bag for a piece of gum.
"Barely. And I still don't see why you had to bring that purse." Harry said, looking at the offending item in Draco's hand with distaste.
"It's a handbag. And I told you, it matches with my outfit...Gum?"
The 'outfit' in question consisted of black ankle boots, black shiny-leather flairs, a green soft velvet t-shirt, and a shiny black leather handbag with a silver chain strap.
"No thank you, and maybe if you would put that crap in your pockets."
"Pants are to tight for pockets."
"Exactly"
Draco blew a bubble, tapped Harry on the shoulder, and popped it on his nose when he turned his head.
"Aaaargghhhh!" Harry yelled as he wiped the sticky pink goo off of his face.
Draco chuckled as he held the door to the mall open for Harry.
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Harry picked up a red pleated micro-mini skirt with a safety pin chain from a hanger on a wall. He put it back with a shake of his head and turned around to come face to face with a display case full of stickers that said things like ' I love carbs' and 'I-heart-pirates'.
"What did you say the name of this store was again?" Harry turned to Draco, who was examining a pair of lime green jeans.
"There's a big ass red sign out side that says 'Hot Topic', right?" Draco said with a hitched brow, still examining the tag on the jeans.
"Right." Said Harry, flushing slightly. "And what exactly are we looking for in here?"
"Something that makes you look like the stereotypical Audioslave groupie." He replied, rehanging the jeans ad walking over to Harry. He picked up the red skirt that he had just been looking at.
"This is cute." He said turning it over in his hands.
"No," Harry said, taking it from him and rehanging it.
"I might want it," Draco challenged, taking the skirt back down again.
"No," Harry said again, taking the skirt and hanging it up once more.
Draco pursed his lips and walked in a different direction. "Hmmmmmmmm. Oh, I know! Leather! Sirius has lots of leather!"
"Leather chafes." Harry said.
"But it looks sexy as hell."
"But it chafes." Harry said, writhing as if he could feel it bunching up on him.
"Fine, how about this?"
"No."
"This?"
"No."
"This?"
"No."
"This?"
"No."
"This?"
"No."
"This?"
"NO"
"Well what do you want?" Draco asked exasperated.
Harry looked around desperately. Finally his eyes landed on something.
"...How about that?"
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As they headed back to their car, Remus couldn't help but think that this would be the biggest most unnecessary mistake of Siri's life. Still, he had to laugh.
"I still can't believe we got this costume at such a low price!"
"Siri, it was the only one they had." It had taken the manager half an hour to find Sirius' requested costume, which had been stored in the very top of the very back of the anime ware house they has visited. "And all of the pieces weren't even in the package, I'm sure they had forgotten it was there. Are you sure it's even the right size?"
Sirius opened and unlocked the car doors. "Are you calling me fat?"
Remus sighed. "Never mind."
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When Harry arrived back home, it was to find Remus in the kitchen making dinner, light music playing in the back round.
"Hey." Remus said, looking up from his chopping. "How was shopping?"
"Great! Where's Sirius?"
"Upstairs. Dinners in a hour!" He called up at Harry who had flown out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
When will they learn? He asked himself as he resumed his chopping.
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Sirius jumped as a knock sounded at his door. "Remmy says dinners in an hour Siri!" Harry called.
"All-all right! Thanks!"He tensely listened for the sound of his feet walking away, his bedroom door shutting... Whew! That was close! He thought as he upturned his bag and shook his new stuff out into the comforter. This is going to be (perfect)
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Harry tossed his bag onto his bed and kicked off his shoes. This is going to be (perfect) He thought as he grabbed a towel and headed for the shower.
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Remus Smiled to himself as he poured himself a glass of milk. He leaned against the counter and watched the sauce in the pot bubble and spatter against the sides. This is going to be a disaster
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1) Alright, I saw this picture when I was searching google and I SWEAR I thought it was Lucious on first glance. Prove me wrong!
All right! This was a short chapter, I know, but it took me a while to get back into the momentum. Though I (do) like the way it ended, so it's all good. Not to worry, next chapter is going to be much longer, and funnier! Thanks for all of my wonderful reviews! I love so all SO much! Drop me a line if you wish! Kisses!