Excluding Hayley (Yes, I named Wario's kid after me) all of the characters are copyright by Nintendo.

Chapter 1: And the mother is...

Wario, Waluigi and Wario's daughter (Who's name is Hayley) were sat round the table in the grand hall. Wario was holding an icepack to his head, as he had a splitting headache from the suprise guest (Or maybe he just hit his head really hard when he fainted) He was also gulping iced water, likewise with Waluigi. Hayley was sipping her chocolate milk through a straw, staring at the brother's pale faces and wide eyes. She finished her drink off quickly and started conversation. "Sooooo...I bet you guys are just DYING to hear my story!" she said loudly.

Hayley happened to inherit Wario's sweet tooth, and was addicted to anything that had a sugary substance in it. She tended to be very hyper and happy (and slightly annoying) most of the time, but was quite sweet and gentle when she wanted to be.

Waluigi then turned to Wario. "How...how did it happen? Who was the...erm..."lucky" lady?" he asked Wario. "You don't need to know!" he snapped, turning very vicious all of a sudden. "Look kid! You must have made some mistake. Even though I am a very hunky and attractive chick magnet, I would never have done any business with all those desperate women!" "Sure Wario! And how did this little misfit pop up exactly?" said Waluigi mockingly. "Look, for the whole of my life, I have had to live with the agony and shame of not knowing who my dad was. I know it's you, because I asked mother after many years of keeping it under lock and key!" Hayley said defensively, looking straight into Wario's eyes. This made him feel a bit guilty. "Oh, and who is your mom then?" asked Waluigi.

Before Wario could stop her, she blurted out the answer. "Her name is Mona!" Waluigi stared at Wario, who sunk deeply into his throne-like chair, hiding his red face. "Mona! The same Mona who works at Mona Pizza? From those stupid WarioWare games?" Said Waluigi, towering over his brother. "Hey, you wouldn't say they were stupid if you were in them!" sneered Wario, getting up from his throne. "What makes you think that Mona would go for you anyway? Was she unconsious or something?" "Hey! It's none of your business!" "So she was unconsious?"

"I never said that!" Just as the brothers were about to have a fist fight, Hayley jumped on Wario, entwining her legs around his waist. "Please stop! You are frightening me!" she pleaded. Wario shook her off, leaving her on the ground. He turned to her and said "Never...ever...do that again" sounding as dark as he could. Wario then did the unthinkable. He raised his fist to pound his daughter. Just before he could deliver the pounding blow, Waluigi grabbed his wrist. "What do you think you are doing! I never thought you could stoop so low as to hit your own flesh and blood. I mean, stealing money and going 100 miles an hour down the Mushroom Motorway is kinda rebellious, but punching your own daughter is just barbaric!" he shouted. Hayley was quivering on the floor, her eyes welling up with tears. Could her father really be this...this...monster?

Wario gulped. For the first time in his life, he felt really rotten...but not in the "good" way. He felt a deep sinking feeling inside, and he was almost in tears. Waluigi had picked up Hayley and apologised for his brother's behaviour. Hayley looked at Wario again. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. She slowly edged towards him and asked if he was alright. "Yeah...yeah...I'm fine" he said, trying to gulp back his tears.

"Erm...well, it is quite late. Should I show you to your new bedroom?" he asked her. "Yeah! she said exitedly. She had admired the gold and red decor in the great hall, and hoped for her bedroom to be the same way. He led her up to the third floor, where the bedrooms were. He peeked in the spare room. It was very shoddy, and it smelled a bit funny. He then saw the look on Hayleys face. She was staring at the red wallpaper in the hallway, and the regal red carpeting on the floor. She deserved a better room. Wario took a deep breath and showed her his room. "This is where you will be sleeping" he said, almost in a whisper. "Woooow! It's so big! YAY! Kingsize bed!" she said, jumping up and down on it in her muddy shoes.. "Hey! Don't be jumping on it! Its for sleeping...and possibly eating in, but thats it! Anyway, it's half past midnight! You should be sleeping!" Wario said to her, suddenly feeling very protective and fatherly. "Well, OK. Night night Daddy Wario! Night Night Uncle Waluigi!" she said to the brothers. Wario then noticed her clothes were all wet from being in the rain. Her socks were also very dirty, and her hair looked as if you could heat it up and fry chips in it. His bed might be contaminated with all sorts of germs. He tried not to think about it as he closed his bedroom door.

I...I can't beleive it bro! I'm actually an uncle!" Waluigi said exitedly to Wario, who was sharing his room. "So...how do you feel about being a dad?" he asked Wario. Wario thought about what he did in the great hall. He felt really bad about threatening Hayley. So bad that he rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow. "Wario?...Wario..are you...alright?" Waluigi asked, with concern in his voice. He looked down at his brother, on the spare mattress. Waluigi was hearing snuffling sounds coming from Wario. He then got out of his bed and sat down beside where Wario was laying. Could it be that...that he was crying? Wario never ever cried. Even when he and Waluigi were young. Waluigi waited for quite a while before he could talk to him. Wario finally lifted his head of the pillow and took heavy gasps of air. His pillow was tearstained and his eyes were red and watery. "Wario...is this something...you want to talk about?" asked Waluigi softly. "Bro, I dont think I will ever be a good parent. I will just screw things up big-time!" said Wario. "I almost wish she never came here" he added miserably.

"Well, we could go on a day trip together. You, me and Hayley. You could make everything up to her and you won't feel so bad" suggested Waluigi. "Thats a great idea! We will go first thing tomorrow...but for now...I just wanna..." but before Wario could finish his sentence, his head hit the pillow and he went to sleep. Waluigi did likewise and climbed into his own bed.

Now, peace and quiet decended on Wario Castle...until the next day.

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