DISCLAIMER: STILL do not own the X-Men. And ever since Stan Lee put out that restraining order... well, it aint gonna happen soon.
"Y'all are perverts. That ain't what we were doing."
"Riight."
"Actually, she's telling the truth."
"Thank you, Jean. Now get outta mah head."
"Already one step ahead of you."
"…So what were you doing, then?"
"Keep an eye on Trey."
As they went through the exercises, Trey was visibly having issues with the equipment. He seemed to be fighting with the air around him.
"Zoom in, Betsy."
"What is that?"
"Remy was kind enough to program little tiny flies. He's used them before t' piss me off during exercises."
"Oui. But we tweaked dem a little bit."
"Yeah, now they talk."
Sarah covered her mouth. "That's what he meant? He kept on saying that the fairies were talking to him. We thought he was high."
"He probably was."
"An' we forgot- we colored dem yellow and pink and rouge, Rogue."
Sarah laughed. "hehe… rouge, Rogue."
"As the first day in the mansion draws to a close, the contestants start to get comfortable..."
One of the second-floor reading areas had been converted into a makeshift confessional, and Jean walked into it.
"It's really nice being home, but I can't help and feel bad for the others, the ones who aren't X-Men. We get to be here with our friends and family, and they're shoved into another environment, full of more people that they don't know. And then tomorrow, they're going to go through a challenge in the danger room. The three of us have been training in there for years. We know how that place works, we know how to get around things, we are completely comfortable using it. We are no longer afraid of the knowledge that what we're walking on is really a hologram, suspended twenty feet above the ground. We know to trust it. They do not. It seems like a completely unfair challenge. I've spoken to both Bobby and Ro—Anna about it, and they agree. We're not going to perform at our fullest. We couldn't if we wanted to, it just isn't fair. I can't help wondering if it was a mistake, putting the three of us on the island. Even out of the other mutants, it's no contest. And don't give me that look, Stu. Oh, Stu is the cameraman. And he just gave me a look. I'm not being conceited. It's a fact. We're all highly trained, we're experts at what we do.. These other mutants... I mean, Katie's a porn star, for crying out loud. She doesn't have the same training..."
" 'We're all highly trained. We're experts at what we do.' I sound like a bad drama show, don't I?"
"Aw, don't feel bad about it, luv. At least you didn't tell kids not to try that at home."
"Coming up, an inside look at the danger room, in use by the X-Men themselves."
The screen showed a clip of Jean cracking her knuckles and addressing the camera, as the Danger room doors closed. "Kids, do NOT try this at home."
"You're such a dork."
"You're one to talk, Scott." Jean quipped in return.
"Sorry, sugah... It's just not as cute when y'all do it."
"Ain't dat de trut'." Gambit gave Rogue a high five.
"I'm hungry. Let's order pizza." Bobby rubbed his stomach.
"I second that." Logan spoke up from the corner.
"Where's the phone?" Kitty fumbled around for it.
"I'll call." Betsy offered. Kitty tossed her the phone and she hit the speed dial number for the pizza place. "It's ringing... Oh, hello, darling. It's Elisabeth, from the Xavier Institute. Yes, I know it's been awhile. I've missed talking to you, too."
"What the hell is she talking about?"
"She likes t' make friends wit' de pizza guys, Wolvie."
"Yes, she's a social butterfly." Ororo grabbed the beer from Logan's hand, having finished hers. "Thanks."
He grumbled and got up to go get another beer.
"Well, we're all having a survivor party over here. Yes. We do it every week. You haven't? Well, you're more than welcome to stay and watch with us. It just started. Of course. Right. See you then! Thanks!" She hung up the phone.
"Did you forget to actually order the pizza?"
"No, they already knew what I wanted. We order the same thing every week. By the way, Sean is going to come over and watch."
"Sean?"
"Works the counter."
"Won't he be here a little bit late?" Kurt looked at his watch.
"He's coming over now."
"When's the pizza coming?"
"With him."
"That fast?"
"Like I said, they knew we were going to order it. You can always count on Bobby's gut."
"And gas." Sarah added.
"Hey. I'm right here."
"JEAN! JEAN!"
She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the reading room/confessional. "I'm right here, Logan."
"Oh. Hi."
"Is that all you wanted to say?"
"No. Going to the grocery store. Anything you need?"
"Well I was thinking about making turkey for everyone tonight..."
"You might want to take that up with Gumbo."
"What?"
"LeBeau is down there right now. Cooking."
"Take your time at the store. I'll give you a 'ring' when I take over the cooking duties."
"Good luck with that."
She went down to the kitchen, passing Rogue and Sarah on the way.
"This is th' parlor. Ah feel so 'Gone With the Wind' sayin' that. This is th' parlor, where th' men talk about th' war. Ah find all of that so boring."
Sarah laughed, and Rogue curtsied.
"It was missing something."
"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Wait, there it is."
"Where?"
"The eyebrow. You have to raise the eyebrow. Here, watch." She cleared her throat and raised her eyebrow. "Ah do declare!"
"See, that was missing somethin' too."
"What?"
"The accent."
"Oh shut up."
"Ah'm sorry, that's something Ah just can't do."
She opened the door and let Sarah lead the way out towards the kitchen. Before she could open the door to the kitchen, though, the door slammed open by some unseen force and shouting could be heard.
"You can't do this! I am fire and life incarnate! I am..."
"Not cooking dinner tonight, dat's what you are, now get outta de kitchen, birdie."
Jean huffed out of the kitchen, running straight into Rogue, and slamming the door behind her telekinetically.
"Some celestial avatar, huh, Jeanie?"
"Shut up or I'll put you into a coma."
Rogue patted her friend on her bare shoulder, and left her hand resting there. "Likewise."
Jean looked down at her shoulder and sighed angrily. She stormed away, mumbling to herself.
"She'll calm down. If she doesn't, Ah'll calm her down myself."
She opened the door to the kitchen and poked her head in. "Rhett? Oh, Rhett?"
Sarah sniggered and followed her into the kitchen, where Gambit was already stirring a large pot. He spun around and bowed gallantly.
"Ms. O'Hara."
"Whatcha doin'?"
She hopped up onto the counter, and Sarah slid into a chair at the table.
"Cookin'"
"Whatcha cookin'?"
"Whatcha think?"
He ladled a spoonful and held it out to her. She tried some of it and nodded before the cayenne pepper fully kicked in.
"Agh...too spicy."
"Probably because Remy added a bit more of de pepper to dat spoon."
"That's mean! Why'd ya do that?"
"Because you're in de kitchen. Now get. Shoo."
He snapped the towel at her and she and Sarah darted out of the kitchen.
"Touchy, isn't he?"
"Yeah, he gets that way when he's cookin'."
Sarah looked around. "You know... I don't think I've seen a camera for about fifteen minutes."
"Ah threatened t', uh, 'fix' them if they came along on th' tour. There are parts of this mansion that they simply can't catch on film."
"Oh. Like where?"
"You wanna see something cool?"
"Oh yeah."
A/N: Update. woo hoo. Review!