A/n: Well I wrote another story in continuation of Tales of Mischief. Each story is a separate tale, which has nothing to do with the first chapter. Each are new adventures and silliness. I don't follow rules when it comes to the techincal stuff of the game and that..if I did it would be sorta boring. So expect some wacky things. And yes there is a hint of yaoi business in the story, but I'm only making an on going joke out of it. And writing a cooking fic was easy since I love to cook and I love watching Iron Chef! Read and Review!
To the reviewers, cause I like to give you feedback.
Dead Boy: Yay! I'm glad you found this funny I was worried I'd be the only one XD
sirhcnotilih: Haha guess you didn't know it was Shootingstar99 sorry I had to put this up I couldn't wait. Plus your busy so no worries Glad you liked the story thankies!
FairyV: Aww my fine winged friend surreal...yup thats what I aim for I'm glad it made you laugh.
animekisekae: Thankies I'm glad you found this as humourous as I did. Yup Lloyd's a dancing queen! I just thought I'd put it in M cause of some of the suggestive themes I have here. You know with Yuan and Kratos and at the end withZelos and Sheena, plus the alcohol..gah I guess I also a tad paranoid now XD and yes I'm gonna continue to have fun with KY pairing hinting hehe.
Homocidal-Snowbunnies: Thanks I'll definitly try to keep at it
Tales of Mischief
Iron Wonder Chef Challenge
Prologue – its summer break and Colette, Raine, Genis and Lloyd decided to visit Regal in Altamira. The busy tourist city was bustling with the up coming filming of Iron Wonder Chef, straight from Lorenzo HQ. Lloyd had called on Zelos to come to Altimara and he dragged Sheena along. So now everyone was shacked up in the grand hotel on the top floors.
"YOU DID WHAT!" hollered Raine, eyes blazing at Genis.
"What's the big deal, I thought it would be fun and I signed Regal up for the next segment of Iron Wonder Chef," Genis said grinning cheekily at Regal.
Regal raised his eyebrows, "You know…I have always loved that show." The blue haired man who finally held to his promise to Alicia wasn't wearing his shackles no more, spoke wistfully.
"See he'll do it," cried Genis, "Plus we can be in the audience to cheer him on or be his helpers."
"Regal do you want to cook on National TV?" asked Raine skeptically.
"I…," Regal started to speak but was cut off.
"Who's going on TV?" Lloyd butt in walking onto the terrace of the girls' room, all dripping wet from swimming at the beach.
"Regal is," Genis nodded happily and added, "I'd do it but I'm not old enough," the silver haired warlock added grumpily.
"What, we're gonna be on the Maury Povich Show?" Colette cried happily and stood looking at some puzzled faces.
"Colette have you been into wild mushrooms again?" Genis said dryly, "No I signed Regal up to be the next Iron Wonder Chef!"
"Well I don't know about Wond…," Regal was cut off again.
"Yay that sounds like fun do we get to be his assistants?" she asked her hair dripping from also being at the beach with Lloyd.
"STOP! Has anyone let Regal agree to this yet?" Raine shouted and looked at Regal who was smirking at the lot, with their cooking enthusiasm.
"Isn't there a contract to sign?" Regal asked Genis who dug out an eighty page document from inside his blue coat.
The group paled at the size of the thing.
"It's not as bad as I thought it would be, I'll be a moment," Regal said wandering off to read the contract, like the suave businessman that he was.
Everyone had been hanging out in the girls' penthouse room, when Colette and Lloyd had decided to go to the beach. Zelos and Sheena came along but stayed behind when Lloyd started thinking about food and wandered off at the smell of hot dogs near by. Of course Colette had found him scarfing down hot dogs and then decided to go see their friends here in the hotel.
"It'll take Regal forty-two minutes and ten seconds to read and sign the contract," Presea said more to herself rather than any one else.
"See I knew he'd do it!" Genis claimed, looking smug.
SMACK!
"Don't be so arrogant," Raine scowled and wagged her finger at Genis who was pouting.
"We get to be on television!" cheered Colette as she ran off to change into dry clothes.
Everyone sighed and Lloyd asked, "Don't they have sous chefs that help out Regal. So we'll only be audience members, right?" Spoke the spiky brown haired boy as he pulled off his swimming goggles and snorkel from his forehead.
"You actually watch that show too," Raine asked incredulously.
"Well…err…yeah Colette and I…" Lloyd started.
"I don't want to hear it," Raine held up her hand and said, "I'm going for a walk." With that she left the room and everyone staring after her smirking.
"She'll enjoy it once we get there; she'll see how much fun it is. Just don't let her near the food!" Genis suggested severely and everyone giggled.
Later on they all met up at a buffet for dinner and talked animatedly about the upcoming show. It took the restaurants' biggest table to comfortably seat them all and everyone sat with their choice of food and ate excitedly.
"Genis don't forget your napkin?" Raine stated without looking up.
"Yes mommy…" Genis growled.
SMACK!
"Don't be smart," Raine said sitting back down and the group snickered.
"You know I think you have sunburn right…," Zelos said about to touch Sheena where he shouldn't.
But she held her fork like a dagger, "Touch me and you'll lose it Chosen." The raven haired summoner said as she threatened Zelos's nether regions with a fork.
"No not the crown jewels!" cried Zelos holding his privates.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"So Regal, are you nervous, geared up, gonna kick some ass!" Lloyd asks shovelling food in his mouth working on his third plate.
"I will invest all my best efforts into preparing the best dishes," Regal claimed calmly, clearly unfazed.
"Can I be your helper?" asked Colette looking hopeful.
Regal regarded her with a tentative look and sighed, "If you must, I'll need two others too, anyone?" asked Regal wearing his causal clothes now that he could change without the bother of cuffs. He enjoyed his tan slacks and shirt with a red vest, hair tied neatly behind his back.
"I want to help," Raine said suddenly looking up seriously.
The air was still, time froze as everyone's jaw dropped. Lloyd paused mid slurp, a noodle hanging from his mouth, Genis dropped his fork splattering his clothes with red sauce, Sheena choked and Zelos unknowingly ate a chilli pepper without looking. Presea wore one of her rare shocked expressions and Colette continued to eat, not fazed at all.
Regal sweat dropped and said, "….Of course."
Just then Zelos yelped, his tongue hanging out and grabbed the nearest source of water. He pulled out the flowers from the vase and drank, Lloyd laughed and snorted.
"Must have been a scotch bonnet you ate, milk will help that," Regal said chuckling and called for the waiter to bring some.
Zelos sat panting and airing his tongue as the gang looked at Raine with side glances, "What, since you all think this show is so great. I wanna know what the big deal is. I bet I'd make a good sous chef."
"I believe you'll try your best," Regal said calmly and everyone snickered.
Raine huffed and sat quietly.
"Well then I can help can't I?" Genis asked hopefully. "Don't have to be of age to be a helper now eh?"
Regal smiled, Genis was probably the best cook among all of his friends and he jumped at the opportunity to add him to his team, "Sure!" he cried.
After dinner they all headed back to their rooms get a good night sleep, considering tomorrow was such a big day. On their way back Lloyd bumped into his father Kratos and Yuan.
"Da…I mean Kratos and Yuan you're here in Altimara?" Lloyd asked incredulously.
"Lloyd," Kratos turned a bright shade of red, "What are you doing here?"
"WHAT are you and Yuan doing here?" Lloyd countered haughtily, looking at them both what seemed like they just got out of the hot tub, since both wore towels wrapped around themselves. Lloyd stitched his brows together.
"Err…we are judges for this show, some producer asked us. What was it again, Iron Wonder Chef?" Kratos said matter of fact, looking at Yuan. Yuan rolled his eyes.
"Yes that's what it's called," barked Lloyd feeling uneasy and added, "We're going to be there tomorrow."
"Really?" Yuan said and paled, "Great, how did I let you talk me into this Kratos?"
Kratos giggled.
DID HE…?
DID KRATOS JUST GIGGLE? Whoa, thought Lloyd. He felt scared, very scared, "Look I need to go polish my swords or something," and with that Lloyd ran as fast as he could.
"LADIES and GENTLEMEN I'm your host Gnome and welcome to Iron Wonder Chef challenge!" cried monstrous looking creature with that looked like a giant rodent with a red ribbon on top of his head. "Tonight, we have the almighty Wonder Chef himself battling Regal Bryant, CEO of Lorenzo Company here in Altimara!" he cried to a roar of cheers.
The smarmy, cheery Wonder Chef bounced happily, with his group of all too happy helpers and bowed to the crowd in his green and read suit, donning his forever Chef Hat with the letter W on it. Regal shot sketchy eyes at him as did Colette, Genis and Raine in their sous chef outfits; alongside Regal in his white outfit and chef hat. He was going down, Regal thought as Gnome announced him.
"Each chef has one hour to prepare five dishes using the same ingredient as the main item in each dish! And tonight's main ingredient is….Spinach!" cried Gnome and paused, "Go!" he said to the chefs.
Each group huddled and discussed a quick game plan before they set busily to work. Regal was calm, he was used to being under pressure and thought up his five favourite spinach dishes. No problem he got Genis making the pastry dough and then pizza dough. Then he went to give Colette and Raine a job but what, he thought. Ah ha!
"Now Raine start chopping the onions and Colette follow this paper carefully. Add only the exact amount of mayonnaise and sour cream, alright?" Regal explained to her as he wrote down the ingredients and their dimensions on paper. They set to work.
"Look at them sorry buggers go," Gnome said in his irritating demeaning manner doing his duties as host. He went around interviewing tonight judges as the food was being prepared. "Like okay I have to actually talk to you guys so say something to the camera, will ya?" Gnome asked a group of astonished judges with his horrible mannerisms.
A sweet long brown-haired girl seated as judge number one spoke first, "My name is Chocolat. I live in rebuilt Palmacoasta with my mother, we run the local shop. Plus…."
"Yea, yea lady we heard the story before," huffed Gnome and moved onto the next judge.
Yuan was judge number two and he didn't look very happy to be here and asked, "Do you really expect me to say anything?"
"Ah duh, that's the point," Gnome added sarcastically.
Closing his eyes and sighing Yuan just said, "My name is Yuan that's all you need to know."
"Wow, now ain't he got something up his…bleep," Gnome said arrogantly as the shows automatic sensors cut off his curse. Kratos could be seen holding back Yuan, in his attempt to attack the rude earth spirit.
Kratos didn't give any fuss when it was his turn next he simply said, "I'm Kratos Aurion, Lloyd Irving's father," he added with pride. "Now I work with Yuan."
"Boring," sang Gnome and added a yawn to emphasize his point and moved on. "Whoa, green hair, I bet you think you're cool?" asked the Gnome to the next judge.
Forcystus grumbled at the fat Gnome's words and said, "You will not talk to me in that manner, as in section 4B you have violated…."
"Yawn, next," Gnome simply stated and moved onto the last judge a snotty looking red head.
"My name is Seles, unfortunately Zelos's sister...," she started, when a familiar voice came from the other side of the set.
"Aww sis you know you love me!" and a chorus of laugher erupted from the audience.
"Gawd," she sighed and finished with, "I live in the Abbey."
"Seems like you need some family counselling geesh," went the plump earth spirit. "Why do I do this job," asked the Gnome to himself. "I know! Because you guys," he looked at Lloyd's group and the Regal's cooking team, "stole all my money from the dragon in the earth temple! No respect I tell ya!" The audience was eating this up and laughed.
Lloyd in his defence said, "That gald saved Luin! And then the world!"
"Yea, yea whatever," Gnome waved his big paw at Lloyd and then the camera's were back on Regal and the Wonder Chef. "Whoa I'm having a hard time seeing what your doing in that flour cloud Regal," said the host who started to cough.
Regal didn't look happy, in fact he looked embarrassed. He couldn't stop the chain reaction Colette set off. First she fell and hit the switch for stove, making a wooden spoon catch fire and causing a popcorn kernel to be fired like a missile, which turned on electric fan (used to cool hot pastries) and blew flour all over their kitchen. "Yea there was a little mishap," Regal said in a tight cool tone.
"Little!" cried Genis and stifled a snort.
"Come on guys lets hurry we only have fifteen minutes to finish," claimed Raine who was unfazed and quickly working while talking about the history of baking tiles used for cooking.
"Looks like were back in school, run for it!" Gnome cried and hurried over to the Wonder Chef. "Seems like you guys have everything under control?"
"I have only the freshest ingredients and the best helpers," said the Wonder Chef as he glanced over at Regal who was daring him to say more with a glare. "We will be victorious!"
"Very confindent even with that silly get up you wear," Gnome put forth to a stunned Wonder Chef. "Now let's talk to the audience," he walked up to the ascending theatre of people that were watching the show. "I know you guys, especially the one that talks stuffy to summon spirits, hey girlie how's it going?" asked Gnome to Sheena, who tried to disappear behind Lloyd. "Aww don't be shy, we still have a pact don't we?"
"Y…Yes, we do," Sheena said blushing as she realized this was on television and suddenly she straightened up and held her head high. She had to be brave, "Yes your help was greatly appreciated Gnome," she said clearly.
"Sure no problem, hey I like your ribbons girl with a sad face," Gnome said to Presea, who was carving a piece of wood.
"Um…thank you," Presea said touching her ribbons, "Why do you wear such a big red bow?" She asked studying the earth spirit.
"Cause I look so sexy!" cried Gnome and the crowd laughed.
"Nah, no ones sexier than the great and powerful Chosen," Zelos piped up flipping his hair.
"Hey aren't you the one that someone I know calls you; and I'm not saying names here; Idiot Chosen?" asked Gnome and grinned in the manner that any earth spirit could.
Zelos frowned at Sheena and said, "Thanks a lot." Then he hugged Lloyd, "But Lloyd luffs me!" Zelos cried for the entire world to see on television.
Lloyd groaned with his embarrassment and gave a nervous chuckle, "He's funny, ok Zelos that enough. I don't want to be like Kratos…," Lloyd spat out before he realized what he said and he blanched.
The audience went, "OOooooo."
Kratos sank in his seat and Yuan whistled.
"Well, okie then," spoke Gnome and moved as fast as his plump self could move. "Five minutes chefs!"
So the scramble to finish the dishes was on. The wonderful aroma of the food was filling the set and the intensity of the countdown was contagious. The audience got a little restless and the judges talked among themselves. And even though Regal thought Colette and Raine would be the end of his cooking reputation he was surprised that there were few mishaps. Well okay Raine almost dumped a bottle of cayenne pepper in a dish and Colette almost used all the saffron for the pie. Regal felt like he was babysitting, it was taxing.
But he did have five awesome dishes that he hoped the judges would like. Plus Genis had this neat idea for displaying the spinach soup in cantaloupe halves made into bowls. The only tasks Regal gave Raine and Colette were stirring or mixing things, thankfully he intervened on the pastry dough. Because she was busy making heart shapes out of it when it was suppose to be for a pie. He felt drained; cooking five dishes in an hour was killer.
"TIMES UP!" yelled Gnome and the two teams stopped. "Ohh now's the unveiling of the dishes and first up for the judges is Regal Bryant!"
Regal nodded at the judges and explained the first dish, it was a spinach pie cooked in a casserole dish with an artistic pastry shell, with eggs and cheese.
Yuan seemed to find this part the most interesting, and nodded happily at the dish as he tasted it and gave Regal a thumbs up.
"There is a pickle taste to this, it's pleasant but surprising at first," Kratos said and heard a giggle from the crowd, he glared at Lloyd who was snickering loudly at him. "Lloyd, please," he said nonplussed.
"Um…err yeah I thought dill was an interesting spice to add," Regal frowned at Raine who tried to look sorry.
Forcystus enjoyed it as did Chocolat and Seles. They all mmmm'd and ahhh'd at the dishes and finally got to the dessert the spinach milkshake with strawberries and surprisingly it was colourful and sweet and smooth. It was a hit!
Regal beamed.
Now it was Wonder Chefs turn. He bowed and smiled his goofy toothy grin. He explained his five dishes and how he'd mastered each, years ago in his travels. His entourage all nodded and agreed to his every word.
The judges enjoyed his stuff and commented on his food with positive responses.
"Ugh there is a spinach stem in the cake," Forcystus complain pulling a stem out of his food.
The Wonder Chef glared at his team evilly. They cowered in fear.
Regal looked confused at the Wonder Chef's team and thought how strange of him to act so crass. But he returned his attention to the judges and listened to the rest of their comments, overall Wonder Chef put on a big fight.
"After the break we'll declare who the next Iron Wonder Chef is!" cried Gnome and came to face the chefs. "Alright now, no brawling, or hair pulling or kicking if the other loses or wins, got it? If you do I'll be forced to sit on ya," laughed the Gnome heartily.
"Booya baby!" went Zelos.
"Yea kick some ass!" Lloyd said in his rouge way.
"Show em what you're made of!" cheered Sheena.
"Wahoo, loop de do!" Presea said and the group all chuckled.
Regal smiled at the encouragement and cheers from his closets friends. And then came the time to find out who the judges picked. He held his breath.
"Alright you guys I have the winner in my paw right here. And the next Iron Wonder Chef is….REGAL BRYANT!" declared Gnome, his red ribbon bouncing.
Colette, Raine and Genis cheered and hugged Regal who was truly smiling for once. Even Lloyd, Presea, Sheena and Zelos jumped out of their seats and tackled their friends in celebration. They didn't see it when the Wonder Chef came after them with a meat cleaver.
"Hey! Security!" yelled Gnome and out came some big burly elves but Presea was quicker, she held her axe ready. The Wonder Chef screeched at the much larger blade and everyone turned to see what was going on.
"He was going to hurt you…I won't let him harm my friends," Presea said determinedly.
Standing in front of Presea and protecting her Regal said, "Something's not right about you Wonder Chef, I felt something askew since we got here."
The Wonder Chef growled and tore off a mask and revealed himself as the Dark Chef. "Foiled again! It's not fair!" cried the Dark Chef in his attempt to impostor as real Iron Wonder Chef champion. "How did I lose…?"
Regal thought about this and it was simple, "Because you don't cook with your heart." His friends nodded and someone placed the Iron Wonder Chef hat on him.
"Either way you won fair and square, your dishes won over the judges, so congratulations Regal," Gnome said and added when they were off air, "Fuck I need a drink," and left the set.
"Let's party guys, I need to dance and we need to celebrate!" cried Lloyd hopefully.
Regal's eyes widened and he groaned. "Please no peach schnapps this time." And the gang broke out in laughter at the last time they went dancing.
"Aww but you're such a fun drunk bud," Zelos put in and patted the big guy on the back.
"Well that may be so but I have had enough of a crazy day already, but I'll watch Lloyd break dance," Regal said snickering.
"And the best part of this whole day," Genis said, "Was Raine's cooking didn't kill any of the judges!"
SMACK!
"Smart ass," Raine grumbled.