One cloudy day in New York, Keely Teslow, and her 14 year old daughter, Dana Teslow-Diffy, sat in their Manhattan apartment living room. Dana sat at the piano matching "La's" to piano keys, and Keely was sitting in a chair with her guitar, writing lyrics to chords, when Phil came in.
"Hey, everyone." Phil said, setting down his briefcase.
"Hi honey." Keely said.
"Hey, Dad." Dana said.
Phil went to Keely and kissed her, then went to the piano and kissed Dana on the cheek.
"So, how were your days, my darlings?" Phil said.
"Great, Day and I went to Bloomingdale's, then the music store, Saks, and then we came home." Keely said.
"Yeah, mom is so awesome to shop with." Dana said smiling.
Dana resembled her mother in every way, except her hair color, it was brown like her father's. It was medium length, and she always wore it in the same ways her mother did.
Keely said, "I'm going to go sort the laundry."
"O.K." Phil said.
"Have fun," Dana said.
Phil went to the piano, and sat down next to Dana.
"So, Dad, why is my name Dana? Mom won't tell me, she says I'm named after someone very important, but she'll never tell me who."
"Dana, it's a very long story, I don't think-"
"Dana Mandy Teslow-Diffy!" Keely yelled from the laundry room.
"Uh-oh." Dana said.
Dana walked into the kitchen, and was very afraid to see what her mom wanted, after all, it couldn't be good, and she used her middle name.
"Yes?" Dana asked nervously.
"I specifically asked you not to ask your father to explain why you have your name; I told you that you were not old enough to understand the story, and what do you do? You ask your father anyway." Keely said.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to know, I didn't know it would make you so mad," Dana said.
"I guess it isn't that big of a deal, but I don't want you to disobey me like that again, O.K.?"
"Yes mom." Dana said.
Keely and Dana remained hugging in the kitchen for a very long time, when Phil yelled from the other room, "Keely, Dana, you have to come and see this!"
Keely and Dana ran into the living room, where Phil was watching the Channel 7 news.
"A crazed kidnapper, by the name of Tanner Kirkpatrick has escaped from prison today, he is sure to be in the Manhattan area. He is most likely after a woman named Keely Teslow, or her husband. But everyone should watch out for him, lock your doors and windows, and the police are searching for him at the moment." The news caster said.
"Oh, God, he escaped?" Keely said, so incredibly shocked.
"We have to re-locate." Phil said.
"Who is that?" Dana asked.
"No one. Phil, can I see you in the kitchen for a second?" Keely said.
"Uh, sure."
Phil and Keely talked in the kitchen for a very long time, leaving Dana in the living room. About an hour later, they rejoined Dana.
"Dana, we think you shouldn't leave the house for a while, just to be safe." Phil said
Dana could sense something was up, they freak out about this guy, whose name she had never heard before, escaped from prison, and now, she couldn't leave the house!
About three weeks later, Dana was free from house arrest, and needed to go outside, so Keely sent her to the drycleaners. One her way home, she was walking down a quite deserted street, when she heard someone calling, "Keely! Keely! Keely!" Dana didn't turn to see who is was, after all her name was not Keely. The person calling came up behind her, and grabbed her, and shoved her against the brick wall of a store.
"You thought you could escape me Keely, but you should have known I'd be back." the person said.
"Who are you?" Dana said.
"As if you don't know, Keely. You thought dying your hair would disguise you? Well, Sexy, nothing gets past me." the person said again.
"I'm serious, I don't know you, and I'm not Keely."
"Keely, I would recognize your face anywhere; I know you know me,"
"No, damn it, I don't."
The person pulled Dana away from the wall and stepped back so he could look at her.
"Hey, you're that crazy guy who escaped from prison. Tanner, Tanner-"
"Kirkpatrick, you knew me all along Keely,"
"No, this is the first time I've met you. And for the last time I'm NOT Keely! You demented prison scum."
Tanner hurled himself at Dana, covering her mouth, and telling her to not say another word or he would kill her. Dana was so afraid; she just did what he said.
Tanner hauled Dana into his car, after duck taping her mouth, and putting her in a burlap sack, of course. He drove for a long time, until they reached their destination, a run down ware-house somewhere in Queens, not the Bronx this time, because he knew that Phil would come looking for her here.
"Here we are, Keely."
Tanner dumped Dana out of the sack, and tied her to a chair.
"Now, Keely, I'm going to rip this duck tape off, and if you scream, or anything like that, I'll put 7 layers on, and God only knows what that could do to your beautiful complexion." Tanner said.
"OW!" Dana yelled.
"Now, tell me, hoe have you been the last 14 years?" Tanner said
"Um, good." Dana answered
"Well, have you been in prison with down-right disgusting in-mates? No, you've been livin' large with your asshole lover."
"Excuse me?"
"You know, Phil, why, have you broken up?"
"Ewe, no, gross."
"Gross? You find him gross? My prayers have been answered."
"No, not gross, I just don't think of him in that way."
"Wh-"
"Boss, may we have a word?" A giant thug said,
"Yes, P.?" Tanner said.
Dana watched them talk in disgust; she couldn't believe this was actually happening, to her of all people.
"Keely, now, where were we? Ah, you don't think of Phil as your lover, why not?"
"Because, don't only farmers think of their fathers as their lovers?"
"I think I'm misunderstanding you, your father?"
"Yes, I'm not Keely, Keely is my mother, I'm Dana, Phil and Keely's daughter."
"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!" Tanner said dropping the beer bottle he was holding, on the ground, and it shattered into a million pieces.
"SHE'S YOUR MOTHER?"
"Yes,"
"THEY HAVE A CHILD!"
"Yes,"
"AND YOU'RE HOW OLD!"
"14."
"SO YOU WERE BORN A FEW MONTHS AFTER I WENT TO PRISON?"
"Yes."
"WHY!" Tanner said taking a mirror off the wall and smashing it on the floor,
"Tanner, calm down, O.K., you shouldn't be mad at the kid O.K., she didn't have sex with Phil, and then give birth to this kid, or Dana. So don't take this out on her," P. said.
"Shut up! I intend to kill this bitch because of what she represents, Phil and Keely."
"You can't kill her,"
"I'll fricking kill her if I feel like it, and if you don't watch it, I'll kill you too."
"Yes Boss."
Meanwhile, at Phil and Keely's apartment.
"Phil, Dana has been gone a long time, should we be worried?" Keely said
"Yeah, but if we were to go looking for her, where would we look?" Phil said.
"I don't know, Phil I'm so scared, what if Tanner finds Dana? She looks a lot like me, he could kidnap her thinking she's me, numerous horrible things could be happening, Phil what are we going to do?" Keely said starting to cry.
"Keel, we have to pray that she didn't get into Tanner's hands."
"Please don't phrase it like that,"
"Sorry, that Tanner didn't kidnap her."
"Thank-you,"
About a week later, Dana had had no food, or water, she was beginning to get weary. Phil and Keely were panicking, and Tanner was so furious, he was throwing things, and breaking things, P. worried about the safety of Dana. Tanner was so frightening, P. worried he would just take a bat and club Dana with it. He had to do something, help her escape, or kill Tanner, he felt terrible for Dana, she was only a child, away from her parents no food, and no water, she was just sitting there, toed to a chair while the demented psycho Tanner went insane around her. As he watched how weird Tanner was becoming, fear became greater in Dana's eyes, she was terrified that he would just snap, and then she would die. The other thug seemed to notice how bad he felt for Dana, and was almost going to inform Tanner, but, he was afraid if he did, Tanner would kill P. right on the spot, and he didn't want to lose his closet friend, so he kept his mouth shut.
A few days later, P. had had enough. He had to get Dana out of here, Tanner was starting to resemble Anakin from star wars, when he turned to the dark side, and had those red eyes. And just looking at them made Dana turn away. Something had to be done, and fast. P. would break her out later that night.
Later that night, Dana was trying to sleep tied to a chair, it was not an easy task. When P. approached her, and whispered, "Hey, I'm breaking you out of here."
"What! What if he sees, he'll kill me, or both of us." Dana whispered back.
"I can handle him, just come with me." P. said.
"O.K." Dana reluctantly let P. untie her, and they ran out of the ware-house, and to P.'s truck. It was red and shiny, it reminded Dana of her dad's car.
"So, are you happy to be goin' back home?" P. said to Dana, starting the car.
"Yeah, thank-you so much for breaking me out, Tanner probably would have killed me," Dana said.
"Well, I have to admit, I felt bad for you, you hadn't done anything wrong, you just have an uncanny resemblance to your mother, and you're only a kid, and shouldn't be kept here, and when Boss, ur, Tanner found out you were Phil and Keely's daughter, I was so afraid he was just going to kill you."
"Me too,"
Dana and P. didn't talk much the rest of the drive back to Manhattan, it was fairly quite, and Dana was thinking about how great it would be to see her parents again. At about 3:00 A.M. they arrived at Phil and Keely's apartment. Phil and Keely had fallen asleep together on the couch. P. took Dana to the door, and knocked on it. Phil and Keely both jumped.
"Oh my God, who's that?" Keely said terrified.
"I'll check." Phil said.
Phil went to the door and looked out the window next to it, and saw P. with Dana.
"Oh my God, it's Dana, and a large man, that- Oh my God, that's one of Tanner's thugs that kidnapped me." Phil said shocked.
"No way. We have to get Dana, ask him what he wants."
"O.K. What do you want?" Phil said.
"Dad it's me, and this is P., he brought me back, Tanner kidnapped me, but I'm O.K. now," Dana said
"Oh, my God, Dana?" Keely said,
"Yes, mom?" Dana said.
"Oh my God, Phil, open the door,"
"But, what if-"
"Just open it!"
"O.K., O.K."
Phil reluctantly opened the front door, and there stood, P. and Dana.
"Dana," Keely said hugging her.
"Dana, are you O.K.?" Phil said, joining Keely and Dana hugging.
"I'm fine, now." Dana said smiling at P.
"Well, we have to call the police, now." P. said, "Before he has a chance to escape" he continued,
"Phil," Keely said.
"I'm on it." Phil said.
Dana and Keely talked to P. and Dana explained that it wasn't P. who had kidnapped her, but it was Tanner. After Phil called the police, they arrived at the apartment, and questioned Dana and P. After a long time, P. led the police to the ware-house, and they arrested Tanner, again. This time, Tanner had to stay in an insane asylum, and jail. But just to be safe, Keely, Phil, and Dana we to relocate.
"I'm going to miss New York." Dana said.
"We all are, sweetheart." Keely said.
"Where are we moving?" Dana asked.
"Bel-Air," Phil said.
"Now this is the story all about how," Dana started,
Soon, they were all singing "The fresh prince of Bel-Air" theme song. Then, when they were leaving to go to the airport Dana said, "Dad, what about P.? If Tanner escapes again he'll find him."
"Well, we'll have to take him with us," Phil said.
P. agreed to be the Teslow-Diffy's butler in their new mansion in Bel-Air, Los Angles. Phil, Keely, Dana, and P. all lived happily ever after.
The End