I Don't Know What to Say to You

by flytoms

Inability to communicate

I don't know what to say to you.

Something's different about you hair

The same color,

The same shimmer.

But I swear it looks different today.

Your mouth opens and closes

You've carefully chosen you words.

You think before you speak

That's what I admire about you

You teach me how to think before I act.

With patience.

Occasionally I nod my head.

You realize I'm not listening

But you're not angry

You simply smile.

And then you leave.

If I could move I would follow you

But I can't.

I watch as you walk away.

I can hear your footsteps,

The sound becomes duller

With every inch you gain.

I know you're leaving

But I'm not sure I understand.

I would follow you anywhere

I've been following you since I met you.

Something draws me to you.

I am a moth and you my flame

And I don't resist

I don't know how…

I simply trust you.

Like I hope you trust me.

We take turns walking blind folded.

Waiting for the other to guide us

Unknowingly.

I wait for you,

To come back to me.

Come guide me.

I want o call out your mane

But it would give me away.

Your name on my lips

Would sow them who I am.

Who I've always wanted to be.

I can't let that happen.

Or can I, you tell me

Can I say the words?

Tell me what I can say.

Eventually I see your face,

Your strength,

Your spirit,

Your smile.

It speaks more than my words ever could.

You look me in the eyes

Conveying what you're not allowed to vocalize.

I get the message.

And another one.

A message you didn't intend to send.

You don't know

That I am holding the envelope in my hands,

That I am about to open it,

Read what's written there.

Would you try to hold me back?

Would you take it from me?

Would you read it to me?

I know your secret

And I'll keep it with me

Forever.

I promise.

You can smile all you want

I never break a promise.

I promised you to remain silent

I am so quiet, I am hardly breathing.

I only say as much as I am allowed to say.

I ask about work,

I crack a joke,

I even try myself at a compliment…

I shouldn't have.

You frown.

I long for your smile to return.

I'm sorry.

Bit I wont take it back

I really like your hair today.