The new and improved- A Better Heaven
Sorry I haven't been updating Numb lately. I've had huge writer's block, and I have come to the conclusion that this story has been going entirely in the wrong direction. So, now I restart this story with a new fresh outlook. Do me a favor-please ignore the first three chapters I posted earlier. The storyline will be mostly the same, just with a different look and brandy new title!! *claps* Ok, onward!
Chapter 1- The Better Part of Me
(Roger's POV)
God, it felt so good, just so fucking good. The rush, the addiction, the cravings.it was part of my reality. The Roger Davis reality. The reality that heroin was the driving force in my life. That, and April. My beautiful, sexy, April. God, I loved her. Even now, I was thrusting in and out of her, raising and heightening this fantastic pleasure. Cries and moans escaped her lips as we both came together and fell back hard against the pillows. April curled up against me after I got off her, and my arms went automatically around her.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now.
"Jesus, Roger." she breathed.
"Yeah." I said, unable to think of anything more to say.
We lay there silently in the dark, just breathing. I couldn't imagine a better heaven than this.
"I love you." I whispered into her long, red, hair.
"Do you?" she asked me quietly.
This question didn't surprise me. Times had been rough lately. The Well Hungarians were taking up so much time, and April had been taking a backseat. The past month, all she had been was my nightly fuck.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight...
"Baby, you know I do. You know the band." I started soothingly.
"Yeah I know, your fucking band. Do I matter anymore, Roger?" she asked me sadly, sitting up in bed.
"April, you're the better part of me. Without you."
"Your band life would go smoother," she cut in, "And there'd be no more nagging girlfriend."
She got out of bed and put on her discarded jeans and sweatshirt.
"April, baby, come here." I said.
"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." April said softly. "Goodnight, babe."
She left the room quickly, as if she were afraid that false hope would bring her back. I turned over and rested my head where hers had been. It smelled like flowers and cherries. I could hear April say something to Mark from inside my room. She sounded tired, Mark sounded concerned. I sighed. I couldn't lose her, ever. She meant so much.and I was giving her so little. Closing my eyes, I resolved to begin anew.tomorrow.
(April's POV)
You were a poison in my veins, babe. I loved you more than you could possibly imagine, but now you're turning me away. You were only around to screw me now.fucking or shooting up. The shooting up was the only time our problems seemed nonexistent. I sighed, and buried my face in the musty couch. Tears slid unchecked down my face. Another night alone.
And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
"I love you Roger." I whispered.
"I'm sure he loves you too." Mark's voice came from above me.
I flipped over and looked up at Mark, who was hovering over me.
"How can you be so sure though? He's snubbed you too." I sniffed.
"Yeah.but he knows I'll always be there for him."
"Yeah? Well, maybe I won't!" I said, angrily wiping at my tears.
Mark put a comforting arm around me.
"Don't say that. You love him, even if it seems wrong. Things will get better, I promise." Mark said consolingly.
"Thanks, Mark." I whispered, and hugged his arm.
He smiled, and I giggled.
"There's that smile.the one Roger always talks about." Mark said almost longingly.
I looked at him questioningly.
"He always talk about your smile when we're alone. It just.makes him happy. You're the light of his life."
I laughed softly. Mark was such a nice guy. He was like that big soft teddy bear that you'd see in the toy store and want to take it home.
"It's late, April," Mark said, "I'm going to bed."
I nodded. "Thanks."
"Anytime. Now go to sleep." Mark told me.
(Mark's POV)
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.
I left the living room feeling empty inside. God, I wanted her so badly. Ever since we had met, when Roger brought her home that first night, I had loved her. She was spontaneous, loving, beautiful.everything I had never deemed myself worthy of. It pissed me off no end that Roger was treating her like a two-bit whore. She deserved so much more than that. Of course, I never told that exact thought to April. I didn't want her to think she was wrong when she wasn't.
"Mark.you awake?" Roger's voice called from outside my door.
"Yup."
"Can I come in?"
"Do you ever ask permission?" I asked in annoyance.
Roger opened the door and flopped on the edge of my bed. We sat there in silence, in the dark, for a few minutes. I knew what he came here for, and I knew what question lie on the tip of his tongue. It was only a matter of time before he gained the courage to ask me.
"How is April?" Roger finally asked timidly.
So, he had caught on finally.I guess he heard us talking from his bedroom. The way he said April's name was loving and caring, yet it grated horribly on my ears.
"Funny you should ask me. Why not ask her? Or," I said, my anger rising, "Why not show her you love her? Why not make it all up to her?"
"I'm trying Mark, but the Well Hungarians are on a high note, and April needs to understand that my time is going to be limited for a while."
"A while? Jesus Christ, Roger, a while?" I exploded, "What you need to understand is that there is one hell of a lonely, sad, scared girl out there who, though I can't see why, loves you! You're going to end up losing that love if you keep this up.so go to her."
Roger looked at me for a minute and then said, "What if she doesn't believe me.what if she stopped caring?"
Even though my heart, for some reason, went out to my best friend, I was still angry at him. I knew April wouldn't have stopped loving him. It was too hard to do, and when she loved, she loved hard. I hoped for his sake she didn't hate hard too.
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
"Not my problem, buddy." I said harsher than I'd intended.
"Yea.well, I'm going to go talk to her, dude." Roger said softly before getting up and leaving the room.
Sorry I haven't been updating Numb lately. I've had huge writer's block, and I have come to the conclusion that this story has been going entirely in the wrong direction. So, now I restart this story with a new fresh outlook. Do me a favor-please ignore the first three chapters I posted earlier. The storyline will be mostly the same, just with a different look and brandy new title!! *claps* Ok, onward!
Chapter 1- The Better Part of Me
(Roger's POV)
God, it felt so good, just so fucking good. The rush, the addiction, the cravings.it was part of my reality. The Roger Davis reality. The reality that heroin was the driving force in my life. That, and April. My beautiful, sexy, April. God, I loved her. Even now, I was thrusting in and out of her, raising and heightening this fantastic pleasure. Cries and moans escaped her lips as we both came together and fell back hard against the pillows. April curled up against me after I got off her, and my arms went automatically around her.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now.
"Jesus, Roger." she breathed.
"Yeah." I said, unable to think of anything more to say.
We lay there silently in the dark, just breathing. I couldn't imagine a better heaven than this.
"I love you." I whispered into her long, red, hair.
"Do you?" she asked me quietly.
This question didn't surprise me. Times had been rough lately. The Well Hungarians were taking up so much time, and April had been taking a backseat. The past month, all she had been was my nightly fuck.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight...
"Baby, you know I do. You know the band." I started soothingly.
"Yeah I know, your fucking band. Do I matter anymore, Roger?" she asked me sadly, sitting up in bed.
"April, you're the better part of me. Without you."
"Your band life would go smoother," she cut in, "And there'd be no more nagging girlfriend."
She got out of bed and put on her discarded jeans and sweatshirt.
"April, baby, come here." I said.
"I'll sleep on the couch tonight." April said softly. "Goodnight, babe."
She left the room quickly, as if she were afraid that false hope would bring her back. I turned over and rested my head where hers had been. It smelled like flowers and cherries. I could hear April say something to Mark from inside my room. She sounded tired, Mark sounded concerned. I sighed. I couldn't lose her, ever. She meant so much.and I was giving her so little. Closing my eyes, I resolved to begin anew.tomorrow.
(April's POV)
You were a poison in my veins, babe. I loved you more than you could possibly imagine, but now you're turning me away. You were only around to screw me now.fucking or shooting up. The shooting up was the only time our problems seemed nonexistent. I sighed, and buried my face in the musty couch. Tears slid unchecked down my face. Another night alone.
And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
"I love you Roger." I whispered.
"I'm sure he loves you too." Mark's voice came from above me.
I flipped over and looked up at Mark, who was hovering over me.
"How can you be so sure though? He's snubbed you too." I sniffed.
"Yeah.but he knows I'll always be there for him."
"Yeah? Well, maybe I won't!" I said, angrily wiping at my tears.
Mark put a comforting arm around me.
"Don't say that. You love him, even if it seems wrong. Things will get better, I promise." Mark said consolingly.
"Thanks, Mark." I whispered, and hugged his arm.
He smiled, and I giggled.
"There's that smile.the one Roger always talks about." Mark said almost longingly.
I looked at him questioningly.
"He always talk about your smile when we're alone. It just.makes him happy. You're the light of his life."
I laughed softly. Mark was such a nice guy. He was like that big soft teddy bear that you'd see in the toy store and want to take it home.
"It's late, April," Mark said, "I'm going to bed."
I nodded. "Thanks."
"Anytime. Now go to sleep." Mark told me.
(Mark's POV)
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.
I left the living room feeling empty inside. God, I wanted her so badly. Ever since we had met, when Roger brought her home that first night, I had loved her. She was spontaneous, loving, beautiful.everything I had never deemed myself worthy of. It pissed me off no end that Roger was treating her like a two-bit whore. She deserved so much more than that. Of course, I never told that exact thought to April. I didn't want her to think she was wrong when she wasn't.
"Mark.you awake?" Roger's voice called from outside my door.
"Yup."
"Can I come in?"
"Do you ever ask permission?" I asked in annoyance.
Roger opened the door and flopped on the edge of my bed. We sat there in silence, in the dark, for a few minutes. I knew what he came here for, and I knew what question lie on the tip of his tongue. It was only a matter of time before he gained the courage to ask me.
"How is April?" Roger finally asked timidly.
So, he had caught on finally.I guess he heard us talking from his bedroom. The way he said April's name was loving and caring, yet it grated horribly on my ears.
"Funny you should ask me. Why not ask her? Or," I said, my anger rising, "Why not show her you love her? Why not make it all up to her?"
"I'm trying Mark, but the Well Hungarians are on a high note, and April needs to understand that my time is going to be limited for a while."
"A while? Jesus Christ, Roger, a while?" I exploded, "What you need to understand is that there is one hell of a lonely, sad, scared girl out there who, though I can't see why, loves you! You're going to end up losing that love if you keep this up.so go to her."
Roger looked at me for a minute and then said, "What if she doesn't believe me.what if she stopped caring?"
Even though my heart, for some reason, went out to my best friend, I was still angry at him. I knew April wouldn't have stopped loving him. It was too hard to do, and when she loved, she loved hard. I hoped for his sake she didn't hate hard too.
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
"Not my problem, buddy." I said harsher than I'd intended.
"Yea.well, I'm going to go talk to her, dude." Roger said softly before getting up and leaving the room.