Chapter 10
Christine was frightened. She knew that Raoul would have no reason to be suspicious of her pregnancy, but Erik did have some of the dark gypsy blood in him. If things remained the same, would their child betray them? She was also afraid of the deformity that had plagued Erik, surely she thought this child would not inherit such a thing, but was it possible?
She confided in Miranda. Miranda had suspected this and asked if it were possible that the child was Raoul's. "It is possible she said, but I know this is Erik's child. It would be too soon to be Raoul's," she said, "but it is close enough…"
"Then you must simply wait. Erik wishes you to be happy, it is his only concern, if this is how it must be, then so be it. If things do not go well, he will have the resources for you to disappear, but it will be a hard way to raise a child. Christine, you should at least give Raoul the chance to accept the situation if it does turn out very obvious who the father is. Although his desire is back, it will still be enormously difficult for you and Raul to conceive children and you both want a family so badly. Erik will be alright however it turns outif he still has you. I know he would like to have things different, as you would, but I can't see a normal life for you at this point, unless you simply tell him to go. He would leave here for your sake."
Christine had been thinking the same things, but was relieved to hear Miranda confirm them. " I know Miranda, I did once, let him go, I can't do that again. This seems to be the only way. I know it is not right in the laws of the church, but what happened to Erik was not right either. I am sorry to say Miranda that I have lost my faith, and only wish to do my best not to cause pain and suffering, to anyone. We will do our best every day of our lives Miranda. I hope you can forgive me."
"I don't know about the laws of the church, but I know what is best for my daughter. And I know the pain you have both suffered. I became pregnant to a man while not under gods law of marriage. We ran. His parents found out and enlisted him in the army, he was sent to a distant country. They sent me back to the Opera house, paid me off. I never saw him again." She said with a grim look, "If that was the will of God, then I don't care much for those laws myself."
"You were never married Miranda?", she said incredulously.
" No." When I got back to the dormitory, I made up the story, that we were married and that he was back on duty. I later added his death. I do not know what became of himif he is alive. I could never be involved with another man. You are lucky Christine to have two caring, intelligent men who care for you so much. It will be a delicate web, but I believe Raoul will come to know on some level, your relationship with Erik, and accept it. He is French after all, and less restricted by societal bounds than most men I know. He would never have married you Christine, if he cared much for the repressive rules of this society. He also wishes for your happiness and would want you to have what he cannot give you. That night during the Don Juan performance I was watching him. I could see he understood then, your love for Erik. This has not been a normal circumstance for anyone. You do want children… have them, and live a full and happy life. Someday maybe you will let this child know their true father."
" I think you are right Miranda, she said. "I will wait for Erik to come home before I tell Raoul that I am with child. I have not started to show any signs, Erik will be back soon."
Christine went back to the children, who loved their "new" teacher. Miranda's school had grown in class size and soon she would have to find somewhere to accommodate bigger performances. Well, she thought amusedly, he will certainly be around for awhile, Erik might as well make the Opera house presentable.