Chapter 12- Won't Ask Twice
Hey-hey! Hope everyone liked the last chapter, and thanks for the reviews! I'm trying to update as frequently as I can, especially cause the story's starting to get wicked juicy. Anyway, the song for this chapter is I Could Fall In Love, by Selena. Also, Roger and April are going to have a distinctly short POV this time around- sorry, guys!
(Mark's POV)
[I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay...]
I woke up next to April on the couch, unaware and not caring what would happen if Roger had found us like this in the middle of the night. We lay entangled in a mass of arms and legs, half- naked. I could smell the scent of her hair as she lay enfolded in my arms. God, I loved this woman...she was...amazing, to say the very least, and so very mistreated by someone whom she loved and was supposed to love her back. I couldn't deny though, that lately, she was Roger's little queen. They seemed happier than ever before...so why was I, or her for that matter, so willing to fuck it up?
"Mark?" she asked me sleepily, raising her head to look at me.
"Hey, gorgeous, you're awake." I whispered and stroked her face.
She seemed a bit taken aback by the sudden exploitation of affection, but smiled anyway.
"We should go to bed. If Roger comes out here..."
"I know." I said, my face falling.
"Oh, Mark," April said, cradling my head in her arms, "I know this sucks. Please, be patient. I swear you won't regret it."
[Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
Silently, we got up and got dressed. I watched her move, amazed by the fluidity with which her limbs moved; the way her muscles rippled gracefully. It seemed like such a funny thing to notice, but it was just one more facet of her beauty; one more reason I loved her. I wanted to just take hold of her and crush her in my arms and beg her not to go into Roger's bed. I couldn't take the knowledge that as soon as she went into his bed, the same thing would happen all over again- it was Roger and April, his girlfriend, two lovers...
"April..." I started.
"Mm?"
"Please...please, don't go." I begged, trying to take hold of the emotions that had suddenly gone awry.
April sighed and came over to me. "Mark, we went over this..."
"I know, but I can't stand this...why can't you just choose one or the other? Him or me?" I asked pathetically.
"Mark, try to understand. I love him and I really...care for you. This is hard enough without you trying for force a decision on me. Now, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning." April said, and walked down the hallway to her and Roger's room.
I got dressed, but didn't move after that. Instead, I fell back on the couch and clung to the scent of her hair and the warmth from where her body lay. I wanted to follow her into the room, curl up next to her, and fall asleep unnoticed. But, as I heard sounds of laughter and love coming from that same room, I knew tonight was a night for loneliness...but what night in my life wasn't? I knew how the routine would go- April would play the dutiful role of Roger's girlfriend by day; seductive in her whirlwind affair with me during passionate nights. Every time she kissed me, every time I touched her; would thrust into her body, I wanted to burst out sobbing for lack of real love...and for the guilt that boiled in my veins. I almost wished for Roger to walk in and find me fucking April. Anything to further deaden the hollowness I felt inside. Weeks passed...
"Hey, sexy." April purred in my ear one evening when Roger was in the bathroom.
We were all sitting around the kitchen table playing poker. Roger had excused himself to take a piss which culminated in a frantic make out session between April and I while he was away.
[I could only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still...]
April nibbled on my ear while I caressed the breasts that lay beneath her shirt.
"So, come to a decision yet?" I asked, breathlessly pulling away from her.
April's eyes had taken on a hungry look. "Um...yeah, maybe."
I bit the side of her neck. "And the verdict is?"
April pushed me away in frustration. "God, Mark! Why can't you wait and just fucking take it as it comes? Why do you keep putting all this pressure on me?"
I crossed my arms. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because it won't be too much longer before Roger finds out I'm fucking his fiancé? Just a guess, though."
She sighed, and hitched her shirt up over her breasts. "I'll know when the times comes what to do. Things between him and I have been so great lately..."
"Except when you're off fucking me. Just a question, but did you ever think that if you're off screwing his best friend, that maybe, just maybe, things weren't that great after all?"
Roger returned at that moment.
"Hey, baby. Miss me?" he asked jokingly. "Whose deal?"
"Mine," April replied, shuffling the cards. "And oh God, yes, I missed you so badly."
"Thanks for that vote of support." Roger said, pretending to be hurt.
"Anytime!" she said, kissing him on the lips.
April dealt the cards quickly. I looked at mine- two aces, the queen of spades, the two of clubs, and the ten of clubs.
"Hey, sweetie? What's that on your neck?" Roger asked curiously.
She laughed nervously. "What? Oh, that's the one you gave me last night."
Roger shook his head slowly. "Nope, I definitely did not do that. That wasn't there before."
I felt my stomach drop, and my hands gripped the cards so hard that sweat broke out. No, he couldn't find out...not here, not now, not even before she decided what she wanted to do...
[So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know...]
"Yes, it was. It was covered by my hair." April was saying to him.
"No, it wasn't. April, I think I'd remember whether that was something I had given you, and when I do you usually chew me out- and you haven't for this one. What the hell is going on?" Roger asked slowly.
"So!" I said brightly, "April, I need three new cards." I said, throwing away my two, ten, and queen.
Roger looked at me suspiciously, and then tossed his whole hand on the table. "New hand."
April put in two cards, and then handed new cards to each of us. April's face fell as she looked at her new hand. Roger's face lit up slightly, and mine...let's say I had a good poker face. I needed one.
"I fold." April said in disgust.
I glanced over at Roger, who had been watching me the whole time. He seemed to be watching everything I said, anything I did...
"Three of a kind- jacks." Roger said. "Read em, and weep."
He shot me a look. "Whatcha got, Marky? Betcha you can't beat that...I think you've got nothing, I bet you have jack shit."
I glared at him. "Really, Roger? That what I have- or what I am?"
"How about both?" he challenged.
"Guys, come on..." April started.
But it was all over now. Roger had picked up on something, somewhere- maybe the mark on April's neck, maybe the way her shirt was still slightly skewed...maybe the way we had been acting the past few weeks...guilty, like we had something to hide...and now we were playing for keeps; this silly poker game nothing but a metaphor for 'she's my girl'. I spread my hand out on the table...
[I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
"Four of a kind- aces!" I said triumphantly. "I win!"
Roger sat back as April crowed in victory...but whose victory was it, really?
"You win..." Roger whispered. Then he stalked off to his room.
(Roger's POV)
I lay on my bed, head stuffed inside my pillow. This was so stupid. My mind was overreacting on overdrive- there were too many stupid fantasies I had that weren't true, no matter what my mind wanted to think. Of course April wasn't cheating on me with Mark? Why would she? Mark? Jesus, if she was going to, at least she'd hopefully do better than that!
[And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try...]
Or maybe...maybe she was. Like that hickey on her neck during the poker game- I knew I sure as hell didn't give that to her! Well...there was always the chance that I had and that I just didn't remember and she just didn't chew me out. But still...something didn't seem right; something was out of place. There was something distinctly unreal about the whole situation. They had gotten closer lately, April and Mark. I mean, if they were getting to be better friends, that was awesome...but it didn't seem like that's what was going on exactly. Christ, first the incident with the drug dealer, now this? Maybe Maureen was right, maybe...
Fuck that. No, it wasn't possible; it wasn't real. There was no way in hell that this could ever happen. We were getting married! People who are engaged don't do this sort of thing...right? Right.
"Wrong!" I muttered. "Dammit!"
In a fit of rage, I grabbed the picture of April and I that was on the nightstand and threw it across the room. The frame that we had just gotten to replace the old one shattered into a million pieces and the glass cut the picture into jagged strips. A piece of glass went flying and hit me, dragging its sharp edge down my arm.
"Shit!" I yelled, and grabbed an old T-shirt to stop the bleeding.
It was then that I realized that I liked the hurt; liked the feeling of feeling pain. Maybe I wasn't completely numb this way...and so I grabbed another piece and dug it further into my cut. The pain was searing and tears came to my eyes as I barely stood the pain. But it soon subsided...and then there was another piece of glass, and another, and another, and another...and the pain I felt in my arm still was not enough to quench the pain I felt everywhere else in my soul.
[To do what I should do
But I could fall in love
Fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
(April's POV)
"Mark, maybe it's time that I decide what to do..." I said quietly as Roger stormed from the table.
"April, you know how you feel about this- do it when you're ready..." Mark murmured, stroking my hair.
He pulled me with him to the couch and started kissing my neck.
"Isn't this what got us in trouble in the first place?" I half-laughed.
[I'm always dreaming of you
Kissing my lips, caressing my skin
Hugging me with crazy longings
Imagining that you love me the way I could love you...]
"Oh well..." he replied softly.
I tumbled into his arms, and we lay there for a while. Finally, Mark looked up at me.
"Any decisions yet?" Mark wanted to know.
"Maybe..."
"Well, let me influence that decision just a little..." he said softly. "Marry me."
I nearly spit out the piece of gum I had been chewing for the past three hours.
"What? Mark, are you crazy? I mean, what are you thinking? That could never happen! Roger would flip, and it'd have to be secret, and I can't leave him, and..."
Mark gently cupped a hand over my mouth.
"I didn't ask for the consequences. I asked for you to marry me. It's a one- word answer. I can't promise you more than an honest, open, loving heart filled with boundless love for you. I will spend the rest of my days trying to make you happier than you've ever been before. I know this sounds nuts, but the past few weeks have been...nuts. And I can feel a connection, I know something is there...there has to be. Please, tell me something is there!" he said.
[So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
"Oh, Mark..." I sighed.
"April. I won't ask you twice. Marry me."
I gazed into his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of grayish blue...and I could see my face reflected in them. My own plain face somehow looked like a goddess in his eyes...it was like looking in Snow White's magic mirror. Mirror, mirror on the wall...what path should I choose before I fall...
[I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
Hey-hey! Hope everyone liked the last chapter, and thanks for the reviews! I'm trying to update as frequently as I can, especially cause the story's starting to get wicked juicy. Anyway, the song for this chapter is I Could Fall In Love, by Selena. Also, Roger and April are going to have a distinctly short POV this time around- sorry, guys!
(Mark's POV)
[I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay...]
I woke up next to April on the couch, unaware and not caring what would happen if Roger had found us like this in the middle of the night. We lay entangled in a mass of arms and legs, half- naked. I could smell the scent of her hair as she lay enfolded in my arms. God, I loved this woman...she was...amazing, to say the very least, and so very mistreated by someone whom she loved and was supposed to love her back. I couldn't deny though, that lately, she was Roger's little queen. They seemed happier than ever before...so why was I, or her for that matter, so willing to fuck it up?
"Mark?" she asked me sleepily, raising her head to look at me.
"Hey, gorgeous, you're awake." I whispered and stroked her face.
She seemed a bit taken aback by the sudden exploitation of affection, but smiled anyway.
"We should go to bed. If Roger comes out here..."
"I know." I said, my face falling.
"Oh, Mark," April said, cradling my head in her arms, "I know this sucks. Please, be patient. I swear you won't regret it."
[Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
Silently, we got up and got dressed. I watched her move, amazed by the fluidity with which her limbs moved; the way her muscles rippled gracefully. It seemed like such a funny thing to notice, but it was just one more facet of her beauty; one more reason I loved her. I wanted to just take hold of her and crush her in my arms and beg her not to go into Roger's bed. I couldn't take the knowledge that as soon as she went into his bed, the same thing would happen all over again- it was Roger and April, his girlfriend, two lovers...
"April..." I started.
"Mm?"
"Please...please, don't go." I begged, trying to take hold of the emotions that had suddenly gone awry.
April sighed and came over to me. "Mark, we went over this..."
"I know, but I can't stand this...why can't you just choose one or the other? Him or me?" I asked pathetically.
"Mark, try to understand. I love him and I really...care for you. This is hard enough without you trying for force a decision on me. Now, I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning." April said, and walked down the hallway to her and Roger's room.
I got dressed, but didn't move after that. Instead, I fell back on the couch and clung to the scent of her hair and the warmth from where her body lay. I wanted to follow her into the room, curl up next to her, and fall asleep unnoticed. But, as I heard sounds of laughter and love coming from that same room, I knew tonight was a night for loneliness...but what night in my life wasn't? I knew how the routine would go- April would play the dutiful role of Roger's girlfriend by day; seductive in her whirlwind affair with me during passionate nights. Every time she kissed me, every time I touched her; would thrust into her body, I wanted to burst out sobbing for lack of real love...and for the guilt that boiled in my veins. I almost wished for Roger to walk in and find me fucking April. Anything to further deaden the hollowness I felt inside. Weeks passed...
"Hey, sexy." April purred in my ear one evening when Roger was in the bathroom.
We were all sitting around the kitchen table playing poker. Roger had excused himself to take a piss which culminated in a frantic make out session between April and I while he was away.
[I could only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still...]
April nibbled on my ear while I caressed the breasts that lay beneath her shirt.
"So, come to a decision yet?" I asked, breathlessly pulling away from her.
April's eyes had taken on a hungry look. "Um...yeah, maybe."
I bit the side of her neck. "And the verdict is?"
April pushed me away in frustration. "God, Mark! Why can't you wait and just fucking take it as it comes? Why do you keep putting all this pressure on me?"
I crossed my arms. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because it won't be too much longer before Roger finds out I'm fucking his fiancé? Just a guess, though."
She sighed, and hitched her shirt up over her breasts. "I'll know when the times comes what to do. Things between him and I have been so great lately..."
"Except when you're off fucking me. Just a question, but did you ever think that if you're off screwing his best friend, that maybe, just maybe, things weren't that great after all?"
Roger returned at that moment.
"Hey, baby. Miss me?" he asked jokingly. "Whose deal?"
"Mine," April replied, shuffling the cards. "And oh God, yes, I missed you so badly."
"Thanks for that vote of support." Roger said, pretending to be hurt.
"Anytime!" she said, kissing him on the lips.
April dealt the cards quickly. I looked at mine- two aces, the queen of spades, the two of clubs, and the ten of clubs.
"Hey, sweetie? What's that on your neck?" Roger asked curiously.
She laughed nervously. "What? Oh, that's the one you gave me last night."
Roger shook his head slowly. "Nope, I definitely did not do that. That wasn't there before."
I felt my stomach drop, and my hands gripped the cards so hard that sweat broke out. No, he couldn't find out...not here, not now, not even before she decided what she wanted to do...
[So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know...]
"Yes, it was. It was covered by my hair." April was saying to him.
"No, it wasn't. April, I think I'd remember whether that was something I had given you, and when I do you usually chew me out- and you haven't for this one. What the hell is going on?" Roger asked slowly.
"So!" I said brightly, "April, I need three new cards." I said, throwing away my two, ten, and queen.
Roger looked at me suspiciously, and then tossed his whole hand on the table. "New hand."
April put in two cards, and then handed new cards to each of us. April's face fell as she looked at her new hand. Roger's face lit up slightly, and mine...let's say I had a good poker face. I needed one.
"I fold." April said in disgust.
I glanced over at Roger, who had been watching me the whole time. He seemed to be watching everything I said, anything I did...
"Three of a kind- jacks." Roger said. "Read em, and weep."
He shot me a look. "Whatcha got, Marky? Betcha you can't beat that...I think you've got nothing, I bet you have jack shit."
I glared at him. "Really, Roger? That what I have- or what I am?"
"How about both?" he challenged.
"Guys, come on..." April started.
But it was all over now. Roger had picked up on something, somewhere- maybe the mark on April's neck, maybe the way her shirt was still slightly skewed...maybe the way we had been acting the past few weeks...guilty, like we had something to hide...and now we were playing for keeps; this silly poker game nothing but a metaphor for 'she's my girl'. I spread my hand out on the table...
[I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
"Four of a kind- aces!" I said triumphantly. "I win!"
Roger sat back as April crowed in victory...but whose victory was it, really?
"You win..." Roger whispered. Then he stalked off to his room.
(Roger's POV)
I lay on my bed, head stuffed inside my pillow. This was so stupid. My mind was overreacting on overdrive- there were too many stupid fantasies I had that weren't true, no matter what my mind wanted to think. Of course April wasn't cheating on me with Mark? Why would she? Mark? Jesus, if she was going to, at least she'd hopefully do better than that!
[And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try...]
Or maybe...maybe she was. Like that hickey on her neck during the poker game- I knew I sure as hell didn't give that to her! Well...there was always the chance that I had and that I just didn't remember and she just didn't chew me out. But still...something didn't seem right; something was out of place. There was something distinctly unreal about the whole situation. They had gotten closer lately, April and Mark. I mean, if they were getting to be better friends, that was awesome...but it didn't seem like that's what was going on exactly. Christ, first the incident with the drug dealer, now this? Maybe Maureen was right, maybe...
Fuck that. No, it wasn't possible; it wasn't real. There was no way in hell that this could ever happen. We were getting married! People who are engaged don't do this sort of thing...right? Right.
"Wrong!" I muttered. "Dammit!"
In a fit of rage, I grabbed the picture of April and I that was on the nightstand and threw it across the room. The frame that we had just gotten to replace the old one shattered into a million pieces and the glass cut the picture into jagged strips. A piece of glass went flying and hit me, dragging its sharp edge down my arm.
"Shit!" I yelled, and grabbed an old T-shirt to stop the bleeding.
It was then that I realized that I liked the hurt; liked the feeling of feeling pain. Maybe I wasn't completely numb this way...and so I grabbed another piece and dug it further into my cut. The pain was searing and tears came to my eyes as I barely stood the pain. But it soon subsided...and then there was another piece of glass, and another, and another, and another...and the pain I felt in my arm still was not enough to quench the pain I felt everywhere else in my soul.
[To do what I should do
But I could fall in love
Fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
(April's POV)
"Mark, maybe it's time that I decide what to do..." I said quietly as Roger stormed from the table.
"April, you know how you feel about this- do it when you're ready..." Mark murmured, stroking my hair.
He pulled me with him to the couch and started kissing my neck.
"Isn't this what got us in trouble in the first place?" I half-laughed.
[I'm always dreaming of you
Kissing my lips, caressing my skin
Hugging me with crazy longings
Imagining that you love me the way I could love you...]
"Oh well..." he replied softly.
I tumbled into his arms, and we lay there for a while. Finally, Mark looked up at me.
"Any decisions yet?" Mark wanted to know.
"Maybe..."
"Well, let me influence that decision just a little..." he said softly. "Marry me."
I nearly spit out the piece of gum I had been chewing for the past three hours.
"What? Mark, are you crazy? I mean, what are you thinking? That could never happen! Roger would flip, and it'd have to be secret, and I can't leave him, and..."
Mark gently cupped a hand over my mouth.
"I didn't ask for the consequences. I asked for you to marry me. It's a one- word answer. I can't promise you more than an honest, open, loving heart filled with boundless love for you. I will spend the rest of my days trying to make you happier than you've ever been before. I know this sounds nuts, but the past few weeks have been...nuts. And I can feel a connection, I know something is there...there has to be. Please, tell me something is there!" he said.
[So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]
"Oh, Mark..." I sighed.
"April. I won't ask you twice. Marry me."
I gazed into his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of grayish blue...and I could see my face reflected in them. My own plain face somehow looked like a goddess in his eyes...it was like looking in Snow White's magic mirror. Mirror, mirror on the wall...what path should I choose before I fall...
[I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you...]