Walk Me Home

:Harry's POV:

Throwing my shoulders back as I walked up to the stage clad in my dark blue graduation gown and hat ready to take my diploma in my hands as we have practiced many times before. Shaking with my right taking with my left. I turn to face the crowd bow and smile for the pictures and while I do that I search for your familiar face. Among the family of red heads that watched me I looked for you. The only girl, the youngest, the baby. I walk off the stage wondering why you weren't here. My thoughts brought me back to that wretched afternoon in mid-May when I had idiotically let you go.

Your eyes will be the only thing I'll forever remember of that day, how sad they were, how those tears were because of me and how much I had pained you over the years, over the girls. You stood by me and I never noticed you, you were the ideal girlfriend yet I was so busy falling in love with those I couldn't really have, when I could have you. I guess love is that way, wanting something you can't have.

Now I can't have you.

I shouldn't be feeling this way but ever since that day I've felt empty and alone. We all got accepted to Oxford and we can't wait to look for college dorms and enroll and all that. I wanted you to share that with me, walking down the halls of my new school choosing out a flat for me to live in instead of a college dorm, visiting me during my work hours, helping me with my papers, me getting your application, it was all planned out but it will never pull through.

How I hated myself at that moment.

Finally Professor Dumbledore announced the graduating class of 1998 (?) and we all stood up cheering, except for me. I was still looking for you. I resigned to stop a little because I was getting a headache, Ron ran over to me with Cho behind, yelling Picture. I laughed as we all posed in our outfits and stripped them off and then pose and smile again.

We all had dinner at your house and I wondered if you were there, maybe I kept missing you. So I gave up and decided to ask Ron.

"Hey Ron!" I call out, I know he had been upset with the things that had happened but he knew it was unintentional. Ron turns around with a glass of wine in his hand, "Where's Ginny?" I asked.

Ron licked his lips and walked over to me.

"She left more than an hour ago, right after I received my diploma. Didn't she tell you?" he asked. What didn't you tell me Gin? Where did you go? I raised my eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"You mean she didn't congratulate you after she left?" Ron asked incredulously, if he hadn't been tipsy I would have hit him, "She left for Beauxbatons, she got in. She applied when Viktor Krum had asked her to audition for it. She won't be back for a long time really." He was slurring, he was lying. I walked out and searched for Hermione, your best friend and she was standing next to the fire talking to Luna.

"Hermione?" I called out, "Would you excuse us for a minute Luna? Thanks. Hermione, have you seen Ginny? I tried asking Ron but he's kind of tipsy."

Hermione smiled at him wryly, "I knew this time would come! I just didn't want it to, hoping you'd forget somehow like you always do. I was kind of skeptic when Ginny said she didn't want to tell you but I knew her reasons."

"Get to the point already." I said impatiently, I really wanted to see you.

"She left for France more than two hours ago. Beauxbatons it's a ballet college whatever. I don't really know what to call it but she's been wanting to go there to become a prima but she didn't have enough money and when Viktor came and watched her he offered her a scholarship and she couldn't be any happier but there was you and then that thing last May and it all came through and she was supposed to leave last week but she wanted to see you graduate so she sent her stuff with the flight when they guaranteed it would get to Beauxbatons safely. She stayed until Ron was called and left after congratulating everyone but you. She has her reasons. She boarded the plane two hours ago, I think she should be in France by now." Hermione babbled nervously and she seemed sad to talk about it.

"Why didn't she tell me?" I asked pained by your actions weren't we once friends?

"She couldn't." Hermione said, "You wouldn't let her go."

"Of course I would!" I say indignantly, "It's her dream."

"No, I mean you wouldn't let her GO. Harry you were her dream too." Hermione said sadly as if she had given up.

I wanted to bury my face in my hands and cry, but I couldn't not in front of other people. I could only cry in front of you, heck I couldn't even cry in front of Cho. Hermione reached out and touched my shoulder. She was your best friend after all.

"Why did she leave?" I asked.

"She had nowhere else to go." Hermione sighed.

Is that true Gin? You had nowhere else to go? You could've gone to me. What am I thinking?

"She's never been so proud of you until this moment." Hermione whispered, "I suppose she'll explain everything here. She wanted me to give this to you. She loves you Harry, don't doubt that for a second." With that she walked away. I walked out of the living room looking for Cho, biding her a goodbye with a kiss and see you tomorrow and then I walked to the back of the house and sat on the back porch.

Tearing away the top of the envelope neatly my hands shook. I pulled out the simple white stationery that had a simple 'From the desk of Ginny W.' at the top center of the page. I stared long and hard at the neat curvy script of your handwriting and it brought tears to my eyes.

Dearest Harry,

I wanted to start this letter with a simple sorry but I changed my mind, then I wanted to say congratulations but I changed my mind too, then I thought hello would pretty much suck so I resigned to telling you this.

I'm so proud of you, graduating and all. You've accomplished far more than I have this year but we both couldn't be anymore happier right? My life has always revolved around you and you let it, not that I'm complaining but now it's my turn Harry. My turn to be selfish, my turn to live. If I told you that I was leaving you wouldn't have let me go, and I know you're thinking the complete opposite. You would let me go but not let go of me. Do you understand?

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about this important event of my life and that you are the last person to know, don't you always say "save the best for last"? I'm sorry that I ruined what we had for the chance of telling you what I felt, I couldn't hold it in and I know you understand what I'm feeling now. After all you've been with so many girls and I've never been with one because I only wanted to be with one, you. But that shouldn't matter now Harry.

When I left you that afternoon in May I was thinking about so many things at once I thought that I'd get a headache. Most of….all of it was about you. The times we shared, the moments we had, and the walks home and I thought was giving that up worth it for the price I have to pay if I told you? Yes. It is, I'm sorry to say but your happiness is more important to me than anything in this world. I'd give you my life if it would make you happy. You're probably thinking right now, that me leaving you isn't making you happy but if you think about it, it will, in time. If I had never told you and stayed, I'd grow distant, I'd regret not going and then you'll find out and probably be upset then we'd fight then I'd tell you and we'd probably never be friends anymore after that. But I did tell you what I felt and it leads me to this. This moment, this letter where I can say everything and explain everything that's, well, bothering you and me.

I left because you had always told me to chase my dreams and here I am chasing it. It was given to me on a silver platter and I didn't have to find ways to be able to get it. It made it easier for me. You were once my dream, the one I wanted to chase but now all you are is a dream and a friend, nothing more nothing less. But that afternoon when you cried I couldn't bear to leave you but I must and I loved you more everyday and I never did stop.

The most painful thing about hidden love Harry… is that in never fades away. You might hear from Ron and Hermione about me every so often and if there should be a boy remember, not that you should care but because I want you to know, that that boy will never take the place that you have somehow managed to claim without trying. Nothing and no one can ever change that.

Harry I never told you this but I hope it will make a difference in your life. I read it in a magazine once.

Don't ever regret what you do because you will only regret what you don't do even more.

Follow your heart, Harry they might not always be good choices but they will leave you with memories to last your whole lifetime. That day I told you I loved you I knew it would be the last time I'd see you for a long time, the last time we'd really talk. I risked it all, because I didn't want to regret not telling you. I told you because I am left with only the hope of you finding your way back to me. And I'll be waiting for you, always waiting.

Know this Harry I loved you, love you and will always love you despite who you were, what you are and what you will become.

Love never gets tired

Only people do…

Whenever they get tired that doesn't mean they don't love you anymore…

They just want to rest

And comeback…

To love you even more.

Take care Hairy my fickle lovely friend.

I love you.

Always yours,

Your Nina Bonita

P.S.

I've left you some memories that I cherished and hope you cherish them too. Keep it and be safe.

I folded up the letter after reading the lines over and over again. Picking up the envelope a bunch of pictures fall to the ground beside me and a silver bracelet slithered out of the enveloped and landed on my lap. Engraved on the small thin silver plate attached to it was my name and at the back of the plate was "Your Bonita" I smiled at the memory of the necklace that I had given you before your presentation.

After I slip it on I pick up the pictures on the floor and flip through it sadly laughing at the memories that invaded my mind.

There were pictures of us when you were ten with Hermione and Ron and some just the two of us. There were pictures of us in high school during Halloween and the spring dance when you had to go as my date. As I was flipping through the pictures I saw one that caught my eye.

It was a candid picture of you and me with Cho beside me. It was during the fair last February during Valentines. Cho was fast asleep with her head on the window and I was busy reading a magazine under the dim light of the car and you were looking at me. The look in your eyes, deep and penetrating full of love with a smile on your lips. I was shocked I didn't even know that picture was taken. Do you always look at me like that?

Then there was another picture and another. About five pictures have been taken of you looking at me. I should have known. After crying softly to myself wishing you were here I stood up and I knew it was time to live my life. I'll live it the way you want me to. The way you dreamed me to.

Throwing my shoulders back, the pictures in my hand the bracelet on my wrist and your memory in my heart I walk into the house that was yours and I didn't plan on walking home tonight.

SAD... those who love CHO/Harry stop here... and those who root for Ginny/Harry read the epilogue... c';)