Chapter 21

To Jack and Janet's delight, Lily agreed to go shopping with them. She asked Jonathan, in French, if she could get another doll. Jonathan told her that Janet would help her pick out a very special one. She smiled at Janet and reached for her hand as the trio walked to the silver gray Audi parked in front of the estate. From the porch, Jonathan waved good-bye and told them to be careful butalso to have fun.

Once inside the car, Janet directed Jack to the Ala Moana Shopping Center just outside of Waikiki. It was another glorious day in Hawaii; Janet realized she didn't feel nearly as despondent as she had before Lily's arrival. Something about the innocence and trust of a child, she thought, as Jack weaved his way towards Waikiki. Those traits had managed to restore some of her faith in mankind. Some.

They found a parking spot relatively easily since it was still early morning, and then they made their way towards the entrance to the two-story mall. Lily stopped every once in a while to look at the fountain that was gushing with water or to see a bird that had landed on the walkway. Once they entered the mall, which had plenty of people walking around even though it was a weekday, Janet showed Lily that she wanted her to hold Jack's hand, too. Lily looked up at him and smiled as she let him take her hand.

The first store they spotted was for children's clothing and shoes. Janet pointed at the display window where they had cute Capri pants and flowery print summer tops on sale for little girls. Lily's eyes lit up and she nodded. She and Janet found several outfits for her to try on while Jack waited patiently.

They ended up buying three new pastel outfits, two pairs of shoes, one pair of white sandals that was decorated with pink and yellow daisies, and a little girl's purse that had Barbie on it. Lily wanted to wear the sandals and carry the purse; Jack and Janet let her.

Jack spotted a cookware store and begged Janet to let him look around. She looked at Lily and rolled her eyes; Lily covered her giggle with her hand.

"Jack likes to cook," Janet tried to explain once they were inside the store.

She picked up a frying pan and a wooden spoon and tried to show Lily what she meant. Lily shook her head.

"See, Janet," Jack teased. "You can't even convince a six-year-old child that you know how to cook."

Janet gave him a stern look but amusement danced in her dark eyes. Jack laughed.

"Cook," Jack said, bending down and motioning with his hands that he was eating. "I like to make things to eat."

Lily still didn't seem to understand what they were saying. Janet grabbed a cookbook and started showing her pictures of the foods that had been prepared. Lily pointed at what she liked. Jack finally thought of a solution. He donned a chef's hat and apron and demonstrated one of his cooking techniques in a skillet that he realized he would like to have. Lily nodded and laughed as Jack made silly faces and pretended to be cooking until the saleslady asked that he stop. He decided he'd better buy the chef's hat, the cookbook and the apron, too.

After looking around at the various stores for over an hour, they decided to head for the toy store. They knew they would be in there for a while, and they were right. Lily loved everything she saw, but she didn't ask for anything until she found a doll that reminded her of the one she'd lost. She pointed at it and looked up at Jack and Janet expectantly, her brown eyes filled with delight.

"Is that the one you want?" Janet asked, pointing also.

"Like," Lily said.

"This one," Jack said, removing it from the shelf so she could inspect it up close.

"Mine," Lily said, hugging the soft, pliable doll to her chest.

She had curly brown hair and big green eyes and wore a navy blue dress with flowers on it that looked to be handmade.

"Are you sure that's the one you want?" Jack asked. "You want to look around some more?"

He motioned with his hands for her to look around, but she continued to hug the doll close to her chest.

"Mine," she said again.

"Okay," Jack and Janet said in unison.

"I think Lily has found the doll she wants," Jack said.

She only let them take it from her so they could pay for it and then she pointed to the bag.

"You want to carry the doll?" Janet asked, removing the doll from the bag and hugging it to herself.

"Me," Lily said, reaching for the doll.

Janet gave it to her willingly. The smile on Lily's face as she held the doll close almost brought tears of happiness for a change to Janet's eyes. It didn't seem to take much to make the little girl content. If only Thomas could see her and vice-versa, Janet thought, and then she knew she couldn't think about that right now.

"Let's find a place to eat," Jack said. "I'm starving."

"Jonathan mentioned Lily likes rice," Janet said. "Let's find a place that serves Chinese."

And they did. Lily enjoyed her steamed rice with a few snow peas and part of an egg roll while Jack and Janet enjoyed an express lunch meal. Jack put some of his chow mein on Lily's plate. She liked it and smiled as she pointed to the same food on his plate and motioned for him to eat.

"I guess I haven't eaten much in the past few days," Janet said. "I didn't realize how hungry I was until I tasted this food. It's delicious."

"I'll second that," Jack said, after biting into his second pork bun.

Janet took a break from her meal to sit back and look around the food court that wasn't too crowded but had just enough people milling around to make it interesting.

"Isn't this nice?" she finally asked. "I can't believe how relaxed and happy I am to be with you and Lily. I'm still thinking about Thomas, of course, but it's such a treat to see different scenery and different faces. Most importantly, it's nice not to feel scared or to always be looking over my shoulder."

"I can understand that," Jack said. "I'm glad you're enjoying this. I was hoping getting away from the estate would help. I know what you mean about Magnum, but there's nothing we can do except keep him in our thoughts."

Janet nodded and then she looked at Lily. She brushed her long soft hair with the palm of her hand as she smiled at her. "And we can keep his precious daughter happy and safe."

"That we can definitely do," Jack agreed.

When they had finished their meal, Jack picked up Lily and gently tickled her tummy which made her laugh and smile.

"Who wants ice cream?" he asked and pointed across the way to the lively ice cream parlor.

Lily followed his finger and then she nodded and clapped happily when she saw the different flavors and colors of ice cream.

"You are so bad," Janet said, as they headed in that direction. "You would spoil your children rotten. I can see it now."

"I would not," Jack said, feigning indignation. "I can spoil Lily because she's not mine."

He grinned at his friend who shook her head. "You'd be a pushover, and you know it."

"I don't know any such thing," he denied, as he let Lily look through the glass so she could see all the different kinds of ice cream. "Just for that, Janet, you don't get any dessert. So there."

He covered the corner of Lily's face so she couldn't see him stick his tongue out at Janet, who was now having a good laugh.

"So mature," she said, but she was enjoying every moment of this outing.

They felt like a real family, she thought, as Jack helped Lily carry her sugar cone which had been topped with not one, but two scoops of double fudge ice cream. And that thought didn't terrify her at all. In fact, it made her feel almost giddy. Is this what she had been longing for these past months, this past year? She'd always enjoyed being around kids, but when her marriage to Phillip didn't happen, she put thoughts of being a wife and a mother aside. She couldn't let herself dwell on what wasn't and what seemed destined not to be. But now she wasn't so sure. Jack had been against merely living together with Vicky. He was a man who still believed in the sanctity of marriage. Could it be he was also thinking about fatherhood? Did he want to be a father someday? Watching him with Lily one would think she was his daughter. He helped her eat her ice cream before it melted, and he was ready with a napkin to clean her hands, her face and her dress, should any spill onto it. Janet realized she could watch him with Lily all day. He was that natural with her.

As Jack continued to hold a now tired Lily while Janet browsed the bookstore looking for some bedtime books to read to her, or to just show her the pictures, Janet had to admit that Lily had somehow managed to bring a bit of healing to her and to the people around her. As she looked at the child who now laid her head on Jack's strong shoulder and closed her eyes as if she slept in Jack's arms every day, Janet could only hope Lily could somehow bring a lot of healing to her father.

He needs you, sweetheart, Janet thought. So much. And then she gently rubbed the sleeping child's back before heading to the counter to pay for the books she had decided to buy.