Chapter 2: Light of the Dark Moon
Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not owned by me.
Banana Rum: Kiyomi
I woke in the still of the night. Cold, sinister moonlight swept through my window. I threw off the smothering covers and swung my legs of the side of the bed.
pause. take a breath. i can't breathe.
I got up and heard the quiet pad of my feet across the floor. I had to see him, now.
'Sneak quietly through the house,' I told myself. 'Quietly, quietly.' I repeated in my head.
pause. take a breath.
I finally made it to the well. It was the dead of night. The softly blowing wind whispered through the leaves of Goshinboku. Why did I want him so badly? He didn't like me, didn't even really know me. But maybe there was a chance?
breath slowly. in and out. breathe.
I had done this many times before. I had gone to see him at least twice a week for a month. All because I just had to see.
I stepped quietly down the stairs of the building which contained the covered well. In the dark, I could feel the splintered wood beneath my bare feet. As if guided by gods, I jumped into the well.
falling, falling. time and space mean nothing. i am ageless.
Time continues. I'm here again, with all my material wants. They come flooding back to my body with a newfound force.
I peek over the edge of the well and look into the nearby tree. I know I'll see him there.
breathe as still as night. make sure he can't hear.
Then, I finally saw him. The weak light provided by the moon made it difficult to look into the shadowy tree. He wasn't sleeping. He was thinking. And I know he's not thinking about me, or any other being of this world. Damn him.
I could almost see his thoughts. In them, Kikyo dominated, it was her world. I hate that woman. That thing. That body comprised of stolen spirits and dirt.
His harsh laugh shatters the silence. It's scary. And then he laughs again. What is he thinking of?
He's getting up. swish As he alights upon the ground, I can't help but marvel at his gracefulness. His stealth. Then, I realise he is running. He is running away from me, to her. I knew it.
breathe steady. don't cry.
I waited until he was gone. And then, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get up. "Run, run, run away.' my brain said. So I did. Mechanical movements.
where am i going? i need to control myself.
My vision is getting blurry. I think I'm going blind with sorrow. Suddenly, I feel a hot trail run down my face. My blindness was caused by my tears, the product of sorrow. That's it, they're just tears. But they scald my eyes and face like molten lava. I'm fine.
no, i'm not.
Just go and go. It's so dark. The moon is gone. No, I'm in the forest. I can hear the dead, brittle leaves crunch under my feet. They're like breaking bones. Or the sound of breaking hearts.
I'm exhausted now. The suffering is wearing me down. In a prayer to the gods, I look up. Miracously, I have stopped at Goshinboku. The only thing familiar in this world. Maybe I'll just lay here and give up. I'll give up for good.
that's right. give in to her. you'll never prevail.