ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Severus Snape almost smiled as he took his first steps into Hogwarts. He had enjoyed his vacation with Neville more than he would ever admit. The month in Tahiti had been blissfully void of students, other professors, and Harry Potter and company. It was instead filled with sex and more sex and the occasional venture into the sun…covered in mass amounts of SPF 200, of course. Neville had teased him mercilessly about not wanting to burn that pale skin of his. In his good mood, he was completely unaware of what was taking place in his precious dungeons.
Draco Malfoy could barely keep from snickering as he helped Neville Longbottom put the final touches on the "gift."
Neville grinned. "I wish I could see the look on his face when he gets this, but I'm sure hearing him scream to the high heavens will be enough."
"Are you sure he won't try to kill us after this?" Draco asked. He made sure that the Slytherin green bow was perfectly centered.
The two devious young men slipped out of the dungeons undetected just as Snape sauntered down the hall with his signature black robes billowing. If there was anything different about the man, it was the look of contentment on his usually austere face. Draco cast a look back at him from under the borrowed invisibility cloak.
Severus noticed the box right away. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe this was why Neville had left Tahiti a day early. But he wasn't sure his blind lover could master such a perfect looking bow. Pulling on the ribbon lightly, he unwrapped the package and stared in absolute horror.
A pink, fuzzy bunny sat on his desk and stared up at him with huge blue eyes. It blinked at him and twitched its little nose.
Wand out, Severus shouted, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
To his dismay, now there sat two pink bunnies. Who could possibly be this evil? He thought as he picked the bunnies up with tongs and carried them to the hall. He tossed them out and quickly shut the door. Sighing he leaned against the door and shut his eyes.
"We love you bunches, Severus!" three little squeaky voices said in unison.
He opened his eyes and screamed.
Hours later, and after many failed attempts to banish the chattering abominations, Severus sat at his desk angrily tapping his long fingers on the desk. Bunnies were everywhere. They were piled so high on the floor that Draco and Neville could barely get the door open.
"I bet you find this amusing," he said angrily to the duo.
Draco nearly lost it when he saw the bunny sleeping atop of the potions master's greasy black hair. "Very amusing," he choked.
Neville grinned. "Want to know how to get rid of them?"
"I'm bloody well afraid to ask!" Severus snarled.
The blind man's smile got bigger. "Hug a bunny and call him the cuddly-wuddiest bunny in the world. Then kiss his nose and say I love you."
Severus jumped up sending balls of pink fur flying. "I most certainly will not!" But then he saw them multiply again. He could only imagine what the floor would look like after this.
He roughly picked one up by the scruff of the neck, and nearly strangled it. "You're the cuddly-wuddliest bunny in the world," he bit out. He grimaced as he brushed his lips on a pink nose. "I love you."
The bunnies were gone in a pop and the two in the door way fell to the floor laughing. "That was brilliant!" Draco gasped between spasms of laughter.
Severus stood absolutely still for a moment. "I suggest you start running!"
Neville merely walked toward Sev's voice and snaked an arm around his lover. "You are the cuddly-wuddliest potions professor in the whole world." He pressed his mouth sensuously onto Severus'. "I love you."
Defeated, Severus sighed. "I love you, too…..but that doesn't mean I won't make it up to you two imps!"