Once again I don't know how many times I have to apologize for leaving the story for hanging for 2 years Xx. I'm hoping I can be able to finish the story by the end of Spring Break. (Lot of spare time on my hands…) But you never know, depends on how the ideas develop in my brain. Feel free to e-mail me/review any suggestions or things you'd like to see. I'll be happy to see if I can incorporate it in to the story. ). (Lu Xun: Shut the heck up and start the story already.) Xx

Reika

Disclaimer: Dynasty Warriors (characters, weapons) are copyrighted to Koei, the PEOPLE and the PLACES are copyrighted to their birth parents and China D.

Chapter 14: Mixed Emotions

Qing Wan walked the empty streets of ChengAn; she had just left the Zhao mansion and was preparing to return to the Jiang mansion. She didn't know why, but ever since she had carried Zhao Yun to his home she's had a different perspective of him. No longer did she find him a psychotic, pathetic lover that'd indulge himself in alcohol and tried to kill himself emotionally. In fact, she knew she had no right of doing that, if she did…it would only make her a hypocrite. As she wondered on about this man, she could hear her footsteps quietly merge with the sound of the leaves she stepped on. The silence around her reminded her more and more of home, and remembering about home made her remember Lu Xun. "Why…" She stopped in her tracks wondering. Qing Wan looked at the crescent moon that shined on her face, "Why can't I just forget you and get on with life? Why is that even if I don't see you, I still miss you?" a small tear slipped from the corner of her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Followed by another, after another. "If I…pretend to love someone else…would that make me forget you?"

-Wu Kingdom­-

Lu Xun stared at his cup of tea blankly, even if it has only been 2 days. He couldn't stop blaming himself for all the drama he had caused. "Bo Yan?" Da Qiao turned her head and stared at her friend whom she treated like a brother. "Is there something troubling you?" she placed her novel down. They were in the library, where thousands of books were there for people to read during their leisure time. This was something Lu Xun enjoyed to do, and Da Qiao thought it'd take his mind off of things if they came here to read. "Bo Yan?"

"Huh?" Lu Xun moved his hand abruptly, knocking down his cup. The tea spilled across the table and dripped onto the ground. "My goodness." He stood up suddenly, knocking the cup and the rest of the tea set on the ground. A loud crash was heard as the fine China split into pieces. "I'm so sorry." Lu Xun smacked his forehead and bent down to pick up the shards, cutting himself in the process.

"Bo Yan." Da Qiao grabbed onto his now bleeding hand, "Don't pick up the shards. You're bleeding."

"I am?" he asked bewildered, looking down at his index finger which barred a heavy scar gushing with blood. "I am." He repeated.

"Bo Yan…are you sure you're okay? I'm very worried about you. You've seemed…to be out of it." She went to the back of the library, walking back with a mini first aid kit. As she began to wash his wounds and bandage it up, she couldn't help but notice Lu Xun's blank stares. "Bo Yan?"

"What?" his eyes seemed to have focused again, "I'm fine, don't worry."

"We're all very worried…you can't do this to yourself. You have to stop blaming yourself. You didn't cause Qing Wan to run away okay?"

"I…I did. I know I did, no matter how many times. I know it's my fault…" he said softly, his eyes grew smaller and smaller.

"No you didn't!" Da Qiao shouted, sprouting up on her feet. "You can't do this to yourself Lu Xun. PLEASE." Her voice softened as tears formed around her large eyes, "Please…I don't want anyone here to suffer anymore…"

"I know I'm making everyone suffer. I'm just a bad person. I…"

"No, we love you for who you are. So you didn't make it with Qing Wan, so Qing Wan ran away. You have to believe in Qing Wan, she's a big girl. She knows how to protect herself! Just Bo Yan, your job here is to not let the kingdom become what they were 8 months ago!"

"8 months ago…?" he questioned, "How it all began…when it all began…"

"8 months ago, when Qing Wan knew that you disappeared. You really think she was like how she was when you returned? She was miserable, she locked herself in her room for days. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't speak. She made everyone so worried, until Gan Ning convinced her."

"Convinced her?" he look up, "What could Gan Ning convince her about?" Lu Xun knew about Gan Ning's love for Qing Wan, but he never put it to heart.

"He told her, that she had to believe that you were still alive. That she had to be strong to await your arrival…and she did Bo Yan. She tried to live her life normally, it was hard for her. We all saw it, we all suffered with her. But seeing her smile once in a while would brighten up anyone's day. Even Lord Zhou Tai would smile seeing her smile. So please Bo Yan, be strong. Be strong for her."

"But, Da Qiao…what if she never comes back? What if I'll never get to see the woman I loved so much return to my arms?" he angrily swiped the books on a near by table with his arm. He fell on to his chair and shook his head, "I can't live without her Da…I love her…"

"What about Er Ling?" a voice from behind interrupted them, at the door stood Zhou Yu. He wore his long red robe, his hair freely bounced along his neck unlike most men in China who tied it up in a bun. "Do you think you're really being fair to a woman whom you promised to take care of, by missing another one?"

"Zhou Yu Gong Jin." Da Qiao snarled.

"I'm sorry Da, but I'm speaking the truth. Bo Yan must be reacting like this, but what about Er Ling? She's your wife too."

"That barbarian woman has no right in our Kingdom."

"Da!" Zhou Yu scolded, "She is Lady Lu Xun, she is Bo Yan's wife. Give her some respect."

"Respect? If I haven't given her respect, her little country butt would be out of here already!"

"You're being naieve Da Qiao, you never do that."

"You don't understand GongJin. Qi-"

"Qing Wan was just as important to me as she was to you." He interrupted strongly and coldly. "She was a sister to me just as she's a sister to Sun Ce. We all care for her, but right now Bo Yan has to do the right thing as a man."

"You're being impossible to deal with, let's ask Bo Yan." She snapped turning to the chair, "Bo Yan." She blinked at the empty seat. "Where'd Bo Yan go?"

"I don't have a clue." Zhou Yu scratched his head, what they didn't know was during their heated argument. Lu Xun had escaped the library to find some quiet time, and to think about what everyone had just said.

Bleh haven't really written in two years. I think I'm slipping X-x. I hoped someone enjoyed it…and I'll REALLY try to write more. Even if theres no reviews or just one, I'll keep writing! Cause you never know haha D!. Excited for DW 5 :D.

3 Reika