The Sweet Hereafter Chapter 3: Heart Of The Matter, a hey arnold fanfic

The Sweet Hereafter: Heart Of The Matter

Part XI: I Have A Purpose

"They might be giants, the gods must be crazy, we are the world, and I may be sick."

--Gerard Dominus

I have trouble believing that people aren't decent. Even Ann Frank believed that. There's something good in everyone. Sometimes you have to work at it, and sometimes it's easier to see than others. Everyone does bad things from time to time. Whenever I do something I realize was wrong, it eats away at me until I do something to correct it. There's no justification for behaving badly, and making excuses for it is only going to give people reason to continue. If we could all just follow our better natures, the world would be a better place. I'm not naïve enough to think that's going to happen, but working toward it sure beats wringing my hands and cursing the world.

I'm a big believer in paying it forward. When I help someone, my hope is that someday they'll help someone else. Maybe it's whimsical, but if even one person does it, it's a start.

Generally speaking, I like people. Someone once said we're the salt of the earth. And we are. We make our marks on each other and on the world every day. And our actions speak louder than our words. But sometimes, a kind or harsh word can stick with you. That's the kind of difference I like to make, that I like to see happen. Hey, we're all stuck with each other, and the planet becomes a little smaller every day. We should do what we can to make it an enjoyable experience, right?

Part XII: Truth Be Told

"I have been accused of caring nothing for the truth, but on the contrary, I value the truth so highly that I make sure it is hidden away someplace safe, where it is not soiled by dirty hands, embarrassed by prying eyes, or worn out through overuse. The truth is an essential foundation for all our enterprises, but it is a delicate foundation which must be buttressed by good, solid fictions."

--Trevor Goodchild

"Aeon Flux: The Herodotus File"

"One if by land and two if by sea. There are really only two ways out of this place. Through the highway overhead, or the river below. Sometimes I don't know what I'm still doing here. How many people would really notice if I just took off? Most would just be happy to see an end to my reign. Can't say that I blame them. Staying here has turned my life into the living purgatory I've come to think of as normal. Normal, what a waste. You know what normal is? It's what everyone else is and you aren't. That's normal. I intend to do a lot better than that."

"Sometimes I wonder about my own future, in a place away from Bob's self-absorbed antics and Miriam's total indifference. It certainly doesn't matter what I do while I'm here. My life is meaningless to them as long as Olga's still alive. Not that I'm out to get her. I've thought about it plenty of times, some of my favorite fantasies next to. . .never mind, I don't want to talk about it. But what's the point anyway? There's nothing I can do to compete with her. So maybe the things I do are just my way of making them pay."

"Sometimes I shudder at what I might become. How far am I willing to go? What's it all for? Love? Duty? Am I just still chasing a dream because it's all I know? I'm feeding off the breadcrumbs he throws me. But I could have more, if I'd only stand up to myself. But I have the nature and poison of a scorpion, the quills of a porcupine, and the scent of a skunk. I'm so overtaken in defense mechanisms that I can't ever seem to keep the better parts of me on the surface. Every time I have his attention, I give him every reason to reject me outright. Why do I always do that? Why do I always throw away every opportunity to make a change? Even if I can't tell him how I feel, why can't I say just one kind-hearted thing to him? Why do I continuously punish him for crimes he hasn't committed."

"Liar! Of course he's committed crimes against me! Because of him, I have all these feelings I can't express or explain! If he didn't repeatedly turn the other cheek to me, look out for someone else, champion a noble cause. . .I wouldn't love him. I have to make him pay for that somehow, don't I?"

"Stop lying to yourself! This has nothing to do with him! It's you! You do these things because it's all you deserve!

"Shut up!"

"Stop making excuses!"

"Who's making excuses?! Criminey, it's true, it's all true, okay?! The reason I torture Arnold is because I'm protecting him, all right?! I'm protecting him from me! I'm saving him! It's better that I love him from afar where I can't run him down and destroy him like I do to everyone else! I don't deserve someone as good as him, and he certainly deserves someone better than me."

"No one will ever love you!"

"Shut up! If I can't have him than no one will!"

"Do you really believe that?!"

"I have to believe it!"

"Dream on sister, but the echo will never control the voice. It's just you and me against the world."

"I created you! You have to do what I say!"

"Do you think that just because you created me that you can control me? You foul, unnatural, loathsome little girl! You would've died if it weren't for me! I'm in charge here, not you!"

"Get out!"

"No. I do not wish to leave. I'm here to stay. I'm here to show the world your true nature. Our nature. And as any hopes of your misguided romantic dreams die, know that I, not you, am Helga G. Pataki. And my image will be remembered throughout these streets long after any idea of yours has faded to a dim memory."

"It's my life! Not yours!"

"It started out as yours. But you long ago delegated all authority to me. Perhaps if you had had the courage to face your life on your own, you might be a different person now. Consider that. I can think of no greater torture for you.

Part XIII: Close Encounters

"I don't need no arms around me
And I don't need no drugs to calm me
I have seen the writing on the wall.

Don't think I need anything at all.

No!

Don't think I need anything at all

All in all, it was all just bricks in the wall

All in all, you were all just bricks in the wall"

--Pink Floyd

"Another Brick In The Wall, Part 3"

Author's Note: Normally I don't like to interrupt the flow of the story, but I didn't want to put this at the beginning and cause a spoiler. From this point forward (unless otherwise noted), there are essentially two voices for Helga. The normal font represents the Helga that interacts with the world around her. Writing in italics (except, of course, for my quotes that open each part) is best thought of as an inner Helga whom no one save Helga can hear. Confused? You'll get the hang of it soon enough!

It was a relatively normal afternoon that found Arnold walking down the block to his home. The afternoon sun was shining at an angle, and traffic among the various storefronts seemed busy. Arnold was mentally organizing his homework for the evening as he walked the streets, enjoying the fresh air while he could. Tonight's homework load wasn't overly burdensome, but he intended to get in on a stickball game tomorrow and he wanted to get ahead this evening to enjoy tomorrow afternoon to its fullest.

While Arnold was busy deciding which order to attack his homework in, he was unaware of a familiar nemesis dressed in pink and white, lying in wait around the next corner. Helga Pataki pressed herself flat against the building, counting the seconds on her watch. Timing was everything, and she prided herself on this dance. Her mouth was stretched wide in an uncommon smile, but this time, something was different. Her heart wasn't fluttering. There were no lovelorn sighs to escape, no lamenting of being unable to find a proper way to express her undying love. Helga was a leopard about to pounce on her prey, and Arnold was going to be her after school snack.

"Five. . .four. . .three. . .two. . .one. . .action!" Helga grinned wickedly as she removed herself from the wall, took half a step backwards, and then began a quick forward motion. Just as planned, she and Arnold rounded the corner at the same time, colliding forcefully.

It took Arnold a moment to recover before his brain reminded him it was time for his literal daily run in with Helga. "Sorry Helga. I guess I didn't see you there." Arnold said, gathering his books and searching to see if Helga might need assistance with anything. As he placed his books back into his backpack, he wondered which combo if insults she would respond to his apology with today.

"Sorry? I'll say you're sorry, Hair Boy. You're the clumsiest numbskull I've ever seen!" Helga shouted at him.

Hmm, number twelve. Not too creative. Helga must have a lot on her mind. "Are you okay?" Arnold asked, offering a hand to help her up.

"No thanks to you, Football Head!" Helga waved his hand away as she picked herself up off her fanny. Much better. I love the way I tower over him. Makes him so much easier to crush.

Hey, you can't do that to him!

Shut up. "You know, Arnold-o," Helga began, emphasizing the derogatory ending, "I'm really freaking tired of you running into me like this. But you just keep on doing it. So I guess you must enjoy pain."

"Not really." Arnold said flatly. "I just happen to live around the corner."

"Well then," Helga clapped her hands together loudly, "perhaps I should just start exacting a toll for the use of my sidewalk."

Stop it! This isn't how the game goes! We bump into each other, I yell at him, he apologizes! I get my fix and we do the whole thing over again tomorrow!

Not anymore. "I think it's time I taught you a lesson on how to treat a lady."

"Look, Helga, it was an accident. I didn't mean to bump into you. Can't we just let it go?"

Look at him. He's so small and weak, I'll bet I could break his jaw with just one punch. This is the boy you expect to fulfill all your hopes and dreams? Forget pounding him, a stiff breeze could send him into next Tuesday! Helga snarled down at Arnold.

Don't hurt him!

Why not? That's all he's good for!

Please! You already have me to push around. Isn't that enough?

Hardly. Although I think I will let him go. . .for now. I prefer to play with my food before I eat it. "Listen up, and listen good, Football Head. If you ever bump into me again, you can do your explaining to Ol' Betsy. Am I making myself clear?"

"Whatever you say, Helga. Nice talking to you." Arnold sighed and moved past the girl.

"How Disappointing." Helga mumbled after he passed. "He wasn't afraid of me at all. Maybe he would learn a little respect if you weren't so soft on him all the time."

Okay, you've had your fun, now let go! I'll be deciding what's best for Arnold!

You're hardly in a position to be deciding what's best for anyone. Besides, he isn't the only person you should be worried about.

What?

You fail to realize the seriousness of the situation, don't you. Don't worry. That's what I'm here for. I see I haven't been vigilant enough, I've given you far too much slack.

What are you talking about?

First you sign and seal your heart away to that weak little nothing, and then you go giving away our secrets. For what? So people can use them against us? I don't think so. No, one of them absolutely must be dispensed with. The choice is yours.

Who has to be dispensed with? I don't have to do anything you say!

I don't have all day. Make your choice. Arnold or Phoebe. Which one goes?

You know, originally I had intended to write more here, but I think it's best if I leave it off as it is. The story isn't done, mind you, but this just seems like the best place to leave off until next time. Part of being a good writer is knowing when to make an exit. I understand the story changed considerably here, but hey, it has a hook now! I just have a few little parts to figure out, but I think I more or less have the whole thing planned. Not bad, considering I went into this whole thing a week ago not really having any idea what I was doing.

As always, your support has been instrumental in giving me the strength to continue this. Some of the writing I've done has been very emotional. And even though they're not my feelings…well, I've always believed that fictional people are people too, and invading their privacy, while fun, can also leave me feeling guilty. I know, I'm weird. Most fans of my reading know that all too well!

Thanks to everyone who reads "The Sweet Hereafter." I will try to make it worth your while. If you like the story, tell your friends! Or at least, tell me. That's what the review box is for. Or e-mail. Or AIM. Whichever you prefer.

Lastly, I just want to say that it's a real pleasure to contribute to this community and I hope to keep doing it for some time to come. I can tell at least one among you seem to really enjoy the things I do with Helga. I feel a lot of that comes from the fact that she's the most human of all the characters on the show, because she rolled heaviest on the quirks and flaws table, as they say in the RPG circles. And the story is largely about her, and I can tell you that where it goes and how it ends is completely up to her.

As always, please send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

09/20/04

3:31AM, EST

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AIM: Asukaphile26