The Sweet Hereafter Chapter 7: In The Cards, a hey arnold fanfic

The Sweet Hereafter: In The Cards

Part XXI: All The Right Things

"If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right
If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no makebelieving
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through

It's just waiting for you"

--Travis

"Love Will Come Through"

Helga had decided by her third bite that she hated hospital food. It made the stuff served up at P.S. 118 look like gourmet French cuisine. Helga was now thoroughly convinced that there was some kind of conspiracy regarding the food, it was designed to make you sick so you would have to stay longer and rack up a higher bill. She smirked as she thought of the impact to Big Bob's wallet. Maybe when he got the bill, he'd finally notice her.

Helga continued to pick at her food, eating it much more out of desperation than enjoyment. As soon as they let her out, she intended on making a straight line for the nearest restaurant. When she had finished eating all that she dared, Helga pushed the tray to her right, placing it on the table that now held her bag. Satisfied no one was looking; she took her locket out from under the sheets and traced the contours of the heart with her index finger. Sighing, she placed it in the bag and began groping around the sides of her bed, finally finding a remote for the TV; she turned it on a flipped through the channels. Arnold had been right; there wasn't much of anything on. A news program, the Home Shopping channel, lame game shows, and five different soap operas. Helga dropped the remote in disgust, preferring instead to look out the window. It was a nice view. She could tell she was on one of the higher floors, and the view that was provided showed the bustle of downtown, a well-kept park, and even part of the river. Not willing to risk dying of boredom, Helga slowly slipped her legs to her left, and planted her feet on the cold floor. Her toes curled in protest, but nevertheless, she kept her feet firmly rooted. Slowly, she lifted her torso off the bed, mindful of the glucose bag which now served as her leash. With slow, plodding steps, and gentle pulling of the stand, Helga managed to walk herself over to the window to get a better look at the world outside.

It was truly a beautiful September day. The sky was partly cloudy, and a gentle breeze was pulling at the trees in the park. Much too nice a day to waste in school. Even worse to waste it here. Helga briefly wondered if Mr. Simmons would allow his class to be turned loose outside today. But thoughts of school only seemed to leave her depressed. She hated being alone, because it meant she would think.

Turning away from the window, Helga walked back to her bed. After spending several days in it, she suddenly felt too lazy to do much walking. She caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror, the image getting larger as she closed in. Immediately, her right hand patted her head. "Oh yeah. My hair." She rolled her eyes at the girl staring back at her, hair cascading down the back of her head like a frizzled waterfall. She lightly pushed and pulled at her face a bit, briefly wondering if she should change her hairstyle before rejecting the idea. She was too accustomed to her pigtails; they ensured her hair stayed out of her way without having to cut it short. She had few regrets. Tall and thin, she idly wished she were a little prettier for a minute before scowling. "Oh stow that line of crap." Helga chastised herself. "I'm doing just fine." She pushed her glucose drip back to the side of the bed and sat. Reaching into her bag for her pink bow, Helga decided to amuse herself for a few minutes by redoing her hair.

It was an hour and a half later when Phoebe finally showed, looking almost wastefully cheerful at the news of her best friend being both alive and well. Helga had managed to count 647 cracks in the ceiling when her friend walked in. "Helga! Konichiwa! I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Yeah, I'm okay, Phoebe. A little shaken, but not stirred."

"What was it like, being in a coma?"

"What was it like? I don't know, I spent most of the time dreaming."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No way! If I could just forget everything about that dream, I'd be a happy woman. Anyway, forget all that. Tell me about school."

Phoebe went on to regale Helga about all the recent ongoings in the P.S. 118 school community. The aforementioned party at Rhonda's next week, Lila wowing the boys like a siren, Harold getting detention, and of course, the mesmerizing lesson plans Helga hadn't been able to partake in.

"Doesn't sound like I missed too much." Helga yawned.

"Gerald hit a home run at the last baseball game." Phoebe said quietly.

"So Tall Hair Boy can swing a bat, eh?" Helga rolled her eyes.

Phoebe ignored the comment. "Oh, and Patty asked Arnold and I how you were today. She said she was worried about you."

"Worried about me?" Helga's eyebrow furrowed.

"Well, Helga, they did say you were in a coma. I think she just wanted to know you were coming back."

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away." Helga said sarcastically. "So, you didn't bring Football Head with you. Is he waiting on Little Miss Perfect hand and foot?"

"He's in class." Phoebe shook her head.

"Oh, yeah, I think he mentioned that this morning. I have got to get out of here! It's so boring!" Helga pulled at her pigtails.

"Did they talk to you yet?"

"Dr. Bliss says they'll spring me on Sunday if I don't start foaming at the mouth or anything." Helga sighed. But that still leaves all of today and tomorrow." Helga sulked.

"Arnold says he's coming back tonight. Plus he and I arranged for a lot of us to come see you tomorrow if you're up to it." Phoebe tried to sound cheerful.

"You're not letting the place fall apart while I'm gone, right?" Helga asked.

"Of course not! Don't worry Helga, when you get to school on Monday, everything will be just like you left it."

"Well in that case, Monday's going to be a really busy day, so I'd better get some rest this weekend." Helga smiled. The laughter of the two best friends was interrupted by the timely arrival of Dr. Bliss.

"Afternoon, Helga. Hello, Phoebe."

"You just can't get enough of me, can you?" Helga rolled her eyes as Phoebe waved her greeting.

"Actually this is a social call." Dr. Bliss smiled. "Not a professional one."

"What did you have in mind?" Helga asked.

"Oh, I just brought a friend of mine in, and I thought you girls might like to join us for a friendly game of poker." Dr. Bliss smiled. Arnold stepped out from behind her.

Ah, now things made perfect sense. Helga didn't buy into her psychiatrist's "social call" bit for an instant, but on the other hand, this could be an excellent chance to make a quick buck. "Sure." Helga grinned widely. "Get your wallet out, Doc."

The next few hours passed rather quickly, Arnold quickly finding himself broke with three girls playing against him. Still, he was content to watch the three ladies at work—Dr. Bliss relying on cunning and the careful study of her opponents, Phoebe crunching numbers, deciding when to hold and when to fold, and Helga herself playing mainly on her own gut instincts and refusal to back down. She lost to Dr. Bliss in the end, and Helga's only real regret was that her style of play probably revealed tons more about herself to the shrink than anything they had discussed in one of their sessions.

The doctor took some pity on the small boy who had ended up spending the lion's share of the time watching the girls play, and gave him his money back. "No hard feelings, right?" She smiled.

"Of course not." Arnold smiled back.

"This was great, Dr. Bliss!" Phoebe said excitedly. "I had a wonderful time! But I have to get home for dinner."

"So soon, Feeb?" Helga asked.

"Sorry, but I have to leave now to get home by six." Phoebe was disappointed in having to leave.

"Come back tomorrow, okay?"

"I will. Goodbye! Thanks, Dr. Bliss! See you later, Arnold."

"Bye Phoebe." Arnold waved as the young Heyerdahl walked out the door.

"Well, that was fun." Dr. Bliss laughed. "It's been a long time since I had such a challenging game."

"I wasn't in top form." Helga looked her in the eye.

"Perhaps we'll have a rematch some other time, then."

"Sure, why not." Helga agreed.

"That sounds nice. Arnold, I just need to talk to Helga, doctor to patient, for a minute. Do you think you could go to the nurse's station and get us something to drink? We'll only be a minute."

"Sure." Arnold smiled. "I'll be back in a few."

Arnold stepped out of the room and made his way for assistance while Helga got resituated in her bed, sitting on the remote control under her as she smoothed the sheets. "Stupid piece of junk!" Helga tossed it to the side as she finished and made herself comfortable.

"Helga, you have to deal with him as an equal." Dr. Bliss explained.

"What do you want from me?! I haven't insulted him once since he got here!" Helga protested.

"Quite true. You've ignored him!"

"Yeah, so, what's wrong with that? It's a lot simpler than. . .you know, getting all complicated."

"Helga, I told you. You don't have to reveal your feelings if you're not ready. But you need to deal with Arnold on a healthier level. You should talk to him, about anything. It will help you grow. Then someday, when you are ready to tell him, it won't seem so impossible."

"What in the world am I supposed to talk to Arnold about?!" Helga groaned. "We don't have anything in common! We live in the same neighborhood and go to the same school, but what do we have beyond that?" Helga slammed back into her bed. "Ow!" The hand control dug into her, and she threw it aside, the device ricocheting off the side of the bed and coming to a stop next to her.

"I think you should talk to him about this summer." Dr. Bliss smiled. "You recently risked a lot to help Arnold and his friend stop a developer from bulldozing this area of the city. As I understand it, there was some risk on your part. There's your common ground."

"Most of that. . .I don't want to talk about." Helga sighed. "Sometimes. . .most times. . .I really don't understand the things I do in the name of Arnold. From both ways, I mean. The bullying and the nice stuff."

"Your reactions are normal, Helga. You just want him to pay attention to you."

"Is that wrong?" Helga asked.

"No. But you either need to discipline yourself to form a healthier relationship with that boy, or you need to accept that things will never change, and let these feelings go. Otherwise you're just going to continue a cycle that is going to find you in a very uncomfortable place, Helga. Especially as you get older."

"Sure, Doc, I'll just let the feelings go. Look, we've talked tons of times! You know what it's like for me out there! I've been waiting my whole long, lonely life for someone to actually care about me. Arnold was the first person to show any actual concern. And if it makes you feel any better you're only the third, maybe fourth." Helga sulked.

"Alright, Helga. Then what makes him so different? Why are you willing to expose yourself to me or Phoebe but not him?"

"Because, I. . .if I tell him, then what happens to me? Everything changes."

"Only the things you want to change, Helga."

"No! Don't you get it?! My whole image would change if everyone else realized my secret. My whole life could be turned upside down!"

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

"Yes, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No, Helga. It's what you needed to hear. Breathe. I've never pictured you as someone overly concerned by other people's opinions. But these concerns are things that people feel everyday. You're not alone. All this means is that you want to be safe, that you fear change. Most people don't like change, Helga. But it's healthy. What you have to accept is the possibility that taking the risk, that putting yourself out there can actually make your life more rewarding. If you do nothing, yes, you'll be safe, but your life will always be as it is now. So unless you can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you're happy with your life, then you have some tough decisions to make."

"The way you put it, it isn't so tough at all." Helga moped, tugging on her left pigtail.

"Deciding is the easy part. Acting is an entirely different story."

Helga flopped back against her pillow. "Do you have any idea how stressful being in love with Arnold is?" She asked. "I've certainly put a lot more into this relationship than I've gotten out of it." Helga and Dr. Bliss stared at each other for a moment before both burst out laughing. "Okay, okay. I'll do something about it."

"Good. Just try to remember, Helga. The first step is the hardest, and you have to take that on your own. But from my own observances of Arnold, I'm sure he'll be willing to help."

"Don't be so sure." Helga laughed nervously. "The last time I told him how I really feel about him, he looked like a boy sentenced to a year's worth of detentions."

"So you actually did tell him."

"Yeah. Now that I think about it, I guess I came on a little too strong."

"It's better to sip than to guzzle." Dr. Bliss offered.

"Yeah, I'll try to remember that next time."

Arnold was waiting patiently at the nurse's station. In front of him was a tray with three cups of water, but the Head Nurse had insisted he wait for the next pot of coffee to come up, as Dr. Bliss would be looking for a cup. The electric kettle had long since clicked off, but no one was paying it any attention. Every nurse manning the station was instead trying to listen to the gossip coming in over a small speaker.

"I think you should talk to him about this summer. You recently risked a lot to help Arnold and his friend stop a developer from bulldozing this area of the city. As I understand it, there was some risk on your part. There's your common ground."

"Most of that. . .I don't want to talk about "Sometimes. . .most times. . .I really don't understand the things I do in the name of Arnold. From both ways, I mean. The bullying and the nice stuff."

"Your reactions are normal, Helga. You just want him to pay attention to you."

"Is that wrong?"

"Excuse me, could I get that coffee please?" Arnold asked, not wanting to interrupt but also growing impatient. Besides, it wasn't nice to eavesdrop on someone's private conversation.

The large, imposing figure of the head nurse shot him a look to keep quiet before she turned to one of her subordinates. "Girl, could be some juicy stuff she whispered. Turn it up."

One of the interns carefully reached towards the controls and boosted the gain, being careful not to get too close to the microphone and make the person on the other end realize they had inadvertently called the nurse station.

"This sounds like such a good story!" One of the women quipped excitedly.

"Shhh! You're gonna give us away! And we're missing the best parts!"

"--nold was the first person to show any actual concern. And if it makes you feel any better you're only the third, maybe fourth."

"Alright, Helga. Then what makes him so different? Why are you willing to expose yourself to me or Phoebe but not him?"

"Because, I. . .if I tell him, then what happens to me? Everything changes."

"Only the things you want to change, Helga."

"No! Don't you get it?! My whole image would change if everyone else realized my secret. My whole life could be turned upside down!"

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

"Yes, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"The way you put it, it isn't so tough at all."

"Deciding is the easy part. Acting is an entirely different story."

"Do you have any idea how stressful being in love with Arnold is? I've certainly put a lot more into this relationship than I've gotten out of it."

Arnold's ears pricked up at the unmistakable voice. "Helga?" Arnold asked himself quietly. "I never knew her life was like that." You didn't know, or you ignored it? Arnold felt a little dazed, but not completely lost. He really needed to have a long talk with the girl. Either that, or avoid any and all future encounters with her. "Helga?" Arnold asked in a much louder tone this time, drawing the attention of all the nurses.

"Oh, what do you want, Football Head?" The girl in Room 1179 said in frustration. "Wait a minute, I, you. . .how can you hear me?!" Helga cried, sweating profusely.

"Uh-oh, it's on now! Battle stations girls!" The Head Nurse ordered, and all the nurses in the area scattered, heading into different rooms, moving for the service elevator, or typing paperwork like they'd never typed before.

Arnold hesitated to answer. "Um, I. . ."

"Helga, the call button." Dr. Bliss advised her.

"What? Where is it?" Helga groped frantically for the device, tearing around in her bed to find it. The red light seemed to glare at her mockingly." This stupid piece of--"

Dr. Bliss severed the connection before Helga's tirade could continue. "On the other hand, sometimes fate has ways of doing our work for us."

"This is not happening! This can't be happening to me!"

"Stop!" Dr. Bliss insisted, forcing the girl to focus on something else before she worked herself into a total tizzy. "Helga, relax. Remember, no matter what he heard. . .it isn't anything new, right? This is your chance to make some changes."

"What if I'm not ready?"

"If you don't at least try, Helga, how will you ever be ready. No matter what happens, remember that at least now, you won't wonder what might have been."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to explain yourself to him."

"Arnold doesn't seem like the kind of person who passes judgment on others."

"No, but--"

"Don't tell me. Tell him. Anyway, I think I should be going. I'm sure there's a lot of stuff you two need to go over."

"You sure you don't want to stick around for moral support?" Helga pleaded.

"We'll have plenty of time to discuss it later, Helga." Dr. Bliss smiled as she made a quick exit before her patient made another excuse to keep her. She passed by Arnold, carrying the tray full of drinks and looking very sheepish. Behind him, several nurses were unsuccessfully trying to appear busy and innocent.

She carefully took the mug of coffee and a cup from the boy, patting him on the shoulder. "Talk to her, Arnold. She may act like she hates you for it, but--"

"I'll take care of her." Arnold nodded, much more frightened about Helga trying to "take care of him" if he risked going back inside her room.

Wow, this was a pretty long chapter, and it sure took me hours to write. I'm sorry about you folks having to wait an extra day this time. Writing a chapter every day this past week really had me burning the candle at both ends. So much so that today, on my day off, I slept until 5 in the afternoon.

Anyway, back to business as sort of usual (expect frequent updates. Possibly another one tomorrow, I don't know). This chapter really got away from me, so there may be one chapter more than I anticipated. I'm not entirely sure I can fit everything else I want to do into one chapter (and the funny thing is, there isn't that much left).

Once again, I'm very grateful for the continuous responses to my story, and I hope that in the end you'll still feel as good about it as you did in the beginning. Throughout writing this story, I've had some great experiences and met some wonderful people who truly give me every reason to work harder and harder. Those who know me well know that I never update a story this quickly, I think it's because I feel that I can't possibly make you people wait a second longer than necessary for each installment, and I promise I won't.

Well, the latest one is now online and ready for you to quote and disseminate. Enjoy it, share it, tell me what you think about it! Because the fic you review may be my own!

As always, please send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

09/25/04

2:07AM, EST

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