Hello! Thank SO much to my 5 reviewers! You like me! You really like me! Uh...yeah. Anyway sorry this took me so long to update. Let's just hope it was worth it.

Chapter Three: Guilt

When I finally regained consciousness, I was lying not on someone's doorstep as Erik had intended to do, but on the grand four-poster bed of his guest bedroom. I lay back against the pillows and sighed contentedly. Of course I had known when he gave that bourbon to 'calm my nerves' it was spiked with Laudanum. But I still drank it without question; I was half dead from exhaustion. Not just from my lack of sleep but also from the gruelling fatigue, which comes with that first introduction of the Mary Sue to her Leading Man. It really is exhausting. You have to act terrified like you don't know where you are or who he is, make a fuss that he may have kidnapped you, explain where you're from, argue with him that you are from the 21st century. It takes a lot out of you.

Erik had been my hardest customer to date. See the thing is, I'm not like Claudia. I'm not a sweet Mary Sue; I'm more of a smart-arse. So I had carried on that I had been kidnapped, trying to clobber him in the head, being stubborn and patronizing. I thought of Erik and smiled into my pillow. I wondered if I was the first woman to try and smack him in the head with a candelabra? Judging from his expression…I'd say yes, I was. It really was no wonder he'd decided to drug me and leave me on someone's doorstep. But I wasn't surprised that he hadn't.

Now, here's the cardinal rule for Mary Sue's No. 1: No matter if he initially wants you to leave, he'll never follow through with it. He'll decide although you're obviously insane, (from the Year 2005? Whom does she think she's kidding!) you're too sweet to tackle the big world on your own, or you arouse feelings in him he's never felt before that he wants to investigate or there'll be something about you, which fascinates him, and he'll find he can't let you go. Even if you part ways after you first meet never fear, you'll meet again. It's in the Constitution. The Mary Sue Constitution.

Suddenly my mobile went off and I fell most ungraciously off the bed and onto my arse. I stood up, rubbing my backside irritably and ran to the bathroom where he wouldn't be able to hear me. Everyone knows that all the plumbing in the walls of a bathroom blocks out the sound. I suddenly wondered whether they even had indoor plumbing in the 1880's. Could he hear me, apparently 'talking to myself'? I decided I'd ask someone later.

"Hey Alice." I said down the phone. It wasn't my everyday mobile I had with me. It wouldn't be safe; this was a Mary Sue phone that has a special call tone sort of like a dog whistle. To humans, when the dog whistle is blown no sound seems to come out, but dogs hear a high-pitched whistle, and it was kind of similar in this case. No one from the story could hear the ring tone at all. Except the Mary Sue. Clever huh?

"Hello Vivien! Are you settling in alright?" Alice twittered in her high-class English voice. Alice was a kind of Mary Sue caseworker and one of the three people who had my mobile number. She called in occasionally to see if I was hurt or had blown my cover, that kind of thing. She always seemed to know what was transpiring too, everything that had been said and done in my storyline. It was a little unnerving to be honest.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Erik's left me here in the Guest bedroom although-"

"Yes he was going to leave you on the street I know." See what I mean? Creepy. "But you changed his mind! Everything's going well so far."

"Well, tech-technically I didn't change his mind, you guys at Head Office did." I said uncomfortably. Alice just laughed.

"Nonsense! You're the Mary Sue aren't you dear?"

"Well…I suppose."

"Good girl. Now you'd better go back into the bedroom, Erik's about to invite you to join him for dinner."

"But…he's a recluse." I said blankly.

"No, in the Dining Room. I believe he's making it now." I had a sudden image of Erik stirring cupcake batter and wearing a pink frilly apron and tried not to laugh.

"Alright. I'll call you in a week or so Alice." Suddenly, I had a thought. "And Alice? How do you know Erik's making dinner? How-how do you always know what's going on?"

"I'll speak to you soon dear." Was all she said, before hanging up the phone.

Damn.

I went back to my adjoining bedroom and flopped onto the bed where I heard the sound of approaching footsteps and fell once more from my bed onto my arse. Liz had once told me that my clumsiness was part of my charm. I just wished I could have an asset that was kinder to my backside.

As the footsteps got closer I had a sudden brainstorm. Pulling off my shirt and discarding it on the other side of the room I bent down a plucked another from my bag. I had no intention of putting it on until Erik had a chance to see me standing in my black silk bra (of which I was rather proud). This you see would plague his mind, the sheer attractiveness of my half naked chest with my full bosom, a glimpse of my perfect curvaceous form, would haunt him and keep him awake at night. A little trick called the Romantic/Comedy film play. I had read about it in Cinderella Monthly, a Mary Sue magazine. I know it's terribly sleazy and all, but hey, it worked.

As the door began to open I tried to look like he had discovered me undressing, hiding my chest, while managing to keep it exposed all the same. Erik froze and stared at me for a moment before turning to face the wall, his face bright red. I tried my best to appear angry, remembering Erik believed that I thought he had kidnapped me, and was holding me here in his house.

'Cold and sardonic' I thought, 'Cold and sardonic…'

"I have just come to inform you that dinner is on the table in the Dining Room Mademoiselle," he said softly, though I noticed his voice was a little shaky. I smiled. He was so shy and gentle really, I just wanted to drop this act and show him I felt softly for him. But I knew I had to keep up this act for a couple of days, even though it seemed, or rather was, cruel. So with this in mind I snapped back:

"You haven't poisoned that too have you?"

Erik turned round fiercely to spit a reply, but once he caught sight of my nakedness again, he flushed a deeper red and left the room, with an irritated gesture as his only reply. I could see by the shadows under the door that he was leaning heavily against it, and I could hear his breathing coming out in ragged bursts. Mission accomplished…

I stalled for an extra 5 minutes before entering the Dining Room, finally taking my place opposite Erik at the other end of the table. I could feel him watching me as I strode across the room and took my seat. This wasn't because I was falling in love with him. It was because I knew one of the sexiest men I had ever met was taking an interest in me.

I ploughed into the food, suddenly realising how hungry I was. Though he had a plate and cutlery set out in front of him, he didn't eat, only watched me, slowly tracing his bottom lip with his finger. Finally I looked up and arched an eyebrow.

"Is there any particular reason why you're staring at me?"

"I'm just admiring the way in which you eat. Polite yet incredibly…vulgar." He smiled sarcastically. I slammed down my knife and fork and got to my feet, my hands perched defiantly.

"Oh and I suppose you know then, that it's rude to sit and watch someone eat? Ever think of that, eh Mrs. Beeton?" Erik's hands gripped the arms of his chair angrily, and he spoke with a controlled calm. Very controlled.

"No, but I am aware that when one is a guest in someone's home, they should be polite to their hosts!"

"Ah yes, of course, how silly of me! How I wish all kidnappers would be as civilised as you!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT KIDNAP YOU!" He hollered, losing all restraint, "WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO KINDAP SUCH A CONTEMTUOUS CHILD!"

"I have no idea! You're the criminal mastermind, not me!" Erik looked utterly bewildered.

"WHAT!"

I looked him up and down and sneered, "You're right, that is giving you, way too much credit."

Erik placed his face in his hands and sighed deeply. Clearly I was pushing further than anyone ever had before.

"I am fast losing my patience with you mademoiselle," he said softly.

"Then why don't you toss me out, that was your original idea wasn't it?"

"It certainly was! I was just under the misapprehension that I could take you in and look after you!" This was such a sweet sentiment that I momentarily betrayed my furious front by smiling at him. I quickly managed to regain my composure though.

"So do it!" I snapped, "I can look after myself, I don't need you!" I turned on my heel and headed for my bedroom door.

"You think you're so strong! So adult! How old are you, 14?" he sneered at my back. I spun round to face him.

"24! And how old are you, O Wise one?"

"47." I placed my hand on my chest and pretended to look impressed.

"47!" I gasped, "My you're practically a Lady!"

Erik jumped to his feet and I managed to squeeze through the door before he hurled his dinner plate at me. "Alright that does it! Get out of my sight!" he hollered.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and leaned against it, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt terrible. The poor man had been through so much pain, how could I say all those terrible things to him when I knew he was so gentle inside. I changed into my nightgown and got into bed, trying to think of how tomorrow I would apologize and become his friend. How I would always speak kindly to him and be gentle, how I would make him laugh and smile and come to trust me. And how I would eventually become his lover. This is the plan Liz had made for me, what she said would work the best.

But for now as I lay in bed, all I could think about was the kind, giving man in the other room, and how miserable he felt. And how it was me who made him feel that way.

I know I know! Vivien is being cruel, bitchy and nasty to Erik. But trust me, it's like she said, from tomorrow (the stories tomorrow) , they'll be the best of friends and lovers and not another harsh word will leave her lips. So all you Erik phans please don't get mad! It was just an argument!