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Chapter 5
Brennan watched his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The man who was staring back at him was a total stranger. He couldn't recognise himself anymore. What was he afraid of? Loosing her, getting her killed. He couldn't live in fear of what was to come. 'Stop trying to control things you can't control'. Emma, his little Emma she was right of course. The elemental put his hands on the sink heavily leaning on it. Falling in love with her had not been planed.
He knew that little sparkle in his eyes, the warm feeling in his heart it was love. He had tried to deny it with all his might, pushing Emma away, hurting her when he had realized she might return his feelings; he had even tried to flirt with Shal hoping the feeling would just vanish. But his love for Emma was there, ingrained in his heart and he knew himself, his walls were slowly crumbling. The first cracks had appeared when he had found her present nearly a week ago. Some texts had touched him deeply, more than he cared to admit, some had put his world upside down. She had bared her soul, nearly confessed her love with such sincerity. Frightened, he had tried to hide behind a wall of coldness, multiplying the snappy comments, getting angry for nothing. He shook his head as if to clear his mind. How the hell was he supposed to clear this mess?
Upon touching the table, the bottle made a dull thud startling the young woman. It was accompanied by the sound of a glass dully clicking on the wood. Emma watched the glass, followed the strong hand holding it, up to Brennan's eyes. She pushed her drawing book aside and reclined on her chair slightly apprehensive. The resolve in his eyes was not something she was really used to. Especially not when it was directed at her.
"We're going to sort this mess out once for all Emma."
The young woman turned the bottle to see what he had brought. Her smile brightened upon seeing the label. This was more like the Brennan she knew.
"Whisky? That's how you plan to sort things out?"
"Yeah. You'll ask me questions and I'll have to answer them, whatever they are. The same goes for you. The only way to avoid a question would be to drink a glass of this. Each answer has to be sincere. And I hope we won't have to touch the bottle till the end of our conversation."
Some kind of truth game with a whisky bottle as referee. In any other circumstances she would have laughed but it was probably her only chance to make him talk. Apprehension took hold of her heart, what if they were unable to understand each other, to talk freely? Thinking like that would lead her nowhere. She had to be positive about the outcome of this discussion. Emma started to get up but he quietly stopped her and sat down facing her. He knew she would feel more comfortable on the couch. He on the other hand needed the table between them; it gave him enough distance and a feeling of safety.
"No, we stay here. Please."
She felt his anguish drifting her way but could do nothing to help him except playing along. It reassured her a little to know he was as worried as her.
"Ok. I'm game. You start with your question."
The elemental closed his eyes, mentally checking his list of questions.
"What made you come back in that bar?"
Seeing her hesitate, he only added a few words.
"Honest answers Emma… Only the truth even if it's not glorious, even if it is selfish."
"When we first locked eyes I saw something in you. No it was not just something; I saw eternity in your eyes. You completely blocked other people thoughts; I was in a bubble where the only thing that mattered was your presence. Time wasn't important… it was amazing. I came back because I wanted to know what had happened, who you were. And…"
She closed her eyes. The rest of the truth was a bit embarrassing. Brennan just watched the blush creeping up on her cheeks and smiled.
"I found you handsome."
She stammered the last words with embarrassment but he heard her loud and clear. The warmth was back full force in his stomach.
"My turn. The night I met Caleb, when you invited me it was for a good reason. I… I'd like to know what it was?"
The temptation to back off was almost overwhelming.
"I wanted to talk to you about what was happening between us. You know, the awkward smiles, the little touches, the time we spent together, that night when we fell asleep together on the couch. I've never felt so close to anyone else. When you came into the living area in that dress, all rational thoughts went down the drain. After that, I guess… I felt betrayed you kissed him, I was jealous too. Losing you was… definitely not something I was ready to face. It was so painful. I blamed myself for not being able to protect you."
"I'm sorry Bren. I wish I could somehow erase that pain."
He needed something to drink. It was too hard hearing her apologize when she was not responsible for what had happened that night. If someone had to be blamed it was him. 'Live and accept your past. You can't change it.' The rational part of his mind knew and accepted but his heart was a problem especially when it concerned Emma.
His question was whirling in his mind, but the words refused to come out clearly, they were stuck in his throat.
"I… How do you know that what you feel is really… yours?"
The young woman let out the breath she had been holding. His fear was clearly shining through his words and it pained her not to be able to ease it.
"That's hard to explain. Every person has unique fingerprints. It's the same for emotions. Each person has a special mix that appears like colors to me. It's not an aura, it's more like a painting; the colors can alter but the pattern can't change. Some are more vibrant or paler than others. Some have just one color, others so colorful it is hard to distinguish anything. But each is different and changing. Mine has colors but it his associated with other stuff like odors."
She paused unsure if she should go on. The emotional maelstrom drifting from him was so strong it nearly blinded her.
"Yours is… a melange of burgundy, earthy brown and black. It's something warm, reassuring and so powerful. Sometimes when your feelings get really intense, I can see golden sparks mixed with the colors. I really like it when you let your guard down and I can feel it just like yesterday."
At a loss for words, Brennan took her hand and entwined his fingers with hers needing a physical connection.
"Why are you so afraid to let me in your heart Bren?"
The question surprised him. His answer surprised him even more.
"Because all the people I have loved or still love have let me down; or worst get killed."
A simple sentence expelled out of him in one single breath. Just a few words and his walls crumbled down completely, liberating him, allowing light in the darkest recesses of his soul. Emma closed her eyes under the assault of feelings he had kept hidden since his childhood. The pain, the loss, the rejection were so intense it nearly sickened her. But beneath that layer of tortured emotions something was steadily growing, filling his mind, gently engulfing her. And that something was love, pure and selfless. The sensation was exhilarating almost too strong even for her. He was taking her on an endless emotional roller-coaster, making her experience a full spectrum of emotions.
Without thinking, she took the bottle and poured herself a glass. The taste of the amber liquid rasped her throat like sandpaper; the burning sensation brought her back onto earth, helped her clearing her head. She had never expected he would cave in so easily. She had never expected it would touch her so deeply.
Brennan watched her intently; the little angel facing him seemed to be at a loss for words.
"Emma, I'm telling you that I have more than friendly feelings for you. Don't ask for more right now."
Knowing that words would never convey what she really felt, she got up with his hand still in hers and came to stand in front of him. Her left hand came to his jaw line, softly caressing his beard stubble. She dipped her head slowly, making sure he was all right with was going to happen. Emma stopped before her lips touched his and locked eyes with him trying to find some remains of hesitancy. But all she found was his love and in that instant she knew she had finally slain the ghosts playing in his dreams.
"I won't. And I promise you one thing: I'll stay by your side if you want me to because I have more than friendly feelings for you."
He closed the distance between them, softly kissing her, tacitly allowing her to connect their minds. She tasted like whisky and something that was purely hers, something much more addictive than any other alcohol. Heady with the revelation of her feelings, he got up still holding her hand. The couple moved toward the couch in between kisses, stumbling and banging into furniture. But neither cared, it was their moment. As they collapsed on the soft cushions, Emma felt the smile tugging at his lips and responded likewise. After a few heated kisses, Brennan got up and brought the bottle with the glass.
"I really feel like celebrating."
The elemental was about to pour a glass when he spotted her staring at him with barely contained desire. Instantly he put the bottle down entranced by the sparkle playing in her blue eyes like lightening in a stormy sky. He sat down on the coffee table facing her and gently cupped her cheek, softly caressing the smooth skin with his thumb. Emma closed her eyes tilting her head. The warmth of his touch was incredible, arousing, clouding her mind. The young woman realised that her previous drink was already affecting her, heightening her senses, her perception of him. And maybe for the first time, she considered her ability as a real gift.
On an impulse, her lips touched the interior of his wrist making him shiver with expectation. It reverberated down her spine and settled in the pit of her stomach, forcing her eyes open. The two friends locked eyes, unable to focus on anything else than the other. Both rose from their seats as one, never breaking eye contact, the whisky long ago forgotten on the coffee-table.
In one swift move, the elemental scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He let go of her legs but kept her tightly locked in his embrace not wanting to lose her contact, their connection. The thought that she needed him as much as he needed her made his heart beat a little faster.
His lips closed on hers eagerly parting them, his tongue caressing hers in a torturous dance, making her moan nearly desperately. Meanwhile, his fingers began working on the buttons of her flannel shirt, nimbly popping them open. Emma let her arms fall and he slowly made the shirt slide down, revealing her skin. It fell down to the ground unnoticed quickly followed by their remaining clothes. In the dimly lit cabin they stood facing, stripped from any pretence, their bodies as naked as their souls and hearts. A silent agreement conveying love, trust and acceptance passed between them.
Carefully, as if she was made of glass, he helped her lying on the soft covers and followed her mesmerized by her glowing skin. Their hands and mouths began a slow exploring dance, building a hunger neither wanted to escape. And when they finally joined, the fulfilment it brought upon their bodies and hearts made them both gasp. Each caress became more urgent, fuelling their passion until it became nearly unbearable.
As Emma was ready to plunge over the edge, she felt something snapping in her mind and had to open her eyes. She was no longer in the cabin, she was floating somewhere among the stars wrapped in a burgundy cloud traversed by golden sparks; a strong heaving sensations settled in her stomach. Suddenly, she felt herself spiraling down to earth crashing under the force of her climax. Brennan soon followed her, caught in her rapture, his sensations amplified ten folds by their connection.
The two lovers lay entangled basking in a peaceful afterglow when Emma felt the first stirring of a headache. She winced slightly and settled deeper in her pillow. She should have known better. Alcohol mixed with an emotional roller-coaster was not something recommended for a telempath. Feeling her getting restless, Brennan leaned on his elbow and watched her a little worried. Her eyes were glazed and she seemed lost in her world.
"Em, honey are you ok?"
She blinked a few times, before realizing he was talking to her. Wearily her eyes came to rest on his face and she smiled.
"Yeah, I'm better than ok. I just shouldn't have drink before connecting with you. But I don't regret it. I've never felt so alive, so complete."
The elemental kissed her forehead lightly. He should have known that it would affect her strongly. He had taken that bottle only as a way out. It hadn't been meant for her. Carefully he wrapped her in his arms trying to bring her some comfort.
"You should sleep Em. It will ease the pain a little."
The young woman nodded and closed her eyes, finding the comfort she needed in his presence. Brennan watched her drifting toward sleep. He watched her long after she had fallen asleep, guarding her mind with his love.
TBC
