Always Sorry
By: Kryptonite
*****
*Eight Months Later*
" Scooter." Logan said in acknowledgement, dropping the duffel bag on the floor and turning away from the steps to face the man in front of him.
" Find anything." Logan didn't need to see Scott's eyes to know something was wrong. Scott was angry, Logan could smell it.
" Not really. Where's Marie?" Logan asked, trying to peer past the man and into the rec. room.
" She died, Logan." That caught Logan's attention and pulled him back to focus on the man standing in front of him. " The night you left."
" She's dead? How?"
" Drowned in the lake." Logan felt like he was going to fall over, the same way he had felt when he had seen Jean die. He felt like he was going to die himself.
" Why wasn't someone able ta save her."
" I said she died not that she's dead."
" What?" Logan asked, staring at Scott like he was crazy.
" I think what Scott's trying to say is that Marie drowned in the lake. She was dead for over fifteen minutes before they resuscitated her. Hey Scott."
" Hi Rogue, I was just about to bring you dinner when Logan walked in. If you want I can-"
" It's okay, I can eat in the kitchen tonight. I also need to stop by the library and pick up a book for English. Want to walk with me?"
" Sure." Scott said, taking the waif's arm.
" Marie?" Rogue didn't even acknowledge Logan's call until she was farther down the hall and Logan had gone to turn away.
" Marie is dead Logan. Get over it."
*****
" What happened that night?"
" She should blame you but she doesn't." Scott said, on the defensive as soon as Logan walked into the practically deserted kitchen.
" Scott, Professor Xavier said 'although it is easier to blame others, the blame usually lies with ourselves.' Logan may have helped shove me over it was my own inability to deal with life's challenges that caused me to take the drastic measure to end my life."
" I really wish you wouldn't do that." Scott groaned, smiling at the beautiful girl in front of him. Logan realized with a jolt what was happening. They were flirting.
" So I sound like a shrink, and Professor X, what's so wrong with that?"
" It's creepy is what's wrong."
" Well as enlightening as this conversation is, someone care to tell me what happened?"
" Jean died. You left a two months later. I begged you to stay, you shoved me out of the way and ended up breaking my arm."
" I broke your arm?"
" I'll be back in a couple of months." I answered gruffly, shoving my way past her into the hallway. I distantly registered the sound of a sharp intake of air and the smell of spilt tears. I paused, almost turning back to apologize for whatever I had done but continued on out until I was out of the mansion.
" Oh God, Rogue I'm so sorry."
" Yeah well, what's over is over. I spent most of the day crying in your room and then walked out to the lake, wrapped a weight around my body and jumped in. Took Scott a total of fifteen minutes to dive in after me, cut the ropes, and carry me out and all the way into the med. lab. Took Dr. McCoy another ten minutes at least to get my heart beating again and all the water out of my lungs."
" That was a good twenty five minutes of terror."
" Well at least you followed me."
" I wouldn't have left the trees if you hadn't of screamed."
" Well then I guess it's a good thing I lost control, huh? But anyway, Scott saved me."
" Thanks Scooter, I owe ya." Rogue turned an icy glare on the older man who had stretched his arm out to shake Scott Summer's hand.
" You don't owe Scott anything. I owe him my life. Unfortunately, I also owe you my life, twice. Just leave me alone Logan. I don't want to talk to you unless I have to."
" Okay kid." Logan high-tailed it out of the room, hurt beyond reason. " She didn't have to be so mean. I was just tryin' ta help."
" She actually did. You broke her heart when you left Logan. She needed you."
" Not you too 'Ro." Logan said, turning to look at the African Goddess descending the stairs.
" Yes, me too. You were the one strength she had left. When you left, she collapsed. If Scott hadn't been there, I'd shudder to think of what the world would have lost. I hope you stay around this time." Ororo called over her shoulder as she walked away down the hall.
Logan stood in the hall trying to wrap his brain around all he had learned that day. He knew he wasn't the only one who had lost something when Jean died but it had just been so hard to stay around and be able to smell her everywhere he went. So when Xavier had told him about leads to his past he had jumped at the chance.
" I am so sorry. I just can't stop screwing up."
I'm always sorry.
*****
A/N: Well, I decided to continue, simply because I had this idea. I was planning on doing this story kind of choppy like. Kind of going back and forth between times, jumping all over the timeline. Basically I go where my muse directs me. Hope you enjoyed, not as dark as the first chapter but still.
A/N2: 11-5-03 Okay I fixed this chapter to go with the rest of the story, sorry about the time differences.