Inner Dialogue

By: Kryptonite

*****

*Month Before*

" Come on Rogue, the funeral's in an hour."

" If you really think it's your fault you'd come." Jubilee muttered angrily through the door.

" What is your problem?" Kitty hissed at her friend. " Rogue, sweetie?" Kitty turned to the door, trying to hear through it.

" I'm getting a ride from someone else." Rogue answered through the door, not moving from her position on the window seat.

" Oh, okay then. We'll see you there?"

" Yeah, sure."

" Bye Rogue. Jubilee you insensitive little brat." Kitty hissed as the two walked down the hallway.

" What?" Jubilee asked back, not bothering to keep her voice down. " She's the one who said she killed Jean, not me."

" You and I both know it wasn't her fault."

" Do we now? How do we know, we weren't there. And those who were aren't talking. For all we know it is her fault, no matter how indirectly."

" Jubilation Lee just shut your mouth right now before I'm forced to hit you. Hard."

" Jean, God, I'm so sorry." Rogue spoke watching out the window's as the cars pulled out of the drive. Rogue's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy from hours of crying.

" Rogue?" Rogue hastily moved to wipe at her eyes, trying to make as little noise as possible. " Rogue, I know you're in there." Scott called. He waited a second. " If you don't open the door, I'm gonna blast it. One… two…" The door swung open before he could get to three.

" Yes?" Rogue asked quietly, throat sore from the little use it had gotten over the past two weeks.

" You have to come to the funeral."

" How can I?" Rogue stopped herself before she sobbed out loud. That didn't mean Scott couldn't see the other signs she'd been crying.

" She loved you, she'd want you there." Instead of releasing the words that were building in her throat Rogue simply nodded, turning around to grab her coat. She knew she wouldn't win. Not with out telling them the truth. She couldn't do that. Marie wouldn't let her.

" Come on Rogue, we don't wanna be late."

No, don't want that. Oh God, I can't do this! Rogue sat staring out the window on the ride to the funeral, and spent the entire time trying to squash the voices telling her that she was pathetic and worthless and that it was her fault.

" Rogue are you okay?"

" You came with Scott? How could you do that!" Jubilee hissed at Rogue after the funeral was all over. Everyone was heading towards their respective cars, getting ready to leave.

" Why wouldn't she Jubilee? It's not her fault. She has nothing to feel bad about. Would you stop it?"

" You said it yourself, Marie, it's your fault." Rogue simply stood there as Jubilee let her emotions out, pouring hate and anger over Rogue, forcing her close to the breaking point. Rogue's hand lashed out and slapped Jubilee on the cheek before her body turned and started running.

Rogue thought she was flying with how fast she was running, feet barely touching the ground. She barely registered the car behind her before she tired out, having to stop for air.

" Nice running kid, can I ask what from?" Logan asked, stepping out of the passenger seat. Rogue just looked at the ground, unable to look at either Logan or Scott, who was sitting in the driver's seat. She couldn't look at them and know that it was her fault they didn't have the woman they loved around.

" If you don't want to talk, at least get in the car. It's at least two miles to the mansion."

" I'd rather walk."

" It'll take you until midnight with the way you're going." Logan said, Rogue's ears picking up on some condescending tone that wasn't there.

" Just leave me alone." Scott pulled the car onto the side of the road and shut the engine off.

" You want to walk, we'll walk with you. We can come back for the car later."

Sighing, Rogue stomped over to the car, yanking the back door open and sitting inside before slamming it again. Why can't they just leave me alone!

" That's better. You never would have been able to walk two miles after running like that." Logan's voice from the front seat mixed with the voices shouting in her mind.

Please just leave me alone! Rogue entered her mind, looking to all the world like she was sleeping.

" Logan?"

" What Cyke."

" I was just going to say shut up, she's sleeping." Logan craned around to see that Cyclops was right.

" Well, you can't blame me. I mean, what was the girl thinking? Hitting Jubilee and then running off like that."

" The Professor will deal with it when we get back, you don't need to be so vocal in your disapproval."

" Someone does, you just seem to want to mollycoddle her."

" Logan she hasn't come out of her room except to eat and go to classes since Alkali Lake."

" True, but that's no one's fault but her own." Scott simply frowned as he continued to drive down the street. A noise in the back caught his and Logan's attention.

" Please." Rogue muttered.

" It's your fault. Magneto may be a monster but you could have saved her, saved everyone a lot of heartache. No one wanted you." John Allerdyce sneered. Magneto took over.

" I'm trying to save humanity. You were trying to save yourself. You're worthless, pathetic and weak. Jean Grey was humanities one chance at survival and you took it away!" Then it was Logan's turn.

" I've seen a lot of shit in my days, but this takes the prize." Logan's voice cut through Rogue like a knife through hot butter, worse because he wasn't angry, just incredibly sad. Then the person Rogue had been, before the mutation.

" You can't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand. You're all alone, except for us. We're the only ones who will put up with you."

" And that's only because we're in your head." The voice this time was from her first boyfriend, David.

" Please, just leave me alone." She whispered, trying to ignore the taunts coming from the personalities in her head.

" We can't."

" You're never alone. As long as we're here." Pyro smirked, coming back into the forefront.

" Rogue? Rogue wake up." Rogue blinked her eyes open to see the inside of the school's garage. " Come on, we're back at the school." Logan finally got annoyed and just opened the door, catching Rogue from falling on the cement floor.

" Jeez kid, you're getting heavy." He muttered, pulling her from the car and setting her on her own two feet. Scott winced at Logan's choice of words but didn't correct him.

Just shut up! Leave me alone!

" Rogue, the Professor wants to see you." Rogue closed her eyes and tried to stop the inner dialogue of jeers. Trying to stop them before she had to go talk to the Professor.

Inner dialogue's are like poison, they continue to spread and wreak havoc, even after they're gone.

*****

A/N: Longest chapter yet. This is before the attempted drowning. I know I'm making Jubilee seem like a real b*tch but I can't help it. I just don't like her all that much. I was also thinking about a reason why Jubilee hates her that would come out later in the series. Any suggestions?

Also someone said that they thought this was Rogue/Cyclops and it probably will be. Unless that is, you want her to end up with someone else, then I'll think about a new pairing. But I've always liked the idea of Rogue/Cyclops, Jean/Logan.

Another thing, this is depressing and like I said, I wrote it when I was depressed so there you go. For some odd reason, most of my X-men stories come out like that, I have a hard time writing anything else. One last thing before I go, italics, while also basically highlighting the chapter title or moral at the end, they also indicate personal thoughts. Just so you know.

Have a good day.