Welcome one and all! I'm sure this is a bit different than you expected. It's different than what I expected, too. This final preview for the upcoming Instant Gratification story was supposed to be in the same format as the original trailer. And that is what I started to do. And then I ran into several road blocks with it, and I realized that I just couldn't create another trailer as exciting as the original. So, I've decided to take a different tactic. I did up a scene I had in my head. Perhaps this is a better way to go. Popular novel writers will often release segments of their work, an excerpt or two to help promote whatever project they are working on. So, to maximize the pun, I'm taking a page out of their books and doing the same. This should prove exciting. I'm hoping that by finally giving out something solid, I can get some good publicity going. I want this to be a story you tell your friends about. I'm hoping I can do the plot justice and let this one be a story talked about for some time to come. But only time will tell. As this is the first concrete piece of work for Instant Gratification that I'm releasing to the public, your feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy!

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"I'm here today to talk to you about Faith. Because when I look around in this world, it's dying, and I can't imagine a world without Faith. Because Faith is one of our most fundamental traits as human beings. It is by Faith that people believe in or deny a higher power. It is by Faith that our governments keep hold of their power. By Faith, we believe in our parents and spouses and children and friends. By Faith, do we take most people at their word, until given reason not to do so. And it is by Faith that you return each week to listen to me share something with you.

And yet, we are in danger of losing that Faith. It should be precious to you. Without it, we run the risk of living in a world of constant suspicion and guarded encounters. Always keeping our friends close and our enemies closer, watching out of the corners of our eyes for that first sign of betrayal. And I urge each of you to fight those impulses. Do not go gently into that good night! Wake up, all you good people of the world, and remind your fellow man how much you love him in spite of everything. Don't depend on someone else to do it for you. Take the time now! Call that friend you haven't seen in a few years! Apologize to your boss for adding that five minutes to your break! Resist the urge to honk your horn at that person who cuts you off on the freeway! Give back that extra dollar the cashier gave you in change! Put a dollar into the Salvation Army cup, not a quarter! Spend more time with your family! Admit that lie to your parents! Let your kids stay up late!

I don't know what awaits us when we die, but we only get one chance at this life. We don't have to go through it all as strangers. We don't have to go it alone. Let the people around you into your heart, and see if you aren't blessed."

Ginger Foutley

Excerpt from the "Hello, Strangers!" weekly syndicated newspaper column

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Arnold yawned as he slid into the queen-sized bed, pulling the covers up to his shoulders. His eyes closed, his head snuggling into the pillow. His breath caught in his throat for a moment as he felt Helga's hand upon his shoulder, she pulled herself to him, wrapping her legs around his smaller form and lightly threading his hair through her fingers.

"I thought you weren't going to come to bed tonight." She whispered in his ear

"I wasn't sure for awhile myself." Arnold responded. "I've been under a lot of stress."

"That's why you should come home more often."

"Why, so we can fight more?"

"We're different personality types. So of course we're going to drive each other crazy. But I'm the one who got you into this whole marriage thing. And although you make me want to strangle you, I will say that you haven't done anything that would make me want to deprive you of marital privileges. . .yet.

"As I recall, Helga, we haven't engaged in any 'marital privileges.' I told you how I feel about that."

"I'm not talking about sex, Football Head."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump down your throat."

"Eh, I'm in a forgiving mood. Now, as a little reminder, I am your wife, and part of that entails my taking care of you. I think it was somewhere in that whole 'love and support' part of the vows. To be honest, I don't remember it that clearly, I was kind of in a hurry and I wasn't really paying much attention."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Arnold replied sarcastically.

Helga shot him a look that indicated she wasn't amused, but it faded quickly lest she just start off another argument. "But in spite of all that, I'm not about to shirk my duties." She began to knead the flesh of his back, trying to ease some tension.

"Um, really, it's okay. You don't have to do anything." Arnold felt rather uncomfortable.

"I know I don't have to." Helga failed to keep the frustration out of her voice, pushing a little harder than necessary. "Maybe I want to, okay?"

"Why do you want to?"

"Do I have to have a reason?"

"I'd be a lot more comfortable if you have one, yes."

"I just want to do it, all right? Am I not allowed to do something nice for you for once in your life?"

"Look, it's not that I'm not touched that--"

"Oh criminey, will you just shut up! Fine, I'll give you my reason! Maybe I'm just a little tired of watching you do stuff for me day in and day out. And then you had to go and see Bob, God I don't know what you were thinking with that one, and you actually managed to get through to him! It was beautiful! After years of futilely trying to gain his approval, he finally explained why he made my childhood so difficult. That maybe I was wrong. That maybe there's hope. That maybe, just maybe, there isn't something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not unlovable." She whispered the last part, her hands dropping from his shoulders.

Arnold turned to look at Helga, her face a mixture of emotion, locked somewhere between sorrow and relief. "You shouldn't ever think that, Helga. No one is unlovable. No one."

"Husbands are supposed to say things like that." She said quietly, without a hint of sarcasm.

"You are not unlovable." Arnold reiterated. "When you're not too busy pretending that you're really mean and cruel, I think we both know you've got a lot of love to give."

Helga blinked twice, processing that statement several times to be certain that she had heard it correctly. Inside, she was glowing. He'd done it again, ignited her very soul, filling her with passion and desire. Without even thinking, she pushed him firmly, knocking him off balance and causing him to fall backwards against the mattress. Helga pounced in an instant, pinning him with her own body, her hands gripping his arms to keep him from struggling. "All right, Bucko, I'll have you know that, in the fifteen years I've known and obsessed over you, I have never wanted you more than I do this very second. And you'd better say something in a hurry, because I don't think I can control myself much longer!"

"This is controlling yourself!"

"If I weren't in control, you would never be able to get of this marriage for non-consummation."

Arnold gulped audibly. "Um, Helga, I really appreciate the offer, but I think this is too much too fast. I mean, we hardly know each other, and. . ."

"We'll make it work! That's what you do, Arnold, make things work! Trust me, you just got through telling me that I have a lot of love to give. And there's no way we could possibly have a problem that either talking or sex couldn't fix. Now come on!"

"How about if we agree to spend a couple of nights in the same bedroom and we'll take it slowly from there?"

Helga practically leapt off the bed in glee. "Yes! Okay then! My room?"

"Sure." Arnold smiled.

"Can we sleep in the nude?"

"Er, why don't we try it with bedclothes first. . ."

"You're no fun." Helga pouted. Arnold rolled his eyes. "Fine. Foreplay?"

"We can cuddle, Helga. Baby steps, all right?"

"Right, right." She sighed. "Okay then, why don't you pack a few things you want to move into my room, and I'll, um, get ready."

"Great, I'll be there in half an hour. Um, you'll have to let me up, though."

"Oh, right!" With great effort, Helga released her prey, allowing Arnold to slide out from under her.

"Okay, then. I'll pack up my stuff, while you go ahead and get ready."

"Yeah, I'll just, um, go back to my room and get ready. Okay, so I'm just going to go now."

"Right." Arnold rolled his eyes as Helga backed out of his room one step at a time. Almost tripping down the staircase before she stopped herself and ran off down the hall. "I don't think I'll ever understand women."

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"Criminey, what the hell am I thinking!" Helga yelled at herself as she ran into her bedroom, rapidly throwing the various books and items off of her bed in a desperate attempt to make it look presentable. She ended up having to completely strip the sheets and redo them, aligning the pillows in a cozy and inviting manner. She threw her bottles of constipation medicine into the nightstand and began picking up every stitch of clothing on her floor, throwing them into an already full hamper without even looking. Breathing heavily, she ran into her small bathroom, getting a look at herself in the mirror and practically screaming. There was no way she could possibly sleep next to the love of her life looking like this. Her hair was a train wreck! Her skin was clammy with sweat. And her legs, good heavens, she didn't think she could think back to the last time she had shaved them. Screaming at her reflection, she turned both the hot and cold water faucets on full blast, filling the tub in only two minutes. Without even bothering to test the temperature, Helga quickly tore off every last article of clothing she was wearing and dove into her bathtub as though she were in the Olympics. She grabbed a bar of soap and vigorously scrubbed it all over her body, grabbing a brush to do her back and using her free hand to attend to other parts. Without missing a beat, Helga reached behind her for the different bottles of shampoo she kept. She went with the second one she grabbed, it had a pleasant but not overpowering scent that she felt certain someone of Arnold's taste would appreciate. She lathered the miracle substance into her hair, praying it would do something to make it presentable, while turning her attention to her least favorite of the chores before her. She sighed loudly, knowing that she did not possess nearly enough time to do the job properly, she knew she was bound to cut herself. Trying not too think to hard about what she was doing, she lifted her left leg, doused it in shaving foam, and took the razor to her skin, cursing herself for not having planned for this eventuality better. She didn't go as quickly as she had planned, deciding that legs full of ugly cuts wouldn't be any less attractive than legs that lacked the naturally smooth feeling that could only be achieved by putting one over on nature.

Finally, the ordeal was over, and Helga jumped out of the tub, wrapping her hair up in a towel while rolling her body up in a bath sheet. She tied the latter off around her waist and took a look in the mirror. The same, plain and unattractive face greeted her, but there wasn't much she could do about that. She considered plucking her long, distinctive eyebrow in its center two generate the appearance of two, but decided against it. That would be too obvious, since Arnold had just seen her less than an hour ago. Quickly, she opened the cabinet under the sink and removed a bottle of mouthwash. Not wasting time with a cup, she simply took a healthy swig straight from the bottle and proceeded to gargle loudly. Nearly a minute later, she gratefully spat the foul substance down the drain, gasping for air but also knowing she would no longer have to worry about her breath. Inhaling deeply and giving herself one last once over, Helga growled as she noticed that her modest breasts were hanging awkwardly, and her attempts to correct the problem weren't making the situation better. As if planned by the heavens above, it was at that moment that she heard a knock on her bedroom door-Arnold! "I'll deal with you later." She scowled at her chest, running to the door to appear punctual and ready.

Helga opened the door to be greeted by a very wide-eyed Arnold holding a small suitcase and wearing pajamas. "Um, Helga, I thought we agreed to wear our pajamas to bed." Arnold said, feeling embarrassed.

"Huh? Oh, right! I'm sorry, you just caught me coming out of the shower. I usually take one before I go to bed. It's okay, I've got a nightgown in here, I'll change into it in a second. Um, why don't you come in and make yourself at home? I'll just finish up in my bathroom."

"Okay, that will work." Arnold stepped inside the doorway past Helga, who shut the door behind him. He crossed over to the bed and sat down on the left side opening his suitcase and placing several items on the nightstand. Helga silently thanked the Fates that he hadn't chosen the right side, the last thing she wanted was for him to see her embarrassing medications.

"So, um, I'll just be back out in a minute." Helga grinned as she stepped into the bathroom. Once inside, she shut the door, leaving it ajar so she could hear what he was doing in the bedroom. She furiously rubbed at the towel in her hair to make sure it was free of excess water, she hoped he wouldn't mind that it would remain damp for most of the night. She frowned at the mirror again, sighed, then dropped the towel, grabbing a white, silk nightgown that hung on the back of the door. She stepped into it, satisfied both with the feel and that it would meet Arnold's expectations. This would hook him for sure! A wonderfully sexy fabric that kept her well-covered. Arnold couldn't accuse her of breaking the arrangement, but her choice in fabric ensured he would want to stay as close as possible. "Helga old girl, you're a genius!"

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I step out of my bathroom wearing what I can't help but think of as an evening ensemble, even if it doesn't amount to anything more than pajamas. I need everything to be perfect for him. I was desperate. Too many long years of anticipation demanding to see a payoff. And I was close, I can feel it in the air, like little discharges of electricity. Soon, my love. Soon. But not tonight. Not all the way. But soon. I flash a shy smile, appreciating the way he looks me up and down in an approving manner, satisfied I'm not up to something. I can follow the rules. I don't want to take any shortcuts that will upset him and put the whole business in danger. Just the idea of sleeping next to him, in the same bed! That very notion is nearly orgasmic on its own, who needs sex! Um, don't answer that.

"That looks nice, Helga. I didn't really know that you owned anything like that. Usually I just see you wearing old T-shirts and tattered pink shorts when you're in for the night." Arnold grins at me. You've gotta love the element of surprise.

"Oh, this old thing?" I smile at him. "I guess I just never had occasion to show it off."

"I like it."

"I'm glad." I casually saunter over to the bed, pulling the covers down on my side and sliding my form into them. "Well, come on in then. I promise I won't bite." Arnold gives me a look that clearly indicates his reservations about the sincerity of that comment. "I mean it. I'll completely behave. Campfire lass' honor!"

"You were never a Campfire Lass, Helga." Arnold rolls his eyes. I look at him with a slightly hurt expression. A little manipulating, I suppose, but it has the desired effect.

"All right." Arnold nods, then pulls down his own covers and gets inside. It's actually a pretty comfy fit. This is a full size bed, luxurious for just myself, but even with the two of us together, it's quite cozy. "Hey, you didn't tell me that you sleep in a nicer bed than mine."

"You never asked." I reach under my nightstand for a recent gift presented to me in celebration of the nuptials. "Here we are, complements of Big Bob himself."

"Champagne?" Arnold examines the bottle. "Aren't we supposed to be 21?"

"Yeah, well, I won't tell if you don't." I shrug at him. "Besides, you do realize that this will be the first time the two of us will be sleeping in the same bed since the night we were married?"

"I guess you're right. Funny, I haven't really thought about it. I mean, when this first started, I was just. . .looking for the fastest way out. But now, it's like I'm used to it. It's not what I would've chosen, but it really hasn't been all bad. I think I've gotten used to it."

"Ah, so I'm not all bad, am I?" The smile I flash him is my best. I want to him to see me as a woman, as his wife. I want him to see that there's so much more to me than the Helga he thinks he knows. And that I can be more. Please, God, just give me this chance to prove myself!

"No, I suppose you're not. You know, Helga, when we were kids, I wish we could've been more like this."

I raise my eyebrow rather high at that remark. "Oh so? I didn't realize that you had a thing for me back then. Or ever, really. As I recall, it was the perfect girl with braids and freckles you were trying to win over."

"I didn't mean the whole marriage thing, Helga. What I meant was. . .I just wanted to be able to have a regular conversation with you, like any of the other kids. But you always gave me such a hard time. And then after middle school, it was like you kind of disappeared from my life." Arnold finished his thought quietly, almost as though he were traveling back to those times.

I blink my eyes at him, also aware of our past. Or lack of it. "Well, it seemed to me that we just got too old for teasing, Arnold. And, well, we were on different social paths. I let you go because I was afraid to draw any more attention to it. You know how you puberty is. If I had continued to pay that kind of attention to you, people would have noticed. Some people already had. So, I withdrew. I found other ways to express myself. I never heard many complaints about how the school paper was run."

"It was a good paper." Arnold agreed. "But you were only the editor-in-chief for senior year."

"True, but I was the real power on the paper, even if I didn't have the title until recently. I was their best writer with a bullet and everyone knew it. But that wasn't what it was about to me. It just kept me busy. I did some stuff on the side, too. I never could shrug off fourth grade completely. Simmons is always after me for poetry contests and the likes. He actually showed up at my house once! I guess he means well. I have to admit, I did enjoy the occasional cash prizes."

"See, I never knew any of this stuff about you. Why did you always have to hide from everyone?"

"I still do." I have to admit that. "I don't know, Arnold, I just. . .I'm afraid, you know? I have a fear of rejection. A really big fear of rejection. Do you have any idea what this is like for me? The only reason I'm finally able to talk to you is, well, it's not as though I can hide it anymore, right?"

"You know, Helga, if you would just act like this, like your real self, you'd probably have less rejection to worry about, instead of just pushing everyone else away first. I do like you, but you make it so hard to communicate most of the time!"

"I guess this makes a start, then. But how am I ever going to get you to love me, hmm?"

"I don't think it's anything you can force. I think you should just be yourself, and maybe it will happen. You do realize that there's a possibility we could've been together for real by now if you hadn't worked so hard at keeping me at bay all these years."

I hate it when he's right. Especially about me. I mean, I really, really hate it! "Ironic, isn't it?" I exhale. "But it isn't very much of a likelihood. As I recall, you and Rhonda were rather close." I could see him cringe at that. Stupid, stupid, stupid! What am I thinking! Everything was going great until I had to drag his ex-girlfriend into this!

"Yeah, we were. Rhonda and I, things were. . .special, between us. This kind of thing was common for us. We were really intimate."

Something inside me exploded with pain. I should've expected this. They had gone out for close to two years. She obviously would've gotten to him first. But somehow, I know that Rhonda Lloyd has managed to forever steal a piece of me that I can never have back. "So, you slept with Rhonda?"

"Yeah, lots of times. I mean, I slept with her. I didn't sleep with her. We talked about it a few times, and it was really hard to hold back, but. . .I was worried that it might be something we would regret. I never really knew where Rhonda and I were going, the whole time I was with her. And then it was like we woke up one morning and realized we weren't going anywhere. It's not that we didn't like each other, I still think she's great! But we were just spinning our wheels. If we stayed together, we probably would've ended up getting married and drifted off into a kind of loveless relationship where we just would've. . .accepted each other. But we both wanted more than that."

I can't keep the grin off my face as I dive at my love, burying him in a kiss I've waited years to show. I'm not certain, but I think he might be resisting. I don't care. I want him to know how much this means to me. I try to respect his own misgivings, keeping it soft and heartfelt. Reluctantly, I draw back, breaking the kiss in favor of an awkward embrace. I know I'm being silly, clutching to me like he's my child or something. But to know that there's even a chance that I might still be his first, or dare I even think it, his only! Okay, now I'm the one who's about to pass out!

"What was that for?" Arnold asks me with confusion.

I shoot him an impish grin, feeling lucky. "Just a little reminder that blondes have more fun than brunettes."

Maybe it's the genuine feelings coming out of me that he can sense, or maybe it's just my silk pajamas that he's burrowing into, but Arnold settles into the hug, and I guide us both down into the bed. I can't think of a better way to fall asleep. "Good night, sweet prince." I whisper into his ear before shutting my eyes. There's a flutter of motion on his side, and then I feel one of his arms wrap around my waist tenderly. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, I seek out his hand and twine it with my own as I burrow my head into the pillow for the night. I shut my eyes, feeling his warmth flowing through me and knowing that, for once, I'll finally have pleasant dreams that open onto a perfect reality.

My thoughts are interrupted a moment later. "Helga?"

"Yeah?" I ask sleepily.

"Um, what kind of perfume are you wearing. It smells. . .really nice."

Be still my heart! "I'm not wearing any perfume, Arnold." It's impossible to keep the grin out of my voice,

"Oh." He says quietly, suddenly holding on a little tighter. I can feel the rhythm of his breathing slow, and I match it, allowing us both to begin a good night's sleep. Tomorrow will be another day. But for now, I revel in the night.

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Swead Entertainment Proudly Presents:

A Lord Malachite Fanfic

Arnold Short Helga Pataki Rhonda Lloyd

Instant Gratification

The story of a young man and the girl of his screams.

Opens June