Chapter 6

Get the Message

"Sara, you're late," Gil Grissom didn't even need to look up from the case file he'd been studying as Sara Sidle walked into the common room. The rest of the team were already there, they'd all been discussing a case when Sara had stepped in – ten minutes later than she should have. .

Sara stepped in, her expression sheepish, she sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep," she said, she gave Gil a pointed look, as if to say 'and you know why', and dropped into a seat, she folded her arms casually over her chest.

Gil closed the folder he'd been gazing into, "I didn't sleep at all, since yesterday, Sara, I still made it here on time. Earlier than usual, in fact," he added nonchalantly.

This had certainly been true. After everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, Gil had found it incredibly impossible to sleep at all. After taking her to breakfast – and remaining as nonchalant about what had happened in the desert as he could – he'd driven Sara home, and then gone home himself, feeling exhaustion weigh on him, but by the time he'd finally got to bed, he'd been unable to blank his mind out for sleep.

With the new relationship he'd started with Sara in the last twenty-four hours, new concerns arose. How was he going to deal with it at work, how would it affect his job, and how could he hide the relationship from everyone – especially Catherine Willows, who was far too perceptive when it came to his personal life.

It had concerned him so much, he hadn't gotten a single wink of sleep. He'd come to work an hour early to try and clear some of the backlog of work he had.

"You must be exhausted," Sara said, sounding quite concerned.

"I wouldn't feel too worried about my well being," Gil responded sharply, he then softened his tone, "I've had enough coffee to fill a tank – I'll be just fine."

Sara was looking at him as if he might be a stranger.

"I wouldn't question it too much, Sara. He's in a grouchy enough mood as it is," Catherine mumbled under her breath, she talked behind her hand as if she determined that she wouldn't let Gil see or hear what she was saying.

"I heard that," Gil responded indifferently. "Sara, you're going to be working with Warrick – gunshot victim in an alley, he'll fill you in on the case," Gil stood up, he picked up his folders.

Sara blinked and glanced up to him as he stood, "you and me…uh…aren't teaming up today?" she asked, she brushed her hair away from her face.

Gil glanced around at everyone, then to Sara. He could already imagine the thoughts that might be crossing through their minds. "Uh…no," he said quietly. "I have reports to see to," he added. "You'll do fine," he assured, and forced a confident smile.

Sara smiled back, perhaps a little more sweetly than she'd intended, because everyone seemed to notice.

Gil cleared his throat, "and you can wipe that sickly sweet smile off your face, it won't make your tardiness disappear off your record," he added in a rather professional manner. He saw her face drop, her eyes widen just a little, he wasn't sure if he'd just humiliated her or not.

He left the common room feeling utterly appalled by having made such a statement, but it had seemed like the best way to deal with that smile she'd given him. He'd known Catherine would notice above all people. He didn't need that happening, and the best way to deal with it had been to pretend Sara's smile had been perhaps a plea for him to take the ten minute tardy off her record.

Gil could already feel the start of a lovers quarrel in the making from this.

Maybe I have made a huge mistake thinking I could pull off having a romantic relationship with her whilst maintaining a professional relationship at work, he thought dully as he entered his office. Maybe this relationship is going to be even harder than I thought it'd be.

The next four hours passed by very quickly, and Gil buried himself as deeply as he could in his reports and other paperwork. It had been the first time in a very long time he'd managed to get through so much paperwork without growing incredibly bored and distracted. Having to concentrate on the paperwork made him forget all about Sara for the time being.

At least, until she showed up at his office door.

"Hey, you got a minute?" Sara asked, she stood with her shoulder against the threshold, her hands in her pockets.

Gil raised his eyes to the door, he had his pen poised in his hand and had just finished signing an order form for some new equipment. "Case related?" he asked hopefully, he chewed the inside of his cheek and waited for a response.

"Actually, uhm…no," Sara confessed, rather quietly as if she thought someone might overhear from the hallway.

"Shut the door, please," Gil said, waiting for her to come in and take a seat. He decided to continue working – just in case anyone should happen to look through the windows of his office and wonder what they were talking about. It was rare he gave his full attention to anyone if he was behind his desk drowning in paperwork.

Sara entered, shut the door behind her quietly, and she sat quietly on the chair opposing him on the other side of his desk. "I was just wondering…" she began, she trailed off, looking torn about how to say what she wanted to say.

"About earlier before you started your shift," Gil finished for her, he looked back down to his order form, he placed it in a pre-addressed envelope, and put it in his out tray. He kept his tone casual.

"Yes," Sara said, her tone rather hot.

He glanced quickly to her, then back to her work, she had a frown knitting on her brow. "I'm still your boss, Sara. Despite everything that happened this morning. Coming in late is still something I have to reprimand you for – I can't play favourites…" he sighed.

"But did you have to make me look like a complete idiot in front of everyone?" Sara asked, she seemed quite distressed by this.

"You were looking at me in a way that they just would have taken as too meaningful…I had to say something…I'm sorry if I was out of line, but…I had to do something…" He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated with this already. "What would you have had me do? Kiss you goodbye in front of everyone before I left the room?"

"No," Sara sighed.

"I was protecting this," he gestured between himself and her, "it's too soon for the others to know, they'd never understand. You know that and I know that," he explained. He tapped his pen absently on the desk, "I know it sounded like I was being mean, but believe me, I was just acting in our best interests."

Sara turned away from him, her eyes falling to the floor, she seemed deep in thought. "We should have talked about this at breakfast, Gil," she finally said, sounding perhaps a little more hostile than she might have intended.

"We probably should have, but we were tired, and we felt awkward, and we needed some time to breathe after what happened out there. We have plenty of time to discuss it, Sara," he scratched the bridge of his nose absently as he spoke.

"Okay," she nodded, she was about to stand.

"But while you're here, and no one can hear us," Gil picked up another order form, he signed it casually as he spoke, "lets just put a few ground rules down to get the proverbial ball rolling, okay?"

"Such as…?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow. There was something quite defiant on her face that Gil didn't like. She began to sit down again, looking slightly uncomfortable now.

"We maintain as much of the same relationship we've always had at work. Don't call me 'Gil'," he added. "Gil is personal – everyone else calls me Grissom. Catherine is more perceptive than any woman I've ever met, if she hears you call me Grissom, she'd immediately start to think about it, and start asking questions – you know what kinds of questions," he said very warningly.

Sara nodded, understanding.

Wow, you're handling this really well, Gil, he thought. Better than you thought you could. You're making rules, telling her how things will be – being really direct. Maybe the hard parts over, maybe it'll be easier from now on…

"I can't deal with Cath snooping right now," he continued after pulling himself out of his reverie, he folded the order form up and slipped it into an envelope, he scrawled an address on it quickly with his biro. He went on with his reel of rules, "We don't make plans with each other inside of working hours – that way we can never be overheard and found out," he added.

"You're acting like this is some kind of affair, and you're afraid of your wife finding out," Sara mused.

"Think of it as that," Gil said, "If I was married to my work, and work is my wife, then yes, I wouldn't want 'her' finding out," he explained. "It's an affair of that the powers that be find extremely offensive to my position. Me fraternizing with a subordinate under my supervision is enough to put my job in jeopardy," he reminded.

"I know," Sara responded, she looked away, her expression guilty, "I had thought of that…"

"Another rule…" Gil said, he licked the envelope, "personal relationship and working relationship have to be completely separate."

"So… no talking about 'us' at work, and no talking about 'work' inside of 'us'?" Sara asked.

Gil gave a firm nod, he tried to keep his voice as casual as possible, "Exactly."

"Will that actually work?" Sara queried, she looked thoroughly perplexed.

"Probably not," Gil said, "I never manage to keep to the rules I set myself," he said, "I'll probably be the first to screw up," he added, and he smiled at this honest admission.

Sara smiled at this, "so…tell me…how are we going to, uh...maintain a personal relationship if the only time we see each other is at work? How will I know if I'm going to see you outside of work if I don't ask you while you're at work?" she asked.

"I've thought of that," Gil confessed, "you can send text messages to my phone," he said, "only during dinner times of course," he said, "because then technically we're not working," he added. "But try and keep those messages simple, in case anyone should happen to look over my shoulder and see."

"You want me to write them in code?" Sara asked, very amused by the concept. She knew teenagers sent such messages to each other – it seemed a very childish but interestingly fun way to communicate.

"That'd work," Gil said.

Sara stood up, she wandered over to the door, but she stopped, "Y'know…I just can't believe…that…after all this time…we've just had this conversation," she said. "I actually can't believe what you've just admitted."

"What have I admitted?" Gil took off his glasses, and stared at her curiously.

She looked down to the floor for a moment, a coy smile playing about her soft pink lips, "That we're having a personal relationship."

"Aren't we?" he asked softly.

"You're not so tongue tied as you were this morning," Sara noted.

"It comes and goes," Gil responded quickly. "I'm not as nervous now as I was then," he added more carefully. "Maybe I'm too tired to be nervous, I don't know. But I'm not."

"Apparently so," Sara said, obviously amused by this.

"You're avoiding the question," Gil stated, he kept his eyes on hers, waiting to hear her response to his question.

"Am I?" Sara asked innocently. It wasn't the answer he'd been hoping for.

"Are we in a personal relationship or aren't we?" Gil asked.

She's making me squirm, I played games with her long enough, is she actually trying to get back at me now?

Sara smirked, "y'know…technically, I can't answer that, that's breaking the rules. You said it yourself…can't talk about 'us' at work," she seemed thoroughly pleased with her response, her eyes were laughing.

"Sara…" he said in a warning tone, he squinted at her.

"I have to go…" Sara grinned impishly, "Warrick is waiting for me in the ballistics lab," she opened the door.

"Aren't you going to answer my question first?" Gil queried.

"You'll get the message," Sara's eyes fell upon his cell phone which was lying on the desk, she winked and then left him alone in his office.

He had to smile at this, he shook his head and laughed softly.

Later that night, Gil found himself out on the field with Catherine for a case. Another body had been found in the desert, five miles south of where the original body he'd examined the night before had been found. What bothered him about this was that he and Sara had probably been parked less than a mile from the body had been. He felt terribly guilty about this, as if his feelings for Sara might have caused him neglect his work altogether.

Catherine insisted she drive, "you look like Hell," she'd said as they'd approached the parking lot, Gil had switched the alarm off on his SUV, and headed towards it. "I can't let you drive like that, Grissom, you'll fall asleep at the wheel," she said, she snatched the keys from him before he had anything to say on the matter.

He didn't mind. If he felt tired enough, he could sleep in the passengers seat while Catherine did the driving. Normally he wouldn't have been thrilled about letting a woman drive his car, but he wasn't in the mood to argue either. "Fine," was all he could manage, and he took to the passengers seat.

Catherine drove like a woman possessed towards the desert, and Gil couldn't have slept through it if he'd tried – the roads were uneven, and at the speed she was taking them at made it an incredibly bumpy journey.

Gil took out his cellular phone and glanced towards the screen to see if there were any messages. He was having to skip dinner for this forty minute journey out into the desert, so he was afraid he might miss any message Sara might send. Unfortunately, so far, he hadn't received anything, he frowned in disappointment, and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Expecting a call?" Catherine asked, noticing this.

"Kind of," Gil shrugged, he rolled up his window, sand was blowing in his face and into his hair.

"How come you didn't get any sleep – did you even go home?" Catherine asked casually.

"I had to come out here to examine a body," he gestured up towards the open road. He adjusted his seatbelt and promised himself he was never letting Catherine drive his car again. Every bone in his tired body could feel the rattle from the car as it sped down the uneven road.

"Oh, yeah, Sara said that," Catherine nodded.

"She did?" Gil felt suddenly alarmed, "what did she say?"

Why did Sara tell Cath she was with me? Why! Cath is going to put two and two together now and come up with five.

"That she needed a ride home, you were driving her home and halfway there you got a call from work so you took off, not wanting to waste time in dropping her off first," Catherine shrugged.

Not true, Gil thought. We were outside her apartment. Why did Sara tell her? Is she trying to make Catherine see what's going on?

"I thought she could do with the experience," Gil advised, "entomology can be handy to know, I had a few things to teach her."

"You must have put the poor girl to sleep right by the victim," Catherine rolled her eyes, "when you start talking about Bugs it's like smothering them with a chloroform soaked rag – puts them out like a light."

Gil had to smile at this. Okay, so Catherine seems to be buying it. He took his phone out of his pocket again and glanced at it, still no messages.

Catherine raised an eyebrow, "must be an important call, second time you've checked in twenty minutes."

Gil came up with an excuse, "Greg is supposed to phone me with the results to some DNA samples," he lied.

Catherine seemed to accept this, and let it drop.

The phone beeped shrilly right then, a message had arrived. Gil flipped it open eagerly, and selected the brand new message that had just come through.

From Sara Sidle. 12.45am.

He smiled slyly to himself, and chose the read option from the message menu.

25.5.19. 4.5.6.9.14.1.20.5.12.25. 16.5.18.19.15.14.1.12.

Gil blinked, nothing but numbers, the message was from Sara though, so he realised at once this was the code she'd joked about.

So this is the code…what is it exactly? He asked himself.

Catherine glanced over curiously, "what is THAT?" she could only see a small section of the numbers.

"Actually," Gil said, "I sometimes do the lotto – and I get one of those random number chooser things sent to me the day before I put it on," he explained, he marvelled at how quickly he'd managed to answer.

"Ohhhh," Catherine said.

Gil felt his cheeks flush crimson. Already he could tell Catherine was analysing this as if it were the latest crime to solve.

"Since when do you do the lotto? You want money like you want a hole in the head. Money never mattered to you."

Gil paused, this was true. "Well…you know, I figured I could do a lot for charity, or something," he shrugged, he wished she'd drop it.

"Fair enough," Catherine shrugged.

Gil spent some minutes trying to decipher this number code Sara had sent him. He couldn't make head nor tail of it.

What the hell is this? He pondered. I do advanced level crosswords, and I can't figure out this!

His mind was incredibly strained at this particular moment, and he was finding it incredibly hard to focus on the numbers at all. He failed in making sense of it.

Catherine and himself had arrived at the destination of the body before he could get much further with it.

Sighing, he put the phone in his pocket, and he got out to deal with the scene.

"I got your message."

Sara had been unlocking the door to her car at the end of her shift when Gil caught her outside in the parking lot. She turned to look at him, "oh?" she asked in response to his comment, she smiled in slight amusement as she opened the door to her car.

"Yeah," Gil stepped over, he kept his distance from her. People they both knew from work were going in and out of the building, and he didn't want to be noticed standing closer to her than he perhaps usually might.

Sara was about to climb into her car.

"Uh…"

Sara paused, "Hmm?"

"I didn't get it."

Sara laughed, "and you do advanced puzzles in the newspaper, and you couldn't figure out one of the simplest codes?"

Gil propped his elbow on the roof of the car, "to be fair," he said, "I have been over twenty-four hours without sleep."

Sara noted his car keys dangling from his other hand, "then you shouldn't even be driving. There's enough death on the road as it is."

Is she concerned for me or for the others on the road? Maybe both?

Gil shrugged, "I'm awake enough to make it," he assured.

Sara gave a half smile, "I could drive you home…" she suggested.

"I'll be fine," he nodded and gave a very slight wink. The awkward feelings revisited him right then, standing two feet apart from her, remembering how close they'd been twenty two hours ago, standing in the sunrise, embracing. The thoughts of their kiss floated back to him. How alive he'd felt. He wanted to feel that alive again.

"So…" Sara kept her stare on him.

"Uh…" Gil glanced towards the doors of the building, seeing no initial threat – no colleagues to eavesdrop. "So…uh…"

"Do…you want to get together later?" Sara asked, saying it for him.

He felt relief pound through his veins, "yes…yes, I would."

"You really need to get over this shyness of yours," Sara said very quietly, but she said it in the most loving way he was sure he'd ever heard her speak.

"I know," he quietly agreed, "it's not easy."

"I know," it was Sara's turn to agree now, "get some sleep and call me when you wake up," she uttered in her lowest voice, she spotted Warrick Brown stepping outside so decided it would be best to end the conversation quickly.

Gil gave a nod, "so…uh…what about the message?" he asked.

"You'll figure it out," she replied, still rather smug.

Gil then watched her climb into her car, and drive off. He felt an ache of loneliness when she'd gone that he hadn't expected.

"And so it begins," Gil said to himself quietly.

"Hmm?"

Gil turned to see Warrick standing there with a thoroughly confused expression on his face at Gil's statement to himself. Warrick had obviously been passing by and overheard.

"Oh, just the sunrise," he covered his comment quickly as he gestured up to the sky, "so it begins," he explained.

"You really need to get some sleep, boss," Warrick shook his head with a smirk and walked away.

Gil smirked too, "Yes," he admitted to himself, "yes, I do."