Inevitable Break Downs

By: Kryptonite

*****

*One Month, Three Weeks Before*

Rogue was wandering in the halls. It had been days since she'd left her room.

" Rogue?" A boys' voice called softly. Rogue turned deadened eyes on him. Bobby swallowed hard, trying not to lose his edge. " I know that you've been through… a lot but I- I was just- just gonna say…" He trailed off, not knowing how to phrase his statement.

" I already saw you making out with Jubilee." Rogue's voice carried no emotion, just like her eyes.

" It didn't mean anything. Honest." Bobby pleaded, trying to get some sort of response out of Rogue. " I love you."

" Bobby?" Another voice entered the conversation. Bobby whirled at the sound, eyes wide with the expression of a deer caught in the headlights. " I thought-" Jubilee's words were lost in a choked off sob. A hand went to cover her mouth as her eyes started to water.

" Jubes, I-" Jubilee didn't bother to listen, turning instead and running down the hall. When Bobby turned back to where he had left Rogue she was gone too. He was left alone in the hallway, realizing he had lost two relationships in one shot. " Way to go, Iceman." He spat sarcastically before opting to follow Jubilee.

Rogue waited until he had left before re-entering the hallway, walking with dragged steps back to her private room.

*****

" Has anyone seen Rogue lately?" Logan asked after dinner, asking the Rec. room in general. A chorus of 'no's answered him with two 'yes's adding to the mix.

" She's probably in her room." Bobby answered, staring miserably at the TV set.

" Thanks Iceman." Logan said, slapping the boy on the shoulder. Bobby winced in pain but let it go. Logan stalked out of the Rec. room and up the stairs. He sniffed a few times, noticing that Rogue's unique scent was indeed stronger around her room than anywhere else in the house.

Taking a deep breath Logan stepped closer to the door, rapping two knuckles on the dark stained wood. " Kid?" No one had seen Rogue for days; she had practically barricaded her inside her room.

" Go away." He barely made out Rogue's voice, soft as it was.

" I'm not leaving until you let me in." He heard shuffling as she moved farther away from the door. He slammed his open palm into it. " Dammit kid open up!" Her scent suddenly changed but Logan didn't recognize it as he waited a few more seconds before pounding on the door again.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. Scott had come out of his room a few days previously and looked much better, now that he had some food under his belt.

" Stop Logan, you're scaring her."

" She needs to be scared. She's not the only one who lost Jean. Look at you and me, we're still functioning properly. Rogue needs someone to slap some sense into her."

Scott bristled at his words. " People grieve differently Logan. Rogue decided to take some time off. We don't know what's going through her head and reducing her door to splinters won't help. And who would 'slap some sense into her'? Huh? You? The way you're going you're likely to knock her head clean off!" Logan growled, shoved Scott into the wall behind him and stalked off.

Scott shook his head out and tapped lightly on Rogue's door. " He's gone. I hope you'll talk to someone Rogue."

Everyone grieves in their own way. Some make a big production out of it, making sure everyone else knows. Others lock themselves in their rooms, trying to hide away from what is wrong. Which way is right? Which way will help you get over your emotional turmoil? Neither, both just delay the inevitable break down that comes with the loss of someone or something you loved.

*****

A/N: Alright, Roguechere made the comment about Logan's personality. I want to say thanks before I try to explain and just make everyone more confused :D Okay first, Rogue does have depression so yes Logan is being portrayed as a little more of a jerk than he really is. That doesn't mean Logan isn't seriously a jerk. And I guess one thing to say about the Logan in her head would be that he's been… twisted.

You have to think back a bit and remember Rogue's 'consciousness' that I mentioned a while ago… yes I know it was a long while ago but I did mention her… him… it, in Chapter Ten Accepting Miracles. Basically that means that anyone good or wanting to help Rogue/Marie would be twisted according to the consciousness will.

Another thing with his personality is that I've really tried to think about how I want his character to be (I even had a few nice long chats with him while I'm writing) and the best I can do is this.

Logan loved Jean, really loved her. But he also saved Rogue's life four times, so to him, that makes Rogue 'his'. It's the animal possessiveness. He doesn't really want Rogue, he just considers her his so Scott's advances in Check weren't welcomed. The whole 'loving emotions' part was basically his way of trying to get back in. Not to mention Logan's own mind is screwed up.

Another thing is I'm basically having him trying to replace Jean with Rogue. He misses Jean so he figures Rogue can be a fill-in. If you can't have the real thing… Anyway, Logan has so very few things that he can claim as 'his' so obviously something changing to make Rogue no longer his is bad. Not to mention when he left he expected her to just run straight into his arms like she did in the second movie. He expected her to still 'love' him when he returned. He may have loved Jean but he still expected Rogue to act like she always had. It comforted him that he had a back up for when Jean said 'no'.

Does this help anybody? Cause it really confused me as I read back over it… Hope that helped Roguechere. One more thing I saw as I went back over this chapter is that Logan is very, very, very angry. Happy Holidays everyone!