Chapter 17

Shocked

Gil regretted going to work that night. The moment he'd gone through the doors into the building and seen the receptionist look at him strangely he'd known it had been a mistake.

Be honest, Gil, you knew it was a mistake before you'd even opened the box. You knew it was a mistake when you saw it in the mirror, he shook his head at himself in disgrace.

He'd wanted to hide in a big black hole and not come out for several weeks – or at least until the hair dye faded away completely.

He deposited his jacket and his kit in his office, and then left to go to the common room to hand out the assignments that had been left on his desk, as he walked he sifted through the folder of print outs. He passed by the lab and although he wasn't looking, he could feel Greg Sanders eyes happen upon him through the glass. Gil picked up his pace and hurried to the common room.

When he stepped into the common room, he heard Catherine's audible gasp. Sara had been sipping coffee and spluttered, where as Warrick almost choked on his gum. They all looked at him with their blank faces as if he might have been a stranger who had just sauntered in.

Sara's expression was perhaps the most blank of all.

"Who are you and where did you hide the real Gil Grissom?" Catherine finally managed.

"Very funny. Remind me to write 'sense of humour' in your next evalutation," Gil remarked sarcastically.

"What have you done to yourself?" Catherine asked, she stood up to walk over and examine further as if she couldn't quite believe her eyes.

"He's found the fountain of youth, I think," Warrick snickered.

"Assignments," Gil took a seat, trying to change the subject quickly.

Sara was looking at him questioningly, she looked alarmed, her mouth hanging open, her dark eyes wide.

Gil felt considerably stupid. He'd gone to lengths to dye his hair, but he'd shaved off his beard too at the suggestion of the girl from the drugstore, and he realised the results were far too severe – perhaps incredibly too severe for a man of his age.

This is humiliating, he thought as he glanced around him, their expressions were all still completely shocked. He tried to shrug off the embarrassment by thinking of work.

"Cath, Nick," he cleared his throat, "victim found dead in a nightclub," he handed the details to Catherine, "and Sara and Warrick – missing woman under mysterious circumstances," he handed the details for this case to Warrick.

"Uhm…" Sara cleared her throat, "is there any reason for this…uh…particular new look you've taken on?" she was smirking a little, she stood up and moved to Warrick to see the details for their case.

Gil winced, okay, now he definitely understood how she'd felt yesterday. So this is what they call payback, is it? He thought.

"it's a long story," he glanced towards her warningly. "One that I'm not going to go into," he added, a sharp bite to his tone.

"Must be a younger woman," Catherine teased, she nudged his shoulder playfully, and winked at him, then left the common room with Nick tagging behind.

Warrick glanced to Sara, "I gotta go grab my jacket from my locker, I'll meet you at the car."

Sara nodded, and watched him go, she and Gil were left alone in the common room, she was standing two seats away from him.

"Don't say a word," Gil warned, his cheeks blazing red.

"It's very, uhm…" Sara began, her eyes were dancing as if she might be ready to laugh.

"Don't," Gil put up a hand, pointing a finger at her, "not one…single…word," he stood up quickly, "I have lots of work to do – and so do you. Excuse me…"

"Okay, so…is this a midlife crisis thing, or what?" Catherine asked as she dropped herself into the chair opposite his desk during dinner break. Gil was still feeling so humiliated and in an attempt to avoid any questions being asked he'd decided to eat on his own. "First the dating a younger woman, then suddenly hair dye and clean shaven?"

Catherine's beeline right to his office hadn't surprised him though, she always seemed intent on getting to the bottom of things, and after what he'd done to his image, he had expected her to have come to his office to query about it long before now.

Gil simply looked at her, and didn't answer, "is there something you wanted."

"Yes…I wanted to know what stunning shade of black you dyed your hair with," Catherine pursed her lips together to stop from laughing. "Come on, what happened? Suddenly the fifteen year age difference between you and Sara hit you like a brick in the face, did it?"

"No, it didn't," Gil slipped his glasses on and pretended to be more interested in reading the book he'd been reading whilst eating his sandwich.

"Then what?"

"I don't know, okay. I felt like a change," he grumbled.

"You don't like change," Catherine responded, "which is probably why it's taken so damn long for you to actually ask Sara out."

"What makes you think I was the one to ask her out?" Gil suddenly asked, he looked at her over the frames of his glasses.

"Because usually these things have to be on your terms or not at all," Catherine folded her arms comfortably over her stomach. "But wow…this must be love, Gil."

"Why do you say that?" Gil glanced over at her from behind his book.

"Because you've never gone to this kind of extreme for any other woman," Catherine answered, "and god knows, there's been quite a few of those through the years," she added.

Gil put his book down, "not as many as there's been for you," he responded rather insolently.

Catherine merely laughed, "all I'm saying is that you've never gone and dyed your hair for any other woman…"

Gil sighed, "Look, I don't want to talk about it."

"Are you afraid she'll leave you for a younger guy or something?" Catherine asked.

"Catherine, pleased, I'd love to maintain whatever miniscule scraping of dignity I have left," Gil put his book down with an angry thud.

Catherine's voice softened, "you know you can talk to me."

"I know that, I just don't feel like talking about it," Gil stood up and grabbed his jacket, "I'm going out."

"Where?" Catherine raised an eyebrow.

He frowned, "Out…field work or something, I don't know, just out."

As he opened the door just before leaving he heard Catherine say the words "yup, midlife crisis."

"Midlife crisis," he uttered under his breath after climbing into his car forty minutes after his shift had ended. He'd chosen to leave later to avoid running into any of his team as they were leaving. He wasn't in the mood for the embarrassing questions right now. The only question he himself was interested in was how he was going to somehow get back to normal by tomorrow.

Gil shook his head at himself, he felt like banging his head repeatedly off of the steering wheel until perhaps some of the sense he had once maintained might return to him.

He heard a knock at the drivers side window, and he turned to see Sara standing there, she was wiping her hands on a rag, she had an oil smear on the front of her dark green tee.

He rolled down the windows, "hey," he said softly, "I thought you'd be home by now," he admitted.

"Well…I probably should be," Sara admitted, "except my car just…basically died again," she sighed.

Gil might have offered to fix the car for her, but it was dark, and set to rain. Fixing a car in those conditions was somewhat impossible, "I'll give you a ride home," he offered.

Sara smiled, "thanks," she said softly. She went away to close the hood of her car, and lock the drivers door, then she climbed in at the passenger side, and pulled on the seatbelt.

Neither of them said anything for most of the drive to Sara's apartment building, although Gil could feel it building up. An apprehensive curiousness that wasn't going to fade any time soon.

"Ask it," he finally sighed, it being the first thing he'd said since he'd offered to drive her home.

"Why."

"I don't know why," he said shaking his head, "I keep doing these incredibly stupid things lately…things that just defy all logic…for me at least," he admitted, he stopped at a red light.

"I think I preferred you as you were."

Gil turned to look at her, "are you serious?"

Sara gave a slight nod, "yeah," she answered, she wasn't looking at him though, she was paying attention to the traffic lights up ahead.

Gil leaned over and kissed her cheek impulsively, overjoyed by this statement, "thank you," he murmured near her ear, then composed himself again in his seat.

Sara smirked at the very quick display of affection from him. She suddenly turned to him, "this isn't about what Jeremy said, is it?" she asked.

"Uh…I don't remember anything he said," Gil made a gesture over his head as if the comments had quite literally passed by him.

"Thinking you were my father," Sara reminded.
"I thought nothing of that, statement," Gil lied very quickly, he looked back to the lights, the lights changed to green, and he accelerated, then turned down Sara's street. "I forgot all about it."

Sara reached over and ran her finger across his clean shaven face, "I miss the beard," she confessed.

"It'll grow back," he assured.

"And this…?" she touched his hair.

"Washes out – so I was told."

"I hope so…it just…I don't know, it isn't you."

"I know, I know," he shook his head at himself again.

Sara remained silent for a moment or two, then she turned to look at him, "You don't need to look young to be…attractive," she admitted. "I always thought you were good looking…especially with the grey in your hair…" she admitted, sounding quite pensive.

Gil sighed, "It was a stupid, stupid, stupid thing to do. But at least I've learned a lesson."

"Which is?" Sara asked, raising an eyebrow.

He smirked, "The next time I get an impulse to change my image – I should just ignore it."

I had too much fun writing this chapter.

Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, it means the world to me, it really does.

Thanks to gglovebug for not only saying she was enjoying my fanfic, but also giving me advice about GSR music video making :)

- SS