INVADER ZIM:
Starring in
SOMETHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH DAISIES
Chapter III:
Disclaimer: My desperate attempts to steal the tv show series Invader Zim have obviously failed, so until I succeed (ONE DAY! Oh YES one day…) I must disclaim all IZ characters. So don't sue me!
/gets arrested for stealing cooking pans from Wal-Mart/
(Just to be safe, I really didn't steal anything! I'm innocent! SERIOUSLY! Oh, come on; don't look at me that way!)
Outside in the front yard-
Gir: So, squirrel, what do you want to do today?
Squirrel: …
Gir: …
Cricket: …(wow, not even a chirp!)
Squirrel: …
Gir: Well, I'm going to go make a cake, want to come with me?
Squirrel: …
Gir: Ok, well, I'll see you tomorrow!
Squirrel: (Runs away)
Gir: (Comes into the house)
Zim: GIR!
Gir: …Yeeess?
Zim: Gir, did you get those daisies yet?
Gir: wha?
Zim: The daisies! I sent you outside to gather up the daisies again, Gir.
Gir: …Oooh yeaaaahh….
Zim: …You didn't get them, did you?
Gir: No
Zim: Argh…I'll get them myself!
Gir: Okie dokie, byeee
Meanwhile, as Zim was gathering the daisies while trying to come up with a workable plan to create a daisy doom on Dib (hah! That sounded cool)-
Dib: (After the doom of his old camera, buys a new one by stealing money from Gaz) Yes! A new camera! (Holds it up in the parking lot of the store) Bwahahaha! (Runs back home. Yes, he ran all the way from the store back to his house. Amazing, huh? Moving on…)
Gaz: (Gets done with the last level of GS2) Yes! I beat it! Now I can buy the new GS3 that just came out today. Luckily I've been saving up my money for this. (Coincidentally sees the commercial for the new GS3, watches it with awe) Must have it now! (Goes to her piggy bank, only to find out its EMPTY!)
Dib: (Gets home finally, tries to open front door, it's locked, so he knocks)
Gaz: Forget it, Dib! You're not coming in until u give me back that $30 you stole from me!
Dib: But Gaz! I don't know what you're talking about!
Gaz: I know you stole my money that I've been saving up since last Christmas for my new GS3, now until u give it back to me you're staying outside.
Dib: Ok, fine, I stole it. I'm sorry, though! I had to buy a new camera!
Gaz: Don't you already have a camera?
Dib: No. Well, yes, but it got smashed. That alien smashed it! Now I need a new one so I can get more evidence and stuff. The fate of the Earth rests upon my shoulders, Gaz, don't you understand?
Gaz: Oh, I understand alright. I understand that you're sleeping outside tonight.
Dib: GAZ! Ok, I'll take a few pictures of Zim, then return the camera, and buy your new GS3
Gaz: And until then, I'm not letting you inside.
Dib: Could you throw me my extra film box, then?
Gaz: (Throws it out the window and it hits Dib's head)
Dib: X.x thanks… (Walks off, puts film in the camera and heads off to Zim's house. Then, on the way, trips over squirrel. I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE HIM FALL ONE DAY! BWAHAHAHA!) AHH! (Falls, dropping his camera)
Squirrel: EEEP! x.x
Dib: (Gets up and looks at squashed squirrel, and smashed camera) Oh no! The camera! It's broken! What do I do now?
Gir: (Heard Squirrel's 'eep') SQUIRREL! I HEARD YOU CALL ME!
Dib: o.o
Gir: (Runs to where Dib and squished squirrel are) …Squirrel? SQUIRREL? WHYYYYYYY! I LOVED YOU SQUIRRELLY! I LOVEEEDDD YOUUUU! (Sobs) Who killed Squirrel?
Dib: Uh…not me!
Gir: YOU KILLED SQUIRREL! (Runs in house crying)
Dib: Uh… (Looks down at broken camera, picks it up) I knew you well…So long, my alien evidence sidekick…picture…taking….device!
At Zim's house, later on-
Gir: (Still crying about Squirrel)
Zim: (Comes in with huge bag of daisies) Now, THAT'S how to do it, Gir. …Gir? GIR! What's wrong?
Gir: DIB SMUSHED DA SQUIRREL! (Sobs)
Zim: Eh? No time for that. Here, I got your tacos. Now be happy so I can get on with my plan.
Gir: O.O YAY! Gimme! (Devours tacos)
Zim: So, as I was saying- I being The Magnificent Zim, who is so magnificent that was able to magnificently come up with a magnificent plan to magnificently destroy the UN-magnificent Dib! Bwahahahaha!
Gir: ...
Zim: …
Gir: …Magnificent!
Zim: Yes. And according to these recent studies I've done on the internet, this woman, Dazandra Cleopatra, actually DIED from daisies! Strange name, though, yet now knowing this information, I am SURE that if a human could use daisies to kill someone, then certainly I the magnificent (here we go again)Zim could magnificently create Dib's doooooom!
Gir: How do you know someone used them to kill Ms. Cleopatra instead of her just dying on accident by them?
Zim: …Well that's a good point- wait….DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGENT?
Gir: Did I?
Zim: Say it again.
Gir: Say what again?
Zim: Something intelligent!
Gir: WAFFLES!
Zim: …I was probably just hallucinating…
Gir: Hallucinating: the act of hallucination, when the human brain is improperly functioning to make the human think like he's seeing something when realistically it is not there.
Zim: …O.O
Audience: -gasp- (Don't you just love it when you can go POOF and an audience appears? OH THE POWER!)
Gir: Zimmy got big eyes!
Zim: Gir, say what you just said again.
Gir: Zimmy got big eyes!
Zim: No! Before that! And I thought I told you not to call me Zimmy anymore!
Gir: Aww but it's cuuuuute, just like the monkey show! Woo!
Zim: Gir…you said two intelligent things today…
Gir: I know, I'm scared too…
Zim: So you are aware of this?
Gir: …of what?
Zim: That you said intelligent things!
Gir: I did?
Zim: YES!
Gir: Aw, gee, I didn't think waffles were so intelligent!
Zim: …I should just forget it…
Gir: …
Zim: …Are my eyes really that big? (Gets mirror out from nowhere (HOW DO THESE CHARACTERS DO THIS STUFF? BING! NOW I HAVE A MIRROR! BING! NOW I HAVE A CAR! BING! NOW I DIED! BING NOW I AM ALIVE AGAIN! IT'S FRIDGIN' CRAZY! …Sorry…I shall continue…) Zim Checks himself out in his mirror and BING! It's gone again!) (Zim goes down to his lab)
Silence-
Silence again, darn it, writer's block!-
After making Gir spend pointless hours watching tv, Chelle decides to add a few more twists into the storyline-
Gir: (Still watching tv)
TV: (news guy with another guy, interviewing him)
"With this new discovery of a cure for stupidity, no one will ever have to be stupid or put up with stupidity ever again! Now tell me, Professor Membrane, how did you come across this crazy cure?"
"Well, I could take all the credit for this new cure for stupidity, but I would have to give at least a little bit of credit to my son Dib. He was running around screaming the very thing that I used next to test to see if it were the cure for stupidity."
"And what would that be?"
"Daisies."
"So your son… Dib?"
"Yes."
"…what kind of name is that?"
"It was my wife's idea…"
"So Dib was running around the house, screaming 'DAISIES!' and you happened to hear him, and so you tested these daisies and they came out to be the cure for stupidity?"
"Yes."
"Amazing! Truly amazing!"
Gir: Daisies? O.o
TV: "Yes, daisies!"
Gir: The television talks to me! (Bows down and worships almighty talking-to-Gir tv)
Zim: (Comes up from his lab) Gir! …What are you doing? O.o
Gir: TV TALKS TO ME!
Zim: Umm…I'm not asking…
Gir: Daisies!
Zim: Yes…I have made a plan to create Dib's doom with daisies!
Gir: What if instead of it making Dib's doom, it makes him smarter? (Says in the most intelligent tone you could imagine coming from Gir)
Zim: (Jaw drops) What? …You sounded intelligent again! Gir! What's this all about!
Gir: what?
Zim: You!
Gir: Me! Weeeee!
Zim: …Why do you keep sounding intelligent?
Gir: I'm advanced! Yay! (Takes some tuna out of his robotic eye and sucks it up and eats it)
Zim: That's disgusting…Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go find Dib and create his doom! (Walks off with a bag of daisies)
Gir: Okie dokie! (Continues watching tv)
TV: (same people on it)
"So all you have to do is swallow 10 daisies and your stupidity will be turned into intelligence?"
"Yes. I do believe you could randomly spew out intelligent things if you eat less than 10 daisies though."
"So the more you eat, the more intelligent?"
"Seems so, Mr. Newsman."
Gir: (Turns off tv) Daisies! (Dances around)
Meanwhile, Zim tries to find Dib-
Zim: I WILL FIND YOU DIB! THEN I WILL TAKE THESE DAISIES, AND CHOKE YOU TO DEATH WITH THEM! BWAHAHAHAHA –choke gag-
Dib: (Is walking down the street past Zim)
Zim: I see you Dib!
Dib: Huh? Zim? What's he doing with those daisies? …Does he know that they cure stupidity? Man, he'd have to eat like a gazillion for him to be at least as smart as a monkey!
Zim: I am going to create your doom now, Dib!
Dib: And how is that?
Zim: First I will run up to you and catch you! Then I will take these daisies, and pick them up! Then I will shove them into your mouth until you choke! Then I will not do the Heimlich maneuver on you! Then you will DIE!
Dib: So you're going to make me eat daisies?
Zim: Pretty much. Except you'll choke on them, and DIE!
Dib: Bring 'em on! (Thinks 'he must not know they make you intelligent. After he makes me eat all those, I'll be intelligent enough to create HIS doom!')
Zim: (Goes up to him and shoves the first fistful of daisies into Dib's mouth)
Dib: (Chews them up)
Zim: (Sees he's not choking yet, and shoves another handful into his mouth)
Dib: (Chews, and swallows) The square root of 289 is 17
Zim: Huh? O.o …(continues shoving more daisies into his mouth)
Dib: (gags)
Zim: It's working!
Dib: (stops gagging and swallows) When an object is at rest, unless acted upon an outside force, will stay at rest. E mc squared. Water is H two O, which is two Hydrogens, and one Oxygen.
Zim: Why are you becoming so intelligent?
Dib: (eats more) (says something about rockets and stuff that I don't know about but Dib does now because he's intelligenting)
Zim: IT'S LIKE THE DAISIES ARE MAKING HIM SMARTER!
Dib: Exactly (Smirks) Thanks for the intelligence, Zim, after I eat all the daisies in the town, you won't have any to get any smarter! And I will be a gazillion times smarter than you! And you won't stand a fraction of the slightest chance!
Zim: Oh no! What have I done!
Dib: (Runs off with his intelligence)
Zim: Maybe that's why Gir was saying random intelligent stuff. He must've eaten a few daisies on the way back from picking them when I sent him that one time to get daisies. This is making too much sense! Ahhhh! What will I do when Dib eats all the daisies? What will happen when he's a gazillion times smarter than me? AND WHY AM I TALKING TO NO ONE? (Looks around and sees no one, crickets don't even chirp) Man…(Walks inside and goes to his lab)
WHAT WILL DIBS INTELLIGENT DO TO ZIM? WILL GIR SAY ANY MORE CREEPY SMART THINGS? WILL GIRS SQURELLY FRIEND RETURN FROM THE DEAD AND HAUNT DIB FOR KILLING HIM? WILL I EVER END THIS STUPID FANFICTION THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU'RE READING IT?
TO. BE. CONTINUED.