PASTA LA VISTA – chapter five
Spaceman Spiff looked down at the terrain ahead of him. There was a deep gorge with little rocks stuck out of the side so he could climb up or down. Inside the chasm was a Naggon with a telecommunicator in use.
"Greeble gork. Bliup drac wuzza puzza gnilt. Fook rom." The alien said. Spiff assumed it was a call for backup – they knew they were there. There was a sharp reply of crackles over the telecommunicator, and it was then tucked away.
Spiff nodded at his co-pilot, Stupendous Starfighter, and they slowly crept down the gorge using the stairs.
"SPIFF NARR!" The alien cried, and fired a death ray cannon at Spiff. A huge rockslide was created, and Spiff and Starfighter had been taken down. Spiff aimed his blaster and fired at the menacing beast.
Calvin and Tracer Bullet slowly descended from the window and acted like they were mountain climbing. They held onto the ropes and took jumps down before touching the side of the house again.
"Uh, chief, isn't this going to create some noise inside? And what if they look out the window and see us?" Tracer asked.
"I'm counting on Spaceman Spiff and Stupendous Man for that." Calvin said.
(PS – this little section is Stupendous Man's view of what Spiff saw at the beginning)
Stupendous Man crept out of the bedroom with tremendous ease, waling on terrific tip-toes. He had his sidekick, Super Spiff, by his side. He peered through the balcony's railings. His arch-nemesis, Mom-Lady, was on the phone.
"Yes, dear. I'll see you in 10 minutes. Bye!" she said. Stupendous Man and Spiff slowly crept down the staircase, without making a sound. Suddenly, Mom-Lady turned his way.
"Stupendous Man!" Mom-lady said, surprised to see him. She fired some sort of Amazonian beam from her eyes at Spiff and he collapsed from the staircase and tumbled down onto Stupendous Man.
As the two heroes laid on the ground, Spiff started to draw a dart gun (the one Calvin uses in the comics) from behind his back. He fired at Mom-lady and a dart hit her square on the forehead. She was in shock only momentarily, but that was enough time for them to make a get-away.
Mom-Lady pursued, and Spiff took the dart gun and aimed while running. He hit her with the dart, but ran into a bookcase and disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. Mom-lady didn't seem to notice though, and kept going after Stupendous Man.
As Calvin and Spiff got halfway down the house, Tracer Bullet slipped. Calvin hadn't thought to make harnesses, so Tracer started to fall to the ground. Calvin reached out a hand to grab him, but it was too late. The alter-ego flew to the ground and vanished in a puff of blue smoke.
"Woah." Calvin said in marvel. He didn't have much time to wait, because he saw his dad's car about a block down.
"What is he doing home so early?" Calvin said to himself in panic. Calvin forgot about jumping and climbed down the rope rapidly. If his dad caught him, the Noodle Incident was going to be revealed! Reaching the end of the rope, Calvin jumped the remaining 3 feet and made a dash to the backyard just as dad pulled in the driveway.
Stupendous Man made a stupendous dash into the kitchen just as Calvin started fiddling with the back door. The door was locked! Stupendous Man took a big pot and put it over Mom-lady's head, banging the pot wildly.
Stupendous Man dashed back for the door as Mom-lady regained consciousness and threw the pot at him. Stupendous Man jumped and lunged for the door as the pot wedged under him and tripped him backwards. Calvin cried out, but it all seemed slow-motion. The mighty hero's world went blue for a moment, and then he was back at his Super Headquarters.
Calvin realized the seriousness of the situation and made a dash back to the house, before bumping into his dad.
"Going somewhere, Calvin?" asked his dad. Calvin tried to look innocent. "I saw you running away from me. What's wrong?"
Calvin realized the situation was hopeless and gave his dad the letter. His dad opened up the letter and his face went bleak. Calvin looked down at the ground, depressed.
"Calvin, you really need to work on your grades more." His dad said.
"What?" Calvin asked, confused.
"Your report card is in here. You have pulled an F- in every class from Art to Social Studies." His dad said.
Calvin lit up in joy and hugged his dad. No noodles to worry about.
"Calvin, your teacher called!" his mom called from the house. "Something about noodles… do you know anything about them?"
"NO!" Calvin cried, before running away.
THE END