Chapter 23

Second Thoughts

"Grissom…I'm having second thoughts…"

It was the end of the shift when Gil raised his eyes to the door to hear Sara say this, she stood with her shoulder against the threshold, the forms Gil had handed to her earlier were one hand, her other hand was in the pocket of her leather jacket.

"Oh?" Gil asked, he wasn't sure if she was referring to their relationship or this trip. "Come in," he offered. He put down the pen he'd been writing with and gazed at her.

Sara came in, and this time closed the door, she then stood in front of his desk rather than stand.

"Second thoughts about…?" Gil queried.

"The trip, of course," Sara responded.

Gil tried not to be hurt by the sting of her beginning to have second thoughts about the trip already, "Well…you thought it seemed like a good idea at the start of the shift…obviously something has happened to change your mind, so tell me, what's left you in doubt?"

"I heard Warrick talking to Nick, Gil," she said, "I think they might suspect something…" her expression was full of concern.

Gil took his glasses off, and let them dangle from his hand as he stared at her, "what makes you think that?" he asked, he too was now full of concern.

"Well…I was heading to the locker room to get something from my locker, and I heard them talking and what I heard made me stop just before getting to the door. They were talking about relationships between colleagues and how it could mess things up and it was such a big risk…it makes me think maybe they know…and have known for a while."

"What exactly was said?" Gil asked, he propped one elbow on the desk and let his chin rest on his knuckles.

"Well…" Sara paused, and she fell silent for a moment, her eyes squinting as she looked away, trying to remember exactly, "Warrick said 'relationships between colleagues are frowned upon, do you know how risky this is? These kind of things change everything'. Nick made some comment as he agreed, then Warrick said 'asking out someone who works in the lab is one thing, but getting close to someone you work with all the time just seems like asking for trouble…'."

Gil drew in his breath, "it sounds like you're right but…lets look at this from a logical point of view as if this were a case we were dealing with…all we have are words…no real evidence at all right? No names were mentioned, no proof was mentioned. Let us not assume that they suspect…"

"Then what should we do…?"

"I need time to think about that," Gil confessed, "In the meantime, I wouldn't worry too much…if they did know, I doubt they would pass the information on to anyone else…"

"Are you kidding me?" Sara asked incredulously, "anyone passing the locker room could hear what they said – I did," she reminded. "If they're that careless to talk about it in a room with an open door, then what makes you think they wouldn't turn around and tell the next person they see?"

"Sara, they're your colleagues, you're meant to trust them," Gil reminded, he felt suddenly as if he'd switched from being the man in Sara's life, to being the supervisor in her life. It was a strange shift, and he remembered this was why he had originally wanted to maintain the personal relationship and work relationship separate – occasions such as this were a prime example of why things should be kept separate.

"I know," Sara sighed, "but…"

"But nothing," Gil put his hand down with a soft thud on the desk, "lets not jump to conclusions, alright?"

"Alright…" Sara responded, still sounding a little overwhelmed and unsure.

"Now, about the trip," Gil stated, and waited for her to comment on this.

"I just don't think it would be a good idea to go on this trip with you if they suspect something – or know something…" Sara explained, "What if they think you picked me purely for the reason that we would be together?"

"Sara, Warrick knows I'm not like that," Gil admitted, "Nick does too – even Catherine does."

"How do they know? You're a total mystery to everyone in this department," Sara reminded.

Gil just smiled, "they know enough to know I wouldn't choose you to go on this trip purely for the wrong reasons," he admitted.

But you did, didn't you? You didn't choose her to go away to be together with her, you didn't choose her at all, Catherine dropped you into this mess, he thought in disgust with himself.

"So," Gil continued, "you're still going, I won't take no for an answer, I think this will be a good thing for you. I'm not saying this because of any hidden attentions or plans to be with you, I'm saying it as your supervisor. I chose you to go because I think you deserve the chance to go – just as I'd choose Catherine, Warrick, Nick or even Greg. My choosing you had nothing to do with our personal relationship at all."

Liar, liar, pants on fire, his thoughts screamed.

Despite he had forced himself to lie about why he'd chosen her, he found himself meaning that at some point he would have chosen her professionally to accompany him on a lecture trip, and he did think that she could benefit from some of the things she might learn by this trip, not to mention would benefit from more free time. She'd been working too hard, she deserved this break.

"I will look into the conversation you overheard between Warrick and Nick, I'll find out as much as I can and I'll deal with it accordingly, but as I said, in the meantime, don't worry."

Sara nodded, "Alright, I'll try, can't make any promises though," she placed the forms she'd brought with her on his desk, they were all filled out and signed.

Gil took the forms and placed them right in front of him on the desk, "I'll deal with these right now before I leave…unless…" he paused, "Do you need a ride home?"

"Actually, I got my car back today – its working again, for now," she assured.

"Alright…" Gil nodded, he wasn't sure if this meant she wanted to see him now that the shift had ended or not.

"Anyway, I better go," Sara shrugged, she opened the door and paused between the hallway and the office, "gonna go have breakfast…at this out of the way diner, they make decent waffles," she explained.

Gil picked up the hint, this was her way of saying 'I'm going to the diner where we met for breakfast for the first time – be there'. He had no intentions of turning her down, especially if she was perhaps going to go there anyway, and could possibly run into this Jeremy who had been there before.

Gil gave a very vague nod, just so that anyone passing by who happened to see wouldn't catch on. "Tonight is your night off," he said, looking at the calendar on his desk, "so I guess I'll see you when you start your shift tomorrow…" he said. He knew she'd understand he was saying this merely for pretence in case anyone should be passing by.

"Bye," Sara waved, and disappeared out of the office, she shut the door behind herself.

Gil glanced at his watch and made a mental note to leave in fifteen minutes to meet her. With that, he began to busy himself making arrangements for the trip.

Thanks to people for reviewing, I want to sit and mention the names of those who reviewed more than 3 lines long but I'm about to go to bed, I haven't slept for a few days but I stayed upjust so I could write this chapter. Are people gluttons for punishment in asking for more of this fic or what! LOL. I'm having a blast writing it!

Ah, anyway, I'll write and update more tomorrow if I can.