Be Careful what you Wish For
You know, I've finally realized something. My imagination has an absolutely twisted sense of humor even worse than mine. Here I am, trying to jump-start some idea of what I'm supposed to do next for this story, and not getting any help at all. So, finally, I get some inspiration. For my novel. Which I've had put on hold for months, due to lack of ideas. See, twisted. So, to be my usual obstinate self, I'm writing here instead. Yes, I realize I'm insane. And I'm happy that way, so no need to call the men in white coats. Anyhow, hope you enjoy this chapter, and remember to review!
Disclaimer: The Labyrinth, nope, not mine. That ought to appease the lawyers. Sparrow and Andros, however, do belong to me. If you want them for a story, please ask first.
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Chapter 5: Let's just hope there's no Minotaur out there
"I am insane."
Sparrow had always known she was odd, but she hadn't truly ever questioned her sanity until right now. On a hill overlooking the gargantuan structure known as the Labyrinth, she was this close to carting herself off to the nearest loony bin.
Just –how- did she think she'd be able to help Toby through –that-? Barring having no physical strength to speak of and more medical problems than should really be necessary…she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Not that she usual did, but she was usually better at getting people to believe she did. But this…
"Second thought?" Gya! She'd forgotten Andros was still there. Well, he didn't have to sound so smug!
"Second, third, and fourth." Sparrow replied dryly. "But that's never stopped me before. And neither are you, so save any last minute attempts to dissuade me. I'm damned stubborn when I want to be."
"As you wish." Andros sighed. "Just be careful, huh? Try to make it through in one piece, so Jareth will have more to work with when he tips you into the Bog."
"Funny one, aren't you?" Sparrow said, with a little bark of a laugh. She was terrified, though she wouldn't admit it to the likes of Andy. And she still didn't know what she was doing. Except that Toby would need help, or at least some moral support, and she was the only option available.
"Sparrow…" Andy started. Sparrow held up a hand.
"Save it. You're sounding like I'm not coming back. I'll be –fine-, Andy. I'll see you later, all right?" And she started off down the hill, before Andros could say another word.
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"Don't even think about it. You bite me, and I swear, I'll bite right back."
That seemed to get the message across. The biting fairies, which had started to come near her, backed off quickly. Now where was Hoggle? Ah, here he came now.
"Who're you?" he asked. "Wait, ain't you that girl staying up at the castle?"
Sparrow blinked. "Yeah…though I didn't know that was common knowledge around here."
"Word travels fast 'round here. What're ya doin' here, anyways?"
"Come on, Hoggle, I think you can guess. You know very well who came in before me." Time to turn on the charm, such as it was. "Now, don't you think you could open the doors for me, hmm?"
"It's against t'e rules." Was Hoggle's reply. All right, so wheedling wouldn't work. Time to go for the old stand-by: Guilt trip.
"Yeah, I know…but poor Toby's in there all –alone-. He's just a kid, after all. He's got to be so scared." Time to go in for the kill. "I mean, isn't Sarah your friend? And wouldn't she be so upset if anything happened to her brother?"
"Well…I suppose yer right." Hoggle conceded. Hah, I'll take my Oscar now, thank you.
And before she knew it, she was in the Labyrinth. Hopefully, her little talk with Hoggle hadn't cost her too much. By calculations, Toby had only been in the Labyrinth maybe ten, fifteen minutes.
Now came the hard part. Trying to find him. Remembering about the 'I wouldn't go either way', Sparrow went through the hidden opening right in front of her. All right, so at least some things were like the movie. But how was she supposed to find Toby, and who knew where he'd gotten to by now? She hadn't thought that far…
Well, when in doubt…just do –something- and get it over with. In this case, Sparrow went for a unique approach. She was trying to find Toby, right? So, instead of trying, try –not- to. Hey, I did say Sparrow was odd. But it made a weird sort of sense in her brain. So, shrugging, she put her hand over her eyes, and stepped forward…
BAM! About fifty pounds of eight-year-old made contact with just about one hundred pounds of seventeen year old. Sparrow regained her balance a bit more quickly, and held out an arm for Toby to steady himself.
Well, it had actually worked! Whadda ya know!
"Hi, Toby." Sparrow said. To be totally honest, Sparrow had no idea how to talk to an eight-year-old boy. As was stated earlier, she was a youngest child, both of her brothers over ten years older than her. And she had no nephews, yet. So she went with her usual approach when talking to young people. Just talk to them like you would any adult. It had worked for her so far.
"Hi…I didn't know anyone else was in here." He was a cute kid, Sparrow thought. Blonde hair, blue eyes…he'd have the girls beating down the door when he got older. "How did you know my name? Who are you?"
"Oh, sorry, I'm Sparrow. I've come to help you. Your sister Sarah sent me." Well, it was close enough to the truth. And might make the boy a bit more at ease.
"Is Sarah all right?"
"Yeah. Worried about you, but sisters do stuff like that. Now come on, we got a Labyrinth to get through."
"You're going to help me?"
"Yeah…or I'm going to try to, at any rate."
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Sparrow didn't think she'd have so much in common with an eight-year-old. She still wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not.
Toby was at an age where he was reading a lot of the same books Sparrow had at his age. Ah, nice to know that the love of the written word wasn't completely lost upon the next generation. Though Sparrow was a little rusty on her Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume, she remembered enough to keep Toby from thinking too much about what a daunting task they were up against.
She probably should have been thinking more. Before she knew it, they were in front of 'Alph and Ralph', the door guards. And their nether counter-parts, 'Tim and Jim'. Hmm, because Toby was Sarah's brother, were they expected to take the same route? No…it couldn't be that easy. Though admittedly, the route Sarah had taken couldn't really be classified as 'easy'.
"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill. One of you tells the truth, the other lies." Sparrow said.
"Aww, you didn't let us say the part about certain death!" lamented Tim.
Sparrow rolled her eyes, looking at Toby. He shrugged. "Fine, knock yourselves out."
"One of these doors leads to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth, and the other leads to…"
"Ba ba ba bum!"
"Certain death!"
"Ooooo." Sparrow finished with them, trying not to crack a smile. It was her flair for the absurd, but she'd always loved the scene with the door guards. Especially the 'certain death' lines.
"We're supposed to ask one of them which is the way, right?" Asked Toby. Good, so his sister had told him about her adventure.
"Yes. Your sister did have it right, the last time. I'm pretty sure, anyway…only one way to find out."
Sparrow walked up to the blue guard, Ralph. "All right…would he," she pointed to Alph. "tell me that this door leads to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth?"
Ralph conferred with Jim in whispers, before letting out a tentative "yes". Jeez, talk about shades of the movie. But no matter.
"All right." Said Sparrow slowly. "So the other door leads to the castle, and this door leads to certain death."
"How do you figure?" Toby asked.
"Simple…if you really think about it. If Ralph is telling the truth, that means Alph is the one lying. So if Alph said yes…"
"Then it would mean no, because he's the one lying." Replied Toby. "But what if Alph's telling the truth?"
"Then Ralph is lying, which means if he says Ralph would say yes, then Alph would really say no."
"And either way, the answer's no…" Comprehension dawned on the boy's face. Smart kid, he caught on quick.
"That's right. It's a double negative. Simple logical, deductive reasoning." And her uber-intelligent older brothers could eat their hearts out. The creative one –could- think logically, thank you very much. At least, when she really wanted to. Which she usually didn't. "So, Alphy-boy, if you'd kindly move out of the way…"
Alph moved, and Sparrow and Toby went through.
"So…if Sarah was right, how'd she end up in that ouble- oubli- that big hole?"
"Oubliette. And far as I figure, she said something that set J off. Or was something that shouldn't be said in the Labyrinth. I'm not exactly sure which."
"Oh, yeah, I remember now. She said it was a piece of cake…oh no!"
And down they went. Luckily, the helping hands were still there.
"Well, looky here! We got two of them this time!"
"That's unusual!"
"So, m'dears, is it up or down?"
"Well we definitely –don't- want to go down…" said Toby.
"Down?"
"They chose down!"
"No, he said NOT down, you morons!" Sparrow cried. But it was too late. Sparrow landed on the ground with a thump, followed quickly by Toby.
"I'm sorry Sparrow, really, I didn't mean to!" poor kid, he was afraid she'd yell at him.
"It's all right, Toby. Not your fault. And hey, you'll know better for next time."
Now all she had to do was keep calm, and not start hyperventilating. Yes, Sparrow was claustrophobic. Yes, she was this close to breaking down. But would she? No, not with Toby there. What she had to do was find the door. She started feeling along the bottom of the oubliette, near the wall. It was pitch-black, but as long as she kept one hand on the wall, she was all right.
"What are you doing?" asked Toby, trying very hard not to sound as nervous as he was.
"There's a door here, somewhere. At least there should be. Hoggle used it to get your sister out. I'm not waiting for him, in the hope he's coming again this time. And it –should- be around here somewhere. Or something, 'cause he had to get in here –somehow-…ah!"
A ratty, dusty old bit of cloth. Covering what felt like a door. Oh, happy days! Sparrow put the wood up against the wall, hoping it didn't just work for Hoggle. Nope, it was opening…and let there be light!
"Come on, kiddo, let's get –out- of this thing!" And off they went through the tunnels. Past the false alarms, and no sign of he of the glorified mullet hair-do. Maybe he decided not to bother. Maybe he figured, it was good Sparrow was with Toby, to help him. Maybe he was actually learning not to be a pig-headed jerk.
Yeah, and maybe Sparrow would have tea and crumpets with Hades when hell froze over.
"Uh…Sparrow? There's a crystal rolling past us…"
Oh for the love of all things…couldn't he think of –anything- more original?
"What do you want, J?" Sparrow asked of the beggar. Yes, big flourish, throwing of the cape…the Fae needed some new tricks, seriously.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tip your headfirst into the Bog, Sparrow."
Ooo dear, he was pissed. Royally pissed. Ha, ha, I made a witty. Anyway…
"Um…hold on, give me a minute. I'll think of something…ooo! Then Toby would have to go through the Labyrinth alone, and who knows what might happen? Getting her baby brother hurt will not make Sarah a very happy woman."
Now THAT one hit home. Jareth glanced at Toby, who was trying his best to hide behind Sparrow. He was doing valiantly, despite Sparrow's slim size, but he was still visible enough for Jareth to see the poor boy was scared.
Jareth sighed. "Fine. You may continue to help the boy."
Sparrow and Toby both gave audible sighs of relief.
"Thank goodness…one thing though, J, I got to ask. Seriously, is it –always- like this?"
"What do you mean?" Jareth queried.
"Just that so far, this has been the exact same way Sarah took, is all."
"Oh, like something different, would you? Shuffle things around a bit, maybe give you a few surprises?" Oh dear, the smirk was back. That sexy smirk…
Sexy man, sexy man, doing the thing a sexy man can…*coughs* Anyway…
Sparrow realized her mistake. When would she ever learn that speaking is not always the best idea?
Especially, after a flash of light, she and Toby were no longer in the tunnels. Disoriented, for a moment Sparrow wasn't exactly sure where they were.
That was when the smell hit them.
J had transported them to the Bog.
"When am I ever going to learn to keep my big mouth shut…?"
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I had originally planned to make Toby and Sparrow's journey in the Labyrinth one chapter, but after noticing that I'm up to seven pages already, I figure its better split in two. Gives me a bit more room to work with. Oh, and as for the riddle? I hope it's cleared it up for some people. I know when I first heard it; my thoughts were "Huh? I don't get it…" but I finally figured it out a while ago. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember…
"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"
Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan
You know, I've finally realized something. My imagination has an absolutely twisted sense of humor even worse than mine. Here I am, trying to jump-start some idea of what I'm supposed to do next for this story, and not getting any help at all. So, finally, I get some inspiration. For my novel. Which I've had put on hold for months, due to lack of ideas. See, twisted. So, to be my usual obstinate self, I'm writing here instead. Yes, I realize I'm insane. And I'm happy that way, so no need to call the men in white coats. Anyhow, hope you enjoy this chapter, and remember to review!
Disclaimer: The Labyrinth, nope, not mine. That ought to appease the lawyers. Sparrow and Andros, however, do belong to me. If you want them for a story, please ask first.
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Chapter 5: Let's just hope there's no Minotaur out there
"I am insane."
Sparrow had always known she was odd, but she hadn't truly ever questioned her sanity until right now. On a hill overlooking the gargantuan structure known as the Labyrinth, she was this close to carting herself off to the nearest loony bin.
Just –how- did she think she'd be able to help Toby through –that-? Barring having no physical strength to speak of and more medical problems than should really be necessary…she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Not that she usual did, but she was usually better at getting people to believe she did. But this…
"Second thought?" Gya! She'd forgotten Andros was still there. Well, he didn't have to sound so smug!
"Second, third, and fourth." Sparrow replied dryly. "But that's never stopped me before. And neither are you, so save any last minute attempts to dissuade me. I'm damned stubborn when I want to be."
"As you wish." Andros sighed. "Just be careful, huh? Try to make it through in one piece, so Jareth will have more to work with when he tips you into the Bog."
"Funny one, aren't you?" Sparrow said, with a little bark of a laugh. She was terrified, though she wouldn't admit it to the likes of Andy. And she still didn't know what she was doing. Except that Toby would need help, or at least some moral support, and she was the only option available.
"Sparrow…" Andy started. Sparrow held up a hand.
"Save it. You're sounding like I'm not coming back. I'll be –fine-, Andy. I'll see you later, all right?" And she started off down the hill, before Andros could say another word.
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"Don't even think about it. You bite me, and I swear, I'll bite right back."
That seemed to get the message across. The biting fairies, which had started to come near her, backed off quickly. Now where was Hoggle? Ah, here he came now.
"Who're you?" he asked. "Wait, ain't you that girl staying up at the castle?"
Sparrow blinked. "Yeah…though I didn't know that was common knowledge around here."
"Word travels fast 'round here. What're ya doin' here, anyways?"
"Come on, Hoggle, I think you can guess. You know very well who came in before me." Time to turn on the charm, such as it was. "Now, don't you think you could open the doors for me, hmm?"
"It's against t'e rules." Was Hoggle's reply. All right, so wheedling wouldn't work. Time to go for the old stand-by: Guilt trip.
"Yeah, I know…but poor Toby's in there all –alone-. He's just a kid, after all. He's got to be so scared." Time to go in for the kill. "I mean, isn't Sarah your friend? And wouldn't she be so upset if anything happened to her brother?"
"Well…I suppose yer right." Hoggle conceded. Hah, I'll take my Oscar now, thank you.
And before she knew it, she was in the Labyrinth. Hopefully, her little talk with Hoggle hadn't cost her too much. By calculations, Toby had only been in the Labyrinth maybe ten, fifteen minutes.
Now came the hard part. Trying to find him. Remembering about the 'I wouldn't go either way', Sparrow went through the hidden opening right in front of her. All right, so at least some things were like the movie. But how was she supposed to find Toby, and who knew where he'd gotten to by now? She hadn't thought that far…
Well, when in doubt…just do –something- and get it over with. In this case, Sparrow went for a unique approach. She was trying to find Toby, right? So, instead of trying, try –not- to. Hey, I did say Sparrow was odd. But it made a weird sort of sense in her brain. So, shrugging, she put her hand over her eyes, and stepped forward…
BAM! About fifty pounds of eight-year-old made contact with just about one hundred pounds of seventeen year old. Sparrow regained her balance a bit more quickly, and held out an arm for Toby to steady himself.
Well, it had actually worked! Whadda ya know!
"Hi, Toby." Sparrow said. To be totally honest, Sparrow had no idea how to talk to an eight-year-old boy. As was stated earlier, she was a youngest child, both of her brothers over ten years older than her. And she had no nephews, yet. So she went with her usual approach when talking to young people. Just talk to them like you would any adult. It had worked for her so far.
"Hi…I didn't know anyone else was in here." He was a cute kid, Sparrow thought. Blonde hair, blue eyes…he'd have the girls beating down the door when he got older. "How did you know my name? Who are you?"
"Oh, sorry, I'm Sparrow. I've come to help you. Your sister Sarah sent me." Well, it was close enough to the truth. And might make the boy a bit more at ease.
"Is Sarah all right?"
"Yeah. Worried about you, but sisters do stuff like that. Now come on, we got a Labyrinth to get through."
"You're going to help me?"
"Yeah…or I'm going to try to, at any rate."
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Sparrow didn't think she'd have so much in common with an eight-year-old. She still wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not.
Toby was at an age where he was reading a lot of the same books Sparrow had at his age. Ah, nice to know that the love of the written word wasn't completely lost upon the next generation. Though Sparrow was a little rusty on her Beverly Cleary and Judy Blume, she remembered enough to keep Toby from thinking too much about what a daunting task they were up against.
She probably should have been thinking more. Before she knew it, they were in front of 'Alph and Ralph', the door guards. And their nether counter-parts, 'Tim and Jim'. Hmm, because Toby was Sarah's brother, were they expected to take the same route? No…it couldn't be that easy. Though admittedly, the route Sarah had taken couldn't really be classified as 'easy'.
"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill. One of you tells the truth, the other lies." Sparrow said.
"Aww, you didn't let us say the part about certain death!" lamented Tim.
Sparrow rolled her eyes, looking at Toby. He shrugged. "Fine, knock yourselves out."
"One of these doors leads to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth, and the other leads to…"
"Ba ba ba bum!"
"Certain death!"
"Ooooo." Sparrow finished with them, trying not to crack a smile. It was her flair for the absurd, but she'd always loved the scene with the door guards. Especially the 'certain death' lines.
"We're supposed to ask one of them which is the way, right?" Asked Toby. Good, so his sister had told him about her adventure.
"Yes. Your sister did have it right, the last time. I'm pretty sure, anyway…only one way to find out."
Sparrow walked up to the blue guard, Ralph. "All right…would he," she pointed to Alph. "tell me that this door leads to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth?"
Ralph conferred with Jim in whispers, before letting out a tentative "yes". Jeez, talk about shades of the movie. But no matter.
"All right." Said Sparrow slowly. "So the other door leads to the castle, and this door leads to certain death."
"How do you figure?" Toby asked.
"Simple…if you really think about it. If Ralph is telling the truth, that means Alph is the one lying. So if Alph said yes…"
"Then it would mean no, because he's the one lying." Replied Toby. "But what if Alph's telling the truth?"
"Then Ralph is lying, which means if he says Ralph would say yes, then Alph would really say no."
"And either way, the answer's no…" Comprehension dawned on the boy's face. Smart kid, he caught on quick.
"That's right. It's a double negative. Simple logical, deductive reasoning." And her uber-intelligent older brothers could eat their hearts out. The creative one –could- think logically, thank you very much. At least, when she really wanted to. Which she usually didn't. "So, Alphy-boy, if you'd kindly move out of the way…"
Alph moved, and Sparrow and Toby went through.
"So…if Sarah was right, how'd she end up in that ouble- oubli- that big hole?"
"Oubliette. And far as I figure, she said something that set J off. Or was something that shouldn't be said in the Labyrinth. I'm not exactly sure which."
"Oh, yeah, I remember now. She said it was a piece of cake…oh no!"
And down they went. Luckily, the helping hands were still there.
"Well, looky here! We got two of them this time!"
"That's unusual!"
"So, m'dears, is it up or down?"
"Well we definitely –don't- want to go down…" said Toby.
"Down?"
"They chose down!"
"No, he said NOT down, you morons!" Sparrow cried. But it was too late. Sparrow landed on the ground with a thump, followed quickly by Toby.
"I'm sorry Sparrow, really, I didn't mean to!" poor kid, he was afraid she'd yell at him.
"It's all right, Toby. Not your fault. And hey, you'll know better for next time."
Now all she had to do was keep calm, and not start hyperventilating. Yes, Sparrow was claustrophobic. Yes, she was this close to breaking down. But would she? No, not with Toby there. What she had to do was find the door. She started feeling along the bottom of the oubliette, near the wall. It was pitch-black, but as long as she kept one hand on the wall, she was all right.
"What are you doing?" asked Toby, trying very hard not to sound as nervous as he was.
"There's a door here, somewhere. At least there should be. Hoggle used it to get your sister out. I'm not waiting for him, in the hope he's coming again this time. And it –should- be around here somewhere. Or something, 'cause he had to get in here –somehow-…ah!"
A ratty, dusty old bit of cloth. Covering what felt like a door. Oh, happy days! Sparrow put the wood up against the wall, hoping it didn't just work for Hoggle. Nope, it was opening…and let there be light!
"Come on, kiddo, let's get –out- of this thing!" And off they went through the tunnels. Past the false alarms, and no sign of he of the glorified mullet hair-do. Maybe he decided not to bother. Maybe he figured, it was good Sparrow was with Toby, to help him. Maybe he was actually learning not to be a pig-headed jerk.
Yeah, and maybe Sparrow would have tea and crumpets with Hades when hell froze over.
"Uh…Sparrow? There's a crystal rolling past us…"
Oh for the love of all things…couldn't he think of –anything- more original?
"What do you want, J?" Sparrow asked of the beggar. Yes, big flourish, throwing of the cape…the Fae needed some new tricks, seriously.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tip your headfirst into the Bog, Sparrow."
Ooo dear, he was pissed. Royally pissed. Ha, ha, I made a witty. Anyway…
"Um…hold on, give me a minute. I'll think of something…ooo! Then Toby would have to go through the Labyrinth alone, and who knows what might happen? Getting her baby brother hurt will not make Sarah a very happy woman."
Now THAT one hit home. Jareth glanced at Toby, who was trying his best to hide behind Sparrow. He was doing valiantly, despite Sparrow's slim size, but he was still visible enough for Jareth to see the poor boy was scared.
Jareth sighed. "Fine. You may continue to help the boy."
Sparrow and Toby both gave audible sighs of relief.
"Thank goodness…one thing though, J, I got to ask. Seriously, is it –always- like this?"
"What do you mean?" Jareth queried.
"Just that so far, this has been the exact same way Sarah took, is all."
"Oh, like something different, would you? Shuffle things around a bit, maybe give you a few surprises?" Oh dear, the smirk was back. That sexy smirk…
Sexy man, sexy man, doing the thing a sexy man can…*coughs* Anyway…
Sparrow realized her mistake. When would she ever learn that speaking is not always the best idea?
Especially, after a flash of light, she and Toby were no longer in the tunnels. Disoriented, for a moment Sparrow wasn't exactly sure where they were.
That was when the smell hit them.
J had transported them to the Bog.
"When am I ever going to learn to keep my big mouth shut…?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I had originally planned to make Toby and Sparrow's journey in the Labyrinth one chapter, but after noticing that I'm up to seven pages already, I figure its better split in two. Gives me a bit more room to work with. Oh, and as for the riddle? I hope it's cleared it up for some people. I know when I first heard it; my thoughts were "Huh? I don't get it…" but I finally figured it out a while ago. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember…
"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"
Emerald, The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan