Be Careful What you Wish For

Yes, I know. No one can believe I'm actually updating this story. That is, if there's anyone still out there. What can I say? I'm not going to make excuses. I just had more important writing to do than fan fiction. But I always knew I'd finish this up at some point.

Why I chose to do it when I'm buzzed on cold medicine is anyone's guess. No, I don't know why the majority of my fanfic writing is done when I'm on some substance or another. Frankly, I don't want to ponder it too deeply.

Disclaimer: The only things Labyrinth I own are the DVD, the poster, and the Blue Worm t-shirt. Sparrow and Andros are mine, however. If you ask really nicely I might share them.

Oh, and I don't know if anyone on AIM actually has the screen name SparrowJack. If you do, I apologize. SadisticLilFairy -is- my screenname, however. Feel free to IM me but don't be surprised if I'm busy writing.

(breaker. I hate Quickedit2 as much as its predecessor)

Chapter 9: Sparrow loses it, or; Jareth and Sarah get hit by the clue bus

Sparrow and Andros watched the pair on the television, passing the bowl of popcorn back and forth. Surprisingly, Jareth and Sarah were getting along pretty well throughout the meal, keeping the conversation away from dangerous subjects.

At least until dessert.

It had been Andros who was charged with selecting the meal. Both for the fact Sparrow's hands had been full with the other details, and that she had no idea what to serve. Her knowledge of 'fancy cooking' was minimal, having grown up in more a pot roast and hamburgers kind of family. She couldn't pronounce half of the dishes of the meal, much less tell you what they were.

But back to the point. Dessert. Sparrow had suggested something chocolate, and Andros had taken her advice. She figured he would go with a fancy chocolate souffle or something.

She had not expected chocolate-dipped peach slices.

"I knew it!" Sarah cried, jumping to her feet. "Here I was, thinking you had changed. Then you pull something like -this-. Taunting me!"

"Sarah, I haven't the vaguest idea what you're talking about," Jareth replied. "After all you are the one who asked to meet me."

That stopped Sarah cold. "What are you talking about? I got a note saying -you- wanted to see -me-."

"That's preposterous."

This resulted in an argument, both insisting the other was behind all of it. Sparrow sat, shaking her head and sighing. She finally got to her feet.

"Give me the key, Andy," she told Andros. He blinked.

"What?"

"You heard me. Give me the key."

Reluctantly, Andros did as she asked. "They're going to kill you, you know."

"I know," Sparrow admitted. "But it's a far, far better thing I do today than I have ever done before...or however that quote goes. I never could make any heads or tails of Dickens besides A Christmas Carol."

Sparrow unlocked the door, Jareth and Sarah not even noticing. She waited for them to acknowledge her. When they didn't, she got impatient. Pursing her lips she let out an ear-splitting whistle that got their attention quite nicely.

"There we go, that's better," she said over-sweetly. "Now that I've got your undivided attention I have a few things to say."

"Stay out of this, Sparrow," The Goblin King snapped. "This is not your concern."

"Au contraire, it's very much my concern. Since it's the reason I'm here in the first place."

"What?" asked Sarah, confused.

"Buh buh buh! No more interrupting," Sparrow said, wagging a finger. "We shall get into the details later. The main point right now, is that -I- was the one who planned all this."

"What?" cried Jareth, echoing Sarah. Sparrow sighed.

"What did I say about interrupting? Honestly. Now, to my point. You're both idiots."

"You are coming dangerously close to being thrown in an oubliette, Sparrow Whistler..."

Sparrow waved the threat off. "Promises, promises. And it's true, you are. Look at you two! Fighting like this. I'm no psychiatrist but even I can figure out that you're masking your real emotions with all this because you're both too damn stubborn and scared to own up."

"Is there a point to this?" Sarah intoned.

"Yes, there is," replied Sparrow. "There is a whole -community- of people who are enamored with your story. They see the two of you as...well, not everyone can agree on that. But the majority see a beautiful, tragic love story that they all want to make right by giving you a happily ever after. And just for the record, I'm one of them. Or at least I was up until this all started. Because if you two can't get your heads out of your collectives arses long enough to realize you're in love with each other than you don't deserve your fandom -or- fans. There, I've said it. I've done what I was supposed to. What you do now is your own business, I wash my hands of the entire thing."

And Sparrow tossed Jareth the key, turning on her heel and walking out the door. Andros was waiting for her, making the television and other things disappear just as she exited.

"Well said," he told her. Sparrow smiled.

"Thanks, Andy. Come on, let's go find Toby and continue the poker game. Those two need their privacy, whatever they're going to do."

Jareth and Sarah meanwhile, stood in the room, somewhat in shock over Sparrow's outburst.

"Jareth?" Sarah finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"Is she right?"

Jareth smiled. A genuine one, not his usual smirk. "I do believe she is, my dear."

The smile Sarah gave him back was dazzling. "Good. I'm glad."

"As am I," replied Jareth, moving towards the door. He turned the key, locking it. "Now, I believe you and I have a few things to...discuss..."

The author has decided to leave this scene where it is. So you can make up your own minds on what happened next. Depending on how dirty your own mind is, of course.

(breaker breaker 1-9. This is Destiny, what's your twenty, good buddy?)

A few months later

Sparrow watched as the reception went on, various people (and she used that term loosely for some of them) milling about and toasting the Goblin King and his new Queen.

The wedding had been a lavish affair. One could hardly have expected anything else. It was all a bit much in Sparrow's opinion, but then it wasn't her wedding.

She herself was in an out of the way corner of ballroom, standing near one of the open terraces. She preferred being an observer than a participant in parties, and was enjoying the sea of dazzling colors and sparkling finery.

"I was wondering where you were."

Sparrow glanced over at Andros, looking very handsome in his own 'fancy duds'. She hadn't had a chance to speak to him in quite a while, both of them busy helping plan the wedding and all its numerous details.

"I'm not a party person," Sparrow admitted.

"Ah. Sparrow, can I speak to you privately?"

A bit confused, Sparrow nodded anyway. Andros motioned to the terrace, and they walked out onto it. He closed the doors behind them.

"There, that's better."

Now she was definitely confused. "Andy, what's going on?"

"You and I have a very long overdue issue to settle," replied Andros. "What with the wedding and the plans and everything, we've barely had two moment together of privacy. Now, however, we have the time. And I'm tired of waiting."

"Oookay..." said Sparrow, wondering if Andy had gotten into the punch. She was almost certain she had seen it being spiked by a fellow she was pretty sure was Robin Goodfellow, otherwise known as Puck.

Taking this as encouragement, Andros launched in immediately with no preamble. "You told me you loved me."

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"Andy," said Sparrow reasonably. "I think I would remember something like that."

"Yet you don't, or you're not telling the truth," said Andros. "Back when I joked about locking Jareth and Sarah in a room together, remember? You got excited, and then you kissed me and told me you loved me."

Sparrow was telling the truth. She had been so jazzed about finally having a plan she hadn't been quite all together. She had no memory of such a thing...at least until she thought about it. She blushed deeply.

"Oh...my..." she said. "I...oh my. I...well...that is to say..."

Andros couldn't help it, he grinned. Sparrow was absolutely adorable looking completely flustered. He took a step forward, and she took one back. This continued until Sparrow was literally backed into a corner.

"Now Andy, let's not do anything hasty," she said, putting a hand on his chest. She blushed again when he took the hand and kissed it. "I think you've been having a wee bit too much to drink, and you don't know what you're doing."

"Is it so hard for you to believe I want nothing more than to kiss you senseless, sweetheart?" Andros asked. Sparrow let out a noise that sounded remarkably like 'eep'.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," she told him. "Because I am at most a glorified secondary character. And I'm pretty sure the comic relief with the way I babble on and use pop culture references. Comic relief hardly ever gets the guy or girl, it's just not the done thing. Besides which..."

"Sparrow?" Andros interrupted.

"Yes?"

"I love you. Now be quiet so I can kiss you."

Sparrow was about to retort that she did not like being told to be quiet, but she was suddenly being kissed and her thoughts flew out the window.

Jareth and Sarah did live happily ever after, of course. Well, apart from their occasional arguments, since they still -were- them, after all.

As for Sparrow and Andros...well. A cheeky redhead named Destiny tells me they're doing just fine.

(break'er or his neck, whoever came up with Quickedit)

Rebecca rubbed her eyes, blinking as she looked at the blank page in her WordPerfect. The muse was not being happy today in regards to her original work. At least she had finally finished her novel, now she was working on one of the other stories in her series.

This was getting nowhere fast. She closed the program, opening her internet connection and surfing over to She logged onto her screen name. It had once been Emmy-chan and was now Emerald The Lady Destiny, her own online persona. Not many people knew her name wasn't in fact Emmy. Though she did answer to it more than her real name, it seemed. But that was simply for the fact the majority of her friends were online.

Speaking of, a window popped up before her with an instant message. It was from Sparrow, which surprised her. She hadn't heard from her fellow author in quite a while.

SparrowJack: Hey Emmy!

SadisticLilFairy: Hiyo, Sparrow. Long time no 'see'. What've you been up to?

SparrowJack: Like you don't know, Destiny.

SadisticLilFairy: You've lost me, hon. There something you think my alter-ego did?

SparrowJack: Settle in, Emmy. I have got quite a story to tell you...

And Sparrow did have quite a story to tell her friend. One which confused Rebecca/Emmy quite a bit, and made her wonder about her friend's state of well-being. But in the end she took it for what it was.

A pretty good plot for a fanfic.

(breaker)

And thus endeth the story. And more than that, it marks the end of my career as a fanfic writer. I would have preferred to go out with a bang, but going out with a soft whisper isn't so bad.

And I will always have my humor stuff. I know I'm not tapped yet for random insanity, so you may see my name yet again. Just not for anything long like this story here. My priorities have changed since I started writing, and I've gone on to different things. This has been an important part of my life and an important step in my so-called writing career. But its time to move on.

Thanks to everyone over the years who actually thought what I wrote was 'good'. I appreciate every one of your comments. Even you folks who insist on throwing things at me.

Bless you all, and let's say it together: Hope you enjoyed this story, and remember...

"Please leave a contribution in the little review box"

Emerald The Lady Destiny a.k.a. Emmy-chan a.k.a. Rebecca