Chapter 30

Lack of Concentration

Gil was having trouble concentrating on his lecture, although he never let the rows of students know it at all. He doubted even half of them were listening, knowing that forensic entomology probably wasn't fascinating them all that much at all. Half of them didn't even seem to see him standing there, they seemed to be looking past him to the wall as if he didn't even exist.

Even when Gil tried to keep the lecture entertaining, using little jokes, interesting anecdotes he'd come across in the field, nothing seemed to gain their interest. He began to wonder why he'd come at all. He'd been under the assumption that if he were to lecture here, the students would actually want to learn something.

Gil let his eyes scan the rows of seats in search of Sara, she was sitting in the third row, between a rather small blonde student, and one of the professors they'd met at the airport. Professor James Tavish was a man in his early fifties who – if not for his salt and pepper hair – might have passed for a man in his mid forties.

Sara was taking notes in general, this was all part of the evaluation process she had to participate in. Every now and then Professor Tavish would whisper something to her, and she'd turn very slightly to respond as quietly as possible. This was distracting enough, but every now and then Sara would throw him a look, but pretend it was merely her being fascinated by the subject, and she would look back down to her notes, writing with a furious precision and speed.

No matter how hard he tried to concentrate, his mind kept drifting to Sara's hotel suite the night before. He could still practically feel her lips soft on his neck. Every tiny sensation was still fresh in his mind.

Sara leaned near to Professor Tavish to hear something he was whispering. She smiled a little, her eyes glittered as in some secret sort of amusement. Gil didn't like it. Who was this guy anyway? Why did he have to lean so close to Sara at all. It seemed so disrespectful for Professor Tavish to be talking at all, surely he, a Professor, should know better than to be talking to someone during a lecture.

Relax, Gil, he hold himself as he continued with the lecture. He's probably coaching her on the evaluation. After all, there was always someone there to coach Cath whenever she joined me on a lecture.

Still, he couldn't really shake this feeling of jealousy that build up within him. He'd only ever felt it once, really, like this. When he'd discovered Sara had been having a relationship with Hank Pettigrew, he'd felt it then too. It wasn't a feeling he was used to.

Somehow this lecture brought him back to the first time he'd ever seen Sara Sidle, she'd been sitting listening so intently during one of his lectures, that he hadn't been able to help himself in approaching her after the lecture. He'd had to speak with her. He supposed perhaps if there had been a moment when he'd first found himself infatuated with her, it had been then.

Gil pressed on with the lecture, glancing over at Sara again. Now, Sara was glancing around the room towards the students, she'd turn to Professor Tavish and whisper something, to which he'd whisper back.

This is insane, I'm up here lecturing when I should be with Sara sightseeing or making love to her in the hotel suite, he thought.

His mind drifted again back to the day before. Twenty-four hours ago they had been in her hotel suite, and they could have been making love.

Could have been making love, he thought, but weren't. Another missed opportunity. Why did I have to get cold feet? Look at the woman! She's beautiful and she loves me…and she was ready to take the next step with me. It definitely couldn't have gone wrong. We've been in a relationship for over a month…a month and a half actually…and we still haven't been together intimately.

He stared towards Sara again as he spoke, she glanced up at him and give him a tiny smile, but it seemed incredibly forced and insincere.

Most people are making love by the third date…I've even made love on the first date…why can't I just take the plunge with her?

Gil tried to shake these thoughts of himself. It was no good to think of such things during the lecture. He wondered how he was able to stay on topic and still manage to think separately about Sara at all.

After the lecture, Gil watched Sara move quickly to pick ten random students for the discussion group for her evaluation. He watched her disappear off with her group with envy. He wanted to be with her.

As he was clearing away his notes, he was approached by Professor Tavish.

"Fascinating stuff," was the first thing Professor Tavish admitted, which left Gil with not much more response than a wary smile, mostly because he had to listen closely to the man when he spoke. Gil still hadn't completely adjusted to the Scottish accent. "Forensic Entomology is a fascinating subject. It's a shame the students weren't more immersed in the lecture."

Gil felt a stab of humiliation, he almost felt as if this man had said this deliberately as if to indicate the lecture had been rather boring. "Whenever I mentioned cadavers, they turned their attention on me," he tried to brighten up.

"Your colleague has formed her discussion group. I've given her the use of a staff room for the discussion," Professor Tavish explained. Gil hadn't even needed to ask. "She seems rather nervous, is this the first time she's accompanied you to one of your lectures?"

"Yes, actually it is," Gil responded, he placed his notes in his briefcase and snapped it shut, "I thought this would be a good opportunity for her…" he shrugged, "How long will this evaluation take?"

"Miss Sidle will be busy for the next few hours," Professor Tavish stated.

Gil looked at his watch, "Dinner is at eight, it's almost four now, and I have to work on tomorrow's lecture…" he fretted.

Professor Tavish straightened, "If you'd like to leave her, I'll make sure she's escorted back to the hotel in time to get ready for dinner."

Gil adjusted the sleeve of his jacket over his watch, "fine," he said, "please pass on this message, that when she gets back to the hotel, she should come and see me at once."

"Of course," Professor Tavish gave a curt nod.

Gil nodded politely at the man, and then quietly left.

Gil dialed his own work telephone number and left a voicemail message when he got back to the hotel. It was merely a message to remind Cath to take care of the insects he kept as pets, to remember to clear paperwork first thing during the shift before becoming preoccupied with fieldwork. It wasn't anything he hadn't already drilled into her, but he knew, Catherine being Catherine, would somewhere along the line, get preoccupied with something else.

He went over his notes back at the hotel, he marked off on his previous notes where the class seemed to lose interest in his lecture completely, he realised he was going to have to work much harder on the next lecture to keep their attention.

Seven pm came, and went. Sara had not come to see him and he began to feel immediate concern. What could take so long? How could it take three hours to discuss the lecture? No one had apparently been listening anyway!

Gil sighed, pulled himself up from the dresser where he'd been sitting with his notes, and forced himself to get dressed for dinner, although he felt less than enthusiastic about having to do so. After having dressed, he glanced to his watch to see it was seven-twenty-five pm. This was when he heard the sharp rap at his door. He knew it was Sara.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to find Sara already dressed for dinner, a burgundy pant suit with satin lapels, her lips were the colour of deep red wine.

"Sorry I didn't come straight away, I only got back about twenty minutes ago, and I had to rush to get ready," Sara explained.

"I was beginning to think I should send out a search party," Gil said mused, "what took so long?" he asked.

"Writing the evaluation…y'know, half those students weren't even paying attention…and I struggled to get any kind of conversation about the lecture out of them at all…"

"I kind of noticed," Gil sighed.

"I had to write the evaluation based on what they said, but I feel so bad because it doesn't look good for you…" Sara chewed her lip.

"It's fine…it's not me, or you, it's the students…right?"

"Yes," Sara nodded, "definitely the students."

Gil looked over her, "You look nice," he said.

Sara folded her arms, "just nice?"

"Enchanting?" Gil tried again.

"That's better," Sara glanced around the room absently, as she stood there.

"Sara…can I ask you something?" Gil asked.

"Hmm?" Sara turned her attention back to him.

"Was the lecture boring…?"

"What?" Sara asked, she blinked.

"I mean…you attended one of my lectures years ago…where we first met…and you always said it was fascinating…I was just wondering if this lecture I've just given was…more boring than the lecture you attended."

Sara faltered for a moment, "I didn't think it was boring at all…"

"Then why do you have to hesitate to answer?" Gil asked.

"I didn't…" Sara said, she gave a tiny nervous laugh.

"Right…" Gil trailed off, "it was boring."

"I never said that," Sara stated calmly.

"No, but you were thinking it," Gil uttered, his expression full of hurt.

"Don't tell me what I'm thinking," Sara remarked quickly, Gil didn't miss the anger in her voice.

"Fine, I won't," Gil mumbled sourly, "C'mon, we'll be late for dinner."

Thanks to the following people for reviewing over three lines long: MissAmanda, Kristy87, djkittycat, ScullyAsTrinity, and AmbientFlames.

In reference to djkittycat's review saying she's never known it to snow in Edinburgh, actually it's been snowing in Edinburgh today, 1st March, I woke up and there was snow on the ground, and Fife (across the Firth) is all white. It's starting to melt away now because it's started raining, but I did take a nice picture of my snowy street the minute I woke up. I've also seen snow here in MAY, so it's not completely impossible.