A/N: 'Ello! I'm back! And I want to thank everyone for their reviews! And because people miss my parody "My Clan"..I'm gonna sneak it in this chapter in a really stupid way! Go Me!!

THREE DAYS LATER IN THE NANMAN TERRITORY

"God, it's so hot in this jungle!" complained Sima Yi, waving his fan to cool himself off. The eight warriors made their way through the sweltering heat of the famous Nanman jungle, wiping their foreheads every once in awhile to cool themselves off.

"Yeah, it must be at least 120 degrees!" agreed Gan Ning.

"That's impossible!" retorted Lu Xun, glaring at the pirate.

"Actually, with the combined force of the relative humidity incorporated with the high temperature, there is a chance I'm accurate." Answered Gan Ning. The group paused and looked at him. He blinked. "What?"

"When did you transform into a genius?" asked Zhou Yu.

"Or, in other words, where the hell did that come from?!" Sun Ce demanded. Gan Ning shrugged.

"Hey, let's keep going. I want to get out of here before night fall." Noted Jiang Wei. He turned to continue walking when a spear was pointed to his heart. He froze and slowly looked around. Nanman soldiers surrounded the group; spears pointed and bow loaded. Gan Ning scratched the back of his head as he surveyed the situation.

"Well.... Shit..."

After walking for a few miles, the group arrived at a small village of huts and tents made of animal skin. The eight warriors were taken to a large tent in the middle of the village and pushed inside. Around various tables sat soldiers, eating meat and drinking wine.

"Well, they look like a lively bunch." Noted Lu Xun. Suddenly the soldiers started singing, as if on cue,

"Oh, I got two legs from my waist to the ground, and

When I move 'em they walk around, and

When I lift 'em they climb the stairs, and

When I shave 'em they ain't got hairs! And-"

"Shut up! The lot of you!" came an exasperated voice. Everyone looked over to see a woman with blond hair and caramel skin standing at the back table beside a large, hairy man who was humming with the song until his wife slapped him in the back of the head.

"Great, we've found the lost loony bin of China." Muttered Zhang He.

"Sorry, your highness. We found these eight wondering around the jungle in your territory. What do you want us to do with them?"

"Are they musicians? I want to hear a song!" bellowed Meng Huo. An archer glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.

"Uh... I doubt it, my king..."

"Well, make them sing! Or just kill them!"

"We'll sing! We'll sing!" Zhou Yu and Lu Xun jumped in at the same time.

"Good!" said Meng Huo, grabbing a huge leg of meat and tearing into it with his teeth. Zhou Yun looked a little green.

"You think someone would have taught him manners." He muttered as the group huddled.

"Okay, we need a song." Said Sima Yi.

"Uh... how about... 'Cherry Blossom Love?'"

"I don't know that one." Said Lu Xun.

"Oh.... 'Warriors Hymn?'" asked Zhao Yun.

"Don't know it either...."

"What song do you know?!"

"How about that song that you did in Shu?" asked Lu Xun, looking at Jiang Wei.

"In Shu? I was in Shu?" asked Jiang Wei, confused.

"Duh! Why do you think you got Zhao Yun at such a good price? The merchant knew you knew him!" said Gan Ning. Jiang Wei looked at Zhao Yun closely.

"Oh...what do you know. I do remember you."

"Oh yeah.... You left to see if you could find your parents. Any luck?" asked Zhao Yun.

"Yes. They're quite happy now."

"Good. Good."

Zhou Yu cleared his throat. "Um... we need a song." He said.

"We could do that song... but we need the other warriors from Shu." Said Zhao Yun.

Suddenly, the tent flap opened and Zhang Fei poked his head in.
"Hey! Zhao Yun! Jiang Wei! It is you! We were just passing through and I thought I thought I heard you! What's going on?"

Jiang and Zhao looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Okay... THAT was ironic..." Zhao muttered. "Okay, we'll do the song..." he agreed as the rest of the Shu warriors filed in.

"Yay! I love this song!" exclaimed Zhang He, clapping excitedly as he, Sima Yi, Zhou Yu, Sun Ce, Lu Xun, and Gan Ning sat at a table.

(Zhouge Liang )
I don't know dude, I think everyone's all jealous and shit,
Coz I'm like the lead 'gist of the clan dude,
And I think everybody's got a fucken problem with me dude,
And they need to take it up with me after the war, because

(Chorus – Zhouge Liang )
These chicks don't even know the name of my Clan
But they're all on me like they wanna hold fans
Coz once I blow they know that I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead stratigist of my clan

(Zhouge Liang )
So I get on battle field right, drop the sike
Walk up to these hot chicks and I'm all like
"Sup ladies, my names Zhouge Liang, I'm the lead 'gist of Shu Clan baby"
They're all like "Oh my God it's him!, Melin oh my fucking God it's Ge-ge!!, I swear to fucking God that you fucking rock, please Liang! Please let the fan girls flock!"
Now by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous
Especially when I drop the plan and do my sweet ass spell-as
All the chicks start yellin' all the hot babes
Throw their swords and their shoes and their shields on stage
So like every single night they pick a fight with me
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Coz they're back on turf the next night with me
"Dude I just think your trying to steal the light from me"
Yesterday Liu Bei tried to pull a knife on me
Coz I told him Sun Shang is my wife-to-be
This stratigist shit is the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me be coz these

(Chorus – Zhouge Liang)
These chicks don't even know the name of my Clan
But they're all on me like they wanna hold fans
Coz once I blow they know that I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead stratigist of my clan

(Bridge – Zhouge Liang)
My clan, my clan, my clan, my clan, my clan, my clan, my clan, my clan, my Claaaaaaaaaan, my clan baby yeah

(Zhang Fei)
You just wanna see a fighter backwards don't you?
Ain't that how come we don't fight on good turfs
Smash these vocals and do a battle

But we're on our feet and he in a carrage
You don't want my weapon youse a liar
And nah I'm Fei
(Oh I thought you were Liang)
What the hell is wrong with our resting rooms?
Cause our shit is smaller then like a Dong Zhou club
See I know how to snap, it's simple but
All I did is read a Sima Yi book
So I'm all in tact trying to get on the map
Doing jumping-jacks while getting clawed on my back

(Zhao Yun) Look at Liang little punk-ass thinking he the shit
(Ma Chao) Yea I know man by himself taking all the clicks
(Zhao Yun) Ay I thought we had an interview with Lord Liu Bie
(Zhouge Liang) No I had an interview, not you two
(Ma Chao) You gonna be late for stratgy check
(Zhao Yun) Man I ain't going to stratgy check
(Ma Chao) Our plans is screwed up
(Zhao Yun) And his always sound best
(Ma Chao) You no what man, imma say something, (Zhao Yun) Aiyo Ge
(Zhouge Liang) You got something to say?
(Ma Chao) Man no
(Zhao Yun) I thought you was about to tell him off man, whats up?
(Ma Chao) Man imma tell him when I feel like man shutup
And you aint even back me up we supposed to be Shu
(Zhao Yun) Man I was about to talk right after you
(Ma Chao) Oh man whatever
(Zhao Yun) I swear, I swear man

(Chorus – Zhouge Liang) These chicks don't even know the name of my Clan
But they're all on me like they wanna hold fans
Coz once I blow they know that I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead 'gist of my clan

(Guan Yu)
They say the lead 'gist rock but the clan is not
Once we beat out Lu Bu to Japan
I'm gonna let the world know that Shu is hot
I should cut Liang's voice off when the meeting starts (Aiyo wh-)
Ready to snap that dumb-ass Han
Every time I hear "Hey dude I love your plan!"
We ain't a "plan" bitch, we don't have one guy
So why he getting 90 and we only get 10 guards
And Liang's acting funny every battle area
"Yu, carry my books" bitch carry your own
Can't make it to the field, guards in the way
Who the fuck are you?

(Jiang Wei)
Godammit I'm sick of this group
Time for me to go solo and get me some land
I told you I made the clan and wrote all the plans
Till Wei Yan, slipped me some crack
"Chi Bi Battle?" - I was in the back
"Nanman Campeign?" - I was in the back
For the Han, I got some suggestions
Fuck Liang, ask us the questions
Like who are Shu, how we get started
(But what about Liang?)
Shao, are you retarded?
Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group
Very tight ass, bitches think I'm cute
Sima told me to do sit-ups to get buff
Did 2 and a half and couldn't get up
Fuck Liang, I'm outta this Clan
I'm bout to start a group with the real nice plan

(All Shu minus Zhouge Liang )
Girl why can't you see you're the only one for me
And it just tears my fan apart to know that you don't know my name
You don't know my name

(Pang Tong)
These chicks don't even know the name of my Clan (Haha)
But they're all on me like they wanna hold fans (Fuck Liang)
Coz once I blow I know that I'll be the man (Yea)
All because I'm the new...... (Hahahah)

(Zhouge Liang & Pang Tong )
My Clan, my Clan, our Clan, your Clan, our Clan, Sweet plan, Da man

(Zhouge Liang - Mexican Accent )
I'm the lead 'gist of my clan I get all the girls to take off their waist band

I'm the lead 'gist of my clan my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance
My salsa
Look out for my next single it's called "My Salsa"
My salsa salsa salsa salsa
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their waist band
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their waist band
My salsa

Where did everybody go?

"Yeah! Woo!" cheered the Nanmans. Liu Bei turned to Zhao Yun.

"Do you want to come back with us?"

"Not as of now, my lord. I'm still seeing new things." Bowed Zhao Yun.

"Okay. May luck be with you." He said before turning to the rest of Shu. "MOVE 'EM OUT! We're done for now!"

As the Sch warriors left, Ma Chao snuck over to Jiang Wei.

"Hey, can I come with you? Please." Begged the dragon-armored man in a whisper as he tugged on Jiang's shirt. "They....they won't stop singing the song that never ends! I'm losing my sanity! Please! I'll do anything!"

"Sing 'I'm a little tea pot.'" Injected Gan Ning.

"No, you don't have to. You can come." Said Jiang Wei, shooting Gan Ning a look.

"Thank you!" exclaimed Ma Chao, flopping into a chair beside Lu Xun.

"Shut up!" bellowed Meng Huo. The room grew silent. "For the wonderful song, tonight we feast!!"

"When don't we feast?" asked a soldier. Zhu Rong snatched a plate from the table and hurled it at the man, knocking him unconcious.

"Stupid question." She snapped. "Now eat!"

Two hours into the celebration, the tent flap opened and a soldier ran in, panting for air.

"My King! Dong Zho is on his way here! And.... And Lu Bu is with him!"

The room froze in shock. After a few seconds, Ma Chao blinked and looked around before leaning over to Zhao Yun.

"Um... why are we still acting frozen?"

"Dramatic effect." Answered Zhao Yun. Ma Chao slowly nodded.

"Oh... I see." He answered, returning to his shocked pose.

"Gather the men! We'll meat them....heh.... I said meat as in food...." Meng Huo chuckled. He composed himself and stood up. "We fight at dawn!"