AUTHOR: Woot! Look at me go! Thank you everybody; Lickmaflaminlamabitch, Mistostrap, CrazyInsanity, KiritoJun, ruby-the-fire-mage, Xiao Qiao/ DW Master, nanashi 1523, The Brown-ie, Zhou Yu's Girl, WindsOfEternity, lacus411, Princess Xiong, and everybody I forgot (Sorry!) It's good to know insanity is accepted everywhere I want to be!

NEXT DAY

"Okay. Remind me again why we're still here?" asked Gan Ning as he stood with Jiang Wei, Sun Ce, Zhang He, and Sima Yi as the sun rose at the Nanman camp.

"Because you know that guy…gods, what's his name…the fat one with a mole on his forehead…." Sun Ce scratched his head in thought.

"Cao Ren?" asked Sima Yi.

"No! No, the one with Lu Bu…"

"Oh, you mean Dong Zhuo." Realized Jiang Wei.

"Yeah! Him! He's after us because we rule most of the land." Sun Ce finished.

"Besides, we're the hottest guys around. If our looks don't kill him… I guess our skills will." Noted Zhang He.

"True, but what about Lu Bu?" asked Sun Ce.

"Oh… yeah. He is the best in the land right?"

"Yep, and he rides a red horse. I want a red horse…. Or maybe a white one with red stripes. That would be cool."

"Yeah! Or even a green one!" Everyone turned and looked at Zhao Yun, who had just stepped out of his tent. "What? I like the color green! And it would blend in with the grass!"

"Well, I would want a piratey horse." Said Gan Ning.

"Dude, is 'piratey' a word?" inquired Sun Ce.

"It is now."

"Stop making up words!" Sighed Lu Xun as he, Zhou Yu, and Ma Chao walked up.

"Why not? You make up new words every time we're-"

"Finish that and you aren't getting any for a week." Snapped Lu Xun.

"Any what?" asked Ma Chao.

"Uh…food. He won't get food for a week."

"Busted!" snickered Zhang He.

"Excuse me," said a Nanman, running up. "We need your help! Lu Bu is already here and attacking!"

"Did you hear anything!" demanded Lu Xun.

"No! Nothing! I didn't hear anything! Especially that terrible attempt at a cover up!"

"Good." Lu Xun smirked, then paused.

"Forget about that! Let's go!" said Jiang Wei. All nine officers raced to the front line where Lu Bu was succeeding in killing Nanman soldiers.

"…Wow… he's good." Noted Sima Yi.

"This will be fun!" laughed Gan Ning.

"Yeah." Agreed Ma Chao.
"Go ahead. I have an idea that will stop Lu Bu for sure." Said Zhou Yu, taking a hold of Lu Xun's arm. Lu Xun looked at him confused as the rest attacked Lu Bu.

"What's going on? With the nine of us, we should win."

"I know, but there maybe a way to turn Lu Bu on Dong Zhuo." Zhou Yu leaned over and whispered his plan to Lu Xun.

"NO! There is no way in the three kingdoms I'm doing that! You've lost it!"

"Hey, you're the one with a pink outfit." (Sorry, but it's true. I can't believe his 6th costume is pink) Zhou Yu pulled Lu Xun with him. "Now stop complaining."

"Worms!" boomed Lu Bu. "You dare challenge the great Lu Bu!"

"Yeah! We do!" answered Gan Ning, standing ready with his sword. At the same time, he and Ma Chao leaped at the tall warrior, but were easily deflected. Next to try were Sun Ce, Sima Yi, and Zhang He. Sun Ce and Zhang He were also deflected, but Sima Yi managed a hit.

"Yes! I hit him!" exclaimed Sima Yi. "I'd like to see Zhouge Liang do that!"

"Vile dog! You shall pay for that scratch with your life!" roared Lu Bu.

"That's right Lu Bu. Kill them." Came a voice. The seven warriors looked over and burst into laughter. Dong Zhuo was covered from head to toe in bandages and someone had drawn an attempt at an evil face on the bandages. "Silence! Silence!" roared Dong Zhou, trying to raise his arm, but failing. Even Lu Bu snorted as he tried not to laugh. "Lu Bu! Attack them!"

"Okay…. Mummy." Lu Bu snickered. The seven warriors laughed even harder.

"Stop laughing! Nobody laughs at me!" snarled Dong Zhuo. Finally, the seven warriors got themselves in control. "Lu Bu, hurry up." He hissed before riding off the field. As he left, the seven lost it again. On his back, someone had wrote "kick me' in bold letters.

"Oh…oh man…. I can't breathe…" Sun Ce gasped. His suddenly panicked. "I can't breath!" he screeched. Gan Ning hit him on the back and he took a deep breath. "Thanks." He panted.

"Now, where were we?" asked Lu Bu.

"You were about to surrender to us." Said Jiang Wei.

"Oh? I was? Then, I hear-by sur…. No I wasn't! I was going to kill you!"

"Please don't!" Came a high voice. The warriors turned to see a lady standing on a hill dressed in a light pink dress and trying to stay standing on high heels. "You can't!"

"Diao Chan?" asked Lu Bu.

"Um…yeah! Lu Bu, please do not kill them! Dong Zhuo is the one who needs to be killed!"

"Why?"

"He…uh….he sings out of tune!"

"WHAT! That monster!" roared Lu Bu, racing off.

"Well done Lu Xun." Whispered Zhou Yu from behind the 'lady'.

"Shut up. If you tell anyone it was me, I will cut your hair to look like someone stampeded over it." Hissed Lu Xun as he stumbled back to the tent. "How women wear these I will never understand." He growled, kicking off the shoes. He yanked the scarf off of his head and used it to wipe of the make-up. "And Zhou Rong will kill us if she finds out you stole her make-up." He quickly changed back to his outfit and tugged on his hat.

"Then we keep that a secret also." Mused Zhou Yu.

"Deal." Muttered Lu Xun. "That was SO wrong!"

"But it worked. Now, let's round up the others and get out of here. We'll head back to Wu territory."

"Why?"

"So we can sleep in our own beds and drink some good wine."

"Oh… you're right. Let's go."

Sorry it's so short. But my brain hurts. I need to figure out where to go from here!