Wounds
"Sasuke?" whispered a voice in Uchiha Sasuke's mind. A familiar voice blurred by the sensation of waking from unconsciousness. When he didn't answer it it simply began humming again; a sweet melody. His body felt warm, as if drying in the sun, and heavy, perhaps the result of grogginess. Drugged? His eyelids opened, though the rest of him could not move. A hazy view of blue skies, golden gleams, falling leaves, and pink…and green. A gentle face so close- inspecting curiously.
"Sasuke?"
A tiny groan escaped his lips. She sighs, relieved, "I was beginning to worry. How do you feel?"
"Wha…?"
"Hmm…still a bit sleepy, huh? Well I've got some medicine to help with that but first…"
She seemed cheerful to have him this way. She folded her arms over his chest and rested there while she explained to him, soothed by his rhythmic, slow breathing.
"Kakashi-sensei thought it wise to take you away for awhile…to get away from it all. I agreed you know, you need some peace and quiet, some fresh air and sun." She giggled a little, as if talking to a statue, speaking to herself more than him; the way schoolgirls do with pillows pretending it's their crush.
"So he gave me this sleeping powder, strong stuff, and pointed me to this island. I got all our stuff ready and swam them out here on a raft…it kinda broke though on the way back. By then you'd already drank the tea so I didn't have time to get a new one, so I just swam with you out here. It wasn't far…anyway…that's why you aren't completely dry yet. I hope you're not mad…it's just…we knew you wouldn't come willingly."
She gets off him and digs through a dark green bag next to her and pulls out a small vial o brilliant blue liquid. She returns to her position.
"Are you angry?"
"Uh…ie." He manages to groan, slightly miffed.
"Good," she smiles, "then open up."
She slowly pours the vial's contents between his slightly parted lips. Strength returned, he grabs hold of her arms and sits up slowly so she won't fall off him. He sighs…then looks down into her worried green eyes and cracks a smile.
"So, I've been kidnapped?"
She smiles back at him and, remembering her fatigue from the swim, suddenly collapses in his arms, asleep instantly. Sasuke let her stay there a few moments before slipping out from under her. After making her comfortable in the grass, he got up to stretch and finish setting up camp.
What is this? Get away? From what? What do they think I'm going to do? Why is she here with me then? Not that I mind or that any of it matters. Nothing matters. I can do whatever I want now…but what is there? What do people do after they reach their goals? Make new ones? ...Itachi…what do I do now?
Sasuke realizes he's driven the tent's stake into the ground quite enough and moves on to the next one finishing setting up the little blue tent. A tiny drop of water lands on the back of Sasuke's hand, startling him slightly. He looks up…the sky is clear but it seems a little drizzle is coming anyway. He pushes the wood Sakura gathered for a fire into a small corner of the tent, and then walks over to the sleeping girl.
He crouched down to look at her more closely, his turn to watch her sleep, to appreciate her beauty, to awe their new relationship. He smiled and wiped a water droplet from her cheek. The sporadic droplets soon became the drizzle he'd expected. He gathered her in his arms and effortlessly lifted her from the grass. She groaned a little and her eyelids fluttered just before nuzzling her head into the crook of his arm.
He brought her inside the little tent, made smaller by the firewood's presence. After setting her down he went to retrieve her green bag and another sack that must've contained their clothes. He got these and brought them inside the tent as well, which was becoming uncomfortably crowded. Night was falling and Sakura still looked as though she needed more sleep. She would probably sleep until morning. He wanted to make her comfortable and warm, but didn't want to take liberties with her that she had not taken with him.
"Eh…Sakura…" he put the back of his hand to her face, a gesture he never imagined himself doing, yet came so naturally, "Sakura…wake up for a moment…you should change…and um…"
She opened her eyes slowly, rubbed one, smiled, and sat up.
"This bag has our clothes in it, right?" he asked, handing her the bag from outside.
She nodded, still half-asleep, as she took it and rummaged for her night clothes. He stood outside until he heard her plop back down among the blankets she'd brought. He looked in at the girl he'd known so long, seeing her for the first time without her usual attire. She wore black shorts and a loose button up white shirt, he could tell by her outfit she wasn't sure what the weather would be like here. She had on shorts expecting it to be hot and a shirt that had cut off three quarter sleeves, incase it was a bit cold, but button down if warm…she really was a smart girl.
He stepped in momentarily, only to fix the blanket she'd neglected to pull over herself. He smiled…taking care of her was nice. She'd always taken care of him, but he could seldom return the favor in the same way. The kind of care she'd given him was far different from the protection he gave her in battle…far more…more…personal…far more intimate.
He sat outside in what had become rain …oh well, he thought, my clothes weren't completely dry anyway. He trudged around in the rain and eventually came upon a lake at the foot of some mountain cliffs, from which a small, quiet waterfall fell. He'd been thinking as he walked, on why he was here, what would happen now, and his mind returned to what had happened then. He sat next to the lake's edge and viewed his ripple-distorted image in the murky water. He even looked cold to himself.
Who have I become? I don't even remember a time I could be at peace…a time without death and hatred. Why aren't I happy? I should be…shouldn't I? I've completed my life's goal and fallen in love…what's missing? What am I not getting? …Itachi! What am I thinking?…he murdered my family…our family. I could never…he would never have…it doesn't matter anymore! HE'S DEAD! You KILLED him! yes. He was your brother. He HATED us! Really? YES! He killed them! He killed them all! But not you…he left you alive…why? It doesn't matter…he didn't love me. Why then…did he hug you? He could've dodged or killed you long ago. But he didn't. That's right…he LET you kill him. But why?"
"AH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!" Sasuke screamed. His head was swimming in contradictions, drowning in emotions. He clutched his head in his hands and continued to stare into the murky depths.
Sakura found him the next morning there, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself. The lake was placid now, glimmering blue in the sunlight, everything seemed to glow whenever Sakura was around. She, worriedly, ran up to Sasuke, grabbed his shoulders with force, and began to shake him in attempt to remove that empty look from his eyes…a look that didn't see. Growing increasingly worried, Sakura tried talking to him: "Sasuke! SASUKE! Why are you so wet? Where WERE you! Did you stay here all night? What were you THINKING! Why didn't you stay with me? Come on Sasuke! Snap OUT OF IT! What's wrong! What happened? TALK TO ME!"
Nothing. Sakura let go of him and was silent a moment, eyes averted. Then she slapped him…hard. It seemed to work because his eyes grew wider and he blinked a little. She recoiled and with a horrified hand to her mouth whispered, "I…I'm sorry…Sasuke-kun." Now he seemed more in a state of shock. She pulled him close and held him until she felt his arms enclose her as well. They pulled back and she looked into his eyes for an explaination. He put on a smile and scratched his head awkwardly, "Uh…I…sorry about that…maybe one of those potions had some side effects?" He smiled and laughed nervously, knowing she didn't buy it but would let it go for now.
"Well…as long as you're alright…"
She knew it wasn't the potions but perhaps he would talk about it later. She didn't want to force anything out of him…that never goes well.
"It's a nice day," he began, changing the subject, "want to go for a swim or something?"
"Sure…but let's go back to camp first…we need to start a fire and dry your clothes out…" she smiled "…and I'll need to change too." She had, in her haste, run out to find him in her night clothes.
Sakura led Sasuke by the hand back to their makeshift camp. There the two of them prepared for their day. Sasuke started the fire in his usual way and used a wire to serve as a clothes line. Sakura emerged from the tent in a blue-black bikini that matched her newfound confidence. She blushed a little and put a strand of her soft pink hair behind an ear when Sasuke stared astonished at her modest beauty. She walked up to him pretending she was more comfortable than she really was.
"Almost ready?" she asked.
"Almost."
Sasuke removed his sandals and trademark wrappings. Strange how uncomfortable clothes can be in nature. He left on his shorts and a pinkish hue emerged on his pale cheeks. It took them both awhile to get used to seeing each other this way, but once they did they enjoyed a day of rare relaxation: climbing and napping in trees, swimming, lying in the sun, and even carving their names in a tree, a fairy tale evening.
Sakura never felt so happy, though something was bothering her. Sasuke had warmed up to being with her, grown more comfortable in touching her, holding her hand, stroking her hair, and even giving light kisses…but something was wrong. It wasn't that she was afraid his feelings had changed or that he was only doing these things because he thought he was supposed to. She only worried about what was behind his strange smile.
Sakura rarely saw Sasuke smile before so she wasn't sure if it was just the way he was...but when he smiled there always seemed to be a slight pain behind it. A smile whose purpose was to allow her NOT to worry, a false happiness. He's hiding his pain so I can be happy, she thought. He still…doesn't tell me anything.
That night they sat by the warm fire quietly. This time it was Sasuke who broke the silence.
"Sakura…I…killed…my…my brother."
She looked up at him as he stared off into the distance. She didn't say anything, only waited.
"He…he let me kill him." Sasuke's voice was soft, full wondering and instability.
"He…dropped his knife…and just…" his throat seemed too tight to speak; he felt the emotion in his own voice, provoking tears. He looked at her concerned face…waiting so patiently.
"…hugged me."
They sat awhile not saying anything. What could Sakura say to that? All her ideas "I'm sorry" or "It'll be okay" fell short of her true feelings. She didn't know anything about Itachi…she didn't see what happened. She was helpless again. She was useless to Sasuke all over again. Her eyes watered…for Sasuke…she had to think of a way to help him…he'd been through so much.
Sasuke's quiet was beginning to scare her. He'd started telling her these things, finally, but what good did it do? She opened her mouth but it was Sasuke who spoke.
"Why…"
"Sasuk…"
"WHY ITACHI!"
Sasuke stood up abruptly, knocking a startled Sakura to the ground, and ran off. She sat confused as to whether to follow. She had to think of some way to help him. Would telling him her encounter with Itachi make him angry with her? Or would it help him in some way? She didn't see how it could, but decided to tell him anyway.
She found Sasuke by the lake again…peering into the murky water with a frightened look on his face. He jumped when she uttered his name.
"Sasuke…" she looked unsure of the words to say, "He told me…he said…he was ready…to end it all."
Sasuke just looked at her, attentive but disbelieving at the same time. She…spoke with Itachi? When? How?
"He said…if I didn't send you to him…"
What?
"He'd kill all of Konoha until he found you."
Send me?
"You weren't to know…that he'd spoken with me. He said…if I got anyone involved…if…if I went to the Hokage…he-he'd torture everyone in front of me…and…and…" she began to cry remembering his threat and her betrayal. Sasuke's silence unnerved her. Maybe…maybe she'd made the wrong choice. But she had to…do what she was told.
"He gave me this envelope…and told me to give it to…the last Uchiha…when it was all over."
She stepped forward and held out the black envelope Sasuke now realized she'd been holding. Her eyes still watered but now she seemed more on edge…afraid. Of what? Did she think he'd hurt her? Did she blame herself for all that had happened? It was my fault.
He wanted to comfort her, but his own selfishness and curiosity took over. He took the envelope from her trembling hand, with a look of pained awe. He carefully ran his fingers over the seal…as if, upon opening it, it would disappear. Itachi…
"Otouto,
If you have this…it will mean that you succeeded in killing me, as I planned. I know what you're wondering…there's no way you could know otherwise…why I did what I did. You couldn't see, Sasuke, how much pain I was in. I felt used and alone…childhood stolen. It drove me a little mad…and I didn't want that for you. You have choices now; free from the clan. I know how you're feeling now, as I have killed kin…I hope you can handle it better than I did. Only death awaits me now and I'm glad it will be by your hands. I wonder, will I be able to resist the urge to hug you one last time? I guess I can't die without explaining it to you…it would be easier on you to believe you killed a murderer and not your brother…but I really…don't want you to hate me and dwell on it the rest of your life. Well, goodbye, little brother, and please…forgive me."
Sasuke let the frail white paper fall from his fingertips. Sakura swallowed hard. She couldn't read his face…there was just too much.
"Sakura. I…want to be alone."
She whispered "okay" and Sasuke ran off, stumbling along the way. Sakura fell to her knees. The letter lay before her, slowly becoming illegible as wet mud spread among the fine calligraphy lines. What should I do? She thought. She wanted to rush to Sasuke, but he wanted to be alone, she wanted to know what information he was alone with, but didn't want to…invade his privacy. Would he be angry if she read it? Was he angry with her anyway?
Cold night fell and Sasuke sat at the roots of a tree. He was shaking all over, but with the cold or something else, he didn't know.
He cared about me? The letter didn't say that. No, but he…didn't want that for me. He wanted me to have a life. He killed them all…because…he wanted me to grow up in a better way than him. But how was this any better? He asked my forgiveness. He ruined your life. He stole everything that was precious to you. Not everything. I still have…a life…a chance. No you don't. You're a murderer. You killed your brother. You cause Sakura so much pain. She's crying now, you know. Why? For you. Stop it. She almost died for you. And he…he DID die for you. See…his blood…is on your hands.
Sasuke's hands shot in front of his face. Sakura heard a shrill scream in the distance. She ran hard to get to him, her dress caked in mud, ignoring his request to be alone. He was in pain and she knew it and HAD to help: for him…and for her.
It was a cloudy night, the moon and stars could not aid in Sakura's search. It wasn't long, however, before she stood before him, tears falling to join in a blood-soiled earth. Her arms hung limp, her whole body, was frozen. It felt alien to her…numb.
"What…what are you doing?" she asked in a forced whispered voice. Her own voice echoed in her mind…a stranger even to her. Uchiha Sasuke: the calm collected one of her group. Uchiha Sasuke: in whom she found strength, and determination, and love. Uchiha Sasuke: the confident, cold, and vain, sat before her, mesmerized…by his own bloody hands.
"Uchiha blood."
"What…are you doing?"
Sasuke dropped the kunai, noticing Sakura at last. He had the same look in his eyes as before.
"I was…there was…"
Sakura knelt down to him.
"His blood was on my hands…Uchiha blood…on my hands…just like him…I'm just like him…I killed my family…I killed him. I killed him. I killed him. I killed my brother. He…he…loved me. I have nothing. My blood. Uchiha blood."
Sakura stared in horror at Sasuke. She grabbed his arms, slippery wet with the beautiful red liquid.
"Sakura…I can see it…it's still there…blood…on our faces."
Sakura began to cry. Green light slowly poured from her palms, thank God, it was working. Tsunade-sama…it's worse than we imagined. After healing his flesh wounds she pulled him into her lap. He buried his face in her shoulder. She kissed his cheek and stroked his hair. How can I heal his wounds? Dirty and bloody they sat. What now?
"Sakura," Sasuke choked out, "…help me."
A/N: I don't feel like this one is as good as my other two. I did it over a longer period of time and so it may seem choppy or something. It needs extensive editting...but I don't want to do that if it isn't worth it...so if you like it please let me know so I can either scrap it or edit it. Thanks
