The exhausted rescue team left the Gateroom and made its way down to the former quarantine zone. They were all worn and tired. Sergeant Jansen was on the brink of falling over, but he was insisting on walking to the infirmary under his own power. Still, Dr. Garber kept a close eye on him, in case he was not as well as he claimed. She was still not convinced that the healing device they had acquired provided a total cure. It seemed to have gotten rid of the drug in Teyla's system effectively, but in the more severe case of their CO, there were remaining effects of the poisonous dart.

The discovery of the artefact could revolutionize what they knew about medicine and biology in general. So far they had only been able to speculate about how the ancient ability to heal worked, they had never been able to study it. Now, they would have this chance. She eyed her team-mates. They all looked like they needed a shower and at least a week of sleep, but they were holding up all right. Including Teyla. Dr. Graber couldn't imagine the horror she must have been through. She was probably still in shock.

Indeed, Teyla bore only the vaguest resemblance to her usual self. Her hair was in a tangled mess, pieces of leaves sticking in it. It was evident that aside from the daily rains, it hadn't been washed in a while. Dr. Garber's uniform jacket was too wide for Teyla who was thinner than Dr. Garber. The make-shift skirt used to be off-white was stained with dirt, having taken on a green-brown mottled pattern.

Only her straight posture and graceful motions were unchanged by the horrendous trek through the jungle. They seemed to only have slowed down her movement. Dr. Garber could not help but marvel at that, she was too well aware of the slouch of her own shoulders, but lacked even the energy to straighten her back.

Finally, after what had seemed like a kilometre long stretch of corridor, they reached the former quarantine zone. The main room was strangely empty. They were mid way in when a nurse walked up to them.

„Sergeant Jansen. " She nodded to the leader. „The Gateroom informed us that you would be coming. We are trying to reach Dr. Beckett, he should be here shortly. In the meantime, I suggest you lie down over here. The rest of you can sit over by the wall. "

The nurse guided Jansen over to an exam table and helped him out of his jacket and boots. Jansen groaned. His head was hurting fiercely and the wound in his back where the dart had hit him felt like a sword had impaled him. All he wanted was for Beckett or any doctor to arrive and fork over the drugs.

„If Beckett isn't here, aren't there other doctors that can treat us? "He asked grumpily.

„I'm afraid not. Drs. Woods and Viro are getting ready for surgery right now. I could see if Dr. Hendricks can get down here, but I think he's on duty in the temporary infirmary. "The nurse shrugged and went back to her desk.

„We have cleared the entire area, the sector is secure. Awaiting your orders, ma'am. "Sergeant Forsythe spoke into his radio.

He and his men were gathered in front of the sealed door of the chair room.

„We read two life signs in the room ahead of you. Can you confirm? "Elizabeth's voice crackled over the radio.

„Yes, two life signs confirmed. Energy presence is not expanding further according to Dr. Javier. "

„Dr. Grodin confirms that. " There was a pause, and then a loud crack echoed over the radio before the connection to the command centre died.

At the same time, the corridor in front of the chair room, along with the entire City of Atlantis was plunged into darkness.

„Dr. Weir, please respond! " Sergeant Forsythe yelled. He switched off his com, and then switched it on again.

„Dr. Weir, this is sergeant Forsythe, are you reading this? "

His call was met by silence.

It made all sense. John was dying. His vitals were dropping, his heart was slowing, and his body was cooling down. But at the same time, he was giving off pure energy. The beeping of Radek's scanner confirmed it, but Carson could literally feel the energy that filled the room. It vibrated through his body, like an invisible warmth. He had never felt any sensation like it.

„Carson! "He heard Radek call his name. The other man was standing at John's side, reading to lift him back to the bed.

Carson just shook his head. It was too late to stop this. Even if they could it wouldn't be right. This was the next step in the cycle of life. Not for all humans, not yet anyways. Maybe one day they would evolve to that point. But just as there was a point when even as a doctor he had to give in the death, he had to give in now and let nature take over.

At first, it was small, and centred around John's body, but the bright warm light grew fast. Carson and Radek stared mesmerized, drawn in by the evolution of light and energy from the lifeless body of their friend. It was a sight neither of them would have ever been capable of imagining. The light moved up from John's body and coalesced into a pulsing entity of blindingly bright light hovering in the air above, its glow filling the entire room. Neither of the two men had noticed that the other lights had gone dark. Carson stared at the entity, unable to move as it advanced towards him. He had never dreamed of seeing something like this. Even reading about it in the medical files of the SCG hadn't brought it close to what it was to witnessing it.

The white light blinded him and he closed his eyes, he wanted to move, but his body was paralysed, unwilling or unable to obey his commands as the entity approached him, coming almost close enough to touch. Carson could feel the energy ripple through his body with an intensity that it almost hurt. The ground vanished beneath his feet and every nerve ending awoke. A bright white bolt seared through his mind, illuminating the darkness.

This was what it must be like to transcend physical form, was his last conscious thought before he was swept away on a wave of blinding white light.

Suddenly everything went dark. Every light, every console lost power at the same time. Even the Gate powered down instantaneously. At was as if someone flipped the power switch. For a second, there was utter silence before everyone started talking at once, asking questions, trying to move in the darkness.

„Stop, everyone stop talking! " Elizabeth yelled. It had the desired effect. The voices started dying down fast and within second there was silence in the command centre.

„Grodin, where is emergency power. It is supposed to kick in whenever power fails in the City? "

„It should. But without the use of the computer system, I can't tell you anything, except that everything is off-line at the moment. "

„That's not helping. " Elizabeth commented dryly. She tried to reactivate her com. „Sergeant Forsythe, do you hear me? "

She got no response. The com system was down as well. They were perfectly vulnerable at the moment. If the Wraith decided to attack now, they would be helpless. Just because they had beaten the Wraith once, didn't mean that they had defeated the enemy forever. They would be back, eventually.

„Is there a way to manually bring the power back on-line, or at least switch on emergency power? "

„There is, but it's a bit from here. I could show you on the map, well if I could…" Grodin said nervously. „That's presuming that our power supply hasn't been damaged, if the energy that we detected earlier was a life form, it could…"

„We can't assume anything right now. " Elizabeth cut him off. „Take two marines with you and try to switch the power back on manually. We need to get power back to be able to defend the City. Without the computers we are blind. "

At first he though he had finally fallen asleep and this was some pleasant dream were the offending lights that were aggravating his headache were gone, but when Jansen heard the chatter of his team follow the plunge into darkness, he immediately knew that he was not asleep, but that something bad had happened. On a military base, the power didn't just simply go out. There wad always a back-up, especially, in the high tech City of the Ancients.

Before they could do much, their attention was draw to desperate shouts coming from the next room down.

„Damn, what just happened? I can't see anything. Where is the damn back-up power? This can't be happening. "A woman sounded panicked, and then something was knocked over. Metal clattered to the ground.

„Dr. Woods? "Another voice, confused now.

„The respirator! "The first woman shouted. „It must have shut off. "

„I can't find a pulse. But I'm not sure, fuck. I don't think he's breathing. Where is the power? "They were yelling now. More objects fell to the ground.

„Ow. Damn. It's too fucking dark. I'm getting started on compressions. Get that tube out of his throat; I need to get him breathing. "The voice was frantic.

„It won't work. He's too deeply sedated to breathe on his own. "The woman sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

They could hear bodies shift and mumbled counting start as one of the doctors did CPR on Dr. McKay.

They looked at each other horror on their faces. The same thought occurred to them simultaneously. The healing device. It was the only hope now. It might not work, but it was worth a try.

„Here, quickly. "Dr. Garber handed the device to Captain Mars who put it on even as he ran towards the door separating them from the adjoining room. Teyla followed right behind him. The rest of the team stayed behind, knowing that they would only be in the way.

Mars and Teyla came to a halt as they entered the room that served as an operating theatre in the quarantine zone. It was pitch black in the windowless room, only the Ancient artefact that Mars was wearing emitted an intense unearthly blue glow. Dr. Viro was staring at them, having noticed their arrival. In the blue glow, they could see tears on her face. Further back in the room, they could see the shadowy figure of Dr. Woods straddling Rodney, frantically performing CPR. Mars rushed towards her, ignoring Dr. Viro. Within a second he was standing next to the doctor and her lifeless patient how looked white in the blue light. Dr. Woods seemed to not even have noticed him. Only when he put a hand on her arm, she tried to shake him off.

„Dr. Woods, you have done enough. We can help him. We have found an Ancient technology on the planet"

„Can't let him die. He's my patient. "Dr. Woods panted between compressions. She was clearly at the end of her strength. When Mars grabbed her by the shoulders and led her to the ground, she hardly resisted. He quickly moved back to Rodney, praying that it was not too late. He focused on the still man, imagining healing him. Mars had no idea what he was doing. To tell the truth he was scared of failing, of making a mistake. All he had ever done with his gene was flying a Puddle Jumper, but not nearly as well as the major. Just well enough for supply runs for the mainland. He probably wouldn't do as a fighter pilot. And now he was expected to raise the chief scientist from the dead.

„You did it, he's breathing. " Mars heard the words and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and found Jansen standing next to him. Dr. Viro was tending to McKay. Teyla and Dr. Garber were nowhere to be seen.

„Let's get out of the way. You've done your job. "Jansen said and led Mars back into the infirmary.

The Gateroom was empty and silent. It must have looked that way for 10 000 years, Carson mused, looking around. He was alone, standing in the middle of the Gateroom. Yet, he felt strangely at peace. This was right; he was supposed to be here now.

„That's right Carson, I brought you here. " Carson swivelled around, when he heard John's voice from behind.

John was standing about ten feet behind him, a smile on his face. He looked just like Carson had seen him last, before his accident in Rodney's lab.

„Is this…are you? "

„Yes, and I am. I thought I'd say good bye. I wanted to tell you that it isn't your fault. You did all the right things. This was always going to end this way. "John said.

„How can you be so sure? "

„I know now. You know, time and space. Point is, it's going to be hard enough on you for a while even if you don't blame yourself for this. You can't afford to. You have friends to look out for. They need you. "

„Lately I haven't been much of a help to my friends. " Carson said dejectedly.

John knew what the doctor was thinking.

„They are doing better than you think. Rodney is going to be fine. But he needs someone to have an eye out for him. Radek's a great friend, give him a chance. "

With that John dissolved again, this time faster, into the being of light and energy that he was now. With that, the illusion that he had created for Carson disassembled as well and collapsed into darkness.

It wasn't a pretty sight. Medical equipment was strewn around the make-shift operating room. One of the doctors, Dr. Woods, Rodney wasn't entirely sure, was sitting on a chair outside, head in her hands, shoulders slumped. A few unknown military goons were hovering over one of their own, and Teyla was there as well. They all seemed pretty subdued. His own body was lying on a gurney in the operating room, a sheet haphazardly draped half way over him. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to him. Was it because it was already too late? He definitely looked dead. His face was ashen and there was a trickle of dried blood at the corner of his mouth. His bare chest looked horrible. Where the infection had not yet spread and caused his skin to blister and flake, his flesh was mottled with bruises.

„Am I dead? " Rodney asked his companion.

„No, you are too stubborn to die. " John answered. „You were already dead when they brought you back with an Ancient healing device. You got lucky. "

„Then what are you doing here? " Rodney asked, already knowing the answer. For a moment he had indulged in the belief that John was going to welcome him to the other side. But this was nothing more than an illusion while he was probably drugged into unconsciousness in the Atlantis infirmary.

But John read his thoughts.

„I'm as real as you are. You are out at the moment. But I'm really here. To say good-bye to you and to set you straight. I know you are going to blame yourself for everything that happened no matter what I say, but I'm still going to say it. You couldn't have known what was going to happen with the alien device. There was no way to know. It could have happened any time. It could have happened to you for that matter. What counts is that you have been a friend the entire time through this. I'm going to return the favour. "

„Friendship doesn't work that way. What are you going to do, you are dead? "Rodney snapped, emotion threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't have that. John couldn't die while his life had been miraculously saved. Why couldn't the healing device have also saved John?

„It was too late for him. My time. But you'll see me again. Don't be too hard on Carson. He was trying his best. "

„He killed you! " Rodney scowled furiously.

„Forgive him. He meant well. "John smiled. „Forgive all of them."

Radek's relief was immense when the energy entity released Carson from its grasp. For a time, he had been worried about his friend. He rushed to Carson's side, Carson was pale and unconscious, but his pulse was strong.

„Carson? " Radek shook him gently.

„Radek? John? "Carson mumbled.

„It's me Radek. Are you all right? "

„John? "

It was growing darker in the room, as the energy being was drifting towards the ceiling. The room was plunged into darkness once it had left the room.

„He is not with us. " Radek tried to calm Carson who wasn't fully awake yet.

„What's going on? Where'd the light go?

Radek grabbed tightly onto Carson's hand.

„It's going to be all right. " Radek didn't know, but he couldn't afford not to.

Radek held Carson's hand for a long time. It was still in the darkness. Time lost its meaning. Radek could not tell whether minutes or hours passed. Carson had drifted off again. Eventually, after an eternity had passed, there were voices and footsteps outside. Sparks started flying from the doors. There was a small explosion and a troop of heavily armed soldiers poured into the room, finding no one but two exhausted scientists. No alien threats whatsoever.

One week later

Elizabeth was reading through the final reports concerning the events last week. A lot was still unclear and she had the feeling that they might never now some of what had happened. Both Drs. Beckett and Zelenka had given nearly identical descriptions of having witnessed John Sheppard's body evolve into a being of light and energy. All that had been found in the room with them later was the major's dead body. After some argument, it had been agreed that Dr. Viro do the autopsy. She found no clear cause of death, but since murder could be ruled out under the circumstances, 'death by natural causes' was put on the death certificate and entered in the official records.

Elizabeth sighed. Losing people was hard. Picking up the pieces was harder. Two days ago, she had made Sergeant Bates position of military commander of City permanent as well of Sergeant Forsythe's new position as chief of security. There had been no celebrations and only subdued congratulations.

Elizabeth signed the last of the reports and closed the file. She moved on to the next point on her agenda. It was even less pleasant. She had gone ahead in spite of the protests of Drs. McKay and Beckett and had arranged a funeral of John Sheppard on the mainland for the next day. She had listened to both men who insisted that John wasn't dead in the technical sense but that he had ascended to the non-physical form of the Ancients. Elizabeth wasn't sure what to make of that. She didn't want to doubt what Beckett and also Zelenka had seen, when they against orders, had placed Sheppard in the Ancient chair, but there was a lot that irked her. There was Sheppard's dead body for once. It was all going over her head, if she was honest. But the funeral would remain set for the next day. All the people they had lost had been buried on the mainland so far, and tomorrow, they would have to add another grave. Another one too many.

The infirmary was almost empty at this time. Captain Kang had been in earlier with a broken wrist, but otherwise there was only one patient at the moment. Sergeant Jansen and his team and been cleared of any infection and had only been kept in the infirmary for 24 hours after their arrival back from the planet. With the help of the healing device and a continuing course of antibiotics, Carson had been able to release Sergeant Bates three days ago. His only patient at the moment was Rodney. His friend was causing him a lot of worry. Although Rodney was finally improving, the healing device had turned the tide and the infection was under control. It had been a close call a week ago when the power had failed after Rodney had been taken into surgery, but he had been very lucky. The healing device had saved not only his leg, but also his life.

The medical staff was still studying the device; they had yet to find out how it worked. They only know that it only healed partially. The current theory was that it maximised the bodies own systems and that there were biological limits to this.

Carson walked over to Rodney's bed.

"Good morning, Rodney. How are you feeling today?"

Rodney didn't even turn into his direction. He had been ignoring him ever since he had woken up. At first Carson had thought that Rodney had suffered mental impairment, that his brain might have gone without oxygen too long when the power failed, but all scans had been negative and he had been interacting normally with Teyla and Radek who had been to visit several times.

Carson ignored Rodney's silence and went on.

"Your last x-ray and blood test looked all right. You can leave today. With a brace for your leg. You'll have to keep of it for another four to six weeks. I already told you this, but the infection weakened your bones causing them to break. I can't tell you whether they will heal on their own. Only time will tell. Don't worry about being in pain." Carson put a bottle of pain killers on the night stand and leaned a cane against the bed.

"You are going to need this." Rodney followed Carson's movements with his eyes.

Rodney slid of the bed, reaching for the pain to balance his weight on just one leg. Carson knew better than to reach for Rodney's arm to support his friend. Rodney was going to need time.

It took long and was awkward to do without help, but Rodney finally managed to dress. Then, he managed to hobble out of the infirmary without looking back.

He took the nearest transporter to Elizabeth's office. His leg was aching and he could feel cold sweat running down his back by the time, he hobbled along the corridor towards Elizabeth's office but he was determined. One step at the time, he fought his was to the door.

He knocked. Elizabeth immediately answered and helped him to a seat. Rodney came straight to the point.

"I want to go back to work. Anything."

"Doctor Beckett hasn't cleared you for work. But once you are cleared you can get back to work. The City needs you. We need you and we have missed you. All of us. I'm glad that you have decided to come back to us." Elizabeth said.

"I'm out of the loop with everything that's been happening. I need time to read up on everything." Rodney said. "I can do that now. That's not working."

Elizabeth smiled. This sounded like the Rodney she knew. Obsessed with work.

"Talk to Dr. Zelenka, I'm sure he'll help you. I'll contact him as soon as I can and tell him to expect you."

Elizabeth wanted to tell Rodney to lie down for the rest of the day, but she knew that it would be pointless, if he wanted to go to the lab today, he would go there, no matter what she said.

Back in his quarters, Rodney leaned against the wall and let himself slide down to the floor. He was exhausted and there wasn't a muscle in his body that didn't hurt. The little trip to Elizabeth office and then to his quarters felt like a marathon run on his knees.

Rodney drew his knees up to his chest as well as he could with the bulky brace that encased his injured leg. He sat there until after it had gone dark in the room.

When he heard a knock on the door he didn't react, he mentally willed away however wanted to disturb him now.

"Rodney, it's Carson." The familiar voice announced from outside.

"Go away!" Rodney shouted, temporarily forgetting that he was not speaking to Carson.

Carson didn't answer and at first Rodney thought he had really gone away, but then the door slid upon. Carson carefully stepped inside, thinking on the light as he came in. Carson was carrying a tray of food.

"I brought you dinner and the meds you forgot to take with you this morning." he placed the bottle on Rodney's desk.

Smelling the food, Rodney realized how hungry he was. Still he refused to give in.

"Come on Rodney. I know that you are mad it me. Believe me I did everything I could. I wish things would have been different." Carson pleaded.

Leaving the food on the desk, he came over to Rodney and sat down on the floor next to him. Rodney contemplated getting up, away from Carson, but remained sitting. He was tired. 'Forgive them'. John had said that. Rodney wasn't sure he could do that. Maybe a bit every day. It was going to be easier than forgiving himself. Only John could forgive him. John was out there, and some day, they would meet again.

The End